


Doshio

by Julibun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-07-27 15:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 141,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16222076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julibun/pseuds/Julibun
Summary: Kyungsoo had always adored Chanyeol from afar. The school's prince, everybody and their mother's sweetheart. In his eyes, Chanyeol is like a god. And that means, Kyungsoo himself is the lowest of peasants. That one guy in the kingdom that nobody wants to be around.A story where Kyungsoo is torn between climbing up, and falling further and deeper all at the same time. Chanyeol's his ultimate likeable role model. Or maybe a little more?Let me know what you think! ♡





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the longest super soft story I've written to date. I'm not the most confident about it. Gone over it for days... So if there are typos they're beyond my concern now!!  
> I feel very relieved to finally release this and continue on with the next story.  
> -Inspired by Kimi Ni Todoke! (Though it's worlds different haha)
> 
> All chapters have been posted, thank you!

 

 

 

'Doshio'. Just like Toshio from The Grudge. A little boy whose skin is white and cold, eyes big and curious, hair black and surprisingly soft looking. That's what Kyungsoo's nickname has been ever since elementary school.

He doesn't really have any issues with owning up to this nickname, really, because he has to admit, other than the fact that his skin isn't really as white as snow, he kind of reminds himself of the little boy too. His black hair often falls over his forehead, and his eyes are fairly large and wide even when he doesn't try to make them any bigger. Combine that with his problematic eyesight which forces him to sometimes unintentionally glare at people for the sake of properly seeing them at all, and you get yourself a nightmare.

The only problem he does have with being called Doshio, is that it comes with further consequences, becoming the school's ghost boy. He knows it because he always hears it, because he's been hearing it ever since elementary school.

Does he have any 'special' abilities? Is he able to communicate with supernatural beings? Can he summon ghosts? Will one be cursed with bad luck by looking into his eyes for too long? Will he haunt whoever speaks to him in their sleep? No. No to all of these. But it's still stressfull.

At least nobody is being actively mean to him. Nobody's spreading any bad rumours about him, nobody's bothering him. Almost like he's living in a separate dimension than everybody else when they always clear him a path to walk through without even touching any of them. He's never been bullied or hurt by anyone. He's just, the ultimate outcast.

He doesn't hate people. In fact, he really wants to make some friends and experience a happy cheerful youth just like he sees his classmates do around him ever since junior year of highschool began. But at the rare times he manages to power through, gather enough courage and actually approach someone in order to help them in something and possibly make a connection, they always apologize to him in fear and run away from his sight.

At the beginning, when the nickname just began spreading in elementary school, he wondered if it was solely because of his weak eyesight, or maybe it came about because of his black smooth hair. Only later in middle school he found that it was simply a pair of teachers joking about it in the hall. Other students heard it, and it turned into law at school and continued from there.

More than anything, he is just lonely. He doesn't have any special activities to embark on with any friends, since he has none. He doesn't have the mental capacity to become an incredible student even if it seems like a person with so much free time would be able to do so. But for him specifically, being a not-so-great student is not as much of an issue.

Kyungsoo always agrees to take any school related tasks upon himself. The tasks where the teacher asks in class if any student would like to help with something, and nobody raises their hands because nobody wants to do it? Those. Kyungsoo always does these things to help his teacher and classmates because that way he could become at least a little useful for them. Since he cannot be of any use when it comes to the social aspects of being a part of the class.

He cannot do anything for them without causing them to fear him in one way or another. Even when he tries to be polite and smile, or bow, or compliment. It feels pretty bad, to be unable to connect with anybody else. But more than that, Kyungsoo feels bad that he is, actually, unable to do any of the things everybody expects him to be able to do.

He doesn't have any special abilities, he cannot communicate with supernatural beings, he canno summon ghosts, and nobody really gets cursed when looking into his eyes. He's unable to haunt anybody when they are sleeping either. He needs to sleep at night as well.

But to cover up for all of these expecations which will result in disappointments if his classmates knew, he tries to make it up for them by doing everything else he can. So days at school are often way longer than anybody else's due to constant extra tasks teachers give the class and he takes it as his own responsibility to see through to completion.

 

 

Junior year of highschool was pretty much nothing different than what Kyungsoo had expected it to be. Since they're nearing the end of the year already, he's been having a lot of conclusive thoughts about the pros and cons of the year, about how successful he'd been at what he had set up as a goal to achieve, and general self reflection.

Clearly, on the social aspect, he's been failing. But he expected that to happen, so he isn't terribly regretful about it. It's very hard for him to successfully communicate with people around him since he's been quite an introvert his entire life.

One good thing he has will be coming to an end, when it comes to social skills. His only friend in school is going to graduate at the end of this year. A childhood friend who's been with him in elementary school, middle school, and now, highschool as well. Kim Junmyeon. A beloved student well known for his graceful beauty and behaviour. When this year ends, he will leave, and Kyungsoo will be left all alone again.

He really tried to be nice and kind, be respectful of people's space, keep himself calm and collected when speaking to others, in order to make friends through the years. Junmyeon had tried to give him many tips of this sort about making friends. But he came to the conclusion that he's too shy, and even when he feels like he's doing well, he only later realizes that everyone else still finds him scary.

It was such a relief to have Junmyeon around all these years. He's very thankful to the fact that regardless of his own 'rank' in the social hirarchy at school, he always made sure to check up on Kyungsoo and spend time with him when the opportunity arose. Thanks to that, Kyungsoo felt like he was still fine, like he was still able to get through the long days without feeling the heavy burden of his own loneliness.

That's why, now that he's finally forcing himself to come to terms with the fact that Junmyeon will not be around anymore, he starts worrying that the rest of his highschool experience will be very sad, distant, and lonely. It's going to be a whole lot more difficult without Junmyeon around.

Leaving the classroom during the day for Kyungsoo was a big event that happened pretty rarely. Normally if he'd spend the entire day inside the classroom until it was time to go home. The only things that made him leave were tasks given by the teachers, and Junmyeon inviting him to eat lunch out in the garden together. He knows that from next year onward he wouldn't be invited to eat outside by Junmyeon anymore. Which means, a lot more time spent alone in class.

It's really going to be tough. But he'll continue doing his best like he always has, and maybe one day it'd be good enough for someone.

Although, other than Junmyeon, there was only one student that actually treated him with decency. Park Chanyeol.

The tall, fit, handsome, smart, multitalented classmate of his, that everybody in this school facility has fallen for. Students and teachers alike, love and adore him and everything he does. Kyungsoo included. He's always admired Chanyeol a lot ever since the beginning of the year.

Chanyeol is just so, lively, compared to Kyungsoo's own death surrounding aura. He laughs a lot, talks a lot, only saying things worthy of hearng. He's always at the center of other people's interests and always looks like he's having so much fun just existing and being alive. Kyungsoo was really impressed when Junmyeon told him about how even seniors have been falling for Chanyeol's charms after only a single year of being in the same school as him.

He's the total opposite of Kyungsoo. Chanyeol is considered royalty, and by that, it means Kyungsoo is considered that one dirty insignificant villager that'd be the first to get blamed if anything goes wrong in the kingdom.

Which is why it was nearly impossible for Kyungsoo to understand why would someone as impossibly perfect as Chanyeol would put any effort into being nice to him. That question in Kyungsoo's heart was also the reason he'd decided to actively not react to any of Chanyeol's good intentions at all. It'd just bring him down, it must have been a mistake, it wasn't for him, are the excuses he'd given himself. Chanyeol is just too good for this.

 

 

There was barely any time left in the year, only a few last weeks. Kyungsoo could feel the heat of summer tingling on his face when he went to school every morning. He could also feel the buzz of his classmates' excitement about the many plans they have made for this break period with no school. He heard them speak of going to trips, visiting family, spending time with each other, while he sat quietly with fantasies about how such experiences would feel if he'd gone through them himself.

He knew he won't be getting any of it, he knew he will never get invited to the end of year's party, he knew he wouldn't be welcome to join any of the activities his classmates plan even if they're right within his reach. That's alright. He will work harder so that if he manages to make friends with them next year, he will be included.

"So, who's going to help me prepare the lessons for those who have to come to the summer school program? That includes mostly office work and maybe a bit of school maintenance." Their teacher asked at the end of the last lesson of the day. Since Kyungsoo's seat is at the front of the class, he could only assume that the lingering dreaded silence behind him only meant that none of the other students were willing to take over the task.  
"Anyone?" The teacher probes, the silence only grows more uncomfortable.

Alright, this is his chance. Kyungsoo decided he will take this task, along with all the others he has done through the year, and that way he will be able to become useful for his classmates yet again. That way he will be approved by them, and they'll accept him eventually, right? And since he hasn't been invited to anything, that means his summer is empty and cleared.

It'd be too boring to stay at home all day every day during the summer, and by taking this job for himself he'd not only be occupied, but also benefit from knowing that his classmates know he had done it for them. Just like he always has. So quietly, he raised his hand high enough for the teacher to notice him. The teacher looked pretty displeased by seeing Kyungsoo's hand being the only one rising for yet another task, but Kyungsoo could see the way he shrugs that feeling off immediately.  
"Alright then, we've got a generous volunteer, so---"

"That's unfair. Why do you agree to let him do all of these tasks all the time? Just because other classmates don't wanna do it, doesn't mean he has to take responsibility for them." A deep voice spoke from the center of the classroom. Kyungsoo was extremely surprised to hear anybody interrupting the teacher like this, let alone surprised that it was none other than pcy who spoke.

He didn't understand why he'd say such things, first of all, Kyungsoo wanted to do it. This is another chance given to him to become useful. It'd be best if he took it when it's available. But at the same time... He couldn't help but be pretty baffled from the fact that Chanyeol, who he admires the most out of all the people he's seen in his life, actually paid enough attention to him to notice that he's been given to do all of the 'unwanted' tasks through the year.

It was quiet for a few moments, until other classmates suddenly began talking as well. "If you're so bothered by Doshio doing them, why won't you do them yourself?" One of the guys teased him with a joking grin. "Nooo! Don't do it, we had plans, rememeber?" Another friend of his said in a nervous tone, turning to Chanyeol in an attempt to stop him from proceeding in that direction.

"I'll do it." Chanyeol eventually declared after the many teases coming from his classmates "Guess I don't have a choice." He shrugged and leaned back in his chair.  
The classroom has been thrown into chaos, students are trying to convince him to decline it and take back his decision again. It was quite amazing, how the entire class was trying to protect him like this. But... No. Kyungsoo wouldn't let it happen. Chanyeol should have listened to his friends better.

He quickly rose up to stand in his seat and looked at the teacher with determination. The class turned silent.  
"I will do it, I want to do it. I don't have any plans, please let me do it instead or I'll be bored during the summer and---" The teacher seemed to have understood the message, with quite a lot of fear from Kyungsoo's serious determination towards him, he agreed to let Kyungsoo be the one to do it.

Kyungsoo sat back down relieved as he heard the little mumbles of classmates passing behind him. They must also be relieved, knowing that Chanyeol was free from this mission. Now that he's free from the burden of having to do this during the summer, he'll be able to fulfill is role as the amazing friend that he is towards all of the classmates. He is needed by so many other people, it'd be awful if he had to waste his time doing something Kyungsoo is used to doing on his own.

He was glad though, because by pretending that he cares about Kyungsoo's fairness in the class, Chanyeol was able to raise the amount of love and admiration everybody has for him. A person that cares about justice is considered strong minded and brave. Kyungsoo felt grateful that he was able to provide Chanyeol with an opportunity to show even more of his charm to others.

 

 

The next day, luckily for Kyungsoo, Junmyeon has come to his class to pick him up and eat their lunch outside in the garden. This was one of the few days that haven't had any summer rain in them, so sitting outside in the shade of the trees while the skies are clear and blue was really nice.

Junmyeon spoke for a while about how he's been accepted to the college he wanted, and that he already has a friend there that will show him how things are done. He explained that the college is so nearby that he wouldn't even have to rent a dorm, but stay at home with his parents instead. It made Kyungsoo start thinking about his own future, but quickly after the subject had changed when Junmyeon spoke about his plans for the summer.

"I thought I wouldn't have any plans at all," Kyungsoo began sharing. "But when the teacher asked for a volunteer I realized it'd be a good chance to spend the time while also being useful to my classmates." He smiled, and Junmyeon gave him a small yet not whole smile in return.  
"They still didn't invite you to anything...?" Kyungsoo shrugged, but then remembered what had happened after he accepted the task.

"Nobody expected it at all, but suddenly Chanyeol decided to stand up for me... He said it was unfair that I end up doing everything nobody else wants to do, then he wanted to do it himself." Kyungsoo continued, shaking his head with a small pout.  
"Chanyeol is so foolish for thinking he was doing anything good by trying to take this job on himself." He complained, knowing that deep down he's very thankful for it, but on the practical level it simply wasn't a smart decision for Chanyeol to do this himself.

Junmyeon sat in front of him in silence, looking at Kyungsoo in a suspicious way while nodding his head to the side.  
"Mmmh? What do you mean?" Kyungsoo asked, cluelessly, before noticing that Junmyeon's eyes weren't looking at him, but at something beside him. So he turned around to check what made his friend go quiet.

He froze in his spot, eyes wide. Oh no. How long has Chanyeol been behind him? Has he heard anything of what he said about him? According to the face Junmyeon made, Kyungsoo realized that he must have been there for quite a while. And according to the face Chanyeol was making while staring at them right now, he knew it was the correct guess.

"Hey, how should I interpret it? Your words?" Chanyeol asked with no particular expression of any emotion on his face. Ah, the way his ears peek through his fluffed hair was so adorable--- Focus, Kyungsoo.  
He shut his mouth tightly and lowered his eyes down nervously. Should he apologize and explain it's a misunderstanding? Should he be honest about it and explain what he really meant?

Maybe this would be a good chance for him to try his best and possibly make a good connection with someone, like he always tried yet failed with anybody else. Chanyeol was his inspiration after all, his muse, his ideal of goodness. Chanyeol has always been treating him fairly, too. So the least he owes such a great person is the truth, right?

"It's a compliment." Kyungsoo said eventually. "Because... Because you were being too selfless. And it resulted in your suffering." He tried to sound confident, but even he himself could hear the way his voice shook a little when he explained the reasoning. He shouldn't ruin it, this will his first proper interaction with Chanyeol after a whole year of bluntly ignoring his good intentions.

Chanyeol stood there at the edge of the tree's shade silently for a while, staring at Kyungsoo before suddenly laughing . Kyungsoo couldn't do much other than stare at him in awe. He was so beautiful when laughing. Even his laughter's enough to spread happiness to his surroundings. However the laughter was short lived, since one of Chanyeol's friends began approaching him and calling him over and away from Kyungsoo and Junmyeon's location.  
It was good while it lasted... Surprisingly though, opposite of Kyungsoo's expectations, Chanyeol dismissed his friend away, and walked towards him and Junmyeon instead.

Kyungsoo's entire energy suddenly spiked into nervousness as he turned back to Junmyeon, only to see him already standing up with his packed lunch and smiling at him. "I'll see you later." Junmyeon said softly and walked away.  
"A-Ah..." Kyungsoo mumbled, turning his head back to Chanyeol. He was waving at someone behind Kyungsoo with a smile, before stopping and standing right in front of him.

Did he make a mistake? Did he do something wrong? Maybe the fact that Chanyeol laughed is a sign that he'll just be teasing him? Or maybe he'd actually done something right?  
"Thank you, I appreciate your honesty." Chanyeol began, his voice deep and husky and simply spectacularly pleasant in Kyungsoo's ears.

"Actually..." He rubbed the back of his head and looked sideways, averting his eyes away from Kyungsoo's as if he's nervous. His chuckle sounded nervous, at least.  
"I was sure you hated me... Since everytime I look at you, you turn away. And everytime I try to talk with you, you end up slipping away before I can say anything." He admitted, sounding more like he has some regrets about these instances.  
"So I'm relieved to know I didn't get on your bad side." Chanyeol then smiled at Kyungsoo with warmth. The dimple forming on his cheek making him look youthful and charming.

Kyungsoo felt his heart doubling in speed. He couldn't take his eyes off of Chanyeol's magnetizing beauty. This was wonderful. This was really big. Finally, he was able to tell Chanyeol what he thought with honesty. It was so difficult to talk with anyone when people keep running away from him all the time, so being able to speak honestly with someone like this made him feel accomplished. And more than that, Kyungsoo was incredibly happy that Chanyeol had agreed to trust his words and believe him instead of staying with the feeling of being hated by him.

"I'm thinking of planning a sort of 'test of courage' event this weeekend in the park. Since next week is our last before summer break begins and all... Will you come as well?" Chanyeol then asked, smiling at Kyungsoo. This time along with the dimple at the side of his cheek, the smile was filled with enthusiasm and confidence, as if he was trying to instill some courage into Kyungsoo so he'll accept. But more than anything, Kyungsoo was pretty dazzled from the realisation that this beautiful smile he's seeing was actually directed at him and him alone.

Wow. Chanyeol really was something special. No wonder he became Kyungsoo's idol. This was the first time Kyungsoo's being officially invited to join a group activity with his classmates by someone's free will, and not because their parents forced them to invite him along. He was pretty excited. Kyungsoo deals fairly well with fear, so it should be a pleasant experience for him. He took a breath opened his mouth to answer, but before his voice came out, another one of Chanyeol's friends came running and grabbed onto him to pull him back.  
"Come on, man!" He sounded both impatient and excited at the same time. Chanyeol just chuckled lightly and waved goodbye at Kyungsoo while being dragged back by his friend.  
"I hope I'll see you there!"

 

 

Indeed, later on as class began, Chanyeol announced the event will be taking place, and hung a sheet of paper on the classroom's notice board for the people to sign their name in order to confirm their arrival to it. Kyungsoo watched how everyone hurried to write down their name, and started building excitement within himself about knowing that he has been individually invited by Chanyeol himself to participate as well. He was so enamored that he knew he has no choice but to come.

Of course he wouldn't be able to write his name when everyone else are around, so he waited until the end of the day, after finishing his usual extra activiting of helping the teacher after school hours. He saw everyone leaving the classroom earlier, so he hoped he'd be able to sign his name in secret before leaving school as well, but when he entered the classroom he found two classmates sitting and talking right by the wall where the sheet is hanging.

He was quite surprised to see them there, not only because he didn't expect anybody to be in class, but also because these two are the students who are usually the fastest to leave school whenever possible. His well known classmates, Byun Baekhyun, and Kim Jongdae.

Guess he'll have to come to school early in the morning the next day in order to sign the sheet in private instead, before Chanyeol will take it down. He grabbed his bag and prepared to leave the classroom, but heard that the two of them were actually discussing some of the rumours about Kyungsoo, or rather, 'Doshio' being supernatural in one way or another. He also heard Jongdae jokingly suggest that he should just be the ghost himself for the test of courage, because it'll scare everyone properly and make it a memorable event.

That... Was actually an amazing idea. Kyungsoo lingered by his seat for a while, battling his own shyness, before stepping towards them and making them both jump when they realized he was there. Maybe the fact that he was tense added a few scare factors to his usual apparently scary appearance.

"U-Uhm. Will it be alright if I will play the ghost at the test of courage?" He asked them quietly. It would be so much fun, actually. He often goes for walks in the park during the evenings anyway, especially during the summer. So it would be even better if he could put his knowledge of the park's grounds into something useful for the rest of his class to enjoy. It'll definitely kick the event up a notch when it comes to the fear factor, if there's anything to judge from the way even just the two of them reacted to seeing him pop beside them like that.

There is one flaw, however.  
"Ah... But--- I'm sorry, I can't summon real ghosts." Kyungsoo held his hands together and looked down at the table between them apologetically. He could feel that Baekhyun and Jongdae were staring at him in surprise. "I can't talk talk with them either..." He admitted, fiddling with his fingers a little. "I hope that's still alright..." Kyungsoo really wanted to help somehow. Even if just a little, he knew he could make the experience better for his classmates.

"Huh~? Are you sure?" Jongdae asked him with a curious expression on his face. Kyungsoo could only nod sadly as a reply. It was probably very disappointing to hear that he is unable to do what everybody expects him to know how to do well.  
"Not at all?" Kyungsoo nodded again. He started feeling a little bad about it. Maybe if he actually had any supernatural abilities he could be of more help, and actually satisfy everybody's expectations of him. But right as he began sinking into thinking this might not go as well as he hoped, Jongdae suddenly started laughing loudly and wholly. It caught him off guard, so Kyungsoo stared at him in confusion. Why is he laughing?

"And it took you this long to admit it?!" Jongdae asked through the laughter that lasted a little longer, before he stood up and headed over to Kyungsoo with a warm smile. Both his hands were placed on Kyungsoo's shoulders to express friendliness.  
"Of course you can be the ghost! It'll be incredible!" he smiled at him reassuringly, and Kyungsoo could feel how all the nervousness that began building inside him was slowly fading and turning into excitement. Enough excitement to actually raise a small smile across his own lips.  
"Yes, I will do my best." He stood up straight and bowed formally in the pair's direction.

Then suddenly, Baekhyun approached Kyungsoo as well, biting onto his own lip with teary eyes. He placed a hand on Kyungsoo's shoulder and used the other to dramatically cover his nose.  
"Y-You're such a sweetheart...!" He mumbled through tearful of emotions. Jongdae stepped back and away from Baekhyun in weirded surprise.  
"What the... Why are you crying all of a sudden?"  
"B-Because he's so cute... And brave... It's okay, we already knew that nobody has such powers in real life... Ahhh... Adorable... You've got my heart..." Baekhyun half sobbed at him.

He was overwhelmed to say the least, from how much he had succeeded with his attempt to befriend the two of them. He certainly didn't expect to be accepted into their honest selves this quickly when all he knew was the way everybody always fears him.

Jongdae then hit Baekhyun's shoulder with a pout.  
"Are you an idiot, you're the one who nearly shits himself when there's even a glimpse of horror on TV." He rolled his eyes as Baekhyun sniffled.  
"Not true--- I mean, sure, these things freak me out, but he's so adorable, not scary at all!" Baekhyun pouted at Jongdae, then turned to Kyungsoo again and waved, still dramatically allowing his eyes to become teary again.  
"Good luck, little cute brave one..." He said, before getting pulled backwards by the collar.  
"Right. We'll see you there!" Jongdae greeted Kyungsoo goodbye and the two have left the classroom.

Kyungsoo stood there a little stunned for a while, but once a smile snuck up to his lips, he wasn't able to wipe it off. Not while signing his name at the corner of the sheet for the event, not even when he was on the way back home.

Baekhyun and Jongdae... He never really got to see the two of them often because they're barely ever in class other than to fulfill their student duty during lessons. But maybe something nice will blossom. Overcoming his shyness to speak with the two of them was successful, so he will do his best for the rest of his classmates too.

 

 

It was time for Kyungsoo to fulfill his duty.

The evening of the test of courage has arrived, and Kyungsoo, after being buzzed all day and preparing himself mentally, practicing different scary looking faces in front of the mirror, was already hiding in the thicker part of the park's forest. He was pretty excited to be useful for his class by fully embracing his 'Doshio' image and becoming the ghost everyone always expects him to be.

He wasn't sure when the test was supposed to begin, but once he heard a pair of classmates arrive in his area, he did his best to find new original ways to stand and pose so that when they see his figure looming from the shadows of their flashlight's range, they'll get scared.  
And it worked. It worked perfectly. Every pair that came by ended up running back in screams of fear. Each of them looking even more scared than the last after seeing them return all scared. Kyungsoo felt so proud for his success. He even heard one of the pairs talk about 'the ghost' that the previous couple must have mentioned. The ghost being him. He was very happy, which helped him get pretty into it as well.

It went on for quite a while. More and more pairs of classmates got spooked by the oh so evil 'Doshio' in the park's dark forest. Until eventually, Kyungsoo noticed that there was only a single person walking in his direction with a flashlight. It was a little difficult to tell who the person might be in the darkness, so Kyungsoo just stood in the usual scare spot and prepared himself to give that person a glare from hell.

The glare didn't actually come into life, as Kyungsoo blinked surprised when he realized the person appearing in front of him is none other than Chanyeol, alone. He really didn't expect Chanyeol to enter the forest alone. Was he supposed to try and scare a single person? That'd be a little too much.  
Regardless, by the time Kyungsoo could decide, Chanyeol had already jumped lightly when his flashlight met with Kyungsoo's feet. But then he seemed to have recognized Kyungsoo right away and stepped closer to him instead.

"Huh? Were you here the entire time? What are you doing here?" Chanyeol inquired immediately.  
"Yes, I'm playing the ghost so I could scare everyone." Kyungsoo explained, and raised his white sleeved hands up like a haunting ghost would. He was just wearing an oversized old thin hoodie that used to belong to his dad, so it was nothing truly scary once seen from up close.

Chanyeol stared at him for a bit, then began laughing lightly.  
"Ah man. You should have told me! I felt so awkward going in here on my own... I made sure everyone were perfectly paired up, but since you were nowhere to be seen, I was sure you decided to not show up, and had to walk in here alone instead." Chanyeol explained with a smile of relief.  
Kyungsoo was quite confused from Chanyeol's words. So he just stared up at him. What does he mean? If he made sure everybody were paired up... But Kyungsoo's absence made him go in alone... Does it mean Chanyeol was supposed to do the test of courage with... Him? As his pair?

No way. No way. Chanyeol probably just volunteered to go alone even though he's scared, just so that the other poor classmate that had to go with Kyungsoo wouldn't be left alone. Kyungsoo will never be anybody's first choice in social events. Especially not Chanyeol's.

"Why did you decide to play the ghost? How long have you been out here alone? Aren't you hot, or scared?" Chanyeol continued questioning him, sitting down on the overgrown grass behind the tree where Kyungsoo was originally waiting for the pairs to come up.  
He placed the flashlight standing upwards, so that they'll be able to see each other in the darkness caused by the thick tree tops above them. The flashlight reflected on the bottom of the leaves and branches of the trees, giving their spot an almost mystical feeling.  
"I wanted to be of use. I wanted to do it." Kyungsoo answered, sitting down beside Chanyeol and looking towards the direction people were supposed to come from.  
"I'm not scared at all. I love walking through the park at summer nights like these. The air feels nice, the breeze... The sound of the leaves rattling in the wind and the little insects, too, they're all very soothing to listen to." He explained calmly. Kyungsoo's years of loneliness have taught him that there's a comfort in silence.  
"Oh, shouldn't you go on? More classmates will arrive soon." Kyungsoo suddenly remembered the reason he came here this night to begin with. "Nah. I'm the last one." Chanyeol shrugged.

"Was I scary? Did I succeed?" Kyungsoo then asked after a few moments of silence, looking directly at Chanyeol curiously for a while. Chanyeol just stared back for some time until he suddenly jerked aside and hugged around his knees, hiding his face in them while his hand landed on top of his own head, as if to cover him even further than necessary.  
"Ahh! Don't look at me like this!" He sounded nervous, was he scared? Either way Kyungsoo got quite startled, but managed to return to his senses fast.  
"I'm sorry! I will make sure I only look at you for no longer than three seconds at a time! Ah--- I'm sorry, my eyes don't really curse people if you look at them, it's probably disappointing, but they don't do it. Uh--- should I stop looking at you? Uhm---" Kyungsoo panicked, struggling to express himself well. He mumbled his words out, hands gesturing different things with uncertaincy through his stutters.  
"It's not that." Chanyeol stopped him that easily with a soft voice. And made everything turn silent again. For longer this time.

Kyungsoo couldn't shake the nagging feeling that perhaps he had done something wrong.

They spent some more time in the silence together. It was actually quite relaxing for Kyungsoo, the contrast between having the person that represents everything he idols in people beside him, and the heated silence of the park's forest in this clear summer night. They could only hear the crickets singing around them, and the way the leaves above them danced in the light wind.

After a while, Chanyeol finally raised his face and looked at Kyungsoo, who looked back at him questioningly. Oh, right. Kyungsoo remembered his one sided three second agreement he suggested to Chanyeol, and turned to look away quickly. He heard Chanyeol laugh, then felt a gentle smack on his shoulder.  
"Hey, it's fine. Don't worry. You can look at me all you want." Chanyeol reassured him, and Kyungsoo was very relieved that he wouldn't have to uphold to his own words, because looking away from Chanyeol at any given situation is pretty tough for him as is. He turned towards Chanyeol and looked at him again.

"Thank you, for becoming a ghost just to make the event more---" Chanyeol began talking again, but out of the bushes came two figures with a flashlight, talking loudly to one another. As they've come a little closer, Kyungsoo recognized who they were. Baekhyun and Jongdae.

"Ahhh! There you are! Wheeew! The event was a total success! I'm pretty sure some of our classmates will be scarred for life!" Baekhyun called out cheerfully, walking towards the pair sitting on the ground with the flashlight between them.  
"Yeah, you've worked hard and done well!" Jongdae added with a smile and threw a cold bottle of juice at Kyungsoo's direction.

Kyungsoo successfully caught the bottle as the two of them then came closer and stood right in front of Chanyeol and himself.  
"What?! You two knew that he's going to play the ghost? Why didn't you tell me? I'm the planner of the event?!" Chanyeol rose up to his feet immediately and began chattering playfully with the two of them.

Kyungsoo just watched the three of them in complete awe. They're so kind... They brought him this juice to refresh himself on their own... Ahh... He's so grateful. They are such an amazing pair. He was so happy at that moment.  
"Baekhyun, Jongdae, thank you!" He stood up on his feet and bowed to them deeply, rising up just to see the two of them tangled in a strange physical hold with Chanyeol, and all three of them staring at him in surprise.  
The first one to change his expression was Baekhyun, whose face turned into the dramatically emotional tearful face as he freed himself from the tangle and ran towards Kyungsoo, wrapping around him and nuzzling his cheek against his head.  
"Awwww you're so, so cute and precious! Little baby boy!" Jongdae came to them right after and hit Baekhyun's shoulder, grabbing him away from Kyungsoo and waving goodbye as he dragged Baekhyun away. Leaving Chanyeol and Kyungsoo on their own again as he disappeared with fake sobbing Baekhyun into the bushes.  
Kyungsoo just stood there, holding the bottle of juice in his hands like it was the greatest treasure he'd ever gotten. His heart feeling warm and nice from the act of kindness towards him. Did it mean they were friends now? He could only wish. There's no way something as small as this would bring him high enough to be considered anywhere near a friend to them. But he was still feeling extremely grateful to them for thinking about him and bringing him this juice. It was indeed quite hot outside with a sweater like this, even though it's thin.  
"You look happy." Chanyeol then said, as if stating exactly what Kyungsoo was thinking about. He tightened the grip on the bottle and nodded.  
"It's all thanks to you." Kyungsoo replied and finally looked up at Chanyeol again.  
"Me? I haven't done anything, I didn't even kno---"  
"Because you invited me... I was able to gather the courage and do any of this." he spoke with a smile and began walking towards the path of which Baekhyun and Jongdae came from. "Ah..." He heard Chanyeol hum behind him as they left the park's forest.

 

 

The weekend had passed, and there came the next school day, the very last school day of Junior year. All of the ending ceremonies have already taken place, so today would be a final goodbye only to the students and their homeroom teacher. Kyungsoo has had such a wonderful mood through these days, thanks to being able to bond with Chanyeol a little bit, and of course, thanks to Baekhyun and Jongdae's kind gesture towards him. He's been thinking about them a lot, and remembering these little things made him very happy.

But it all faded out of his awareness when he entered the classroom and heard the way everyone were teasing Chanyeol. Calling him out and claiming that he had lost the test of courage because he didn't even complete it. Which was not true... Kyungsoo was there, he knew that Chanyeol walked the whole way on his own and reached him.

"Aaah! For losing such an easy challenge you'll have to complete a penalty!" One of the girls suggested with laughter, and Chanyeol, being as laid back as he is, just went alone and joked about it. He probably didn't really care what kind of penalty it'd be. He'd do it. If it meant it'd keep his friends amused he'd do pretty much anything. So admirable.

"Well~ Since everybody already knows that instead of completing the test you spent the night together at the park with Doshio, your penalty would be to kiss him on the lips!" Another student suggested, and it seemed to have been accepted happily by the rest of the classmates who cheered, looking forward to seeing highschool's most beloved prince Chanyeol kissing highschool's wretched cursed peasant 'Doshio'.  
"You guys bonded so much it shouldn't be a problem, right?" A different student puckered their lips out teasingly as the others laughed.

Kyungsoo froze from hearing it. Did any of them even notice that he was right at the classroom's entrance? Most likely not, their attention was directly solely on Chanyeol, who was standing near the teacher's stand. The bell hasn't rang yet, but Kyungsoo felt like something was very wrong. He really didn't mind being considered the worst of the worst. Being the punishment for other people was his general state of existence for years.

Before he could detect what it was that set him off, before anybody could do or say anything else, Chanyeol slammed both his hands on top of the teacher's table and looked at the classmates' surprised expressions with an angry frown.  
"If there's one thing I refuse to do, it's this." He said seriously. Which made everyone shut up in shock. Especially Kyungsoo, as his mind started rolling out thoughts of Chanyeol possibly being so grossed out by him that he would refuse to do such a miniscule thing with this much determination.

But yet again, before his thoughts could run too far, Chanyeol began speaking again.  
"This penalty is way too cruel. I'm the one receiving it, not him. So it would be awfully unfair and morally wrong to force myself upon him like this for no reason. It's too disrespectful." He said, with just as much seriousness as he had before.  
Unlike before though, was Kyungsoo's surfacing worry that Chanyeol's strong refusal to agree to this sort of joking punishment will result in his reputation being tarnished. It was just a simple penalty, but answering in such seriousness would cause everyone else to think he wasn't cool enough to comply to a dare he was given.

After clenching his fists and coming to a proper conclusion, Kyungsoo stepped through the circle surrounding Chanyeol, and stood beside him, turning to the class.  
"It's a misunderstanding! Please don't drop it on Chanyeol like this. I was acting as the ghost in the forest that night, and I didn't tell him even though he's the one who organized the event..." He spoke clearly and made no mistakes.

"It's true that I... That he inspires me, and makes me feel like a person... Like I exist. I appreciate his honesty and liveliness, his kindness and selflessness. I admire him so much--- Like an icon. So please don't force him to do such a thing with a nobody like me!" Kyungsoo continued, right in front of everyone. All eyes directed on him, but he didn't sway. He was confident and secure with his opinion about Chanyeol. He said the truth, and only the truth.  
This would definitely save Chanyeol from an awkward situation of having his reputation possibly harmed. The classroom was silent as everybody stared at Kyungsoo turning back and walking towards the door.

"Now if you'd excuse me... Have a nice day." He bowed to everyone deeply and exit the room. Suddenly all of the stress released in his body at once. So in breathless steps, he made his way out of the building, and out of the school's grounds as a whole. He practically ran back home before the day even began. All the while staring up at the sky and repeating to himself that he had done the right thing, and that he shouldn't have any regrets.

 

 

Summer vacation began.

Kyungsoo's parents seemed surprised to see him getting ready to leave the house so early in the morning while there's no school.  
"I've gotten the task to help out my teacher during the summer." He explained while while putting on his shoes.  
"Ah~" His mother sighed with relief, and pride. Of course they will be proud of him. He was proud too. It's just... He wished he had any other option at all.

"Take care then, honey."  
"Thanks, mom." He got greeted a goodbye, and was out under the morning sun. It will be fine. It's better to have to do this, otherwise he'd be just be spending all summer at home alone.

He tried to convince himself that it was all fine, but when he stared up at the sky on his way to school, all he could think of was the way he had greeted everybody at school goodbye before leaving the school until the end of summer. He couldnt really call it a greeting though, could he?  
Will they hate him for his confession? Will Chanyeol hate him? Was he disappointed? Disgusted? Will he ever talk with Kyungsoo again?  
He really didn't know what he'd do if Chanyeol wouldn't talk with him anymore... If he'd start to fear him like everybody else always had.

The truth is that Kyungsoo was so lonely. So, so lonely. And he was scared that even though he made this much progress in the last weeks, being active and friendly with others, it'll all be wiped out and reset back to nothingness. To the usual cold fear everybody has of him. Or even worse, it'll turn into something that will keep people even further away from him they they used to be.  
He didn't want to lose Chanyeol... Well, the little bit that he had with him. He was so wonderful. Chanyeol is his icon, his muse, the source of power that helps him push forward and encourage himself to keep going on and trying his best even when things seem impossibly hard.  
He wishes he could be a little bit more like Chanyeol. He also wished he will become a better person so that he would deserve to become someone worthy enough of having the position of being Chanyeol's friend. But now after what happened... He might have ruined it all. What will he do if Chanyeol hated him...?  
Only then, right before the turn he has to take under the turned off streetlight to get in the school's direction, he stopped walking, and realized that his vision went ablur with tears that he hasn't noticed continously streamed down his face.  
He was scared... He really didn't want to lose all that he had gained. Even if it might not seem like much, it meant the world to him. It was more than he was able to achieve in many years before. He didn't want to be all alone again... Even Junmyeon won't be there anymore after the summer.  
Helplessly Kyungsoo tried to wipe the streaming tears with his hands, and sniffle back the wetness into his nose, until he heard steps approaching him from the front.  
There, right in front of him, stood Chanyeol with hands in his pockets. He was looking directly at Kyungsoo. Now he felt embarrassed and ashamed for crying like this. Chanyeol will probably come over and scold him, tell him he will never forgive him for what he said.

Hah, it was almost like he actually has supernatural powers, his prediction came true. At least a part of it. Chanyeol started approaching him, stopping really close up front. He couldn't read Chanyeol's expression at all.  
"This is from the rest of the class, they said they are sorry. And they hope you can forgive them." Chanyeol said in a quiet tone. He grabbed onto Kyungsoo's hand gently, and held his palm upwards. Then he took out a small package of candies from his pocket, and placed it in Kyungsoo's held out palm gently.

Quietly, Kyungsoo stared at it, feeling relieved, but not a whole lot. He noticed that there was a little note on the candy bag saying

[ 'We apologize, please have a good summer! - Your classmates.' ]

Ah... That's actually sweet of them.  
"Oh... Thank you. I'm sorry, you had to come all the way here to give this to me, it must have been a burden. I caused you a lot of trouble." Kyungsoo quickly said, planning to bow towards him, but Chanyeol placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled down at him gently.  
"What are you saying? I'm here to help the teacher, remember? I knew you would come as well. I'm glad that you did. I wanted to thank you for your words back in class..." He began talking, rubbing the back of his head a little.  
"I am very honored, and... Flattered, to be an inspiration to you." Chanyeol admitted with a small smile. "But I have a request in return." Kyungsoo's eyes widened a bit as he looked up at Chanyeol curiously, feeling a whole lot relieved now that he knew no hatred was involved. But mostly, he was intrigued. What could Chanyeol possibly want from Kyungsoo in return for admiring him?  
"Will you teach me how to be as brave as you? Like when you spoke in front of everyone in class? We have all summer for that and I'd love to spend it with you. So I hope you could teach me well!" Chanyeol smiled wider and smacked both his hands together into a begging gesture. He bowed lightly after finishing to word his request, too. A breeze of wind brushed his hair sideways slowly, and Kyungsoo couldn't help but feel he was about to get himself into something he wouldn't be able to turn back from.

Somehow, that was kind of exciting.  
After a lengthy while of silence topped with a single sniffle, Kyungsoo's wet eyes turned into shiny crescents as he began laughing and nodding at Chanyeol's request. How the hell does someone like Chanyeol think that Kyungsoo is anywhere near brave? He didn't know. But hell, how can anybody say no to such a face.  
"Okay." He said, watching the way Chanyeol's eyes began shining towards him with warmth.

Suddenly, summer didn't seem to feel so lonely anymore.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

Summer vacation was over before Kyungsoo could notice.

He had a surprisingly great summer. The best summer of his life, actually. He had so much to do, and so much to think about even when he wasn't doing anything important in particular. He didn't feel remotely bored even once. Coming to school every other day during the summer was almost a theraputic experience for him. Mostly because Kyungsoo enjoys and appreciates the silence.

It was very uncomfortably hot, but then again, it was so peaceful and quiet there with no other students. Only a few teachers were around, his own teacher, himself, and... Chanyeol.   
The two of them came to school twice a week for the entirety of these two vacation months. They helped transporting books from one place to another around the school, making photocopies of sheets for next year's juniors, repainting some walls, and even fixing a few windows that get opened and closed often during the year. It was a strange job. Especially because neither of them got paid for any of their efforts with money.

Alas, their time hasn't gone to waste, at least for Kyungsoo. Because he got paid with his one and only icon's company. After every day of work the two of them would sit down in the garden and eat their lunch boxes together. They talked about the weather, their families, their plans, their shared love for music, tips and tricks to study, movies, and a thousand other things that Kyungsoo was more than happy to learn.

Pretty early on, after barely three times they've worked at the school in the morning, Chanyeol asked Kyungsoo out for a movie. Of course, it wasn't meant to be an actual date or anything like that. But even shy and nervous Kyungsoo couldn't hold against Chanyeol's charming dimpled smile when he asked if they could go watch a new movie that came out together when they're done. Kyungsoo did mention that he's interested in the movie, but he certainly didn't expect to be whipped into actually watching it in the cinema with someone else.

After years of going to the cinema alone, it was quite an adventure.

That same day as they were done with the job at school, with no stop, they made it to their local mall where the cinema is located. With not much energy left after their school duty, they ate a simple lunch at one of the takoyaki stands in the mall's food court, then purchased their movie tickets. Except, they had at least a whole hour to wait until the movie will screen.

Chanyeol seemed a little lost when it came to spending the time around, so Kyungsoo felt lucky he was able to show him one of his most incredible skills. Occupying himself on his own. Being surrounded by people all the time, Kyungsoo kind of expected that Chanyeol wouldn't be too knowledgable when it comes to spending time alone. With a smile, he led the two of them around the mall. Stopping in front of fun little activities like a game that takes one's picture and distorts it in funny ways, or a game that depends on movement detection, the mall is filled with things Kyungsoo is used to playing whenever he comes to watch a movie alone.

He was pretty pleased with the fact that it seemed like Chanyeol had fun. Before the movie began, they made their way to the snack store before entering their theatre. Now, Kyungsoo knows very well that any snacks there are not healthy. But he can't help himself. He purchased himself nachos, and sprite.   
"Cheese sauce~ Cheese sauce~" He hummed as the two have made their way to their seats. Only then he found out that Chanyeol had ordered exactly the same as him.

Maybe Chanyeol spends so much time with people that he doesn't know what else to get, since there's no way that they have such similar taste in this as well. Realizing they both enjoy the same music was already enough of a shock for Kyungsoo.

He was sure he'd be nervous to watch anything with Chanyeol sitting beside him, he felt the stress creeping up on him when the commercials began. But soon after, he got pretty hooked in the movie, and completely forgot that anyone came there with him at all. Chanyeol disappeared from his thoughts for these mere two hours.

But he came right back when Kyungsoo turned and saw him smile so warmly in his direction. Which brought back all of his shyness and stressed fear of being at the center of attention in Chanyeol's eyes.

"It was fun! I really enjoyed. A few scenes could have been done better, but I got pretty immersed in the movie... I feel a little bad, I forgot you were there." Chanyeol admitted as they walked out of the theatre, throwing the leftovers of their nachos away.   
"Me too!" Kyungsoo responded quickly, resulting in the two of them staring at each other. Chanyeol then began laughing softly.   
"I'd love to do this again. With a different movie of course!" This time Kyungsoo couldn't respond as quickly, because he felt a little overwhelmed from the fact that Chanyeol actually said that. Does that mean he did alright? He's incredibly happy though.

They ended up going to three more movies together until the vacation ended. Throughout these two months, they went to watch four movies in the theatre together. Kyungsoo was in bliss. It was incredible.

Chanyeol was so amazing, and the fact that he could easily understand Kyungsoo and the way he feels instead of getting scared like everyone else, helped Kyungsoo open up even more towards him. The constant shyness and nervousness still lingered above his head like a cloud of unexplained emotions that aren't quite the same as his general admiration towards Chanyeol as a role model, though, but it was alright because with a single smile Chanyeol could make everything else in the world disappear for a moment.

For the last week of the vacation they didn't need to come to school anymore, so they haven't spoken to each other. But Kyungsoo knew that this summer was the best he's ever had.

School began again, and the first week has been pretty confusing and slightly chaotic. Nothing out of the ordinary. It's usually like that. So there was no surprise there. However, one thing changed drastically for Kyungsoo. Every morning when one of them arrived to class, Chanyeol would greet him with a dimple smiled 'Good morning' before turning back to the classroom business he's always surrounded with. Really, it was way more than enough for Kyungsoo to remain above water with happiness.

 

 

"Don't forget your umbrella today!" Kyungsoo's mom called at him as he put on his shoes to leave. "Okay, thanks mom!"

Little drops kept tapping on the plastic of the black umbrella above his head. Kyungsoo doesn't really like the rain that much. Because it usually gives a feeling of vacancy. The streets are nearly empty, everyone are so distanced from each other, being busy taking cover under their own personal umbrellas instead of making eye contact or seeing the sky. Something about the sun missing just felt foreign, even if these are just the usual summer rains.

As he made his way to school, Kyungsoo noticed a carton box stranded at the side of the street, right under the light rain. There was nobody around, but as he stepped closer, he noticed a note was attached to it.

[ 'Please adopt me.' ]

Was written on it, and inside rested a small fluffy kitten curled in itself and shivering from the wetness of the rain.

Kyungsoo's heart came out to the little fella. He leaned down and placed his own umbrella down on the pavement, in an angle that will cover the box from the rain.   
"I hope someone nice will adopt you." He whispered to the kitten before going on his way towards school with the rain now slowly dripping down directly on him and drenching him. It's not that much of an issue for his health, since it's warm, as much as it is for his school uniform.

By the time he made it to school he was already soaking wet. Water dripping down from a few strands of his hair, drabbling over his face and making him look even more ghostly than normal. When he greeted the people good morning like he always does in an attempt to becomne friendly with his schoolmates, they showed strong signs of fear, even more than usual. Staying away from him.

Hah, he can't blame them. It really is funny. He's dripping wet, leaving a trail of water behind him as he walks the halls, he reminded himself of a ghost too. But he will still try his best and approach people in the future. One rainy day wouldn't make him give up.

When he arrived to class he realized his only mean of drying up will be provided by his trusty yet tiny handkerchief, so all he could do was his best to try and dry himself up with it. At least his face would do, right? The hair will dry on its own during the day eventually.

Shortly after, Chanyeol entered the class, also soaking wet just like Kyungsoo. Except at the moment he entered, a bunch of friends and classmates gathered around him. Kyungsoo felt a sense of pride in how incredible Chanyeol is. Having so many people care this much about his safety. He watched how Chanyeol pulled out his own towel and attempted to dry out. But then, by accident, they made eye contact, and Kyungsoo froze in his spot motionless.

After a moment of staring at each other Chanyeol simply walked towards him, leaving the group that gathered around him behind as if they didn't exist, and examined him from head to toe with his eyes.

"What is this, how did you get drenched as well? Did you forget your umbrella?" Chanyeol asked with a hint of worry. Kyungsoo shook his head and wiped a single water drop from his cheek. He would have explained, but isn't it super embarrassing to admit he had given his umbrella to a little cat in a box?

"Ah.. what about you?" He asks instead. Chanyeol smiles goofily, his dimple sneaking on his cheek playfully. "I forgot mine." He said with a grin, but then seemed curious.   
"Do you have your sports uniform to change into?" He asked instead, and ksoo then realized that this might have been a great idea to bring these clothes with him next time there's supposed to be rain pouring on a school day.

Out of the blue, suddenly Chanyeol called out to Baekhyun who was sitting together with jongdae as they are watching a video on their phone together.   
"Baekhyun!" The other raises his head curiously. "Sup?"  
"Do you have your sports uniform here?" Baekhyun thought for a little while, then got up. "Pretty sure I should have it in my locker."  
"Could you lend them to him for today?" Chanyeol asked. Kyungsoo blinked in surprise. Huh? Was chanyeol actually arranging this for his sake?

His question got answered when he noticed Chanyeol's finger being pointed at him as he spoke to Baekhyun.  
Baekhyun smiled and nodded in approval, standing up.   
"Sure!" As he opened his locker at the back of the classroom. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo approached him, and he placed the folded clean uniform in his hands. It smelled surprisingly fresh and clean, so Kyungsoo couldn't help but feel very relieved he wouldn't be forced to wear someone's sweaty uniform.   
"Ah, thank you very much!" He quickly bowed, and as he turned around to leave the classrom and go switch his clothes, he felt something soft land on top of his wet head.

"It might be a little wet cause I used it as well, but it must be better than a small handkerchief, right?" Chanyeol said while smiling down to him, his hand resting on his towel that is now placed on top of ksoo's head. Ah... It's warm. And soft. Kyungsoo felt that his heart was growing warmer and warmer with veneration and gratefulness. He's so happy and lucky to have such wonderful kind people as his classmates. Or even maybe even future friends. He hoped it'll turn to friends one day. They are so simply amazing.   
"Thank you." He nodded, then headed out of the class to change in the toilets.

 

 

After changing, he was glad that the clothes actually fit him pretty well even though they're a bit too big. Baekhyun isn't as similar to him in size as he thought. When standing in front of the mirror he did his best to use the towel he received from Chanyeol to dry his hair.

However suddenly he smelled a whiff of it and his hands froze. He brought the towel to his nose and sniffed it again, his heart warming up in his chest. It smelled incredible. It smells really, really good. Like clean laundry and... Like Chanyeol. Like his shampoo perhaps more accurately. And it was great. With adoration to the smell Kyungsoo wrapped the towel around his head like a grandmother would, and headed back to class with the scent constantly going up his nose relaxing his mind through the halls.

Kyungsoo was worried that after the summer spent with him, Chanyeol will return to being quite distant towards him like it was before they got to know each other over the summer, but knowing that he will go as far as he did today for his sake made him feel bad for even doubting how good of a person Chanyeol truly is.

His kindness knows no limits, and he treated Kyungsoo with nothing but respect and gentleness ever since the first day of highschool last year. He pays attention to the little details, and goes out of his way, just like with this towel, to make sure Kyungsoo is alright. This is far beyond anything anyone has ever done for him. And it only increases just how deeply Kyungsoo percieves Chanyeol's part in his life.

Chanyeol hasn't asked for his towel even once. So Kyungsoo allowed himself to wear it proudly around his neck. At the end of the day though, to pay back for the kindness of Chanyeol's towel and Baekhyun lending him his sports uniform, Kyungsoo had bought the two of them, and Jongdae, some juice from the vending machine he knows they love getting juice from in school. He placed them on their tables before they returned to grab their bags, and left the classroom, hoping that they'd be able to enjoy the drinks for their good deeds.

But before he could even walk away far enough, he heard Chanyeol call out his name behind him.   
"Hey, is this from you?" He asked. Kyungsoo quickly turned in surprise, and couldn't do much but nod in reply, quite shyly, considering Chanyeol's towel was still wrapped around his neck.

"Yes, thank you for the towel..."He mumbled as Chanyeol approached him.   
"Oh... Thank god it's from you..." Chanyeol's voice sounded relieved. Kyungsoo looked up at him, only to see him staring at the juice, looking almost shy himself.   
"I dont know how awful it would make you feel if I asked it, and it wasn't you... You know. Sometimes I say things, or act without thinking..." He admitted, then smiled at Kyungsoo apologetically. "For a moment I thought even giving you the towel would be crossing the line." he laughed at it. Well, more like at himself, sounding unexpectedly nervous.

Kyungsoo stared up at him quietly, then shook his head.   
"I'm very grateful, you really saved me there." he smiles at Chanyeol gently and thankfully, feeling heat slowly spread on his cheeks.   
"Is that milk?" Chanyeol glanced down at the bottle Kyungsoo was holding in his hands, and Kyungsoo stared down at it too, as if surprised he had milk himself. He nearly forgot about the fact he's holding anything in his hands at all while talking with Chanyeol.

"Ah, yes, it's for the cat."  
"Oh! You like cats? I saw a cat today! It was a stray though. I played with it under the rain." Chanyeol said enthusiastically.   
"A stray...? You mean the one in the box?" Kyungsoo asked, and the two of them blinked at each other, realizing they are talking about the exact same cat.

They decided they'd pay it a visit, and shortly after, they arrived at the box in the street. It's no longer raining like it did in the morning, so luckily the fact that Kyungsoo didn't have his umbrella with him was no burden on them on the way.

"Aaah~ So this is your umbrella. That's why you came to school drenched." Chanyeol exclaimed as he leaned down towards the box. The kitten inside began tumbling its way towards him from within.   
"This is embarrassing." Kyungsoo mumbled quietly as he watched the cat.   
"Yeah, kind of... Your name is even written on it." Chanyeol said and showed the umbrella to him. Kyungsoo couldn't bear to face him after this discovery, so he opened the milk bottle and poured it out into the cap for the cat to drink for a while. The two of them just appreciated this wholesome feeling of a tiny kitten drinking milk together in silence, until it was done and Chanyeol picked it in his large hands.   
"That's because I've had it since elementary school..." Kyungsoo mumbled quietly regarding the umbrella, although clearly the subject was no longer interesting. But he shut up when he got too focused in watching the way Chanyeol ever so gently stroked the kitten's fur and allowed it to nuzzle against his face.

"Mind if I take him? I have a friend who'd love to take good care of him!" Chanyeol said cheerfully, and Kyungsoo wasn't sure if he was blinded by Chanyeol's gorgeous smile or by the setting sun shining behind him. Either way, his heart filled with true joy as he nodded with excitement at the offer. It's not like the kitten belonged to him in the first place. But he appreciated Chanyeol's cautiousness.

Chanyeol laughed lightly from the kitten's paws tickling his neck and leaned in to kneel next to Kyungsoo.   
"Hey little one, give him some love as well, his umbrella protected you from the rain all day!" He encouraged the little kitten to interact with Kyungsoo, but it didn't seem to be interested.

"Come on, if you like me this much then you must like the people I'm close with, too." Chanyeol pouted at the kitten like a child before sliding the tip of his finger over its nose. Huh...? The people he's close with...? Does it mean Chanyeol considers Kyungsoo someone close?

It's strange. Because when Chanyeol said it, Kyungsoo was able to believe it. Normally he would have never believed himself to be anywhere near being considered close to Chanyeol. But he has always been like this. Spreading positivity around him towards everyone who even as much as looks in his direction. Chanyeol simply doesn't have any walls between himself and others. He emits so much love, it's no wonder he's always surrounded by people.

Kyungsoo's heart was going to burst in a second, if it wasn't for the smile Chanyeol shot him before standing back up on his feet with the kitten held warmly against his chest. He handed Kyungsoo the umbrella.   
"I'll get this one to his new home. See you tomorrow?"   
"Ah, yes. Thank you again, for today. For the towel." Kyungsoo's muse will always remain being Chanyeol. He wished he could be like him, and go with the flow instead of getting stuck behind the wall separating him from other people. He will break down that wall, little by little, as long as he continues watching Chanyeol grow more and more.

"Uhm, if it's not too much trouble, will I be able to see him again?" Kyungsoo asked right as they were about to part ways at the end of the street. Chanyeol looked at him for a bit and began pouting.   
"Just the kitten...? What about me?" He asked childishly and shut his eyes, turning to look away like a snob.

Caught off guard by the question, Kyungsoo quickly stiffened in reply.   
"Y-You too! Of course!" Chanyeol opened one suspecting eye towards him, making his heart tremble in his chest, before his expression shifted into an amused smile combined with a healthy laughter.   
"Alright then, we have a deal." He looked extremely satisfied with himself as they've waved each other goodbye.

It's so strange really. How after they parted, Kyungsoo suddenly realized that only with Chanyeol... It feels like there is no wall. Chanyeol somehow just gets him. He understands him without judgement, without being swayed by rumours or by how awkward and weird Kyungsoo is compared to him. He's so happy, and thankful to him for that.

He hoped that being treated like a person would actually allow him to begin feeling like a real person, and not like the cursed ghost everyone had always expected him to be.

 

 

A few days after the rainy incident, Kyungsoo got to class with some homemade cookies split into three different little packs in hig bag, so that he could give them to Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and Jongdae for their help. He had also brought the towel and the sports uniform back. All clean after getting through the washing machine, of course. While sitting in his seat he contemplated whether or not he should step up and simply hand it to them, or wait until the end of the day and place it on their tables like he did with the juice the day he was given these items.

On one hand, giving it to them means there is a chance he will be rejected, which is something he is used to, but it might cause trouble for them to be seen given cookies by him. Ah, this must be the bad choice, it'll tarnish their reputation whether they accept or refuse him. So the safer bet is to wait until everyone else are gone and place it on their tables in a secretive manner. No damage done, right? That'd be way better for everyone involved.

He sunk in his own mind before being startled by chanyeol's voice coming behind him in class.  
"Good morning!"   
"M-Morning."   
"The kitten has been warmly welcomed into his new home!" Chanyeol announced cheerfully before being called by one of his friends. "Well, catch you later." He nodded at Kyungsoo and moved on to his group of friends. Kyungsoo felt very relieved. The kitten is safe, he made the right decision with the cookies, they totally deserve them, it'll be just fine.

Since today's first lesson isn't with their homeroom teacher, Kyungsoo switched his seat to sit at the back of the class and allow the students from all classes of his grade enter the class and take their seat for the lesson to begin. While placing his books on his assigned table for the lesson he saw two classmates going towards his usual table at the front.

"I guess I'll take this table." One says.   
"Really? At the front of the class? Don't you remember who's table this is?" The other replies, looking shocked.   
"Don't tell me--!"   
"Yes, Doshio's!" The girl jumped from the seat with a small shriek. "I've heard that the last time someone sat there, they got sick for a week!" They continue the mumble to themselves. But their words echoed loudly in Kyungsoo's head. That... All of this is not true. He stood up, and slowly approached the table in question. The two classmates froze at his arrival.

"U-Uhm... This table is perfectly fine... It's clean, I make sure it stays clean all the time. I... I actually can't really curse people or make them sick, it's safe to sit here. So..." He began explaining quietly, fiddling with his own fingers nervously as he spoke. It took a lot out of him to convince himself to approach people like this. Except by the time he raised his head to see their reaction, nobody was there. They must have left while he was explaining. Well, that's fine. There's always next time... He will tell them another time that this table is completely fine. Things can't just change so quickly after all.

Since this is the beginning of a new year, when they have homeroom class, the teacher announces that they are allowed to change their seats for the rest of the year, as long as they do it in an orderly manner and not make too much noise in the process. But at the moment he left the classroom everything turned chaotic and noisy anyway.

Kyungsoo was pretty thrilled to change seats. Although he heard some people mentioning his name from the back from the class, he didnt really pay attention to it. All he could think about was how he hoped he will be able to befriend his surrounding desk mates that will be seated around his new spot in class.

The class president Seungwan decided that the best and fairest way to choose their tables would be by a raffle. On the chalkboard, she and her friend and helper Seulgi have drawn the view of the classroom from above, and numbered each of the seats in a random order. Then an equal amount of numbered notes were folded neatly and placed in a bowl. Each of the students would come and pick out a number, then get to their table according to the order drawn on the chalkboard.

Kyungsoo was very excited when the bowl with the notes of all the seats in the class was brought to the teacher's table. This will be his chance to open a new year with luck.

Since he sits at the front of the class, he was the first to pull out a note and get his new assigned seat. And he really was looking forward to it... Except, when he stood there, his hand reaching the bowl of notes, he felt a strong sense of dread and discomfort, maybe even worry. Everyone were staring at him. There was so much tension in the air that it made him feel nervous and stressed rather than anything related to anticipation like he had hoped.

He pulled out his seat number and stood aside waiting for the rest. It was, cool, but a little lonely, to see how the groups of friends in the class gathered together and began discussing their seats. Some even tried to exchange their seats with other students in class just so they could sit with their friends. He hoped that everybody got the seat they wished for, since he will try his best to make friends with his desk mates no matter where he ends up.

Then, the numbered seats were revealed on the board, and Kyungsoo found out that he will sit at the back of the class this year. Which is fine, really. That way he will be able to talk with more people. Sitting with his back to everyone else last year prevented him from doing so during lessons. Because turning backwards to talk is too obvious and risky. So this will be his chance.

Somehow, even though nobody had asked, it seemed that the whole class knew which number Kyungsoo had gotten. He heard them discussing within themselves which students will be sitting around him at the back. Oh, this is exciting! Do they actually care about it because they wish to sit next to him as well?

"Phew! Lucky, it isn't me!" One guy said with a victorious grin.   
"Eh, I'm really worried about the one that'll be sitting right beside him. They'll definitely get hurt." A girl replied with a sad expression.   
"Right?! It's like last year all over again, except at the back! I wonder who will break their bones this time after talking with him..." Another girl replied, sounding scared.   
"Oh wow, I nearly forgot about that curse..."

Ah. So they care more about who's not sitting next to Kyungsoo than the other way around. That... That kind of hurt. Especially since he was right there, and could hear everything they were saying clearly. He... He has to try his best this year. He wanted the people who sit near him to enjoy his company, not fear him this much... He already explained that he can't really cast curses upon people. He could only hope that next year he will be able to say 'I'm happy I got this seat!' to someone. Or exchange seats to sit next to someone by choice, or... Anything. He will do his best.

 

 

"Sorry! But whoever got number twelve! I'm taking your seat!" A loud voice pierced the tense air in the classroom right after Kyungsoo finally sat down at his new spot. Gasps echoed in the room and murmurs began spreading as Chanyeol stepped out from the cloud of students at the front, and made his way towards the table located right next to Kyungsoo's. He pulled the chair back dramatically loud, slumped into his seat and crossed his arms, clicking his tongue before turning towards Kyungsoo with a smile.

"Looks like I'll be sitting next to you this year. Let's do our best!" He hummed cheerfully, leaving the entire class, and especially Kyungsoo, astonished by his actions and words.

It was dead silent afterwards, until Jongdae let out a long whiny yawn and threw his note up in the air.   
"Guess my seat is decided then!" He claimed, and slid himself into the spot available in front of Kyungsoo with a wide pleased smile. Further silence spread in the room.

"Baekhyun, it's your tur---" Seulgi, holding the bowl of notes began, but Baekhyun dramatically stood up, the dragging of the chair on the floor made an awful loud noise.   
"No thanks!" He shouted and strutted towards the nearest seat around, right next to Jongdae, in front of Chanyeol.

Last but not least, silent and cool looking Sehun, the youngest student in their class, made his way to the single most cornered table behind Kyungsoo, at the absolute back of the class, and sat down, staring out of the window quietly. Kyungsoo truly was caught off guard. He stared at him for several seconds, until the other made eye contact with him and hummed in acceptance, or approval, or both, eyes back on the window right after again.

Now the five of them occupy the entire back corner of the classroom by the windows. It was silent for a while as the other students stared at them, but slowly the tension began fading away as the rest of the classmates started discussing the other sitting spots with each other. Some of them looking sad and disappointed that Chanyeol's seat will not be at the center of the classroom like last year, where he could have been the center of attention, as well. And easily accessible during lessons.

Kyungsoo was pretty overwhelmed then. Sitting at the back corner of the class, Chanyeol right beside him, and his two other closest classmates around him as well. Creating almost like a wall of protection around him. He couldn't really comprehand the meaning of it all.

It took him several moments to really grasp the depth of the situation, but as he did, his heart began speeding out of control inside his chest. His mind was spiraling into chaos of apprectiation, gratitude, and warmth, which reminded him of his main purpose for today.

With shaking hands he pulled out the three little packs of cookies from his bag.   
"U-Uhm, as thanks for all you've done I... I brought these cookies..." He mumbled and handed each one of the trio within his range a pack. While trying to contain himself and his heart, he dug back into the bag with his hand again.   
"Also, I will bring you back the ite---"   
"OH!" Chanyeol suddenly exclaimed, surprising everyone in class. "These are really good!" He turned to Kyungsoo with shiny eyes while munching on one of the cookies. Kyungsoo's mouth was about to open to thank him, but before he could make a sound he heard the other two packs being fiddled with.

"Thank you, I don't even know why I got one, but still!" Jongdae chimed happily towards him. While Baekhyun gave him a bit of a sharp suspecting look.   
"Did you make them yourself?" He asked in a low voice.   
"Y-Yes." Kyungsoo replied, slightly nervous, but was easily back to his previous state as he saw the way Baekhyun's face turned into another one of his dramatic crying faces.

"Aaaaahhh! I can't believe it! You're so sweet! This is the first time anyone has given me home made cookies!" He began fake crying loudly, but stopped shortly after to curse at Jongdae after getting kicked in the shin.

This... Is this what true happiness feels like? Kyungsoo couldn't do anything but sit there stunned with awe, with his heart pumping fast from how happy he was that these people have gone as far as this for his sake. Coming to sit around him, he really felt safe. He was so overwhelmed he couldn't focus for the rest of the day. Especially when he noticed that Chanyeol was looking at him with a gentle smile every once in a while.

Maybe the reason he didn't feel like there's a wall between him and Chanyeol, was because that wall disappeared and crumbled out of existence every single time Chanyeol shined his beautiful smile upon him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol called out to him as they parted ways outside of the school's gate. He was about to turn around and leave with a bunch of his friends. Kyungsoo looked at his back, walking away towards his group of friends that was waiting for him at the edge of the street.

It sounded beautiful. It sounded lovely, the way Chanyel said his real name. He suddenly really liked his name. It felt so new and refreshing to hear anyone say his name at all, but the fact that Chanyeol was the first one to crash through the stereotype and grace his ears by calling his name, made his heart flutter in his chest.

This is like a dream. This whole day felt like it was some weirdly happy dream that he will wake up from the very next morning and everything would be back to how it was yesterday. He was dazed as he waved goodbye at his new desk mate, and continued walking back home on his own, staring at the sky, and repeating Chanyeol's voice in his head.

Was it greedy of him to want to hear Chanyeol say his name again?

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 

"Sup." One student said to the other as they arrived to class   
"Hey, morning." another said, and soon the entire class fills with Kyungsoo's classmates greeting each other as they settle in their little gathering spots around the classroom. Kyungsoo, of course, was sitting quietly in his spot, preparing for the day. Isolated.

"Good morning~" A familiar voice came in his direction. Baekhyun and Jongdae walked into class and made their way towards their own seats.   
"Baekhyun, Jongdae... Good morning." Kyungsoo replied, heart pumping only slightly with light excitement. This is something he'd always wished for. Someone greeting him as they entered class, him and only him specifically. He's so happy.

But it seems that Baekhyun and Jongdae found it to be very amusing, perhaps because they didn't really understand how deeply meaningful it was for him at this point. The two stood by his table and stared at him for a while with entertained smiles. Why are they staring?  
"Is there something on my face...?" Kyungsoo then asks, readying his hand to grab whatever it may be away. But instead Baekhyun smiles widely and begins chuckling.   
"What's with that face? You look so angry!" He said, receiving a smack to the back of his head by Jongdae.

"A-Ah, sorry, I was just happy..." Kyungsoo admitted and looked down at his table unsure.  
"What's with that, if you're happy just smile!" Jongdae explained instead. And in an attempt to please the crowd, Kyungsoo shifted his face into a smile. Except with his way of staring at people due to his weak eyesight, and the fact that it was slightly forced, it must have looked pretty bad, since the two of them exchanged a glance before smiling at him apologetically.  
"Well, you dont have to smile if you dont want to---... Haha..." Kyungsoo quietly retrieved his smile and looked at the two of them sitting down around him instead.

Just then, the classroom's door opened again, and there stood Chanyeol, huffing after what looks like an intense short workout, which was funny especially because Sehun stepped into the classroom right behind him looking completely unphased.   
"Whaaa, barely made it in time...." Chanyeol sighed relieved, and at least half the class began chuckling and encouraging him for making it.

Kyungsoo will need some time to get used to the fact that Chanyeol is actually sitting right beside him in class. He almost had a small shock when he realized Chanyeol was settling into that seat and smiling at him.

"Good morning." The two chanted towards each other at the same time. Chanyeol happily, and Kyungsoo nervously. It made him feel a little buffled for a second.   
"Hey, you! Say good morning too!" Chanyeol then called out towards Sehun.

Kyungsoo quickly turned around to look at him. Surprisingly, Sehun seems to have complied, but instead he hits Kyungsoo with an unexpected question.   
"What is your name?"   
"Hey! What do you mean what's his name?! Shouldn't you know the names of your classmates by now?!" Baekhyun barked back at him instantly before pouting bitterly.   
"It's okay--! I'm do Kyungsoo." Kyungsoo quickly calmed the spirits and bowed his head lightly.  
"I'm Oh Sehun." Sehun hummed with an understanding nod, then rested his head on his palm on top of the table and stared out the window.

This was so new, and strange, how much his morning had changed and it has only been a day after Chanyeol and everyone else moved to sit around him in class. It felt like he was living a completely differet life. Classmates actually interacting with him is so refreshing and... Fun. It was really fun to be surrounded by people he wasnt afraid to speak with. And all of this was thanks to Chanyeol's brave choice of moving to sit beside him. How kind can he be... How thankful and happy Kyungsoo was right now.

"Listen, my friend who adopted the little kitten we found asked me to help him find a name for him... But I can't think of anything good. Do you have any ideas?" Chanyeol then began talking to him with a small smile, fiddling with a few strands of hair between his fingers. Oh wow. Did he really ask Kyungsoo such an important question? Such a big thing that will influence the life of someonen else? It really caught him unexpectedly, since when do any of his thoughts matter? Since when does anybody ask him for his opinion about anything at all? Chanyeol really is the best person in the whole world. "Uhmm..."

"Vivi." Sehun suddenly said. Both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo turned around to look at him, and he was just staring back at them quietly, as if it was completely obvious that he was somehow a part of this conversation.   
"What kind of name is that... Plus, isn't that the name of your own dog?" Chanyeol's face puckered into a pout as his eyebrows curved inwards like a child.   
"Yes." Sehun replied shamelessly, leaving the two silenced for a bit before Chanyeol sighed and rubbed his head.

"Why would someone name their pet after your pet?" It looked like Sehun's gears of thoughts began spinning in his brain from the way his expression turned into confusion, and then confidence.   
"Because Vivi is an inspiration, a role model, a perfect being---"   
"Yeah, yeah we heard you." Chanyeol cut him off. Not before Kyungsoo managed to sneak a chuckle under his breath though. The way Sehun described his dog sounded like the way Kyungsoo would describe Chanyeol.

Maybe Chanyeol was more of a puppy than he realized. Kyungsoo's imagination took the liberty to insert new images into his head. As class proceeded, he kept looking at Chanyeol's side profile, like he always does, except this time he had imagined him with a wagging dog tail and a pair furred ears. He could see it so vividly he had to avert his eyes and cover his face a little from getting himself exposed. It was... So cute. He's a puppy. Chanyeol definitely is a puppy.

 

 

At the end of the lesson the teacher asks for volunteers to complete yet another task after school ends. Something about filling out papers, Kyungsoo didn't pay too much attention to it, with his mind occupied in just how much of an adorable puppy Chanyeol is.

But the classroom went into chaos with everyone complaining that they didn't want to do it, and trying to convince the teacher that it was part of their job to do the task. Kyungsoo realized that this was another gifted chance to become useful for them once again. He'd hate it if any of his classmates had to suffer doing something they didn't like.

It'd be the best if he'll do it himself and provide help for both the teacher and students. So he volunteered to take the task by raising his hand and mumbling a quiet "I'll do it." The other students were appeased, but the teacher didn't look pleased with it.   
"Thank you, but I'd like to see some spirit of helpfulness coming from students who aren't only you this year." The teacher said in a heavily judgemental tone, glancing over the other students' faces to spot a valid target to choose instead.

Kyungsoo couldn't believe it. After Chanyeol mentioned that fact last year, it seemed that even the teachers have taken that fact in consideration. It was true that it might seem unfair, since Kyungsoo always ended up doing these tasks. But without doing them... What other way will he able to become useful to his classmates?

He can't see ghosts, he can't talk to supernatual beings, he's unable to curse anyone... He isn't as incredible as everyone thinks, and it'd be very disappointing if he wouldn't make up for it by doing other things. Like these tasks.

The classroom was as silent as a classroom can become, Kyungsoo could see the students in the rows in front of him fidgeting uncomfortably, avoiding making eye contact with their teacher in fear of being elected.   
"Well, since we're a fair class, I'll be choosing one of you at random, unless someone else offers to help." The teacher claimed. Resulting in many murmurs spreading between desks.

Kyungsoo started feeling awfully sad and disappointed in himself, that this chance might be taken away from him, and he wouldn't be able to be useful for his classmates. So in a last attempt to redeem his value points in his classmates' eyes, he started raising his hand again. Please, the teacher should just let him do it. It isn't even that awful. It'll benefit everyone if only---

Another hand raised up within his field of view, and the whole class reacted with a mixture between gasps of surprise and a sigh of relief.

It was Chanyeol's hand up in the air, looking calm and determined.   
"I'll help. It'll be done faster with two people anyway." He said and leaned back in his seat. Does Chanyeol know how important these tasks are to Kyungsoo? Is he trying to convince the teacher to still allow Kyungsoo to take a part of them? Or is there another reason? Kyungsoo wasn't sure, but he was nonetheless surprised.

Quickly after, he heard how people in the class began half heartedly murmuring as well.   
"Hey... If Chanyeol does it I don't mind helping too..."   
"Yeah, I'll do it as well."  
"I can give a hand if it's needed." Nearly the entire classroom started selflessly offering their help. Kyungsoo was shocked by how quickly everybody changed their minds. Suddenly they all want to do it? They were so adamant with their stance against it before. But just because Chanyeol said he'd do it, they all suddenly want to be a part as well? That's the perfect example of the good influence Chanyeol has on people right there, he's seriously amazing.

"You'll do it with me then?" Chanyeol turned to him, looking serious. Although so many people around them have offered their help, he chose to ask Kyungsoo to be a part of this with him. Somehow, it became way more dramatic than Kyungsoo had anticipated. He nodded quickly.  
"Yes." And all Chanyeol did was smile back widely, with satisfaction. Kyungsoo felt like he's living somebody else's life from how good this day is going so far.

Now won't only will he get to be of use for his classmates and take part in completing the task given, but he'd be doing it with Chanyeol as well? He did feel a little bad for having not insisted harder on doing it on his own, while knowing that Chanyeol's responsibilities and duties towards the people around him are probably being damaged by confirming to this request.

 

 

During their little break time between lessons, Jongin, the popular student in their equivalent grade, an equal to Chanyeol when it comes to being surrounded and loved by people, suddenly came into their classroom. Kyungsoo was simply sitting and talking with Baekhyun and Jongdae who turned around in their chairs to face him.

Like some supermodel, Jongin strutted straight towards Kyungsoo. His serious facial expression made Kyungsoo freeze in his spot and prevented him from even turning his eyes away. Jongin made it all the way right beside Kyungsoo's table, incredibly and unexpectedly close to him. He leaned in towards him, and made eye contact with him for what Kyungsoo counted in his heart as about thirty whole seconds.

Kyungsoo felt like he couldn't even breathe. The distance between their faces were mere centimeters. He could feel Jongin's exhale brushing lightly against his chin. He was too shocked to think of anything other than the face in front of him. Jongin looked... Flawless. A god-like sculpture of human's peak beauty.

It was a whole different genre of beauty from Chanyeol's, and although Kyungsoo doesn't know him one bit, and certainly is not looking up to him like he admires Chanyeol, his heart was still thumping fast in his chest.

Everyone in class were staring at them, even a few people from other classes who were peeking from the door and hallway windows. These thirty seconds felt like forever in Kyungsoo's slowed down shocked mind. Just then Jongin finally blinked and straightened his back, breaking the tense unexplained lengthy eye contact session between them.

He turned around and placed his hands on his hips victoriously. Almost like he had just achieved something pride worthy. Kyungsoo was beyond confused.   
"Haha, see this? I did it." Jongin said with confidence before proudly walking away, still looking like the school is his runway, leaving the classroom as if nothing happened. A trail of curious students followed after him. The classroom felt more vacant than it was before.

Kyungsoo turned to look at Baekhyun and Jongdae questioningly, his mind blank with no hint of an idea of what just happened, and why. What was the point of staring into his eyes for this long? Is it something worthy of the amount of respect it seems he had gained by doing so?   
"What the hell is he thinking..." Jongdae mumbled while rolling his eyes.   
"Hey, maybe if nothing bad happens to him it could spread some good rumours, instead of the curses and all that." Baekhyun replied with a shrug.   
"So stupid... But might be true..." Jongdae agreed, coldly. Kyungsoo wasn't really sure what they meant, but the mention of curses reminded him of his 'Doshio' reputation. Perhaps it had something to do with that.

Shortly after, in an unexpected move, Chanyeol turned to Kyungsoo in an attempt to make eye contact with him as well. Is this a competition? Unlike Jongin's sharp intense expression though, Chanyeol's face looked like a puppy who's trying to get his loved one's attention out of jealousy.  
Now being stuck on the puppy imagery for Chanyeol again, Kyungsoo stared back at him too. Visualizing yet again how he'd look with flopping ears poking out of his head. His normal ears already look like a puppy's anyway.

Kyungsoo blanked out in his thoughts, and it seemed that Chanyeol staring into his eyes started well. Except after several long seconds, Chanyeol suddenly dropped his head into his arms on the table. Kyungsoo blinked at him.

"Ahaha, today's really hot, huh...?" Chanyeol mumbled defeatedly instead, his ears turning bright pink. Is he... Shy? Chanyeol seemed very nervous, and Kyungsoo was, rightfully, very confused.   
"Yes...?" He responded with uncertaincy while wondering why making eye contact with Chanyeol felt so different from making eye contact with Jongin who did it a moment ago.

Jongin's whole presence is pretty overwhelming. If Chanyeol was the school's charming prince, then Jongin is the school's sexy playboy. Not because he actually messes around with any people when it comes to contact beyond just friendships, Kyungsoo didn't think so, but his appearance was simply breathtaking no matter who you are or what you find attractive.

When Jongin looked in his eyes, Kyungsoo felt a cold stress wash over him. But when Chanyeol did, it felt... Nice. It was warm and pleasant. Actually, Kyungsoo was pretty surprised from himself, and the fact that he hasn't imploded as a result from the long stare. He only knew Jongin by observing him from afar. Unlike Chanyeol, the two of them aren't in the same class, and never really got to interact properly. In fact, this little staring session was the most contact ever made between them.

The subject has been changed fairly quickly by the pair sitting and talking in front of him, so Kyungsoo didn't need to dwell in that any longer. He still couldn't shake a strange feeling, however. Was he just some weird mean of entertainment for all of these high ranked students in the school?

He came from being an invisible nuistance of a cursed ghost boy, into having a bunch of students actually pay close, almost intimate attention to him. It's like being on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Of course he couldn't truly doubt their good intentions, and all of this must be coming out of pure curiousity. Maybe he's just not used to this whole, existing, business.

 

 

During lunch break later that day, since Baekhyun and Jongdae are sitting right in front of him, he got to hear the conversations that the usual students of his class are having. It was quite new and interesting. A bunch of classmates gathered near the pair's seats to talk with them. The subjects kept changing quickly, Kyungsoo could barely keep up. It began with teachers, moved to video games, music, and that's when he lost track.

Until somehow, the subject of the conversation became Chanyeol, who was at the time far enough for them to speak freely without him hearing. It came about probably because one of the guys talking was Chanyeol's classmate during middle school. Whoa, that means this person knows a lot more about Chanyeol than the others. Kyungsoo wondered if maybe even Jongdae or Baekhyun were a larger part of Chanyeol's past, too.

He listened carefully to the discussion, feeling a little bad for eavesdropping, but it was way too interesting to miss. He wanted to know everything there could possibly be known about Chanyeol. Plus, it wasn't intentional, he just sat there, which was why he could hear it too.

The guy spoke about how Chanyeol has always been the same. Attracting everybody's attention, being loved by all, and spreading happiness with every step he took. Ah... So he really was this amazing even in middle school. Kyungsoo didn't know what to expect, but he certainly wasn't surprised to learn that. The guy continued and recalled how everyone, especially the girls, started fighting over him. How many tears were shed because none of them knew how to handle the fact that Chanyeol was just this good. Again, this wasn't particularly news for Kyungsoo. Who by a single glance at the way Chanyeol behaves in highschool, could tell he'd be breaking hearts whether he wants to or not.

Everyone listened with interest as he proceeded talking. He explained how, because Chanyeol's fans noticed he hated the fact that they were all in pain, they came up with the agreement that they should all just love him together from afar. Instead of ruining each other in the process due to jealousy or competetivity.

This time, Kyungsoo was surprised. He was so amazed by the fact that Chanyeol was already so selfless and kind back then that he made other people come to such an amazing positive agreement about him even without him being involved in it. Just because it's about him, and because he has such good influence on others around him. He was so loved that other people began to spread love themselves around him.

"That's the reason so many people moved to this highschool last year..." The classmate said with a shrug.   
"Whaaa that's actually crazy. What, people like her?" Jongdae asked, being a part of the intentional conversation and all. He pointed at a girl that's standing and talking with Chanyeol by the classroom's door. Kyungsoo has seen her around school before. She's from the other class, like Jongin.

"I still can't believe how popular he is. For people to go this far..." Baekhyun teased, resting his head on his palm while staring in Chanyeol's direction. These students actually followed him around this tightly, joining the school just for the sake of having him there. He must leave such a strong impression on people if they decide to go this far. As expected of Kyungsoo's role model and muse.

"Wasn't it kind of similar to Jongin, though? Didn't he attract quite a crowd from his own middle school to join here too?" Another classmate asks. Which surprised Kyungsoo not because he didn't expect it to be a fact, but because of Jongdae's cold reaction to it. He rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue impatiently. Even Baekhyun seemed to be startled from the sudden change in demeanor.

A short while later, the group that gathered around their table had greeted the pair goodbye and scattered around to do their own things. Which left Baekhyun, Jongdae and Kyungsoo alone again. If they count out Sehun who was half napping behind Kyungsoo and wouldn't be able to hear their conversation even if he tried.

"JD, you looked pretty bummed at the mention of Jongin. You got beef with him or something?" Baekhyun asked teasingly, smiling until he was met with Jongdae's unphased cold expression.  
"Actually, I do." He replied as a matter of factly. Both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo silenced down, hoping it'll make him start talking.

"Just, keep it between us." He sighed and shifted his position in the chair a little bit to sit comfortably. Oh, this is going to be quite a story. Baekhyun's subtle anticipation is obvious even though he's trying hard to look neutral about it. Both of them are going to learn something new about Jongdae, it seems.

"Jongin and I are half brothers." He began, already causing both Baekhyun's and Kyungsoo's eyes to open wider.   
"We only found it out at middle school's graduation. You know how that goes, when the ceremony is over, everybody's walking around and talking with the teachers, all that jazz." Jongdae waved his hand dismissively.

"I came around and ended up talking with one of my favourite teachers on my own. Now that I graduated, he was talking to me freely, and with no authorative barriers and restrictions. We joked about how old I've become, and then he asked me about my mother. I was confused, obviously. Apparently he taught her before, which sounded strange, because my mom wasn't born in his town." He continued, the atmosphere around him slowly clouding.

"So like a good boy I brought my mom with me and introduced her to him. They greeted normally, but then he turned to me again and asked where she was." Jongdae exhaled, his eyes turning down to the table.   
"After the woman I thought was my mother froze in surprise, he even went ahead and said 'I would recognize her everywhere, that's how I knew you were her son. She had exactly the same lips as you.' like I wasn't shocked enough to discover that fact already." Kyungsoo could feel the tension rising. Strong emotions being emitted by Jongdae created a stressful electricity in the air.

"It was absolutely shit afterwards. When we got back all four of us sat down and talked. My father said that my real mom died giving birth to me. And if that wasn't enough, he said he had actually been cheating on her for years with Jongin's mother." Jongdae's voice was sharp, yet rasped and cracked a little through his words. It looked like he was either ready to cry, or laugh, but neither happened.

"So when my real mom died, Jongin's mother divorced her husband, already pregnant by my father, and he married her right away instead. Just like that." Kyungsoo could feel the electricity creating sparks of anger around them. The amount of pain Jongdae's feeling right now projects in his voice, and Kyungsoo's heart felt tight in his chest. This sort of story is something nobody could have done anything about. And yet the truth is still unforgivingly hurtful.

"I couldn't even look at either of them anymore after that. My father cheated on my mother even before I existed. Like, Jongin and I are in the same damn grade?! Ugh." Jongdae clenched his teeth as his eyebrows furrowed.   
"So Jongin is the son of my father, and his mother, and I am the son of my father, with no mother. The three of them are the perfect family. Connected by blood and all that, while I'm the one being the outsider. I'm only half of what they are, and always will be." His voice was shaking as he spoke, but then he exhaled and balanced himself back a few layers of anger.

"Clearly, I was unhappy about it. I disowned Jongin as my brother, and we started school as strangers. He agreed to pretend we don't know each other. You know, it sucked. I was so damn attached to his mom, but whatever. We fought a lot and all that mess. I was and still am barely at home anymore. Lucky I got somewhere else to stay." He sounded like he had calmed down his anger back to the neutral state of normal. He shrugged his shoulders before stretching his arms up, and then resting against Kyungsoo's table.

"Anyway, guess that's my beef with him for you." Jongdae nudged Baekhyun's ribs with his elbow. Both him and Kyungsoo couldn't say much after hearing this truth. It was quiet for several moments. In which Kyungsoo felt heavy, but also lucky, and grateful, that Jongdae was willing to open up this much in front of him and share his story so truthfully. He really didn't feel worthy, but being entrusted with somebody's inner truth is honorable, and knowing that Jongdae's dealing with this much chaos behind his pleasant, gentle and kind exterior, gave his actions and words even more meaning in Kyungsoo's eyes.

Baekhyun after the silence, raised his eyes and made eye contact with Jongdae. He simply nodded, but it spread a small smile across Jongdae's lips. Like the two of them could understand each other without saying a single word. The connection between them must be so deep and true. Kyungsoo could really feel how the atmosphere was clearing, when the next thing that happened was Baekhyun changing the subject to something else silly to lighten the mood.

These two really know how to take care of one another, it seems. Kyungsoo could only be swept away from the awe he felt towards them. He is so lucky that they decided to sit near him and include him with them.

The heaviness of Jongdae's truth faded away quickly, and Kyungsoo was able to proceed with his day without giving it too much thought. It was none of his business, and it wasn't his place to get involved in something that has nothing to do with him. He was just lucky enough to be exposed to a deeper part of Jongdae's already incredible being.

 

 

Eventually, all lessons have come to an end. And as expected from a student who's used to being given tasks after school hours, Kyungsoo remained in the class. He'd already gone to the teacher's office to receive the papers from his teacher, and made it back to class. He was looking forward to doing it all through the day because Chanyeol and him agreed on doing it together after they volunteered.

It could have been a great time spent together. Well, at least for Kyungsoo it would have been great, because then he'd get to spend more time with Chanyeol. The other way around might have not been as expectant as him, because it seems that Kyungsoo will be doing it alone after all. Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't need the teacher's office, and even his bag wasn't in class anymore.

Which was fine, really, Kyungsoo didn't mind. Just the thought of Chanyeol going as far as wanting to do this boring task with him was already enough to keep him smiling to himself. In fact, he was glad he'd able to do it on his own, so that in case Chanyeol had anything else he wanted to do, he wouldn't have to cancel it. He wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of not doing it either, so it's good.

Kyungsoo worked on it for quite a while on his own. It was fairly easy. Just rewriting the same things again and again on several papers for each of the teachers in school. His mind was filled with thoughts about Chanyeol, but also a little bit of Jongdae and Jongin.

Suddenly the classroom door opened, bringing Kyungsoo back to reality after zoning out through completing the repetetive task. Chanyeol was standing at the entrance looking pretty shaken up.   
"Kyungsoo!" He called to him while walking in quickly and sitting backwards on the chair in front of his table, Jongdae's usual seat. Oh, Kyungsoo's heart jumped slightly from hearing his name being said by Chanyeol yet again.

"I finally made it, so let me help out. I said I would." Chanyeol insisted and looked down at the papers Kyungsoo was filling out. Kyungsoo hasn't realized himself that he had actually already got most of them were filled. Papers sitting in a neat pile to the side, while he was just finishing to fill the one before last.

He's so touched. Kyungsoo was convinced he'd be spending this entire time alone, but Chanyeol came after all with the intention of helping him. There must be a million things keeping Chanyeol busy at all times, yet he still followed suit up to his own word and came to complete the mission with Kyungsoo like they'd said in class.   
"Thank you." Kyungsoo nodded at him while looking down at the papers. Oh... Maybe... Maybe he was too eager to finish it. He was too distracted, thinking about Chanyeol the whole time, that now there's barely anything left for Chanyeol to do.

"What... You already finished all of them...?" Chanyeol looked nearly devastated as he pulled out the last unfilled sheet and stared at it with a pout.   
"I feel so bad. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back." He sighed and placed it down on the table towards himself, then without warning placed his palm over Kyungsoo's to pull the pencil out of his fingers' grip gently.

Kyungsoo stiffened in his spot for a second from the unexpected touch before quickly pulling his hands off the table and staring at the way Chanyeol was writing everything down. The way his hand moved, the way his fingers held the pencil... It might be boring for most, but ksoo found it fascinating. He could only watch with silent admiration. Anything Chanyeol did was godly in his eyes.

"Thank you." Kyungsoo mindlessly said again.   
"Don't thank me, I said I would do it---"   
"I mean... Thank you for everything. I had a great time today thanks to you. It almost felt like I was living in someone else's stead." Kyungsoo explained instead. He didn't know what took over his heart to speak out like this. When they were alone it felt like he didn't need to pretend, or hold anything back.

"I didn't even do anything... Maybe everyone else are waiting for the right opportunity to get to know you, too." Chanyeol replied with a small smile across his lips. Somehow, Chanyeol managed to fill him with so much hope.   
"Let me finish this. I'll bring it back to the teacher's office, so head back home for today." Chanyeol spoke again, starting to write some more on the paper, before stopping and turning his head up to look at Kyungsoo, who didn't even realize he was staring at Chanyeol so deeply that he forgot to respond.

After their eyes connected for a few long seconds, Chanyeol jerked a bit surprised and quickly dug back into the paper, his hair hiding the expression on his face. But Kyungsoo noticed that his ears began turning pink again. He wondered if Chanyeol might be getting sick.

"Yeah. I will head home now." Kyungsoo then finally said. He grabbed his bag and stood up, bowing down to Chanyeol deeply before heading out of the classroom.   
"See you tomorrow." Chanyeol called behind him, and even though Kyungsoo didn't turn back to look, he could hear that Chanyeol was smiling as he spoke. A gentle feeling of butterflies flying inside him started spreading at the center of his body. Ah... He is so happy. Chanyeol sounded delighted about the fact that he's going to see him again tomorrow... This is more than he ever imagined Chanyeol would feel towards him.

As he stepped out of the classroom however, he found two of his classmates standing there and looking at him surprised. They're holding their bags too, which means they planned to go back home as well. Seungwan and Seulgi.

With the encouragement of Chanyeol's words about others trying to find the right time to try and connect with him, Kyungsoo turned to them and bowed lightly.   
"W-Would you like to walk home with me? At least until we exit the school---...?" He asked, feeling nervous. As he rose up he found that the two girls were looking at him with fear in their eyes. Oh, he failed again... Maybe this wasn't the right time yet. He shut his mouth tightly, bowed once more as an apology, and quickly turned to walk away on his own instead.

"Hey! It's rude to turn your back to people like this... You didn't even wait for our answer!" Seungwan called out to him with a small smile, and Seulgi nodded beside her. "We'd love to walk with you... It's just, are you angry?" She proceeds to ask, and Kyungsoo stared at them surprised.

"Angry? No, not at all." The beloved class president and her trusty helper and friend then began laughing softly.   
"Ahh! that's a relief... You always try to greet us in the mornings, but you look so angry that we were sure you hated us." She said and stepped forward, standing next to him, as Seulgi smiled and stepped to his other side. Somehow, with Kyungsoo sandwiched between them, they began walking.  
"Oh! There was actually something I wanted to tell you. The way you played the ghost at the park was so good! I honestly thought you were a real one. I hope you weren't too scared out there on your own." They began having a pleasant and calm conversation with him as they walked. Chuckling, smiling and gesturing with their hands. Until they reached the school's gate.

Kyungsoo felt quite overwhelmed from receiving this sort of attention, especially from none other than the class president and her right hand. He always knew they were nice girls, even if they easily got scared when he wanted to greet them in the mornings. It was his way of showing his respect and gratitude for their roles in class.

He had a surprising amount of fun talking with them, it felt good. They spoke to him like they do with all the other classmates. And showed no signs of fear at all. If anything, they almost began fawning over him from time to time. Though the path to the school's gate was short, and came to an end. As they parted paths Kyungsoo couldn't help but think about how thankful he was to Chanyeol yet again for the rightly timed encouragement about the possibility of other classmates wanting to get to know him. It's almost like Chanyeol knew this would happen. The timing was incredible.

Upon reaching the gate the pair of friendly classmates waved him a cheerful goodbye with their parting, and Kyungsoo headed the other way to his home. Normally, he'd be seeing Chanyeol standing and talking with who knows how many students who simply don't want to stop being in his company even for a single day. But now that it was quite late, the paths are empty. Honestly, Kyungsoo could relate. He also, has a hard time accepting that he has to part with Chanyeol between school mornings.

Shortly after he's gone on his path however, Kyungsoo heard a familiar voice calling his name. As he turned he found out Chanyeol was running behind him, trying to catch up to him at the street. Did he run and hurry up this much just because he was hoping for a chance to meet up with Kyungsoo again? No. Kyungsoo shouldn't allow himself to be this conceited.

"You really did everything! I finished it so quickly... So glad I could catch up to you!" Chanyeol smiled down at him. Kyungsoo was allowed to at least hope, just a little, that he can trust Chanyeol's words instead of his own selfish greed. Right? If Chanyeol said he was glad to catch up to him, so he must really mean it. He would have been glad to catch up with anybody else as well, of course.

Kyungsoo nodded lightly, making sure his hopes won't inflate his behaviour.   
"I heard someone talking outside the classroom after you left, was that you?" Chanyeol then asked, running a hand through his hair to pull it back. He's probably hot after rushing towards Kyungsoo like this. But he's most definitely hot for looking, well, like himself. He looks good. He's so handsome.

"Yes, Seungwan and Seulgi were there. We talked until we had to split." Kyungsoo replied, smiling a bit. The warm feeling that he felt while talking to them still lingered a little. It only spreaded more as he thought about how pleasant it felt.   
"Ah! I'm glad!" Chanyeol smiled.  
"It's thanks to you that I was able to gather the courage." Kyungsoo explained while looking down at his feet. There's so much Chanyeol has done for him already, words simply aren't enough to show his gratitude.

"Kyungsoo, haven't you realized yet?" Chanyeol asked after a moment of silence. Kyungsoo turned to look up at him. He loved it when Chanyeol said his name, it rang so well with his voice. It rang so well inside the depths of Kyungsoo's heart.   
"Baekhyun, Jongdae, Sehun, Seungwan and Seulgi... They didn't come to you because of me. It's because they saw how hard you were trying. You're way better than you think, let yourself shine." Chanyeol continued calmly, dazzling Kyungsoo with an honest yet confident smile.

Huh...? All this time ksoo was convinced that the only reason anybody had approached him in the last few days was thanks to Chanyeol. How come only after Chanyeol began interacting with him, everyone are suddenly doing the same? Is it really true that any of this could have happened even without Chanyeol?

He wanted to believe him, but it was really hard to imagine anything changing at all if it wasn't for Chanyeol's own influence and involvement in his life.

It was quiet for several moments as they've walked beside each other. A fair distance between them. Kyungsoo was busy in his own thoughts, looking ahead at the surface on which his feet will step.

"You see, Kyungsoo," Chanyeol spoke once more, saying Kyungsoo's name again. Ah... It sounded really nice.   
"What encourages me to keep going on... Is you."  
Kyungsoo's eyes widened at this revalation. Chanyeol had admitted it so honestly and seriously, Kyungsoo started doubting his own ears. How could he say such a thing like that? Could it really be...? Does Kyungsoo actually inspire Chanyeol just like Chanyeol himseld inspires others, including Kyungsoo? He never thought of that. But... If this really is the truth, he would be incredibly happy.

 

 

"Eh~ Not bad! I heard that you talked with Seungwan and Seulgi yesterday? They seem to have had a lot of fun chatting with you!" Jongdae announced first thing in the morning after. Only then shooting his hello while taking his seat in front of Kyungsoo with a lazy smile. Baekhyun was already sitting down on his table towards the two of them, also with a smile.

"It's thanks to you two." Kyungsoo replied sincerely. "Huh?" Baekhyun's eyesbrows rone on his bangs covered forehead.   
"They came and spoke with me because they kept seeing you two doing the same... So thank you." Kyungsoo further explained and nodded at them gratefully. It's true. If it wasn't for Chanyeol sitting beside him and the two of them following along, there's no way anybody would have changed the way they treated Kyungsoo at all.

He got to learn so much simply from sitting there. From knowing that the people sitting around him don't look at him with fear anymore. From the fact that they gladly include him in their conversations and listen to what he has to say with patience and acceptance.

It's only been a short while, but it did't change the fact that everything had already began shifting and transforming around him. Some things he won't be able to get rid of, like his appearance, or his spooky atmosphere whenever he gets shy when trying to approach others. Or the fact that people always think he's angry because of his eyesight. But from having Baekhyun, Jongdae, Sehun and even Chanyeol treating him so generously, he already learned what happiness was.  
"A-Are you an idiot?" Baekhyun asked dramatically, slamming his hand on Kyungsoo's table and making him jump, only to realize that Baekhyun was actually holding back tears and sniffling back snot, emotional from hearing Kyungsoo's confession. Jongdae quickly smacked Baekhyun's leg in retaliation.   
"Hey! Don't scare him like this!" He pouted before sighing and looking at Kyungsoo. "It's not because of us... It's thanks to your great efforts. You're doing your best, right?" He smiled at him warmly, with honest affection.

It made Kyungsoo feel fuzzy inside and start fiddling with the cover of the book he has on his table out of shyness. Ah... He's so lucky and grateful, these two are so cool and kind. Like a pair of guardian angels.

"By the way, what's this book?" Jongdae shifted the conversation as Baekhyun relaxed and sat down properly, turning in their direction.   
"It's a book about ghost stories." Kyungsoo held the book up for the two of them to check out the cover. The book looked pretty old and slightly damaged. The cover was rustic brown and had what looked like a hand drawn traditional painting of a haunted house.

"GHOST STORIES?"   
Baekhyun asked in a loud shock, turning the attention of all present classmates towards them in the classroom.   
"I just thought that if I read those I'd be able to somehow learn how to fulfill's everyone's expectations." Kyungsoo explained and flipped through a few pages to show them he's been reading through.   
"Y-You're so sweet... Aaahhh...." Baekhyun began his dramatic sniffling again, and patted his shoulder.

"Is it really necessary...?" Jongdae asked with a small sigh before the bell began ringing. Necessary? Kyungsoo wasn't sure what he meant. Reading the book? Learning the stories in it? Or maybe he talked about whether it's necessary for Kyungsoo to try so hard and fit into everyone's expectations of him by doing something that is entirely unlike him? Maybe all of the options together.

 

 

Classes began. The day was passing by as usual.

Though unexpectedly, during one of the more sleep indusing lessons, suddenly a small folded note landed on Kyungsoo's table. Surprised, he picked the note and turned to look around to get a clue as to who it is intended towards. He saw Chanyeol looking at him and pointing his finger at him repeatedly. What could it mean...? If he pointed several times it must mean that it must be passed towards the direction he pointed at. But the only person near Kyungsoo is...

Ah! He found out what the pointing means! Kyungsoo placed the note neatly in his hand, then carefully moved his whole arm backwards from below, and placed it at the edge of Sehun's table behind him. Yes! He did it! He felt so accomplished by completing this little secret mission of passing the note, that he turned to look back at Chanyeol with excitement, only to see him looking back at Kyungsoo in shock. Chanyeol then easily reached his long arm and quickly snatched the note back before Sehun could grab it.

Oh no... He failed after all... Kyungsoo felt so incredibly disappointedin himself. It was his first time being given such great responsibility of passing a secret note too. He never got to do it in the past, being seated more often than not at the front of the class, he would see the notes passing behind his back. But never got the chance to try and pass one himself. Now that he did, he managed to ruin it as well.

Though before he could sink into real sadness, the note landed on the corner of his table again. Except this time,

[ To: Kyungsoo! ]

Was written on its outer folded corner. His heart fluttered in his chest. Whoa, this is the first time a note in class is being passed to him, and the note is meant for him as well. He used to see everyone else passing notes around, especially in middle school, but none ever passed by him, let alone reached him. So this is pretty exciting.

He carefully unfolded the note behind his notebook, trying to keep it hidden so it will not grab any attention attention.

[ My friend had chosen a name for the kitten. He said he'd like for you to come and visit him! What do you say? - From: Chanyeol ]

The note read. And Kyungsoo felt how warmth and happiness started spreading through his entire body. Without hesitation he grabbed his pencil and wrong at the bottom of the note. Then he carefully folded it again, and passed it back to Chanyeol, who smiled at him widely upon reading the answer.

All he wrote was a small

[ Me too. ]

Chanyeol's attention turned back to the class, but a small smile on his lips lingered even after the note had been passed. Kyungsoo knew because he kept watching him. He's so mesmerized. Kyungsoo felt like a child again. Passing notes like this in class was something he never knew could be this much fun to partake in. No wonder everybody used to do it a lot.

More than the note, however, Kyungsoo had carved the happy smile Chanyeol shot at him after seeing his reply, into his memory. It felt like the whole world disappeared around Chanyeol.

How can a smile pierce so deep into someone's heart like Chanyeol's does Kyungsoo's? He knew he's not the first to see this smile, yet he couldn't help but allow his admiration for Chanyeol to continue growing inside him. His life took such a sharp turn for the better ever since they began interacting with one another. Kyungsoo fully understood every single person who decided to continue following Chanyeol into this highschool.

He did wonder however, how much more can these feelings of idolizing and admiring Chanyeol grow before they'd turn into something different. And if he will even be able to handle feeling anything different towards Chanyeol. His feelings keep increasing to new heights and limits he never knew he could feel before.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

It's already nearing exam time. The whole class was feeling the consequences of the constant nagging on their teachers during lessons. But luckily, they finished the material, and now their lessons mostly consist of self studying hours between breaks. The teachers sometimes don't even come to the classroom at all.

Kyungsoo's never been an over the top student. His grades never shined or surprised anybody. He's pretty much on the lower spectrum of average. Of course he always tried doing his best, but studying takes a lot of time and effort and requires one to focus deeply on something that frankly, Kyungsoo didn't really care about. He knew his parents were proud of him for other things. These numbers didn't really measure a person's true worth.

As expected, Kyungsoo was struggling with solving questions from the book all alone during the self study lesson. He was stuck on this one problem for so long, he might as well just give up.  
"Hey, need any help? Looks like this one's giving you a hard time." Chanyeol's voice came from beside him. Looking at him with a curious yet calm expression. Was Kyungsoo really projecting his struggles so much that Chanyeol was able to notice?

Kyungsoo nodded miserably in reply. Losing the little progress he's made about the question in his mind, because it was overflowing with thoughts about Chanyeol's kindness instead. Chanyeol then grabbed his own notes and turned his chair so he'd sit at Kyungsoo's table from the side.   
"I can totally understand why you're struggling with this one. It's kind of a trick question, see, you need to..."

Chanyeol began explaining to him how to solve it properly. He spoke slowly and gently, staying calm and waiting to see Kyungsoo's reactions patiently. Although his heart was beating quicker due to being the one Chanyeol's whole attention is dedicated to at the moment, Kyungsoo was able to remain focused on the task at hand. He was quite surprised that he finally understood what needed to be done. Not because Chanyeol's knowledge was unexpected, but because he never thought he'll be able to figure the thinking process behind solving such questions at all.

Seriously, after Chanyeol has sat down beside him, Kyungsoo kept finding more and more things that Chanyeol are good at. If people were like meals, then Chanyeol would have been a whole entire restaurant's menu with his talents, skills, and abilities.

Kyungsoo was a little startled when he looked back up from the book and found both Baekhyun and Jongdae sitting around his table as well. Before Chanyeol turned to help him, both of them were just sitting and talking to each other quietly without bothering to use this lesson to study. But now all of a sudden they both look at the progress Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are making all intrigued.

"Aaah! I get it now!" Baekhyun called out at one point. Bringing his own notes to Kyungsoo's table and copying what has been done. Now instead of being a private lesson, it became a little tutoring session. Kyungsoo felt so much pride in the way Chanyeol was able to spread his knowledge to more people like that. The five of them, with Sehun half napping behind Kyungsoo, began studying together.

But after a while, more and more students began gathering around them and asking questions. It felt so odd. Sitting at his table and having this many classmates surrounding his table. He wasn't the center of attention, but being located right next to Chanyeol felt quite like he was. Kyungsoo got a little nervous, but hearing Chanyeol answer everybody's questions and hand out tips and tricks to solving more left him in too much awe to care about himself. Chanyeol's truly amazing. He's spending this time selflessly helping his classmates instead of using it to study on his own.

Once the bell rang, signing the end of the lesson, almost the entire classroom was gathered around them. Everyone began chatting with each other in excitement, saying how they will be able to do much better now. Thanking Chanyeol with cheerful smiles and high fives. He was also grateful, Chanyeol approached him to help at first, and he wanted to express his gratitude as well.

"Chanyeol, thank you." Kyungsoo worded out, a true honest smile easily resting across his lips. Only after a few seconds of silence he realized that some students were staring at him. Especially Baekhyun and Jongdae who looked interested and mesmerized.

Chanyeol, however, had his lower half of the face covered by him holding his notes up like he's trying to hide. His eyes were also averted sideways, and Kyungsoo noticed the the tips of his peeking ears were pink.   
"You-- You're welcome..." He mumbled while sliding his chair back to his own table and staring down at it with tightly shut lips. Kyungsoo was confused, to say the least.

School day ended faster than ever and Kyungsoo saw Chanyeol on his way home. Surprisingly, walking alone. This will be his chance, he could express his gratitude yet again by thanking him for the lesson. If Chanyeol was his teacher he would have been the top of his class at all times for sure. With a wave of confidence Kyungsoo rushed ahead and caught up to him, stepping beside him and receiving an immediate small smile of aknowledgement.

"Hey~" Chanyeol hummed, slowing down his walking pace a little. Maybe he noticed that it's harder for Kyungsoo to keep up with the speed of his long legs.   
"I wanted to thank you again for the lessons today. You were a great teacher, and it helped me a lot." Kyungsoo said, all formalities always drop whenever it comes to Chanyeol. Normally Kyungsoo's nervous about approaching people like this. But now when he came to Chanyeol, he even smiled up at him warmly.

"I'm glad I could help. I'm also glad that everybody came over to your table. Our classmates are pretty cool when you get to be around them." Chanyeol replied calmly.   
"It's all thanks to you. You noticed I was struggling." Kyungsoo nodded to make sure Chanyeol understands just how much of an impact he had today. How happy it made him.

Unexpectedly though, Chanyeol's expression turned from a calm relaxation into a serious mild frown. He stopped walking, causing Kyungsoo to cease his steps as well. Then before Kyungsoo could question anything, Chanyeol got closer in front of him, looking directly down into his eyes. A few students from the school, probably some of Chanyeol's friends started calling him from behind, but Kyungsoo heard one of the guys stop them. Saying "He's talking with someone, he'll come later." As they walked away.

It turned quiet again, and Kyungsoo's whole attention was focused solely on Chanyeol standing up and close in front of him. His heart was making the flips in his chest, every cell in his body was aware of Chanyeol's existence. He looked up at Chanyeol, his eyes pierced through whatever protection he thought he had.   
"I have to admit... I was a little jealous... That even though I was the one teaching you... You smiled like that at everyone in class... I wanted that smile to be just for me... So," He spoke deeply and quietly, but then broke the intensity by smiling really softly down at Kyungsoo.   
"I'll take the one you just gave me instead."

Kyungsoo was stunned, both physically and mentally, from hearing Chanyeol's words. His mind crowded with unanswered questions and possibilities of misunderstood meanings and intentions. What was this all about? He couldn't form a single thought. Chanyeol then greeted him a bright goodbye and turned to leave, joining up on his friends who waited afar. Kyungsoo almost felt high from that moment on.

"So how was school today, honey? Were you able to focus on studying a little?" Kyungsoo's father asked him that evening after they've finished eating dinner together.   
"I did. A..." How is he supposed to explain who Chanyeol is? "Classmate of mine helped me out. It was fun." Kyungsoo answered, hoping the little pause he had in his words didn't raise any suspicion. Kyungsoo's mother smiled at him after sipping on her tea.   
"You know, it really does feel like you've had a good time today. I'm really glad about that." She teased him lovingly. Which caused Kyungsoo to look down at the table shyly for a few moments.

Is it really this obvious? Well, these are his parents, they surely can understand his behaviour better than anyone else. He really did have fun. He really has been so happy ever since before summer vacation. He's been so happy that he nearly forgot what it's like to feel the way he had been before... Before Chanyeol. It almost felt like he was using up all of his happiness resource in life right now. He could only hope that it won't run out too soon.

 

 

The next morning has come. Kyungsoo was already sitting in class and preparing for the first lesson. Then he saw Baekhyun and Jongdae enter class.   
"Good morning." He greeted them politely, but this time instead of the normal greeting the two of them leaned in and examined him very suspiciously. Looking at his face from up close, their lips puckered into pouts and their eyebrows drawn in tightly. He could only stare back at their faces confused.

"Say~ You know in middle school I was such a playboy, I used to date every single girl and boy who wanted. I dated more than a hundred!" Baekhyun said an in exaggerated tone, his palm rested on the side of Kyungsoo's table.   
"And I used to be such a bad guy in middle school, I would hit students and make the teachers cry!" Jongdae said with his arms crossed, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow as if to try and scare him.

Kyungsoo was quite puzzled, but these stories sure do sound interesting.   
"Ahh, is that so?" He looked up at them curiously and nodded lightly. If they'll be telling him more about it he'd definitely love listening.   
"That's pretty amazing, you two are so cool and kind. I don't have any interesting past stories..." Kyungsoo replied calmly, trying to recall if there has ever been anything interesting at all about his life as a whole. But nothing really came to mind.

"INNOCENT!" The two pointed their fingers and chanted at him simultaneously before laughing to themselves and settling down in their seats.   
"What the hell, how could we even think that..." Baekhyun mumbled. Kyungsoo wondered what this whole thing was about, but he has more important matters to think of.

"Ah! Baekhyun." He then called out, holding up a notebook towards him. "I wrote down the important notes for myself after Chanyeol helped us and taught us yesterday... So I copied them for you, since you said you're struggling too..." Kyungsoo became a bit shy through his own sentence and his voice weakened. But Baekhyun took it in his one hand like it's a treasure, while using his other hand to cover his eyes dramatically. His face turned upwards and his lips were quivering.   
"Aaahhh so sweet, two hundred percent innocent... I'll use it... Thank youuuu." He replied in a tearful voice. Kyungsoo felt quite accomplished, and very happy that Baekhyun accepted taking the notes he made for him.

"Seriously cant believe we even tested it." Jongdae said to Kyungsoo before laughing. Bringing back the confusion about the odd stories they've told before.   
"Don't worry about it, people just love talking way too much sometimes." He smiled at Kyungsoo reassuringly. Ah... Does that mean the stories were actually not true? Not that it matters, because Kyungsoo still adores them regardless of whatever's in the pasts.

"Jongdae?" Kyungsoo then remembered and looked towards him. "Hmm?" He tilted his head curiously.   
"I was thinking of watching some ghost movies, to learn how to be more like a ghost for everyone, can you.. Recommend me any?" Kyungsoo asked, full of hope. Jongdae stared at him for a bit before covering his own mouth, looking quite shocked.   
"Three hundred percent innocent...." He mumbled to himself before uncovering his mouth. What are they counting? Does it still have anything to do with what they said before?

"Listen, just because people tell you that you're like something, it doesn't mean you have to work hard to satisfy them. You should be yourself, not a false version of yourself just for their sake." Jongdae spoke with a confident smile. "But, I do know some fun movies about ghosts! I'll bring you the list tomorrow, since I'll have to find it when I get home today." He grinned, before the three of them turned to greet Sehun good morning as well. Seeing him wobble his way to his seat sleepily.

Shortly after, Chanyeol also entered the classroom and slid down into his seat. Kyungsoo's eyes were glued in his direction the entire time. He had... He had a different hairstyle today. His hair is parted sideways gently, so instead of full fluffy bangs, a part of his forehead is showing. And Kyungsoo couldn't pull his eyes away from how good it looked on him like that. He's so handsome... He'd look good no matter what hairstyle he has, or what clothes he wears.

"Since when are you late?" Sehun asked, causing Chanyeol to sigh and pout at him.   
"Our crazy gym teacher stopped me in the hall and began telling me about the stupid dream he had about little people, and..." Kyungsoo really wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying at all. He wanted to look at him some more instead. Admire the art, the beauty.

"Little people? What the hell?" Sehun replied nonchalantly.   
"I know right, pretty sure he was drinking---..." Chanyeol suddenly stopped talking, and turned to stare back at Kyungsoo. Uh oh. Did he just get caught gazing at Chanyeol's forehead? Kyungsoo quickly turned to look away, half heartedly pretending he didn't just spend the last five minutes carving the sight of Chanyeol into his mind. But his heart thumped, and his mind kept flashing the image of Chanyeol's handsome new hairstyle. He wanted to see it again... Surely, Chanyeol didn't really catch him, right? So he turned to look at him again a moment later, only to see Chanyeol being the one to turn to look away nervously himself.   
Oh... He missed it.

Kyungsoo found that his heart began feeling warmer, and pumping a lot more lately, now that he'd turned happier than he's been before. He wondered if everyone he met felt the same. Whether the people around him actually enjoy spending time with him, as much as he does with them.

Even if it's hard for him to be convinced, he's going to believe in them, and trust that the fact that Sehun keeps stealing bites from his lunch box means he enjoys his cooking. And that Baekhyun and Jongdae always turning their chairs to sit with him at his table and talk means that they are having a good time chatting with him. And that Chanyeol always suggesting activities, helping him, smiling at him and encouraging him, means that he's enjoying his company.

Until now, he would have never thought of anything like that. Since he was so used to being alone. But ever since the day Chanyeol decided to sit beside him, he got to experience so many new feelings he hadn't felt before. He wanted to remember these feelings well, to treasure these memories and gain more strength through them.

 

 

The days keep passing.

It felt like in the past few days, although there has been a massive increase in the measure of happiness around school, there's also been an increase in how fearful people are of him at school, too. Even his classmates who softened towards him a little are now back to the usual levels of fears as if nothing had changed. When Kyungsoo was walking through the halls it almost felt like everyone are looking at him from afar, actively staying away and avoiding him. Which is a different tense feeling from how it used to be.

He was avoided for years, he knew what it's like, but lately it felt this distance is not just the usual. It was like like they're judging him. Stripping him off his very own image and plastering their own version of him upon him.

It became really tough walking around. Kyungsoo will be fine though, it must be just another stronger wave of cursed rumours spreading about him or something. Ah, he wished he could really fulfill his role and please everyone by summoning a ghost at some point.

"Hey! Come with me for a second." A voice snapped him out of his thoughts. It was Yerim, one of the Juniors who joined highschool this year. She's a pretty and popular girl in her grade. He was surprised when she suddenly pulled at his arm towards the side of the hallway near their classes. As they've gotten to a secure enough spot, she let go of his arm and looked up at him worriedly. Whoa, he felt pretty tall standing with her, being surrounded by the people in his own class really affected the way he perceived his own height.

"Lately... There have been a lot of rumours going around about you," Yerim began talking, sounding unhappy about the subject. "And... I'm a friend of Seungwan and Seulgi from your class, so I got a little worried. They they told me they had fun with you before... And I hate seeing nice people get trashed." She said, tugging to her own sweater's sleeve lightly. She seems really worried.

Ah... Kyungsoo felt his heart warming at the thought that even a person who doesn't know him personally actually heard good things about him for a change, and is willing to talk to him even through there are all of the ghosty rumours spreading around. Maybe everyone found out that he is actually unable to summon ghosts that will haunt them at night. That must be it.

"I guess... Some misunderstandings are hard to clear..." Kyungsoo replied, rubbing the back of his head. He was a little worried that this might be a disappointment, but it's always better to be honest, right?   
"Misunderstanding? Ah... Of course it would be." Yerim looked extremely relieved as she sighed lightly and smiled at him gently.

"But, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. People around me are being really kind to me, so it doesn't get to me anymore." Kyungsoo continued with a small smile himself, as Yerim chuckled and placed her hands on her hips with renewed confidence.   
"Of course! You've really opened up a lot lately. I'm really glad to hear this. I knew it wouldn't make any sense. Baekhyun and Jongdae are your friends now!"

Kyungsoo looked at her a bit surprised from the bold statement and quickly shook his head to decline.   
"Ah, no, they aren't my friends!" He denied immediately, which left Yerim herself looking surprised. There was a noise coming from the stairs behind them. It sounded a little like Baekhyun's voice, but Kyungsoo heard the teacher speak there instead, so he didn't mind it.   
"I mean, the two of them are friends, because you can tell when you look at them that their bond is very strong... They really care about each other. I... I don't think I can get so ahead of myself and call myself their friend." He proceeded to explain calmly.

"But, I really like them. And I hope that if I work hard I will be able to become their real friend. When that day comes, I would be so happy." Yerim's face then lifted back up to a hopeful smile.  
"I'm sure it will come quickly. I'll be cheering for you!" She shook her hands together as if to imitate a cheerleading dance, which made Kyungsoo's smile grow further. The two waved at each other before each went to their own class.

Later, as Kyungsoo entered the classroom, he found Baekhyun and Jongdae standing near their seats. They looked tense, and unhappy, unlike their usual smiling cheerful selves. Confused and worried, he approached them. Baekhyun noticed him and gestured towards the chair of Kyungsoo's seat.   
"Could you come over and sit?" He asked, sounding lifeless. Kyungsoo settled in his seat. Kyungsoo started wondering if it's just him, or if they really do look a little sad, even. What happened? He's started getting even more worried.

"This is really important, so please answer honestly." Baekhyun then said, placing both hands on Kyungsoo's table and looking down at him intensely.   
"I like--- I mean, we like you, Kyungsoo. How do you feel about us?" He asked, his eyes locked with Kyungsoo's, and so did Jongdae's, who's standing right beside Baekhyun and looking at him.   
"Do you like us too?" Jongdae asked quietly.

There was silence for a while, Kyungsoo tried to read what's the meaning behind their serious expressions, but he simply couldn't understand what was happening. Just like with Yerim, being honest resulted with her understand what he means. So he should work with the same policy with these two people who are so important to him, right?

"I don't 'Like' you two... Rather than like..." He began, trying to think of the right words to explain just how meaningful they are for him, how much he truly loves and adores them, how thankful he is to them. But before he could even continue saying anything else at all, Baekhyun's hand left his table, and the two of them turned to sit at their own tables, facing the board at the front.   
"Ah. Thanks for your honesty." Baekhyun said, sounding even more lifeless than he did before.  
"Sorry about that." Jongdae finished, and with that, they were left in silence again.

Kyungsoo shook his head to himself, wondering if he managed to get through to the two of them so easily like that. He couldn't even finish talking, but maybe it was enough for them to understand their worth in his life. He should be extremely happy right now, shouldn't he? He had just, kind of, told them his feelings. But the atmosphere is still so tense. They clearly don't seem to be pleased with his feelings. Is there there anything he could do to make them feel better quickly? Seeing them acting so coldly like this just made his worries grow.

 

 

As he later wandered the halls between classes, he caught a conversation between a few students talking to each other.   
"...---and now he's getting so full of himself, making Baekhyun and Jongdae back him up. Even Chanyeol!" He heard one saying to the other. Whoa, that person sounded pretty influential. He wondered who could be a friend with all of his precious people at school. That person was probably not very good, if other students claim he's using them like that. He listened a little more, just out of curiousity.

"What? Seriously? That Doshio kid?" The other person replied, making Kyungsoo freeze up completely. Huh...? What...? What is that supposed to mean? Has he really the one that's been using them this entire time?   
"Yeah, but the dark rumours about Baekhyun and Jongdae are seriously getting out of control aren't they?" Another one spoke. What? Baekhyun and Jongdae have dark rumours about them? How? They are the most amazing pair of people he's ever---... Kyungsoo's mind clicked and did the one plus one connection.

Is that why the two of them looked so sad before when they spoke with him? They were hurt by the rumours because of him.   
"It's all Doshio's fault. I feel bad for them. He walks around like he owns the place lately." One student said.   
"And Chanyeol too... He's going to lose his popularity and reputation if he keeps hanging out with that creep any longer." He heard them saying before they walked far enough for him not to hear them anymore. His heart was beating fast, out of fear, and sadness. It felt more like a spiked ball jumping and stabbing him from the inside.

This... This was all because of him?

Baekhyun and Jongdae have always been kind to him. They're willing to be with him because of how amazing and kind they are. And yet... All he did was hurt the people around him? If he keeps talking with Chanyeol like that, will he cause harm upon him as well, just like he did to Baekhyun and Jongdae? Would it be better if he kept his distance from all of them? It will keep all of them safe that way, right?

Kyungsoo wasn't sure how he had passed through the night. But the next morning he was back to school again. A facility that turned from something he looked forward to arriving to, into a hell of faults shooting at him wherever he went.

He saw Baekhyun and Jongdae entering the school right beside him where their lockers with all material for classes are located. While looking down and quiet, he bowed to them both.   
"Good morning." They stopped in their step and stared at him. He could easily see that their eyes are red... Have they been crying at night? Because of him?

"I'm sorry. You must have been sad because of me." He began.   
"What... Do you mean?" Jongdae asked cautiously. But as more students began entering the school, Kyungsoo's stress has risen, so he just shook his head and turned around, rushing away. He didn't want the two of them to be seen talking to him, because that is the reason all of these bad things are spreading about them.

They looked far more hurt than Kyungsoo had thought. He has to find out who's spreading the rumours and stop them. He has to let them know that Baekhyun and Jongdae have nothing to do with him anymore, that they are amazing and kind people so no rumours should be spread about them. But... How is he supposed to find who's spreading these rumours, when every single student that sees him steps aside to stay away? He just wanted everyone to return to their usual selves, to their happy and cheerful selves from before he got involved with them at all.

He was so selfish and delusional, thinking that somehow all this happiness he had received thanks to them would remain. That nobody will be hurt because of him. Maybe this is exactly the reason he has been alone all this time. Maybe everyone else knows something that he doesn't. Maybe... He actually is just a cursed being.

As his search through the school continued during the day, he was running around the entire time, trying to approach people and ask them questions. During the break, as he ran past the shaded path connecting the science labs with the homeroom classes buildings, he heard a familiar voice calling out to him and telling him to stop. It was Chanyeol, running towards him and reaching to stand behind him.

"Hey, Kyungsoo, what happened? I saw you looked like you're going to start crying in class earlier--- And it feels almost like you're avoiding me." He said with honesty. No... Kyungsoo wished Chanyeol would have never looked at him to begin with. Why is he wasting his time bothering to pay attention to him? Kyungsoo will just end up hurting him... He should leave.

"Sorry... There's something I must do." Kyungsoo replied quietly between his effortful breaths.  
"Did I do something to make you sad? Or to make you hate me? If i did, please tell me." Chanyeol pleaded, intensity in his voice. For once, Kyungsoo was glad that he couldn't see him. He felt so nervous his stomach was turning.   
"Y-You didn't do anything!" He responded right away. It's not Chanyeol's fault. It's his. "No matter... What happens in the future, I could never hate you. Never..." He added in a quiet voice.

Sounds of approaching students started coming near. It was getting dangerous, he would rather not risk Chanyeol by being seen anywhere near him.   
"I'm sorry." Kyungsoo exhaled before quickly heading off, hearing Chanyeol calling his name behind him again as he disappeared out of his range. It hurt.

Ah, how much he's going to miss hearing his name being said by Chanyeol's wonderful voice. Chanyeol never avoided him no matter how bad things were before... And yet, Kyungsoo's now doing it to him. To his one and only source of courage and inspiraion. He knew he had to, otherwise things will begin falling apart for Chanyeol too, and Kyungsoo can't have that happen to him. He wouldn't take the risk if it puts Chanyeol in harm's way.

He didn't want to avoid him. It's just better to stay away, even if Kyungsoo wanted to continue being by his side and experiencing his blinding smiles and incredible aura of strength. His feelings were starting to mix up now, between what Kyungsoo wanted for himself, what he wanted to achieve, and what he needed to do for his precious people's sake. Is it really the right thing to do? To stay away from them? It's so confusing, he couldn't tell anymore.

What is he supposed to do?

 

 

"...---soo! Kyungsoo!" His mother's voice woke him up from his sulk around the dining table. His apetite was gone ever since yesterday.   
"What's going on with you? You haven't taken a single bite!" She said with her usual worried expression. Kyungsoo's father also stared at him in the middle of his own bite. Ah, right, he has to be careful. He cannot let them know about what happened at school. They looked so proud and happy when he told them about how great things are going for him lately, that revealing this would only make them worry for no reason. He's got this. He will fix it somehow.

"Sorry, I keep daydreaming because we have an exam tomorrow." He mumbled quietly and placed his rice bowl down. "Oh hon. Good luck."   
"Thanks dad. Thanks for the meal." Kyungsoo replied and quickly left the table regardless of his parents' unsettled expressions about the fact that he hasn't eaten at all. He just couldn't bring himself to eat when he's worrying about how to face any of his close people at school the next morning. He wouldn't be able to look them in the eye.

But the morning came anyway, no matter how much Kyungsoo wished he wouldn't have to deal with any of what he had done. As he arrived to class he remembered that because there are exams today, they will be switching their seats to the original seat numbers that were given to them at the beginning of last year. According to the location of their name on the teacher's attendance list.

The class was filled with students, so it took him a little bit to realize that the person sitting in his current seat is none other than Jongdae. He was just sitting there quietly without complaining. No other student would have agreed to that. With all the rumours about Kyungsoo spreading around, and the way he made Baekhyun and Jongdae so sad due to these stories, he was convinced he will have to deal with the same chaos that happened last year during exam periods. Where nobody agreed to sit at his table at the front of the class with the fear of being cursed by getting bad luck during the exams, and failing them.

Now that he thought about it... Jongdae, Baekhyun and even Chanyeol, never showed any signs of disgust towards him like all the rest. Maybe they were a little spooked from his unexpected appearances from time to time, but they've never teased him or avoided him actively like the rest of the students in the school. They're so kind that even without knowing him at all they still treated him well.

His assigned exam seat was right at the middle of the class. Normally, he would greet his classmates good morning, or at least Jongdae and Baekhyun, but today he decided that as part of his plan to save them from being involved with him, he wouldn't.   
Sitting like this in a foreign spot, surrounded by the usual classmates who always fear him a lot, felt so different to sitting at his corner, that it's almost like he never sat there in the first place. Like nothing had actually changed at all. Like he was never actually there. Was it all just a dream?

He never wanted to cause anybody any harm. All Kyungsoo wanted to do was be of use to his fellow classmates. And yet now when things he does actually matter, he still hasn't found a proper way to clear up the misunderstanding about Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Chanyeol. Even if he will be able to find the people who actually are spreading the awful rumours and stop them from causing further damage, as long as he stays with them, he knew he will end up hurting them again somehow.

Hurting such kind and amazing people... He felt his stomach twisting just from thinking about how awful of a person he was for that. Will he ever find a way to heal the damage he had done to their feelings? Until he finds an answer, he will continue as planned. Distance himself from everyone altogether, like nothing ever happened, because that's the only reasonable way to keep them safe.

All he could hope was that Baekhyun managed to use the notes from Chanyeol's little tutoring session well. Kyungsoo even managed to memorize a little ghost story, he would have loved to let Jongdae be the first to hear him tell the tale, but... That'd not possible anymore. And Chanyeol... He...   
Something suddenly fell on top of his exam paper. Something light and shiny. Kyungsoo snapped back to reality ever so slightly, just to realize that his tears are starting to drip down on his sheet. Is it because he thought about not seeing Chanyeol smile at him ever again?

Kyungsoo was so happy, hanging out with Baekhyun, Jongdae, Chanyeol, even Sehun... It's everything he always dreamed of. Will he be able to go on without them? It felt like he had completely forgotten just how painfully deep loneliness can pierce through one's heart. It was so cruel... Now that he knew what it felt like to be treated kindly, to be meaningful, even just a little, to have a value in somebody else's life.

The fact that he knew what those feel like would continue to torture him from now on. He's going to want to achieve it again... It just felt so nice. How did he manage to survive all alone until they came into his life? How was he able to go on? He had forgotten his ways.

Somehow, Kyungsoo really wasn't sure how, but he managed to get through the exams. And it was a bittersweet feeling. He wouldn't have to stress about studying too much anymore, but... He wouldn't have anything, nobody to pass his free time with. He would have to do it all alone. Survive through the year until the next exams period that will keep him busy studying. He knew it's what he has to do, but isn't it so lame of him? Much like a machine waiting to be operated.

On his way home, he kept his eyes on the ground, it was easier to focus on his next step than to look at the sky and keep fantasizing about being able to reach the impossible. Out in the corner of his vision, he saw familiar shoes standing in a familiar spot at the curve of roads he passes by on his way to school every morning. Two times a week, through the entirety of summer vacation, these shoes were waiting for him at this exact spot. A slight raise of the head, and no more confirmation was needed. It was Chanyeol, standing and waiting for him there.

"I still dont understand. If you don't hate me... Then why are you avoiding me so coldly?" He asked, his voice fierce and intense as he stepped closer to Kyungsoo. Ending right in front of him to block his path. Kyungsoo's mind went blank for a moment, before he lowered his head, feeling how his entire body is beginning to tremble.

This is unfair. Chanyeol can't just come and stand so close to him like this. Doesn't he understand that this is dangerous? Doesn't he realize the source of all of his misery is right in front of him?

"Please... Don't talk to me." Kyungsoo replied in a weak voice. What is he going to say? What will he do? How is he supposed to explain to Chanyeol that even though he adores him more than anything that exists in his life, they must not interact? How is he supposed to stop himself from orbiting around his very own sun?

 

 

Kyungsoo inhaled sharply and opened his mouth to speak, to explain, to say anything at all, but all that happened were his tears bursting out with a little sob. Warm drops streaming down his cheeks. "I can't---! I'm trying but--- I can't say things that I don't really mean---!" Kyungsoo's words escaped between his sniffles from under the hands that are already covering his face.

His heart was beating out of control. He couldn't take it anymore.   
"I'm sorry that I ruined everything--- That I'm making you lose your popularity---" He continued to mumble incoherently. But before he could finish, Chanyeol's hands grabbed onto his own and pulled them away from his face. Surprised from the sudden move Kyungsoo stared up at Chanyeol wet and wide eyed.

"I can't understand what you're saying like this, please speak clearly!" Chanyeol looked nervous, worried, upset, intense, directly into Kyungsoo's eyes. He couldn't do anything but whimper before looking down again.   
"People said that if I'll be around you, you'll lose your good reputation--- I can't let that happen..." Kyungsoo attempted to explain with trembling lips.   
"Huh?! Who told you that?!" Chanyeol kept holding tight onto his hands, they're big, and warm.

"The spreading rumours---..."   
"Rumours?" Chanyeol's grip tightened even more. "Between the popularity and rumours... Where does my decision fit into this?" He then asked. Still sounding upset, but the question immediately shattered Kyungsoo's inner panic as he sniffed his tears in and stared up at Chanyeol in teary silence.

"This is not something for you to decide. Only I can choose these things about myself. I'm going to do things the way I want to." Chanyeol spoke intensely, but slowly released Kyungsoo's hands from the grip he had on them.   
"If I want to speak with you, I will. If I hadn't wanted to speak with you, I wouldn't be doing it right now." His voice began to ease down, but his expression remained serious.

"I don't care about rumours. The only Kyungsoo I know, is the one standing in front of me... The one I can see with my own two eyes." Chanyeol continued, and Kyungsoo's tears were long gone. Only their remains rested as shiny trails at the corners of his eyes and at the edges of his cheeks.

Chanyeol... He... He is the embodiment of everything Kyungsoo finds good in the world. People like him... Baekhyun, Jongdae... They elavate beyond shallow things like rumours and shifty looks. Kyungsoo had always dreamed of the day where someone he treasures will find him precious, too.

After a short silence, Chanyeol sighed thickly, then stepped aside and gestured his arm towards the path.   
"Let's go." He began walking, and Kyungsoo began digging into his bag to pull out his handkerchief, in an attempt to clear himself up a little. With the cloth in his hand, he looked up again, only to find out that Chanyeol actually stood in his spot and waited for him to begin walking as well, so they'd walk together.

He wasn't sure what to think, everything was a blur after hearing Chanyeol's words. He thought he knew so well what needed to be done, that he hadn't realized he was actually being selfish for not giving any of them a choice in the matter.

They've made it to a bench located a little further up their path, and as Kyungsoo sat down and began properly wiping away the remains of his unexpected sobs, Chanyeol left and returned with a fresh bottle of cold juice from the vending machine nearby.   
"Have you calmed down a little?" He asked, sitting beside Kyungsoo and sipping on his own juice immediately.

"Thank you... I was very thirsty." Kyungsoo admitted, and fiddled with his hand in his bag, taking out a few coins and handing them to Chanyeol right away, to pay back for the juice.   
"Thank you." He mumbled lightly again, before beginning to gulp on his juice eagerly.

He could hear, but couldn't see, while drinking, that Chanyeol was laughing. By the time he finally turned to look at him, Chanyeol was staring down at the coins in his palm with a tiny smile. It's crazy. Only moments ago Kyungsoo was in absolute despair, and yet now he feels like the world is bright again thanks to Chanyeol's smile. He's already way more cheerful than before, his heart had opened up a little. Hearing his honest words made him happy. Chanyeol basically said 'You can stay by my side.', just worded it differently.

Chanyeol then began inquiring some more about the situation, about the rumours and about why the atmosphere has been tense between Baekhyun, Jongdae and him for a while. Kyungsoo at this point really had nothing to hold back anymore, so he explained everything as best as he could.

"Ah, so that's why things have been so tense between you three..." He hummed after hearing the story.   
"How would you have felt if things were the other way around?" Chanyeol shot up the question at him, and Kyungsoo was a little taken aback. He hasn't even thought of a scenario in which it will happen.   
"What if Baekhyun, Jongdae and I would have started to distance ourselves from you?"

Imagining these three precious people suddenly turning their backs towards him coldly started up a trail of fear in his heart. He jerked lightly, trying to shake these thoughts away from his mind.   
"I'd hate that---..." He responded quickly, feeling nervous just from the thought of it happening. Even though there is no way for such a thing to happen, because Kyungsoo is in no way popular and kind and loved like the three of them are.   
"I... Want to stay together..." He mumbled in addition, noticing a smile growing on Chanyeol's lips as he turned to look at him.

"I feel the same way. Maybe the two of them do too." He said calmly. In the end, it always comes down to how the other person feels. Which is something Kyungsoo had completely forgotten to take into account in his decision to distance himself from them.

He was so worried about what everything would look like to others from the outside, that he selfishly assumed on his own that he knows the way they feel. He thought he was so right when thinking that their reputation within the school, the rumours, is what matters to them the most. Even if he would never imagine himself taking a place in anybody's list of priorities, he should have at least made sure that he gave them enough respect to share their true feelings with him, instead of deciding for them.

"I don't know exactly how they feel, but I'm pretty sure they'd start worrying if you suddenly start avoiding them. At least I know that I was worried." Chanyeol admitted, looking at his bottle of juice for a bit. He's right, and Kyungsoo understood it.   
"I'm sorry." Kyungsoo replied quietly, holding his own empty juice bottle in his hands.

"Never..." Chanyeol began. Huh? Is he not going to forgive him now? Has Kyungsoo really gone too far to turn the wheel again?   
"Never do it again. Absolutely never avoid me again. Even if you think what I say is boring, just stay and listen anyway. Got it?" Chanyeol continued, turning towards him with a wide grin of victory.

Many people in Kyungsoo's life had told him to never come near them in the past. To stay away, to get lost, to apologize for his rude glare, to keep away. And there Chanyeol was, telling him that he must not stay away from him anymore? This is the exact opposite of everything Kyungsoo has been learning to do through years of isolation. How come his own sun wants to keep him so close? Kyungsoo couldn't do much but comply and nod, mind blank with the void that lies between unanswered questions.

But he knew now. He knew what needs to be done.

"I have... I have to tell Baekhyun and Jongdae." Kyungoo mumbled quietly. Will it be enough to just tell them? Will he be able to convey his feelings solely through words? It clearly didn't work well the last time they asked him something directly. He really wanted to tell them, though. He wanted them to understand how he really felt towards them.

"Just don't forget that you already have someone to talk to, if you'd like." Chanyeol announced with a smile, leaning back on the bench and spreading his arms on the back of it while looking at Kyungsoo.

"I will tell them everything tomorrow. I... don't want to just be their classmate. I want to become their friend---... Or--- I will try my best to become their friend." Kyungsoo tugged tightly to the edges of his own shirt as he watched Chanyeol get up and turn to continue walking. He joined in, the two of them began to slowly make their way back home together. Ah, he said it. He was able to say what he truly wanted.

"Good," Chanyeol replied, hands in his pockets and his head turned towards the sky. A calm breeze flew through the air, and in Kyungsoo's eyes, Chanyeol looked like a character that came straight out of a love comic. He's so amazing.   
"I'm rooting for you." Chanyeol finished his sentence with a smile. With this encouragement, Kyungsoo felt like he could do anything. He is the luckiest person in the world.

With his heart back in balance, with the relief of knowing that Chanyeol is aware of the truth and has chosen to still allow Kyungsoo to freely interacting with him, he will build the strength to do the same with Baekhyun and Jongdae. The main victims of his years long legacy of being the target of rumours. He will do it. Against all odds if he has to.

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

 

Kyungsoo is going to do it. Somehow, he will solve this mess, and he will make sure that Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Chanyeol wouldn't get hurt from something that revolves solely around him anymore. They don't deserve any of this, and he will do whatever it takes to bring things back to the way they were. Where no matter what happens with him, at least they will be alright.

He was so confident and secure with his thoughts about the way he felt. After a night of evaluating Chanyeol's words and thinking deeply about what has been going on, he came up stronger than before.

All he needed was to hear Chanyeol, to learn about how important it is to make sure to listen to everything a person has to say, about how he should be honest with himself, about giving everyone the choice to decide for themselves rather than try to fix everything on his own. His conversation with Chanyeol really helped him.

And yet... Now that he's sitting in the toilet before class, waiting for the day to begin, he can't help but worry terribly about whether or not Baekhyun and Jongdae would even want to speak with him at all when they see him. He wouldn't blame them even if they choose to keep away from him. Whatever happens to him is none of their concern. He will handle it. But deep down in his heart, with his true thoughts and feelings towards them, he hopes that they will at least continue to aknowledge his existence.

He's feeling nervous and worried that it may still be a better idea to speak with them about it in a more private surrounding so that perhaps, if there's a chance they really don't want to be seen talking with him, he wouldn't be causing them any harm. For that sake, maybe he should try to talk with them after school? Maybe he should slide them a note during class? Since they sit at the back there's no way other students would notice it, right?

Though, what if they will be too busy going home and trying to study for the next upcoming exams happening really soon? Maybe he should wait with this a little longer for a time where they wouldn't have anything to do. But then, how will he know when they don't have anything to do if he wouldn't be able to speak with them?

No, this is stupid. He is falling back into the same trap he caged himself in before. He cannot just assume these things for somebody else without asking them about their feelings first. Just like he wouldn't want for them to hold back anything they have to say to him. He will have to be strong and confront his own fears to get through with it. But for their sake, he will. They will definitely listen to what he has to say. These are his true feelings after all.

"...-shio?" A voice awakened him from his worries.   
"Ahh~ You mean the creepy Doshio kid with his two helpers?" Another unfamiliar voice asks. Oh god. People are still talking. He can't allow this to continue anymore. Now is his chance to stop the rumours before the escalate. He has to take it.

With a whiff of confidence he stepped out of the cell, finding a group of guys from different classes of his grade standing there. He inhaled sharply, feeling his body tensing a little bit.

"This is all wrong! It's all lies, they aren't really helping me... Baekhyun and Jongdae are kind and nice and---" Kyungsoo began to explain, hoping he could reach them somehow and possibly prevent bad words to pass further. But instead, the group exchanged glances between itself, and began approaching him, forcing him to step back until his back bumped against the wall. He didn't want a confrontation.

The tallest in the group slammed his palm right beside his head and leaned closer to his face.  
"Shut up already. Little Doshio, you mean Jongdae the criminal and Baekhyun the whore?" He said, his breath stinking from cigarettes, and Kyungsoo's body froze with fear and stress. However, hearing him say such degrading terms about the two precious people who treated him so kindly, set off a new burning feeling inside of Kyungsoo's chest. His hand clenched into a fist beside his body. It was anger.

But instead, he unhinged his hand, and placed his palm on the back of the guy's arm lightly.  
"Huh? What's this? Let go of me." The guy teased.   
"Take it back. Take back what you said. It isn't true." Kyungsoo insisted, serious wearing on his face. The guy just laughed right in his face.   
"Are you hearing this?" He hummed at his group, the rest of the guys started laughing coldly.

"Baekhyun and Jongdae are nothing like what you say they are. You'll hurt them if you keep saying such terrible things about them!" Kyungsoo spoke confidently, meaning every word he says. He really wanted to convince them and make them understand the truth.

The guy removed his hand from the wall, and instead placed both of his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders, grabbing him and pushing him sideways against the sinks.   
"You're one to talk!" The sinks got pushed right into Kyungsoo's side, which crumbled him down as a result of the sharp pain, and made him fall to the floor with a gasp.

"They're nice? Their feelings will get hurt? I'm surprised you have the guts to say that. Aren't you the one who started all these rumours to begin with?" The guy stiid above him, arms crossed.   
"Huh...? Me...? Who...?" Kyungsoo mumbled in pained surprise. The guy didn't seem to like his confusion, he leaned down and grabbed onto his collar with a fist, pulling him forward in a tightly uncomfortable manner which caused Kyungsoo to wince.

"Don't play innocent now, you prick, you're the one who began spreading these rumours! Don't act like you had nothing to do with it, Doshio!" He shouted at his face, his breath really did stink so bad. Kyungsoo wanted to be freed. He even held onto the guy's back of the hand to hopefully release himself. But more than anything, he was pretty shocked to learn that these students think it was him who began saying such horrible things.

"It doesn't make any sense! Why would I say anything bad about these two? They've been nothing but kind to me! There's nothing bad about them at all! They're nice and cool---" Kyungsoo began explaining nervously, but the guy just let him go and rose back up to his feet. He even patted his hands on his knees to clean them from being placed on the bathroom's floor on which Kyungsoo's sitting.   
"You see, we don't give a shit." He said coldly, and stomped the sole of his shoe on Kyungsoo's chest pretty hard, causing him to fall backwards against the floor and knock the back of his head on the tiles. It hurt. He winced lightly, looking at the guy in disbelief. The dirt on the bottom of his shoe was smearing all over Kyungsoo's school uniform.

"I'm pretty sure the two of them began hanging out with you just for fun... But they're bored with you now. And you are bored of them, too. That's why you started these rumours, isn't it?" The guy began talking, his shoe pushing harder against Kyungsoo's chest on the floor, and he started feeling claustrophobic from being surrounded by so many guys like that above him. A real sense of danger.   
"You got close to them in order to reach Chanyeol, didn't you? That's why you don't need them anymore. You're such a brat. Why won't you be a good boy and stay away from everyone again?" The guy went on, pushing harder, Kyungsoo's chest tightened. "Once you do that, we'll leave you alone--"

"You're wrong!" Kyungsoo cut him off.   
"I don't care whether or not you leave me alone. So just take back what you said about them!" He spoke with renewed confidence, although he was clearly nervous. He couldn't allow this to continue. Whatever it'd take, even if it'd be his own safety on the line, he will protect them, he will make sure the people who were so kind to him won't have to suffer anymore.

"Huh? Who the hell do you think you ar---"   
"Everything! Take it back! It's all lies! You don't understand anything!" He kept insisting. Kyungsoo wouldn't let them continue spreading these harmful words around.   
The guys surrounding him looked at him pretty surprised. Even though everyone avoided Kyungsoo all this time... Baekhyun and Jongdae were so kind to him. They were never afraid. So he shouldn't be afraid of standing against evil and insisting on what he believes in. He'll protect the truth.

"You don't know---... How much I like them--- No... How much I love them." Kyungsoo said, now in a more quiet manner, his body felt loose, exhausted from the constant pressure on his chest. Even though he was being pressed down, finally expressing these feelings out loud truthfully felt like a ton a weight had been removed from his heart.

He knew what's going to happen next. And already came to terms with it. With his vision slightly blurred due his eyes being damp from the emotions he expressed, it felt like everything went in slowmotion. He saw the guy raising his arm in a fist and aiming at him. Knowing what's coming, Kyungsoo shut his eyes and accepted his fate. This is the price he is willing to pay in order to restore the safety of those he loves.

 

 

Except, instead of a punch to the face, he felt an arm wrapping around him, and the weight of the guy's shoe removed from his body.

As he opened his eyes, he saw Baekhyun standing in front of him, blocking the guy's punch and making him lose balance from having his leg thrown off of Kyungsoo. Beside him, kneeled Jongdae, who helped him rise back up from the floor of the toilet by hugging around him and carefully pulling him back on his feet.

The guy regained his balance and looked at Baekhyun angrily.   
"Baekhyun! What the hell?! You're going to stand up to him even after all the rumours he started?!" He shouted, the guys around have began dwindling in numbers and leaving the toilet in quiet fear of getting in serious trouble.   
"It wasn't Kyungsoo." Baekhyun replied immediately.   
"There's no way he'd do something like that." Jongdae added with a fierce expression towards the dude. While making sure Kyungsoo was standing up properly.

"You idiots, what the---" The guy insisted.   
"That's what we believe. So everything's fine." Jongdae cut his words off coldly, and Baekhyun stepped forward, placing his hand on the guy's shoulder and pushing him back harshly.   
"Move along now." Kyungsoo could only see Baekhyun's back, but he easily felt just how intimidating his seriousness can be.

"This has nothing to do with you two, there's something I want to tell Doshio---" The guy stood his ground in front of Baekhyun. But that was clearly not a clever decision, as Baekhyun stepped and leaned even closer to his face, smiling at him widely, with his eyes looking colder than ice.  
"Huh? You think you can win this? Let alone me, but you think a dangerous criminal like Jongdae would go easy on you if you cross against him?" He said in a scary teasing manner.

"You lay your finger on Kyungsoo again and we won't let you walk off harm free." Baekhyun threatened while punching into his own palm with his fist in front of the guy's face. He, and the very few guys who remained in the bathroom looked pretty spooked at the display.   
"W-Whatever. Let's get the hell out..." The guy mumbled as he began turning to leave.

"Ahem Ahem!" Jongdae coughed loudly on purpose, his arms crossed, and his eyes sharp as knives directed right at the guy's face.   
"You're so damn annoying--- Fine! I get it! I take it back! Happy now?!" He shouted back at them before leaving the toilet as well.

It was silent for a while, Kyungsoo slowly started returning back to his senses. Until now, his mind was too stunned to provide any proper thoughts. Did... Did the group of guys actually understand him then? Does it mean they will no longer continue spreading the horrible rumours about Baekhyun and Jongdae?

"They... Got it? I think they understand now! They won't say bad things about you anymore! I'm so glad..." Kyungsoo finally spoke as a smile spread on his face, breaking the silence. Both Baekhyun and Jongdae just stared at him quietly for several moments.   
"It's fine... Kyungsoo." Jongdae said quietly. Although this event was successful, for some reason the two of them don't look happy at all.   
"We don't care about these things. Rumours are nothing." Baekhyun added, and it was quiet again. The toilet which was filled with so much fear and so many worries moments ago, is now so mellow.

"T-Thank you... For believing me." Kyungsoo then said shakingly. He was seriously grateful. For the two of them helping him now, for them becoming such important people in his life, for them treating him so kindly, for the fact that they believe him even against all odds. They truly are amazing. Better people than he could have wished to get to know in his life.

"I thought I'd be able to clear everything on my own... I thought there was no other way. I just messed up again. This is what my mind always turns to... This is how I've always had to behave... Everyone always said so. Even though I really wanted to get along with them." Kyungsoo wanted to tell them everything. Which includes the reason he did what he did.   
"Just because it never went differently, and nothing ever changed, and I was still repeatedly pushed aside and disregarded, a part of me had already given up." He began to explain. If he has a chance to speak his mind for the two of them to listen, it has to be now. He has to seize this opportunity.

"And with all that--- I still... Couldn't give up on the both of you. I knew that rumours would come up about you two if I stayed by your side, and that you'll get hurt because of me. But even then, I couldn't let you two go." He continued, struggling to speak, but his will power kept him going. His heart was beating fast in his chest, but he blocked off his scared side of mind, and just allowed his heart to speak out to them. He's got nothing to hold back anymore.

"I didn't know what to do and how to help you cheer up when I saw you were feeling down. And I know I'm a good for nothing type of person--- But, I still want to be with you two. Just like we were---" No. He doesn't want things to return to the way they were. He thought he did, but it's not true, and if there's any good time to be honest with himself, it's now.   
"No..." He tugged to the edges of his smeared uniform shirt and looked down, his hair hiding his eyes from view.

"I want to be even closer to you two than we were before---... If, if any more bad rumours come up, I'll try my best to stop them no matter what it takes." He went on. Wasn't he being really selfish right now? Dumping all of this on the two of them. And yet they were both standing there and listening to every word he was saying. If it's like this, then he has to say it. He can't keep it to himself anymore.

"I want to become friends with you--- Baekhyun, Jongdae!" He finally announced, putting his biggest wish out in the air.   
He lowered his head even further down. His heart and mind spiraling into chaos of possibilities, fears, and doubts, but also hope, acceptance, and relief. He's done it. He said it. Wishes are usually the heart's deepest desired, they are meant to remain deep down and get fulfilled through actions. But in this case, he put out his entire heart for them to see, and although he knew he's being greedy and selfish for wanting this much, he had to do it. He's a human too, after all. No matter how much other people want to believe otherwise.

It got quiet for a few long moments afterwards. The acoustics in the toilet numbed down even the sounds of the world outside. There's so much going on inside his head, and so much pumping through his heart. Right now, at his most vulnerable state to date, he's at the mercy of Baekhyun and Jongdae.

He has to be prepared for the possibility of rejection. Not everything in life will got according to his wishes. Actually, nothing in his life has ever went according to his wishes so far, so technically, he is probably more prepared for the rejection mentally than he is for the chance of his feelings being returned in the form he expressed.

 

 

"Kyungsoo... You thought we were hurt because of the stupid rumours? You thought that if you were with us, you'd end up hurting us?" Jongdae spoke first. Suddenly Kyungsoo started missing the silence. He's utterly terrified of facing the consequences of his confession.   
"And you still wanted to be with us. Is that what you were so hurt from?" Jongdae asked quietly. Kyungsoo slowly raised his head to look at the two of them, but instead, he saw them step closer to him.

"A-Ah--- Wait--- I'm all dirty because of the toile---" He began mumbling lightly. If they get any closer they will make their own uniforms dirty as well. But two pairs of arms wrapped tightly around his body and held him tighter than he ever knew he could be held. He was speechless.

"You're such an idiot---!" Baekhyun then burst in a shaky voice, tears streaming down his cheeks as he began wailing loudly when pulling back from the hug. He tried wiping his face with his own sleeves like a little kid.   
"Who's the real idiot here..." Jongdae sighed before smacking Baekhyun on the back and turning towards Kyungsoo again.   
"We're sorry, Kyungsoo, for doubting you even for a moment. Baekhyun feels very ashamed..." He snuck a teasing glance at the other. "I doooo!" He whined out some more. "And I do too." Jongdae admitted quietly.

"Kyungsooooo--!" Baekhyun sniffed, before finally opening his eyes and stepping closer, placing both his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders gently.   
"Please don't feel alone again! We care about you so much," He began, eyes shiny with tears and lips quivering. "You said you wanted to be our friend... But you're really an idiot! Kyungsoo... You don't ask such a thing--- At the moment you realize you want that, it's already true!" He sniffed with a confident expression. "We've been friends all along!"

It took him a few seconds to comprehend Baekhyun's words, but as he realized that all this time he had been worrying and fussing so much over something that was already so obvious for the two of them, he really did feel like a big fool. But he also felt true happiness. Warmth spread all through his body when looking at the two of them starting to banter with each other after working so hard to explain everything to him, like a child learning how to walk for the first time.

"I---..." Kyungsoo began talking again, his heart's pumping hard in his chest, and his words were slightly choked. The two's attention immediately directed to him.   
"I learned a ghost story--- By the way..." He said, watching how their expressions shift from a surprise into wide smiles as they both wrapped their arms around his back and began laughing.

Baekhyun and Jongdae. His very first true friends.

As they finally stepped out of the toilet, after attempting to clean Kyungsoo's uniform up as much as possible, the three of them found Chanyeol standing by the wall near the entrance on his own. He turned to look at them and smiled warmly.   
"I managed to scatter the crowd before you came out. Everything went well, I'm glad." He said calmly in their direction, but his eyes were locked solely with Kyungsoo's. His words were meant for him.

Kyungsoo's really grateful. Thanks to Chanyeol's encouragements, thanks to him allowing Kyungsoo to open up and speak truthfully about his thoughts and feelings, he was able to do this on his own. He was able to push through because Chanyeol's words 'Do your best. Do your best!' kept echoing in his head the whole time, and he knew it was what he had to do. Another wave of warmth washed over his body.

There was so much he wanted to tell Chanyeol. So many things he wanted to express and explain and let him know. But with everything crowding his mind, it was difficult to form any words at all.   
"Thank you, Chanyeol." He finally said, an honest smile of happiness spread across his face.

Suddenly, Baekhyun and Jongdae stepped beside him and turned to look at his face from up close with curiousity. As Chanyeol's expression had turned from a smile to a surprise, and then to something Kyungsoo wasn't sure what was. Chanyeol placed his wrist over his nose, half hiding a part of his face with a pout and looked sideways nervously. His ears were shaded in deep pink, too.   
"Whaaaa Kyungsoo is smiling again!" Jongdae called out loudly and poked Kyungsoo's cheek with his finger gently, causing him to chuckle before pouting jokingly.

The three of them continued laughing as they began heading away and back to class. Leaving Chanyeol looking at them from behind on his own.

 

 

Things have brightened up. And the exam period had finally came to an end. Sadly, Kyungsoo's grades have suffered a little due to the whole situation, but the atmosphere was still lovely and bright. The way people look at him at school had also changed a little for the better. At least no more nasty rumours were spreading anymore.

"Hey, Kyungsoo, let's go out to eat something today! To celebrate our success!" Baekhyun called out to him while packing his bag to leave at the end of the day.   
"Really? I can come too?" Kyungsoo asked in thrilled surprise, already starting to pack his things as well.   
"Ah that's right! You have to tell us the ghost story you've learned as well." Jongdae reminded him with a smile, as Baekhyun's face went pale.   
"Please, no..."   
"Aaaah why~ Come on! It'll be fun!" Jongdae teased him as the three of them got up from their seats and greeted Sehun goodbye.

"Do you have any money on you? If not, I could pay for you today." Baekhyun hummed as they were about to leave the classroom.   
"I've got a little bit, it'll be enough." Kyungsoo replied, and out of instinct, turned to look back at the class.

However, his eyes met with Chanyeol's. Who was staring at him as well. Ah, Chanyeol, the best person in the whole world. The person that was able to give him enough strength to push through all the struggles he had to handle before. The person that managed to pull him out of his own personal hell, and pushed him hard enough to thrive. He's so thankful. And automatically, his face turned into a warm smile before bowing politely to signal his leave. He wasn't sure, because he turned back to leave the classroom right away, but he thought he saw Chanyeol's eyes widen in surprise at the sight of his smile.

Baekhyun and Jongdae have become such precious people to him. They brighten his life so much. He was able to do things he would have never thought of doing on his own. He got to experience new exciting activities that'll remain in his memories as little sparkling gems of joy.

As they headed out to the restaurant, a voice suddenly called from behind them.  
"Kyungsoooo!" It was Yerim, waving and rushing over towards the three of them. She smiled up at Baekhyun and Jongdae widely, then winked at Kyungsoo.   
"I'm glad your wish had come true!" She was honest, and truly happy for him. Kyungsoo could tell from the way her eyes were shining.   
"Please take good care of Kyungsoo!" She smiled at the other two with a small bow, and rushed off to a taller girl, a friend of hers from class, that immediately wrapped an arm around his waist when she stood beside her. Kyungsoo waved at her lightly.

"Hey~ Kyungsoo~" Baekhyun and Jongdae both turned to look at him with slightly creepy yet funny expressions.   
"If you said you didn't like us before... Then how do you feel about us now?" Baekhyun teased him. Kyungsoo knew what they mean, when they've asked him before he couldn't bring himself to be fully honest because he was worried for their safety. So it must have been deeply misunderstood by them.

Kyungsoo stiffened up and felt the blood rush in his veins from shyness. He has no excuses now. He knows they all comply to the policy of honesty after all they've been through.   
"W-Well---... I... I love you." He managed to mumble after some struggle.

They both looked at each other for a moment, then smiled, and it seemed like hearing Kyungsoo say that made the two of them laugh warmly.   
"Good! We love you too!" They said almost in unison, which now made Kyungsoo laugh. Happiness washed over him in a wave of ease, and he felt how his heart by now had already adjusted to beating slightly faster for the sake of containing all of these new bright emotions he's feeling.

They continued on, Baekhyun and Jongdae began bantering about which food they want to eat, and which restaurant contains that food so that they could go there and everyone will be pleased.

 

 

The place decided was none other than the most simple sushi place located right at the entrance of town. It seems the three of them have had enough excitements for one exam period, and the familiar taste of the sushi would be comforting enough to calm them down. Kyungsoo had only ever been here a few times with his parents, so being independent and spending time with his friends like this after school hours was pretty exciting.

Jongdae and Kyungsoo ordered their combinations almost immediately, while Baekhyun was struggling for a little while longer to decide everything for himself. Kyungsoo was sure they'd all just be eating their own meals like he's used to, but when the food arrived to their table, both Baekhyun and Jongdae placed their plates at the center of the table and looked at him expectantly.

"Place your plate here, that way it'll be easier for everyone to reach." Jongdae explained when he realized Kyungsoo was confused as to what to do. That... Was such a genius idea. That way everyone are able to try all the different flavours and share together instead of eat all alone together.

At first it took him a while of hesitation to pick any piece of sushi that didn't belong in his own plate, but once Baekhyun had reached out and placed one of his own pieces right in front of Kyungsoo's mouth with a smile, he knew he has nothing to worry about anymore. A little shyly, he took it in his mouth, watching how both Baekhyun and Jongdae grinned with satisfaction to see him chew and praise the flavour.

In the end, Kyungsoo ended up tasting everything that could have been tasted, and it was great. It was so delicious. Though, he knew deep down that what made this meal really delicious was the company.

He thought it'd be easy to finish off because they had such a great time, but at the moment the waitress arrived with the bill the air became extremely tense. Each of the three of them insisted as hard as possible on paying for them all. Well, it was mainly Baekhyun and Jongdae bickering and whining about, giving random unrelated excuses as to why they should be the one paying and not the other. Kyungsoo hoped that this would give him the chance to slide over and pay himself. So he tried to sneak by with his wallet.

But it wasn't sneaky enough, and definitely not quick enough, because at the moment the waitress came to pick the payment, Jongdae managed to outspeed them both and hand her his card. Baekhyun grumped out with a whiney rain of complaints, but Kyungsoo was more surprised from the fact that Jongdae has his own credit card at all to begin with. He's so mature and self sufficient. Maybe something about the rumours was true after all, the fact that Jongdae's so incredible that he leaves people questioning just what else he will be able to pull out his sleeve if needed.

By the time they were done eating and fighting for the pay, it was already the middle of the afternoon.   
"So delicioussss!" Baekhyun hummed, stretching his arms up and scrunching his nose with the pleasure of satisfaction from the food. The three of them stood at the entrance of the restaurant for a few moments, wondering what should be done next. Will they head back home now? Kyungsoo was already starting to exceed his social capacity for the day.

These have been pretty draining few days, and considering the fact that his uniform still has hints showing about the fact it has been stepped on even after it's been washed at least twice, doesn't really work well with his already existing worry of spending time in public.

Without much thought, they began making their way back out of town and towards the direction of their residential living blocks. It was a nice pleasant afternoon, even when walking under the sun. Eventually, they came by a small children's park that looked pretty much empty. Baekhyun and Jongdae exchanged a glance between one another, then both at once suddenly ran towards the swings   
"Aaaaahhhh!!!" Baekhyun shouted as he reached them first and hung on top of one of the bigger swing on his stomach. Looking like a dog stuck over an obstacle with the way his limbs dangled down.

Jongdae burst out in laughter at his ridiculous position and smacked his butt before sitting down on the other empty swing, shooting a smile towards Kyungsoo. Who, out of surprise, remained standing in his spot for a few more seconds before stepping in and sitting down sideways on the rocking horse shaped like a little dinosaur.

"Been so long since we've come here." Jongdae said, looking up at the sky for a few moments before swinging himself lightly back and forth with his feet touching the ground.   
"Has it really? Damn. I didn't even realize we're already sophomores... Feels like highschool only started." Baekhyun sat himself on the large swing and crossed his legs, sitting like a pretzel on top of it.  
"Hey, don't exaggerate, we literally just finished this year's first exam period." Jongdae pouted in his direction.

Whoa... The two of them talk with each other so freely. They're never afraid to say what's on their mind, how they feel, and even call each other out on things that they say. To Kyungsoo it looked like the ideal connection of friendship. Nothing can top just how deeply he could tell these two souls are linked for life. It's incredible.

The way they interact with each other would make anyone think that they've spent their entire lives together already. They are the perfect display of the proper way to use communication in all of its forms to build a solid base for a friendship to grow on. He could tell that the two of them would take a bullet for one another if they had to. Even more, they'd start fighting about who should be taking the bullet because they'd want to take it for the other's sake.

As someone who's never had these sorts of conenctions to people before, not even his own parents, Kyungsoo couldn't do much but be awed by the way their beings just flow with one another together.

Will he ever be able to achieve something similar with anybody? Just thinking about the fact that the three of them are now considered actual friends made Kyungsoo's heart jump in his chest with subtle excitement and anticipation. There's so much he still has to learn when it comes to properly being around people. Or rather, be a part of people. He's never been a part of something social before, so thinking about what the future might hold, although he believed he did not deserve any of it, still made him anticipate it.

He hoped a bright future will hurry up and shine on him.

"What about you Kyungsoo?" Jongdae turned to look at him after chatting with Baekhyun for a while, but Kyungsoo was lost in his thoughts about them that he wasn't paying attention to what they were saying, and didn't know what the question was about at all.   
"A-Ah... I don't..." He mumbled helplessly, feeling nervous that he's going to disappoint them by failing to keep track of their conversation.

Baekhyun laughed at the puzzled expression Kyungsoo must have had on his face, and smiled gently.   
"What is it? You look so lost." He's right, Kyungsoo really was lost. He's filled with so many new emotions that he didn't know how to handle, so he distracted himself from the present to keep fantasizing about the future.

"I was just thinking about how well you two know each other. Must have been friends for year." Kyungsoo looked at them curiously, hoping to hear some more of their many years of adventure together.   
"Huh? What are you talking about? We only met in highschool." Baekhyun replied with a little pout and began swinging his own swing with his own body weight, leaning back and forth. Kyungsoo was quite shocked to say the least, from the revalation of that fact.

"R-Really? Then how...?" He mumbled wide eyes, and Jongdae shrugged his shoulders while turning to look at Baekhyun.   
"We ended up standing together at the entrance ceremony. Baekhyun introduced himself to me, and I thought the way he shook my hand so wildly was silly, so I told him." Jongdae began recalling. Baekhyun stuck out his tongue in Jongdae's direction at the mention of the handshake.   
"It wasn't that bad, I was nervous, okay?" He attempted to defend himself, resulting in the both of them chuckling.   
"And... We ended up in the same class together, even sitting behind one another, so we became friends." Jongdae concluded.

 

 

Kyungsoo sat there and stared at them with anticipation. Yes, this is how it began, but then, what did they... Do? How did they just, become friends like that out of the blue? How could it happen so quickly? He looked at them waiting to hear the rest of the story.

"What? That's it, that's how we became friends." Baekhyun repeated. Huh? Is that all? It doesn't make any sense, how could they become friends so fast?   
"Wait... That is all? It was so fast and simple?" Kyungsoo asked, his mind unable to come to terms with the fact that the process of becoming friends was this quick for them.   
"Duh. How'd you think people usually make friends? It can happen after a single conversation." Baekhyun smiled, raising his finger up in the air knowingly, as if he's passing his knowledge over to Kyungsoo.

Which, for Kyungsoo, was absolutely true. Baekhyun really was passing incredible knowledge down to him. All his life Kyungsoo had struggled making friends due to the beliefs everyone had towards him and his 'Doshio' reputation. He thought making friends is something that must be taking years to achieve.

But... After a single conversation? Is that even possible? Kyungsoo's conversations with people always resulted in them running away from him or demanding him to stay away from them. Wow, Baekhyun and Jongdae really are beyond how incredible he thought they were, if they're able to make friends with people so effortlessly.

"I think we threw him into a loop." Jongdae mumbled towards Baekhyun, who let out a short laughter.   
"Hey, Kyungsoo, making friends is easy. But keeping friends, becoming good friends, and staying together is what really matters." He explained calmly. "Friendship takes time, patience, and effort. And I hope you know that we're more than willing to invest all of it for you. Just like you have for us." Jongdae concluded with a gentle warm smile.

Every word they said flew right into Kyungsoo's heart. He understood exactly what they were saying, and what's the meaning behind their explanation. He never thought he'd be able to understand such a thing, since he's never got to experience what it's like for someone to invest all of these things in him.

But he knew now. And he will continue learning how to do the same, but even better, in the future. The passage of time will result in more opportunities for him to give them his efforts, and accept them as they are with patience. That's what it means, right? He understood it now. He just hoped that he'll be able to feel what it's like as well.

"Let's be friends for a long time, yes?" Baekhyun then grinned and sent his arm forward, his pinky finger wiggling from his palm.   
"This is so cheesy, brings me back to kindergarten." Jongdae laughed, stretching his own arm and wrapping his pinky finger around Baekhyun's.

Kyungsoo stared at their hands for a moment, then at their faces. Both of them were looking at him warmly, gentle smiles filled with anticipation and joy. He... He's blessed. He's so happy right now. A pinky promise is something that can never be broken, just like he saw in the many movies he watched alone in his childhood. He felt his cheeks heating up together with the increase of his heartbeat, but swallowed his fears anyway.

Shakingly, he reached his own arm out, and tangled his own pinky together with theirs.   
"L-Let's be friends...!" He mumbled, his voice too weak to sound anywhere near as confident as he intended, but it made the two of them laugh happily before raising their hands up in the air together.   
"For us!" They chanted in unison before cheering with funny howling noises.   
"For us..." Kyungsoo's eyes remained on the blue skies spreading above them.

Now that they've promised this, and the world is their witness, he will have to work harder to prove that he's good enough, and worthy of this new given rank he'd achieved. So making friends is like this. He wondered which other people would ever become friends with him. Unsurprisingly, his mind directed itself onto one person in particular.

So much had changed since he got to meet Chanyeol. His life started expanding in directions he'd never known before. Kyungsoo hoped that one day he will be able to grow worthy enough to achieve a friendship with Chanyeol too. To become Chanyeol's friend... It sounded like a far fetched dream.

But it still brought him joy, and filled him with a brighter version of hope for the future. Thanks to Chanyeol he was able to come this far. Just how much further is he going to reach?

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

 

"Hey~ Do you have some free time now?" Chanyeol seemed pretty hopeful for a yes from Kyungsoo. The two of them, along with the rest of their classmates, have already began packing up their bags as it is the end of the school day and they are all free to roam. Kyungsoo didn't really know what it was about, but it still surprised him to see just how much anticipation there was behind Chanyeol's big eyed smile. He's so cute.

"I do." He replied, slightly confused, seeing Chanyeol's face form a satisfied grin.   
"Good! I want you to meet an old friend again." Meet an old friend...? This is even more confusing that he had initially thought. Especially because Kyungsoo has no friends other than Baekhyun and Jongdae. And maybe Junmyeon, but he never really established that with him.

He still packed his bag, greeted Sehun, Baekhyun and Jongdae goodbye, while standing and waiting for Chanyeol to finish talking with his friends by the school's gate. His mind still trying to make the rounds and come up with who might he be meeting. Of course it's also about the fact that Chanyeol had individually invited him for that occasion and nobody else, but meeting people he doesn't expect to meet is even more stressful than spending some time with Chanyeol.

"What's with that serious face?" Chanyeol leaned down slightly beside him from behind, and chuckled as Kyungsoo jerked lightly in surprise and touched his own face with the tips of his fingers.   
"O-Oh... I'm just not sure who we are going to meet." He explained as they began walking together in the town's direction.   
"Sorry, I could have been more clear. I know it can be intimidating for you." Chanyeol admitted, looking at him apologetically. "Remember the kitten you've saved from the rain?"

Kyungsoo's eyes widened a little.   
"I do." He nodded quickly. That kitten was so adorable and soft looking. It feels like it happened so long ago, because he hasn't had the time to think of the kitten's well being anymore.   
"We're going to visit him today! And his owner, of course. My friend." Chanyeol smiled warmly in his direction, and Kyungsoo wasn't sure if he feels happiness due to the relief of knowing the kitten found a loving home with Chanyeol's friend, or if Chanyeol's smiles just lift his spirit so much that they cure all worries in an instant.

Sooner than Kyungsoo was able to prepare himself for meeting one of Chanyeol's friends for the first time, they've already made it. Standing in front of a large apartment complex located quite near the town's main road. It even had a parking lot right underneath.

After climbing some clean stairs they've made it to a door of apartment 2199. There was a little sign hanging on the door with a decorative adorable writing of 'The Kims'. Kyungsoo really had no idea what to expect when Chanyeol rang the doorbell and smiled down at him in a reassuring manner. He's really trying to make this a pleasant experience for Kyungsoo. Chanyeol is just so considerate and kind... Kyungsoo will do his best to have a good time for him.

The door opened less than thirty seconds after they announced their arrival via the bell, and there stood a young man in an oversized sweater, sport shorts and a wide eyed smile. He was so... Cute. His eyes were big and foxy, his nose small like a button and his entire face looked like one of a child even younger than the two of them. Kyungsoo was surprised, but at the same time not surprised at all from the fact that Chanyeol, who's the giant handsome prince of everybody's hearts, would be friends with a guy that looks like he could cute his way into the most secret of hidden facility bases in the world.

"Welcome! Come, come." The man's voice fit with his appearance perfectly. Kyungsoo felt almost foreign, having these two breathtaking men in his vicinity. Chanyeol, followed by Kyungsoo, entered the apartment and took off their shoes before stepping inside right into the sparkly clean and spacious living room.

The owner of the apartment, after exchanging a hug with Chanyeol, turned to Kyungsoo with a smile.   
"Nice to meet you! You're Kyungsoo, right? The one who kept my new best friend safe in the rain?" He asked cheerfully, and Kyungsoo's heart felt a little warmer from the terms he had used to describe the kitten in question.   
"A-Ah, yes." He shook the man's hand.   
"I'm Minseok, very glad you could make it."

Chanyeol had already made himself comfortable on the couch, and as Minseok sat down on the armchair beside it, Kyungsoo spotted a little movement of a furred tail moving nearby. Is it...?

"Tannie! Look who it is!" Minseok called out, turning in his seat and pulled the kitten in his hands like a baby.   
"I named him Tan." He smiled at Kyungsoo who finally sat down on the other edge of the fairly small couch beside Chanyeol.   
"He grew so much!" Chanyeol sounded impressed, reaching a hand out towards Tan's face to stroke him. Minseok laughed lightly but then gave Chanyeol an unhappy pout.   
"If you came to visit more often you would have known!"

After a short awkward laughter coming from Chanyeol, Minseok stood up and lightly dropped Tan on top of Chanyeol's lap. Kyungsoo stared in awe and admiration at the way Chanyeol's large hands became like a toy for the cat. He was incredibly friendly and easy to get along with. Minseok must be a very gentle person to raise a cat in such a pleasant environment.

Minseok returned from the kitchen with a bowl of snacks and some nice cold drinks for the three of them. He placed them on the coffee table and sat back down with a calm smile, even raised his legs up to sit more comfortably. Kyungsoo however, was pretty distracted by Tan slowly approaching him on the couch, and slowly climbing over his own lap, as if curious and interested in him.

He could feel his heart beating with raised excitement. Tan was so adorable and fluffy, looking so clean and soft. Kyungsoo gulped lightly and brought his hand off his knee, then very carefully began stroking his palm over Tan's back. It felt like he was touching a cloud, and Tan didn't seem to mind at all. Even when they found him, the kitten never showed this much insterest in him. Not while Chanyeol was there.

"Aww~ Tannie likes you." Minseok cooed at his cat. Or perhaps he cooed at Kyungsoo himself? He wasn't sure. But regardless he felt a little shy, realizing that both Chanyeol and Minseok are looking at him with this much interest.   
"Ah!" Kyungsoo remembered something important, and while Tan continued sniffing all over him, he reached down to his bag and pulled out a small plastic bag.

At the moment it was brought out of the bag, Tan's attention turned directly to it as he attempted to grab it out of Kyungsoo's hold.   
"After I knew You wanted me to come, I started carrying catnip in my bag..." He admitted a little shyly. Both Minseok and Chanyeol stared at him surprised before starting to laugh warmly.   
"So sweet of you." Minseok grinned.

Carefully, Kyungsoo took out the ziplocked bag and poured a tiny bit into his palm. Tan immediately buried his face in Kyungsoo's palm and began licking up the catnip. So cute! Kyungsoo's whole body tingled as he watched Tan clean his palm and drop back down to lay in the little gap between Chanyeol and himself on the couch.

Kyungsoo's eyes were glued on the cat, he very gently continued stroking his fur, to the point where Tan even shut his eyes. That means he's secure and calm, right? He continued fawning over Tan internally for a little bit, before looking up at Chanyeol beside him. He was sure he'd find him looking at Tan, but instead there was an affectionate smile on his face, directed at Kyungsoo himself.

It was quiet for several moments of staring before Chanyeol suddenly turned his head away. Are his ears pink again?   
"Anyway! I bet you're curious about the connection between Chanyeol and I." Minseok leaned back in his armchair comfortably.

"I actually graduated the same highschool as you, two years ago." He began. "I've known Chanyeol since elementary school though. Both of us bonded because we were both chubby and round back then." He grinned with a chuckle, and Chanyeol shot him an embarrassed pout.  
"Sadly, we couldn't share middle school and high school together. But everybody already knew Chanyeol even before he got to enter highschool. Especially after his appearances at the middle school graduation ceremonies." He explained. Middle school graduation ceremonies? Kyungsoo would have loved to know more about that. What has he done that made him this memorable?

"Somebody here, however, doesn't come visit me when I have some free time, so!" Minseok gave Chanyeol a piercing pout, which made him laugh. The subject was changed. That's alright, it'd be too weird for Kyungsoo to ask about Chanyeol when he's right there. He decided to focus on the matter at hand. If Minseok graduated two years ago, it means he's one year older than Junmyeon. Ah... Kyungsoo misses Junmyeon a lot.

Tan let out a little purr to remind Kyungsoo to continue petting him, since he was distracted thinking about the logistics of his acquaintances ages.   
"So what do you do now?" He asked quietly, unsure if it was worded correctly. But he was always curious to know how life goes on once school actually ends.   
"Oh, I'm already working on my degree." Minseok smiled. Wow. Rather than surprised, Kyungsoo was pretty dumbfounded. The future is so vast.

As the conversation continued further, Kyungsoo's nervousness started to fade. Minseok's quiet and calm temper really contradicted with Chanyeol's excitement, and created a blanaced atmosphere. Very peaceful, especially with Tan napping right against his thigh.

The two of them just finished laughing about something Chanyeol had told, and Minseok's attention turned to him with a small smile.   
"So, what do you do on your free time?" Kyungsoo had to think about it for a while. What... Does he do really?   
"Uhm... Not much, I guess. I stay at home, watch movies..." He explained lightly, trying to remember any other special activity that he would be partaking in, but there was nothing.

"Really? I can't stand the boredom of staying at home. If there isn't anything specific I want to do, or someone there with me, I just go out a lot." Chanyeol hummed, and expanded a little bit about himself as well. This was new and wonderful information for Kyungsoo to learn. He didn't expect any less from Chanyeol. Always occupied, always doing something that's useful in one way or another.

"I like to draw sometimes, too. Since I daydream a lot. Time passes by really quickly that way." Kyungsoo elaborated a little more.   
"Daydream... Huh." Minseok nodded, it seems like he could understand what Kyungsoo meant.  
"I imagine myself in different situations. For example, if someone next to me is in trouble, or feeling unwell... Then I try to think what I would do in order to help them. Even though it's difficult to do in reality." He rubbed his cheek with his finger with a nervous smile as his eyes lowered down to Tan. "I'm not very good with these things."

"You're giving yourself too little credit." Chanyeol smiled in his direction, and Kyungsoo was very grateful that he changed the subject afterwards. There was too much pressure involved for him when it comes to becoming the center of attention.

The three of them talked about cats, about dogs, about delicious foods and some more about Minseok's future plans. Although Kyungsoo was only just a little bit disappointed he didn't get to hear anything more about Minseok's shared past with Chanyeol from elementary school, he still felt at ease enough to be a part of the conversation. Not much, but more than normal, at least.

He found out that time passes incredibly quickly when there's a cat napping nearby. Stroking Tan constantly had helped Kyungsoo keep his composure until it was time to leave. And Minseok generously greeted them goodbye with an important life lesson. About how important it is to give one's best at school, but also how important it is to stay healthy and keep a clear head, even if it comes with a price of some points recuded in the final grade.

On their way home, surpsingly, it was mostly Kyungsoo who spoke. He kept praising Tan's many positive points of growth, and expressed how thankful he is for being able to meet Minseok and Tan like this. All thanks to Chanyeol. He was just overflowing with his strong liking to the cat, and his owner. And Chanyeol just let him. Smiling down at him and listening to every word he said, humming in agreement at exactly the right moments to keep Kyungsoo excitement up so he'd talk more.

It was great. Everything about today was great. Kyungsoo felt the happiness streaming in his blood long after they've parted ways under the usual streetlight at the paths' connection.

 

 

Another weekend came by, a day well spent was starting to come to an end as Kyungsoo was calmly cooking dinner at home. Now that he was free from the stress of exams, he can get back to it and allow his parents to rest at ease when it comes to food. He loves cooking, he loves learning from his mother and father and trying new interesting recipes. The majority of the times it ends up in a successful meal. So his parents know they can trust him on this.

His mother cheerfully came to the kitchen, humming and sniffing the air in an over dramatic manner.   
"Oooh hon, it smells delicious in here!" She praised him warmly, and snuck around him by the counter to get a closer look. She then reached her arm in between his and grabbed a spoonful of food to taste. The big bite result in a big satisfied smile.

The approval came in the form of her hand gently petting and stroking through Kyungsoo's hair affectionately.   
"Just the right amount of sasame oil. You're going to surpass your father and I if you keep improving!" She chuckled before pecking the side of his head and leaving the kitchen in light steps. Kyungsoo highly enjoyed and appreciated the praises with a proud smile spreading across his lips. A smile he's sharing with himself.

He kept thinking about how much fun he had going out to eat with Baekhyun and Jongdae. Even if the restaurant was really nothing special at all, and he already knew what to order due to his frequent visits, the experience was still something special. He recalled in his mind how funny they were, and how cute was the way they kept stealing bites from each other's dishes although the three of them had put everything to share together.

And later, when they were sitting in the park and talking. How they taught him a lot, how they explained everything to him with calm patience, how they've made a promise... Ah, it brought joy to his heart just from remembering how incredibly happy and shy he felt with their pinkies tangled together. They treated him so kindly.

A part of him was too scared to admit it, but another part of him kept wanting more. And he began wondering when will be the next time they will be able to go out together again.

He didn't even realize that the phone was ringing. More than that, he hadn't realized his mother had already answered, until she called his name with a surprised expression.   
"Kyungsoo hon? A... A friend called you!" She seemed pretty thrilled. It must be quite a new experience for his parents too, for Kyungsoo to have actual friends that call him.

Who would call his home and present themselves as his friend? In an instant, Kyungsoo placed all of the cooking tools down and rushed to the phone, rubbing his hands on the front of his apron just to make sure they're clean and dry.  
"Hello?" His heart was thumping in his chest with the anticipation, he hoped his voice didn't sound too hesitant.   
"Ah! Kyungsoo! We're going to a ramen place tonight! Wanna join us?" It was Jongdae over the phone. He could also hear Baekhyun's voice whining in the background. W-Whoa. This is the first time anything like this happened. Normally Kyungsoo only went outside when absolutely necessary, and now he felt actual excitement towards doing so.

Before responding, Kyungsoo lowered the phone and turned to his parents.   
"Mom--- Dad--- Do you mind if I go out to eat dinner with friends tonight?" His voice trembled a little from the buzz of the situation. Both of them stared at him for a moment, exchanged a look between one another, then smiled at him.   
"Of course! You have to go!" His mom exclaimed happily. "Next time you could invite them over for dinner." His father added.

"Thank you!" Kyungsoo replied with a smile and quickly agreed to join his two friends over the phone. After very few minutes of eagerly getting ready to leave the house, he greeted his parents goodbye at the door.   
"Don't stay out too late hon!" His father called after him.

This will be the first time Kyungsoo will be eating ramen outside with anyone who isn't his family. Baekhyun and Jongdae got his first time with the sushi after school, and now they're getting his ramen too. Last time he went to eat out with the two of them, they went to a place Kyungsoo already knew well. Plus they went right after school, so it didn't feel like anything as formal as they'll be going to now. Not that a ramen place can actually be anything fancy around their town, but hey, going out to eat dinner together on a weekend was pretty fancy in Kyungsoo's standards.

He arrived at their meetup spot fairly quickly, probably because he was eager to spend time with his friends again. The bridge that spreads above the town's highway was a good place to meet, because it connects their living blocks and leads right into town.

Jongdae was dressed with loose clothes, pants hanging around his waist solely thanks to the belt, and flip flops. While Baekhyun was dressed with a large printed T-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. Alright, that's good. So Kyungsoo's outfit was just the right amount of casual to match with them.

At the moment the two of them spotted him they began chuckling to themselves.   
"What is this, grandpa Kyungsoo came along?" Baekhyun teased. Well, he couldn't deny that, Kyungsoo just found this comfortable. With his rolled up farmer jeans, tucked in shirt and a plaid flanel on top.   
"It's just comfortable." He explained with a smile.   
"It looks cool! Pretty unique." Jongdae winked and gave him a thumb up as they all began heading in the restaurant's direction.

"By the way Kyungsoo, we don't know your cellphone number yet. That's why we had to call to your house... Your mom sounded nice though!" Jongdae spoke again, the little bit of sun left in the sky now sinking down in the distance behind the last few buildings at the edge of town.

"I don't have one."   
"You don't?!" Baekhyun sounded pretty shocked.   
"I never really felt the need to get one, since I'm always either at school or at home." Kyungsoo admitted calmly. It really didn't make sense to waste this much effort on something that wouldn't even be useful for him in any way. Cellphones are for people in contact when they're away from home, but if he stays at home all the time, owning one wouldn't benefit him. The two have found his explanation reasonable it seems, because they both hummed out understandingly.   
"Well, if you get one, let us know." Jongdae concluded with a nod.

It turned dark outside by the time they made it to the little ramen restaurant in a small alley divergent from the main street. Yeah, he definitely picked a good simple outfit for this place. It was so casual, homey and welcoming, he would feel comfortable even wearing his pajamas in here.

There were quite a lot of customers sitting in large groups across the tables, the background music was relaxing, and somehow, Kyungsoo didn't feel overcrowded at all. The place looked like it's trying to mimic traditional architecture, and it did look a little aged, but beautiful regardless. Pictures of flowers were hanging on the walls, and the colors were all light and woody.

"Welcome! Oh! Baekhyunie~ You came over again?" The elderly man standing behind the ramen making stand greeted them heartfully.   
"Hey! Don't expose me like thatttt." Baekhyun whined childishly and made the man laugh as the trio settled themselves down at the side of the bar seats, each of his friends at each of Kyungsoo's sides on the swirly bar stools. He never sat at a bar like this before, this is pretty exciting.

The two of them began chattering up about their favourite dishes and recommended so many different types to Kyungsoo that as grateful as he was, he only wound up even more confused than he felt from simply reading the little menu on his own.   
"I really recommend the shoyu ramen!" Baekhyun called happily, and Kyungsoo agreed to order the same.   
"I'll take a miso ramen." Jongdae said, causing Baekhyun to pout.   
"Hey, I literally just recommended the shoyu one..."   
"I had that one last time." Jongdae pouted back, yet came out victorious.

Kyungsoo used the moment to look around the place some more, only to have someone familiar looking catch his eye. He stared at the guy for a while, it was one of the waiters, he had a bandana over his head and forehead. Something about him looked very familiar.   
"This guy reminds me of Sehun." He mentioned to his friends. The two blinked at him.   
"What do you mean, it is Sehun." They said in unison, as if it was a fact known to all.

"Welcome, new customer." Their classmate popped behind them and skillfully poured the three fresh glasses of water. Kyungsoo smiled back towards him, grateful to the welcoming greeting.  
"Thank you, Sehun!" Sehun nodded with a calm smile and headed off to tend to one of the tables. Their orders then landed in front of them on the table, and after a moment of appreciation to the beauty of the dish, the three of them dug in hungrily.

 

 

"I'm so full!" Jongdae yawned with satisfaction as the three of them left their payment for the meal to the old man.   
"Right, we'll be going up then!" Baekhyun claimed happily and began heading towars the stairs that lead to the personal home of the shop owners. Huh? Why would they go there? Isn't that private? Kyungsoo was puzzled from the unexpected turn of events.

Does Baekhyun actually know the owner well enough to have free access into his home? Kyungsoo would be surprised if that were true, but then again, it is Baekhyun. He would be able to make friends with anybody.

"Aren't you being too obnoxious? Inviting yourself to Sehun's house like this..." Jongdae complained while following after Baekhyun anyway.   
Wait, what?! This is Sehun's house?! Kyungsoo was more than shocked to find that fact out. It makes a whole lot more sense now though.   
"A-Are you sure it's alright for me to come in there...?" He asked with a hint of worry. Kyungsoo is a friend of Baekhyun and Jongdae, but does Sehun, also, consider him a friend? And with that, good enough to actually allow him into his home?

"Of course! Why not?" Baekhyun encouraged them both with a smile, as they entered Sehun's house. Does this mean that the restaurant belongs to Sehun's family? That would explain why he works here, too. So cool. Kyungsoo began thinking about how it'd feel to live in a house above a restaurant. If his parents opened a restaurant, would he have to work in it as well? It sounds pretty fun.

After taking off their shoes and starting to make their way through the house, little tapping noises on the floor could be heard echoing from another spot of the house. After several moments, a white fluffy dog suddenly came behind the wall and stared at them.   
"Viviiiiii!" Baekhyun called out with excitement and dropped to his knees immediately, both his arms reached out towards the pup. Ahh, so this is Vivi. Kyungsoo chuckled lightly, recalling the way Sehun praised the dog back at school.

His chuckle then turned into laughter when unlike his expectations of seeing the dog happily and cheerfully rush towards Baekhyun, he instead walked to him very slowly, and right before reaching his hands, turned towards Jongdae and sniffed him. Baekhyun's face looked so defeated and dramatic when he allowed himself to fall on the floor out of the sheer pain of rejection.   
"Hey there Vivi~ I know right, I'd stay away from him too." Jongdae teasingly spoke to the dog, petting his head.

With a smile across his lips, Kyungsoo kneeled down and offered his hand for Vivi to get familiar with. He received barely a gentle lick to the tips of his fingers, before Vivi lost insterest in all of them and headed back around the corner and out of their view. So cute!

Baekhyun got himself up from the ground and led them into Sehun's room. Once there, he shamelessly fell onto the bed and spread himself across it to get comfortable, while Jongdae and Kyungsoo took their spots on his carpet. How come Baekhyun was so comfortable about being at Sehun's place like this? Kyungsoo couldn't help but wonder. Maybe Baekhyun lives nearby so the two of them knew each other for long enough to be this carefree about it.

Well, Sehun's room is generally comfortable looking, and welcoming. It doesn't have a particular smell, and everything seems to be pretty much in order. It's not as clean and sparkly as Minseok's place, but still good.

After a while of hanging out in the room together, a phone began beeping. Jongdae quickly pulled out his device and placed it to his ear.   
"Hey, whats up?" Both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo looked at each other. Who could it be in this hour? Kyungsoo didn't want to feel like he's poking his nose somewhere it doesn't belong, his instincts of privacy made him a little uncomfortable.

"Yeah. I'm hanging out at a friend's." A smile spread across Jongdae's lips, and Kyungsoo could see a small shine he hasn't seen spark up in Jongdae's eyes before.   
"Yeah. I know. Be there when im done. I'll text you for heads up~" He sounded so calm, his voice was at ease, filled with warmth. Kyungsoo couldnt take his eyes off of the amount of happiness that's radiating from Jongdae until the call had ended.

Could it have been his parents? It wouldn't really make sense after Jongdae had told them what's the situation with his family is like. But then if it isn't family, who could make Jongdae look this happy?

"Don't be so shocked, Kyungsoo. It's probably just his boyfriend." Baekhyun chuckled in such a dismissive obvious manner, as if this was something Kyungsoo was supposed to be familiar with. He turned to Baekhyun in disbelief.   
"B-Boyfriend?!"   
"Yeah. He's studying for his degree, always busy." Baekhyun replied, more focused on flexing his socked feet on the bed than paying attention to just how shocking this revalation is for Kyungsoo.

Jongdae sighed lightly before sliding the phone back into his pocket. He's so mature. With a phone, a card of his own, a boyfriend that's older than him, and barely ever staying at home? Jongdae's really got his life together. He knows how to handle heavy responsibilites that matter for important aspects of life. He's so amazing. Kyungsoo made a mental note for himself about how he needed to start learning how to manage himself as well as Jongdae.

At this point in his life, Kyungsoo couldn't even imagine having a single argument with his parents. Let alone handling important financial issues or staying away from home for more than a few hours at a time. Does it make him childish? Or maybe he's just so used to having nothing other than his home and family for comfort, that suddenly stepping outside of the box of what he knew was still scary for him?

Kyungsoo got quite distracted thinking about it, but when he looked at Baekhyun, he found that his expression didn't look as bright, but rather, longing. As if he was thinking about someone long gone. Someone who possibly meant something as deep to Baekhyun as Jongdae's boyfriend is to him. Baekhyun also, as childish as can be, knows how to handle important responsibilities well.

"You're like an actual adult." Kyungsoo turned to Jongdae, who grinned for a short while before his expression turned authorative. Like a teacher.   
"Don't worry, Kyungsoo, one day you'll understand the amazing world of adulthood." He spoke with his finger pointing up, then patted Kyungsoo's shoulder reassuringly.

"Huh? What do you mean amazing world of adulthood? Aren't we like adults already? I know that I am!" Baekhyun pouted at Jongdae, pushing his socked foot near his face. Whatever maturity Baekhyun has, definitely doesn't come into account at this moment. Jongdae whined out with disgust as he pushed Baekhyun's whole leg away and began bantering with him yet again, the two pushing and pulling onto each other like a comical children's show. They really could make a good comedic duo. All they need is to be left alone together, and a camera to film it all.

 

 

The two ceased, however, at the moment the room's door slammed open, and Sehun stood there staring at them with his usual piercing, cold looking expression. Kyungsoo knew by now that Sehun's intimidating appearance is far off from how sweet and gentle his personality really is. The pair quickly parted, and Baekhyun stood up right in front of Sehun, poking his finger at his chest.   
"Don't just barge in here like this! You scared me."   
"That's my room." Sehun responded, looking down at Baekhyun with a neutral expression. The two of them seriously looked so comfortable with each other. Baekhyun was comfortable in Sehun's house, and even in his bed. Was there something going on between them? Could it be that the two of them are also... Together?

"Are you two... Boyfriends...?" Kyungsoo asked out loud in a quiet voice, his lips moved before his brain could tell them to stop. Three pairs of eyes turned in his direction right away. Before anybody uttered a sound, Sehun raised a hand and covered his ear that's facing Baekhyun's direction, as if he's preparing himself for what's to come.

"NO!!" Ah, Kyungsoo understood why he covered his ear now. Baekhyun retaliated immediately from the question, looking not even a little bit sorry for the harsh denial.   
"Have you lost your mind? There's no way I'd date this kid. He's more like a little brother to me. I'm so used to having him around ever since we were babies... It'd just feel wrong." Baekhyun quickly gave his explanation, smacking Sehun's arm gently.

But as Sehun sat down on the bed, Baekhyun easily sat himself directly next to him and spread his legs over Sehun's own. Sehun looked completely unphased. Truly, what Kyungsoo saw before his eyes was brotherhood at its best form. Baekhyun continued speaking about their shared past for a while longer, though.

The stories were really adorable and fun sounding. The two of them really have always been together. Brotherhood, huh? Kyungsoo looked at Jongdae from time to time as the stories got told. He laughed and smiled like he normally would, but seeing two people behaving this lopsely like brothers must still bring up some form of thought about the situation between him and his very own brother, Jongin.

Kyungsoo was just glad that Jongdae seemed happy. Because so was he. The evening was lovely. Absolutely wonderful. Kyungsoo had so much fun hanging with the three of them in Sehun's room.

As drinks and snacks were added to the equasion, it felt like not only Baekhyun and Sehun, but all four of them knew each other for years. A whole new feeling for Kyungsoo to learn. It was calm and pleasant, so relaxing and fun. He felt like a brand new upgraded version of himself infused with happiness through the whole time. He was so glad, and so thankful that he's able to spend his time in this manner.

"Why won't we invite Chanyeol over as well?" Baekhyun asked at some point out of the blue. Kyungsoo's body stiffened in his spot from just hearing his name being mentioned.   
"Sehun must feel so out of place." He added as an excuse, although there was not even a hint of Sehun being anything as far as being considered out of place. He spoke happily in all their conversations, and even bonded further with Kyungsoo.

But Baekhyun extended his arm in Sehun's direction anyway.   
"Give me your phone!" Sehun shrugged before handing it to him quietly.   
"There, Kyungsoo, you should invite him." Baekhyun did all the tapping on the screen before handing Kyungsoo the device. Oh no, is he prepared to talk with Chanyeol on the phone for the first time like this? In front of everyone? Would he able to remain calm enough to not raise any suspicion? His felt like his soul was slowly leaving him just from imagining how awful he'd be at it.

"R-Really? Is this a good idea?" He asked nervously, holding the phone in his palms and looking at Chanyeol's name and display picture on Sehun's phone.   
"Come on, it'll be funny. He'd expect it to be Sehun, but suddenly you will speak! Bet he'll freak." Jongdae began teasing Chanyeol who wasn't even present to defend himself, while Baekhyun laughed.

But Kyungsoo couldn't bring himself to press the green ring button, he was so nervous. What if he makes a fool out of himself? Speaking to Chanyeol in real life is already a great task for him to accomplish.

"Why are you taking so long? Just press it. Chanyeol usually answers really quickly. Just say that we're all at Sehun's place and ask him to come!" Baekhyun changed his approach, and instead of making fun of the situation, encouraged him some more. Kyungsoo felt his heartbeat echo in his ears. He's really scared... But, he does want Chanyeol to join them. Everything is always somehow a little bit better when Chanyeol's around.

Alright. He'll do this. He can do it. After exhaling to release the steam gathering inside him, Kyungsoo finally pressed the call button and placed the phone against his ear. Luckily, Jongdae and Sehun were busy talking with each other, so their attention wasn't directed at him as he felt the heat rising on his cheeks.

The phone rang twice, giving Kyungsoo a chance to take a breath, before Chanyeol's voice came from the other side of the line.   
"Sup, Sehun?" Ah... This is really happening.   
"Hello? Chanyeol? This is Kyungsoo speaking." He said quietly, trying to sound composed. There was a pause of silence before suddenly he began talking in a higher tone.   
"Oh? Kyungsoo? But this is Sehun's phone? What are you doing?" He sounded surprised, curious.  
"I'm at Sehun's place now. Baekhyun, Jongdae, Sehun... We ate ramen at his family's restaurant and now we're hanging out at his place. I thought... It'd be fun if you join us as well." Kyungsoo explained, his heart fast and loud in his ears while his anticipation was rising. There was another pause of silence.   
"Be right there!" Chanyeol replied with what Kyungsoo hoped was enthusiasm, before the call was hung up.

It took him several moments of listening to the silence after the call to realize it ended. But now that Kyungsoo was back in reality, he realized all three in the room were looking at him curiously. He quietly handed the phone back to Sehun, looking down shyly.   
"He said he's coming."   
"Nice! You did it." Jongdae laughed. He... He really did it. His first phonecall with Chanyeol. And now all that's left to do is wait for him to arrive.

 

 

From one subject to another, they ended up talking about Sehun and Baekhyun's shared past together again. But this time, after browsing through Sehun's room, Baekhyun managed to pull out their middle school's year book. It seems that Baekhyun, Sehun, and Chanyeol all came from the same middle school, Jongdae from another, and Kyungsoo himself from a different one.

"Tadah! That's me." Baekhyun opened the book up and pointed at his own profile picture in the collective classroom's page.   
"You three were in the same class in middle school too?" Jongdae asked right away, sounding impressed.

As Kyungsoo scanned the page with his eyes, curious about which three people Jongdae meant, he found Sehun, looking way younger than now, but with the exact same cold expression. Hah, so cute. Kyungsoo got the feeling that Sehun is one of those people who 'age like fine wine'. Or so the adults say.

Then he found Chanyeol's pictures as well, hair way shorter than his current style, but pretty much the same sort of smile across his lips. Kyungsoo's eyes ended up lingering a while longer at his picture than anybody else's. Whoa... Even in middle school's graduation picture Chanyeol already looked impressive. No wonder he left such a deep impression and made students follow him to this highschool.

"Sehun looks like baby here!" Baekhyun pointed out with a teasing grin, causing him to pout lightly.   
"Look who's speaking." Sehun replied in a snarky manner.   
"To me you'll always be a baby!" Baekhyun claimed victoriously and poked his cheek while puckering his own lips.   
"I'm still growing." Sehun concluded his comments about the subject.

"Ahhh, so this is the Chanyeol that all the girls fought over?" Jongdae called out with a chuckle, his finger pointing towards the picture.   
"Yeah! He had quite a transformation from first year to graduation. I'm pretty sure these pictures were taken not too long after his hair grew from a buzzcut." Baekhyun explained.

"A buzzcut?" Well, it is a very convenient hairstyle, yet very uncommon for younger children at around middle school age. Kyungsoo wondered what could have been the reason for that hairstyle. He didn't even realize he mouthed the question out loud.   
"Yeah. It was really strange, actually. Near the end of the year he suddenly didn't show up to school for like... I don't know, a few days." Baekhyun began explaining, a hand on his chin as he tried to remember further details. "Then suddenly he showed up with a buzzcut, as if nothing happened. When people complimented him for it, he kept saying it was 'Just necessary', or something like that." That's... Quite an odd story to add to Kyungsoo's list of mysteries he wished he knew about Chanyeol.

As the page was flipped, a picture of the band performance of their middle school appeared. At the center of it stood Chanyeol and Sehun beside each other. Chanyeol smiling brightly and Sehun looking pretty blissed. They were so much younger. Which is a strange fact for Kyungsoo to point out in his mind, considering they still are, in fact, children. But it's a good excuse for him to continously repeat the word cute at every picture.   
"I remember our music teacher looking so gloomy when Chanyeol told him he won't be joining anything music related in highschool." Baekhyun said while thinking. Sehun nodded in agreement beside him.

This is a whole side of Chanyeol that Kyungsoo has never known. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't more curious about this than anything else he'd ever cared about before. They continue to flip through, finding another picture where all three, Chanyeol, Sehun, and Baekhyun, are in. Standing near the chalkboard and smiling at the camera with a few other students.

Kyungsoo wondered what Chanyeol was like at middle school. Probably not much different from today, considering the amount of impact he has on such large amounts of people. He probably studied hard, made good friends and kept everyone happy, just like he does in highschool.

He wished he knew Chanyeol back then too, then he would have been able to admire him for even longer.   
"I wish I could see him perform." Kyungsoo mumbled lightly under his breath, not really thinking others could hear.   
"Ah, you can do that soon. Sehun?" Baekhyun turned to him, so did Kyungsoo.   
"Yeah. We'll be joining the school's music band for the upcoming outdoors event." Sehun explained calmly.

Whoa. That's even better. Instead of the past, Kyungsoo will get to see the present version of Chanyeol. He'll be able to take pictures like the ones in this book with everyone in his classroom, and make many wonderful memories from now on. He will have many more chances to bond with everyone. There are school activities, field trips, and more, which he could so his best and try to connect with them properly.

"Ah! It's this girl." Jongdae directed everybody's attention to a different class' profile picture of a girl. She looks really beautiful in the picture. And also, familiar.   
"Isn't that the girl that speaks with Chanyeol a lot during breaks in front of our class?" Ah, that's right. Kyungsoo remembered her now. She was there when he heard the stories of Chanyeol being so popularly influential, right before Jongdae told them the story about Jongin. She's one of the people who followed him to their highschool.

Baekhyun and Sehun's expressions seemed neutral and disinterested.   
"What's with that reaction?" Jongdae asked suspiciously, a raised eyebrow came along.   
"Ah, nothing really, I never really got to know her. She was pretty distant from everyone. Very popular with the boys though!" Baekhyun grinned.   
"Really? Doesn't she remind you of Kyungsoo a little?" Jongdae wondered to himself, before turning to Sehun sharply.

"Sehun, what do you think of her?" He inquired curiously, pointing at her little smiling face in the group picture in the book. Sehun stared at her picture quietly for a while.   
"Not for me." He replied naturally, with no emotion whatsoever. But baekhyun had already taken the bait Jongdae planted, and pointed at Kyungsoo.   
"And what do you think of him?" His grin returned.

This time Sehun stared at Kyungsoo deeply for a long while, way longer than he did at the girl's photo, leaving Baekhyun and Jongdae a little surprised from how seriously he was actually taking this question.

"I guess I like him." Sehun admitted, sounding a little warmer now. Kyungsoo quickly straightened his back and nodded at him politely.   
"I like you too, Sehun." He returned the feelings calmly, it clearly wasn't a confession or anything as deep, just a mutual general liking. Actually, knowing that Sehun likes him made Kyungsoo feel quite happy.   
"Then... Kyungsoo, what about Chanyeol?" Baekhyun asked in an even more curious tone, leaning slightly closer to him to watch his face. Kyungsoo stiffened in his spot and stared at them in silence. His heart speeding immensely.

How... How does he feel towards Chanyeol? He admires him, of course. More than anyone else in the world. But does he... Does he feel anything more...?

It was silent for a long time as Kyungsoo's eyes danced in their sockets and his brain gears began spinning about how to properly explain and describe what he thinks of Chanyeol. His cheeks heating up as well. Luckily, he didn't have to struggle for too long.   
"Now now, let's leave him be. He'll have to climb the stairs into adulthood on his own~" Jongdae waved his palm in the air to signal their retreat from the subject.   
"Why does it sound so dirty when you say it like that..." Baekhyun glanced at him with a pout.

"Speaking of dirty however..." Baekhyun continued with a weird smile. "Chanyeol's hair grows so fast! In less than a month after the buzzcut his hair already grew this much!" He laughed when opening their class picture in the book once again.   
"Why...?" Kyungsoo mumbled, questioning the connection between the 'naughty' subject and Chanyeol's hair.

"You know what they say, perverts grow hair the fastest!" Baekhyun called out, before all of the residents in the room jumped from the room's door slamming open yet again. Chanyeol was standing there looking upset and embarrassed.   
"W-What the hell! I'm not anything like that!" He shouted back at Baekhyun's statement.   
"How long have you been listening to us outside the door, creep!" Jongdae called him out teasingly, as he entered and sat himself down next to Kyungsoo poutily. He proceeded to try and defend himself against the pair of them.

It was good to see Chanyeol again. He looked all the same and yet so different when he's not at school and not wearing his uniform. Just a simple dark green hoodie and black jeans. His style is really nice. Kyungsoo couldn't help but look at his hair for a while longer, comparing it to his middle school short haircut. Kyungsoo would continue admiring him no matter which hairstyle he had, has, or will have in the future. He didn't even realize his lips were forming a smile until Jongdae pointed it out moments later.   
"Even Kyungsoo finds it funny!" He said to tease Chanyeol some more.

"Ahhh nooo, don't mock me like thisss, Kyungsoooo~!" Chanyeol whined out and covered his face with his palms. Kyungsoo began panicking, quickly turning to him worried.   
"I--- I didn't mean---"   
"Just kidding." Chanyeol cut him off in a calm tone. He removed his hands from his face and smiled at Kyungsoo warmly. "Laugh if you'd like." Kyungsoo felt his panic turn into surprise, then warmth, then back to calmness. It always ends like this, thanks to Chanyeol's words and smile.

Kyungsoo smiled again and nodded at him in agreement. If Chanyeol wanted him to laugh and smile, he might as well allow himself to do so. It felt so much better, so much more freeing to be around Chanyeol like this, when their time to communicate wasn't limited by bells and teachers. It could also be because they are sitting closer than they usually do in class. Which is, already pretty close, considering they sit right next to each other.

They continued hanging out togehter in Sehun's room above the ramen restaurant. Talking, laughing, teasing each other, bringing stories from the shared middle school past of Baekhyun, Sehun and Chanyeol, until it had gotten later in the night and it was time to free Sehun from the burden of their presence in his room, and head back home.

Of course Baekhyun hasn't forgotten to nearly lay himself down on the floor in order to make Vivi approach him. The dog simply didn't care. Like a deja vu, he walked right around Baekhyun to get to Jongdae, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo. Lingering a while longer under Chanyeol's touch. As expected, even Sehun's dog loved Chanyeol the most.

Sehun walked all four of them to the house's door.   
"I had a lot of fun tonight. Thank you for inviting me, Baekhyun, Jongdae." Kyungsoo smiled up at the two of them.   
"Thank you for letting me be a guest at your house." He then bowed politely to Sehun, who smiled and hummed in return.   
"Yup! Me too!" Jongdae smiled widely.   
"We'll be meeting up a lot then!" Baekhyun joined the smile, speaking it out into the air so that they will have to make sure it comes true.

The two of them greeted Kyungsoo goodbye with half a hug around his shoulders. Baekhyun then headed over across the street, and Jongdae off to the direction of his boyfriend's place. Behind him came Sehun and Chanyeol, who were talking amongst themselves about something he couldn't hear.

"Ah, Kyungsoo, we're both heading to the same direction. Let me join you." Chanyeol said and stepped to stand beside him.   
"Thanks for letting us stay!" Chanyeol called back to Sehun and waved at him with an affectionate smile. Receiving a gentle smile from him in return as he stood at the door and waved goodbye at the two of them.

 

 

Now it was just Chanyeol and him walking together quietly in this chilly starry night. Kyungsoo could easily conclude that this evening was marvelous. Everything about it was new and fun and great. He'd love for more experiences like this to appear in the future. With Sehun, Baekhyun, Jongdae, and of course, Chanyeol. Out of these four, only Baekhyun and Jongdae are confirmed to be his friends, or maybe he still hasn't come to the point where he was able to determine who was already a friend or not.

But he still felt a deep connection forming between them all. A little squad of classmates who genuinely enjoy spending time with one another even outside of school's limitations. Today would have been a pleasant day even if none of this happened, but the fact that Baekhyun and Jongdae went out of their way to contact Kyungsoo and invite him to join along turned this evening into a memorable event that Kyungsoo would remember for years to come.

Even though it was quiet and peaceful, Kyungsoo's heart was beating faster than normal. He couldn't help but let the joy spread a buzz through his body.

"I'm so glad I came to this highschool with everyone." Kyungsoo said calmly.   
"That includes me too, right?" Chanyeol asked, looking forward far ahead at their path. The question caught Kyungsoo a little off guard. Who else would he mean?   
"Of course," Kyungsoo replied instantly and looked up at him. "You changed my life!" He said without a trace of a doubt.

Chanyeol gave him a curious glance before starting to chuckle lightly.   
"You're completely exaggerating." He laughed some more before turning to look up at the sky.  
"Sorry, I just keep teasing you. I wanted to hear you say it... So I'll be able to put my mind at ease." Kyungsoo wasn't sure what part of his words Chanyeol wanted to hear him say, or what he meant when he said that. But the rest of their way home, Kyungsoo also felt at ease.

He was able to make Chanyeol smile, and laugh. He was able to give just a little bit back of all that Chanyeol is always giving him at all times. Just thinking of Chanyeol kept bringing happiness to Kyungsoo. So the least he could do is attempt to bring even a drop of it back.

After seeing Chanyeol's pictures from the past, and hearing a whole lot more about how he used to be, he came to the conclusion that he's very lucky to be knowing the current Chanyeol. The Chanyeol that keeps surprising him, and making him feel like a real person with real thoughts and feelings. The Chanyeol that allows him to step closer and get to know him better, get to know new sides of him that not many people are as lucky as him to be exposed to.

Like right now. Like the way Kyungsoo can see the stars shine through their reflection in Chanyeol life filled, beautiful eyes.

He learned so much about Baekhyun, Jongdae and Sehun, but mostly Chanyeol today. Getting to see Chanyeol's childhood pictures felt like a privilege he thought he'd never get. Chanyeol has a whole history, a past, stories and memories that Kyungsoo had never heard. He could only wish that in the future he will get to know Chanyeol well enough that these stories wouldn't be something new to hear anymore.

He was happy that there was this time for him in the world to take the essence of Chanyeol's existence as a whole, and learn how to appreciate it. Feeling his aura, his warmth, just by walking beside him. His heart filled with hope, that one day he'll become someone worthy of the same appreciation from others. Or maybe... He just wants the attention from Chanyeol?   
No. He shouldn't get ahead of himself like this. But for some reason, that thought seemed really nice all of a sudden.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

 

Lately, it seems that strange things are happening to Kyungsoo. Not bad things, but just, weird things. Especially at school, when he's on his own and not paying attention to his surrounding.

A few days ago, two guys from another class stopped him on the way to school just to show him their funny distorted facial expressions. But after he didn't respond with much other than a confused "Oh..." They looked like they've failed something. Just yesterday, when he was walking the halls, one of the girls from his grade attempted to tickle him on the arm, but he isn't very sensitive there, so he was just too startled to have any sort of reaction. As she walked away with her other classmate she said something about failing, too.

Kyungsoo doesn't quite understand it. But this certainly feels way better than being avoided, or looked down upon due to negative rumours.

Though finally, today in class, Seungwan and Seulgi came to his salvation with the answer. As they've come to his table to chat normally, he mustered enough courage to ask if they know anything about the reason people began behaving so weirdly towards him.

"Ah! I've heard something about that too!" Seungwan said, her eyes widen almost unrealistically, as they always do when she gets thrilled about something. "People are saying that they'll get a blessing of good luck for life if they manage to make you smile at them." She explained, her expression back to normal, except now with a small added smile.

Good luck?! From Kyungsoo?! After so many years of being considered some sort of cursed bad omen?! Whoa, things have really turned upsidedown for him. Having a trail of good connotations after his name does feel good though, that's for sure.   
"Hahaha, that's really funny. But also, really cute!" Seulgi chuckled. "You gotta smile some more now!" She added brightly, and Kyungsoo nodded enthusiastically. He will smile, he will definitely smile. He wants to be useful and bring his fellow students luck if that's what it takes.

"Hey! Doshio!" A guy called for him from across a few table in the classroom. Kyungsoo and the pair of girls turned to look at him. "Why is peter pan always flying?" He asked with an anticipating smile, his friend beside him looked just as interested in Kyungsoo's reaction. Kyungksoo stared at them for a while.   
"Why...?"   
"Because he neverlands!" The guy answered, eagerly expecting to see what Kyungsoo's reaction to this joke will be.

Oh, right! Now is his time to shine, this guy clearly wants to win the blessing. Which means Kyungsoo has to smile back at him. He took a breath lightly and curled his lips upwards a little, looking at the guy sitting at the other side of class and hoping that he'd see the smile and feel blessed. The reaction wasn't quite what he expected though. He assumed that just like it always was, due to his astigmatism, it looked like he was glaring creepily. Because the guy and his friend just froze in their spots as if hit by an ice storm.   
"Ahh~ I don't think that worked..." Seulgi hummed lightly. "Yeah... Both the joke, and the smile." Seungwan sighed lightly.

"Why do you keep making such an odd expression when you try to smile, I wonder." Jongdae chimed in, sliding in front of Kyungsoo into his seat with a smile.   
"Morning!" Baekhyun did the same beside him. "Good morning." Kyungsoo greeted them both calmly together with Seungwan and Seulgi.   
"Seems like you've become good friends with these two!" Jongdae smiled at them from his seat. Gesturing towards the pair of girls, who both smiled as a response.

Friends? Kyungsoo? With Seungwan and Seulgi? Are they considered his friends too?   
"Seems like it!" Seungwan chuckled lightly, and Seulgi nodded happily at Kyungsoo with a smile. He didn't even realize it... But he's willing to trust his friends' words, like they told him before.

Ah... He's so happy right now. That was so smooth... Kyungsoo had seen Baekhyun, Jongdae, Seungwan and Seulgi chatting in class together in the past. He felt blessed himself for being able to be included on this little sparkly group as well.   
"Plus! Yerim kept telling us about how adorable you look when you smile. So we were quite curious ourselves." Seungwan added. "Yerim has great taste in people. So we knew we can trust her." Seulgi said as a matter of fact, as the five of them fell down into a pleasant calm conversation.

"You should really learn how to open up to people a little more, Kyungsoo. You're so stiff and formal all the time! How about you try to greet people in a friendlier manner?" Jongdae hummed out at him, getting Baekhyun interested enough to turn around in his chair and look at them.   
"Maybe instead of a boring 'good morning' you could say 'what's up' in the mornings." Jongdae continued, thinking for a bit and looking around the class curiously, before a smile sprung up his lips.

"Ah~ It seems that the perfect subject to experiment on had just entered!" Jongdae pointed his finger towards the classroom's door, from which Chanyeol had just entered, chatting with Sehun right behind him.

"Come on, try it!" Baekhyun got excited from what Kyungsoo could only assume was imagining him greeting someone in that manner. But he tried to encourage him as well, and Kyungsoo appreciated the way they care for him even if feels like something that wouldn't really fit him. Right... Kyungsoo should at least give it a try. Even if it will feel strange, Chanyeol will definitely be understanding enough in case it goes wrong. Right?

He repeated the phrase 'What's up' in his head a few times, but at the moment Chanyeol made eye contact with him and sat down after greeting all of his friends in the classroom, Kyungsoo had forgotten his very own name, almost.

"Good morning---...." He mumbled instead, only then realizing he had missed his chance when he saw Jongdae laugh defeatedly. "Maybe I pushed too hard..." He sighed.   
"There are so many other options though, so don't give up!" Baekhyun smiled at Kyungsoo instead. Ah... That made him pretty nervous. It's just a simple difference in gesture, but Kyungsoo really lacks the confidence to do so. Especially towards someone he holds as high as Chanyeol. Besides, at the moment Chanyeol is involved it feels like nothing else in the world exists at all, so it's not really only his fault.

"Morning, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol replied, with as much warmth as always, and a dimple at the side of his cheek. Kyungsoo will never get tired of hearing Chanyeol say his name.

Even though Chanyeol is always so kind to him, just like Baekhyun and Jongdae, always talks to everyone in the classroom and even outside of it, Kyungsoo can't bring himself to fully let loose. He isn't even sure he has anything to let loose of. Kyungsoo has never been the wild and open type like the four amazing people who befriended him. Talking to Chanyeol shouldn't be any different from anyone else, and yet... He can't talk to him as freely as with Baekhyun and Jongdae. He wondered why that is.

It's especially weird, because even before he was able to speak with Baekhyun and Jongdae at all, he was already opening up to Chanyeol, becoming happy from knowing that he could talk with him about anything without feeling any barriers. But it seems that the closer they become, the more difficult it is for Kyungsoo to face him directly. The exact opposite process from Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Sehun.

 

 

Classes have began, and discussions sprung up about the biggest school arranged activity of the year. The outdoors entertainment festival.   
Every year the festival takes place on the school's grounds, where the entire town is invited over to celebrate the success of the school's different branches of entertainment learning. This festival is considered pretty unique because the sophomores are the ones who are in charge to make it a success. For the seniors are during that time, already deep into studying for various exams and thinking about their own graduation.

Kyungsoo never got to see this festival taking place before, since Junmyeon was his only friend, but was already a sophomore when Kyungsoo hasn't even started highschool yet. And last year when he was already a junior in highschool, Junmyeon was a senior and too busy studying to be able to come and partake in it.

"So, we're going to need somebody in charge of our school's music performance at the upcoming festival." The teacher said towards the whole class, but Kyungsoo could easily see the way she eyed Chanyeol for the role, as if pleading for him to take it without saying a word, simply with her eyes. It was silent for several moments, most heads in class turned to look at Chanyeol's direction as well. It's like everybody already knows about the fact that Chanyeol has a musical talent, yet Kyungsoo had only recently learned it.

"Fine, fine I'll take it." Chanyeol raised his hands in the air defeatedly, waving an invisible white flag to surrender. Making the class laugh cheerfully before the teacher went on and gave the students their own time to decide on other different matters for the festival.

The students gathered in groups around different tables in the classroom, opening notebooks, discussing details, writing down lists and bringing up new ideas that could take place. The festival is usually very colorful, friendly, and welcoming for the general public. Kyungsoo heard a few students talk about how last year the chosen theme color for the decorations was orange. So this year they should choose something else.

He was really curious about the whole thing. Now that he's a sophomore, he will have to participate in the festival making. Which will be his first highschool festival experience as a whole. That's pretty exciting. Kyungsoo hoped he'll be able to be of good use and contribute to the hard work that goes into raising this event into existence.

"Hey, Kyungsoo, do you play any instruments? Or sing?" Chanyeol asked him as his attention drew away from the the other students gathered into little groups and having interesting preparation conversations. Kyungsoo shook his head.   
"No, not at all." But Chanyeol just chuckled in light disbelief.   
"Really? With your voice I was convinced you'd be into singing at least." He hummed calmly.

Kyungsoo felt his face heating lightly at the comment. His voice? Does it mean that Chanyeol likes his voice? Or maybe that he's simply disappointed that Kyungsoo will never dare to sing in front of other people? Or maybe this is a hint for Kyungsoo to begin practicing? Chanyeol is in charge of the musical performance for the festival after all... Will he be forced to go up there and perform? Kyungsoo's mind spiraled into an endless array of questions.

"Eh~ I'm also surprised." Baekhyun barged into the conversation.   
"You look like you could be a singer. And your voice is good! Jongdae and I sing a loooottttt together!" He grinned with pride. Honestly, it both surprised but also didn't surprise Kyungsoo at all to learn this new fact about these two. They are so colorful in their very core that it almost feels like something would be missing if they hadn't liked singing as well.

Truthfully, the only times Kyungsoo does sing are when he showers. Or when he's alone in his room and starts daydreaming. Just to provide himself some background music, of course. So he cannot think of it as anything more than just a secret little activity of joy for him to share with himself only. He would never be able to sing in public.

"You guys could help with the preparations!" Chanyeol smiled at the three.   
"Sehun and I, together with three other seniors will perform a few songs, like 'Run This' by Exo and a few others. I'm pretty excited, to be able to perform again." He admitted with an unexpected innocent smile of happiness that left Kyungsoo staring at him in silence. Watching how he writes down different things on his preparation sheet with this much glee.  
Both Baekhyun and Jongdae seemed excited to receive roles in the production of the performances. Well, it sure is better than preparing banners for the sports teams or deciding on colors.   
"Baekhyun, you could help us prepare the stage effects, right? Jongdae, I trust you with the setlist. Kyungsoo... Hmm..." Chanyeol began spreading the roles to each of them.

Baekhyun smiled and even saluted with a huff to accept his duty, Jongdae sent pcy a thumb up, and Kyungsoo sat there, waiting with anticipation to learn which role he'll be getting. Anything will do. He wants to help. And being a part of this team means he will have the possibility of helping Chanyeol directly. That'd be like a dream come true. He will finally be of actual use.

"Could you... Help us with the food and water, in practices... And during the performance?" Chanyeol asked gently, there's a little bit of insecurity in his voice. It must be because Chanyeol hasn't gotten to see Kyungsoo when he focuses on his job properly.

Kyungsoo will have to prove his worth by being the most useful and amazing food and water carer that ever existed.   
"Yes! I'll do that." He quickly nodded with confidence, noticing how Chanyeol's weary smile turned into a pleased one. He's got this.

"Shouldn't we begin buying things ro prepare then? You think it's all on school's budget?" Baekhyun asked later, when the day has come to an end. "Well, the equipment will be... But if we get carried away buying useless things I'm pretty sure that'll be on us." Jongdae said halfheartedly, as he was busy tapping on his mobile phone for a few moments. Then he turned to Kyungsoo.   
"Wanna join us as well?"   
"Ah, no, its okay, I've got things to do." He would have accepted if they've asked that before the roles for the festival were given to any of them. But after he's got his role, Kyungsoo knew he had an important mission to complete. Expectations to stand up to, and needs to fulfill.

If he's in charge of food and drinks for the team working on the performances outside, he will have to learn how to make food types that wouldn't harm the throat of the singers, and also give the band enough energy during practices and the performance itself. According to Chanyeol the performance will contain a bunch of groups or individual people performing. Two girls even applied for a little comedy session. Kyungsoo will have to cater to all of them.

"But... Will it be okay to... Ask for help later on?" He asked a little worriedly a little while later, just to make sure they don't think he's declining them harshly in any way.   
"Of course! You can count on us!" Baekhyun grinned, raising his fist up in the air and pretending to flex his muscles. Jongdae chuckled lightly before smacking his arm down, which caused Baekhyun to act out as if his entire arm had lost its power. More laughter echoed from the two as they waved at him and left the classroom.

They are so adorable. Kyungsoo loves them so much. He knows how nice these two are. If he told them what he's planning they will insist on helping him from the very beginning, even though they have their own parts to fulfill and responsibilities to take care of. He wouldn't mind working on this together, but he needed to learn on his own, too. This is his role. His own assigned way to contribute.

 

 

Kyungsoo headed over to the computer located in the school's library. He did some research about which books contain recipes that fit what he needs for his very specific requirements. Clearly, none of them are present within the school's library's stock, so he went out to the town's library in order to borrow out healthy cooking books that'd fit.

One face he didn't expect to see in the library appeared in his vision. Sitting on one of the floor leveled cushions at the reading corner at the center of the library's main hall, was Jongin. Kyungsoo was more than glad that he wasn't noticed. Jongin is such an impressive being to simply look at. Staring at him for too long would get everybody a little overwhelmed. For Kyungsoo's advantage, Jongin was so concentrated on the book being held in his hands, that even when Kyungsoo had to cross right in front of the sitting area, he wasn't spotted.

While picking out the books he wrote down on a note for himself to remember after the computer research, he kept wondering how is it even possible for someone to look like they're in the middle of a fashion magazine photoshoot while simply sitting and reading a book. But well, he had other duties to worry about a little more.

On his way back from the library, he saw the girl that comes to talk with Chanyeol right at the entrance to their class nearly every day. She was beautiful. Her eyes large and round, her makeup always on point and her hair styled in ways that make it look fluffy and smooth. She could totally pass as an idol celebrity if she tried.

Distracted by his thoughts about how impressive she looks, and Sehun's reaction to her middle school profile picture, he suddenly realized his foot had bumped into a curve on the pavement. But before he could bring himself back to balance, he ended up falling and dropping the books on the ground accidentally. Almost like fluid, they spilled out of the bag the librarian had given him to carry them all.

He was embarrassed, to say the least, for having something this clumsy happen to him out in public, but he gulped it in and kneeled down to pick them up carefully. However, another hand suddenly came in his field of view. A soft looking hand with bright red nailpolish giving it a delicate appearance. That hand gave him one of the books that flew further away when he fell. When looking up to find whose hand it was, he saw the girl smiling at him gently.

"Thank you!" Kyungsoo bowed politely when they stood up again, and she chuckled gently at his over emphasized gratitude.   
"I hope you find the recipe you're looking for." She said calmly, her voice light and sweet like honey. She then nodded at him politely before waving goodbye and leaving.

Whoa, she was so thoughtful and observant to notice that the books were all cook books. Is everybody Chanyeol surrounds himself with this incredible? Kyungsoo felt like he had just been blessed by some heavenly being that just happened to be there and help him. What a wonderful lady, he'd expect it probably onl from Chanyeol's friends.

During the weekend, he studied into the books, and collected a whole new book's length of recipe papers he could use to provide the festival performing groups and production crew with the best, most delicious, healthiest meals that'd keep their bodies balanced for their task.

Then, back at school, the sophomores were hopping between normal lessons and festival related free time given to them in order to prepare for it further. Kyungsoo didn't know what to expect from their schedule of activities, so even though there was a possibility of nothing happeneing, he brought a large box filled with special salty cupcakes he made just in case. Luckily, they came into use exactly as intended.

Kyungsoo spent the day helping Baekhyun and Jongdae with the stage building. As he tagged along and handed every single one of the students working a cupcake and a bottle of water, he realized just how much planning building a stage like this requires. They had to work with exact measurements of surface sizes, making sure there's enough space for the cords to run through, enough safety measurements to ensure everyone's well being. He was awed, to say the least, from how incredibly well Baekhyun and Jongdae worked together as heads of the whole process.

The next day he did the same, the after that, and another one too, until at some point after a lesson they've had in class like actual students, he noticed Chanyeol staring at him with a little pout. His arms were crossed too.

"What is this, I keep hearing that you bring food and water to the people building the stage, but you haven't showed up to a single practice of our band... We're hungry and thirsty too, you know." He complained in a childish tone. Kyungsoo could only look at him in surprise. Has... Has he disappointed Chanyeol by not being aware of the fact that he needed to come to the practices as well? Did he mess up already? He felt his heart starting to sink.

"Hey, hey, Kyungsoo, I was just joking, don't look too shocked." Chanyeol quickly waved his hands in the air, looking a little nervous while retracting back his words. "You've done an amazing job out there." He spoke again, easing down the stress that built in Kyungsoo's chest to reassure him.

"I was just..." Chanyeol averted his eyes and smiled apologetically. "I was just teasing you, because I wanted you to come to our band practice as well. Even without the food and water... Just, come and watch for a while?" He looked unexpectedly shy while speaking, and Kyungsoo noticed a bit of a pink shade creeping over his adorable ears. He was quite distracted in appreciating Chanyeol's ears, that only after Chanyeol had already left the classroom to head to practice, he realized he just got individually invited to watch them play regardless of his job as a crew member.

He spent the entire evening at home cooking and humming to himself from the excitement, shyness, and happiness that engulfed him as a result. Making nearly double the amount of food. Tomorrow, he will defintiely fulfill his duty, and take care of the performers too.

 

 

The next day, he got to watch the first band practice in his life. Each one of the band members greeted him happily as he entered, all of them even knew his name. At first it was a weird chaos of noises. Kyungsoo was sitting in a chair beside the band, who were all standing in a formation that'll be the same as the stage.

Each one of them individually tuned their instrument and stretched to prepare for the actual playing. So with everything being out of coordination, he was very curious to see how things will sound as a whole.

He was definitely not disappointed though, when they finally began their actual practice with what their main singer said was a 'jamming session' to warm up. Which means none of them really know what they're going to play at all. But almost like some sort of magical harmony, one by one, they started layering their playing over each other, creating a unique jazzy tune to which the singer could join in to.

Kyungsoo sat there in absolute awe. Music really does bring people together. Slowly but steadily, everything fell into connected rhythm and beat, the mood kept ascending together with the amount of hype the melody included, until it reached a peak in which they all began grinning and sweating from the effort. It was beautiful. It was so grogeous, so raw, to see how humans are able to connect so deeply through sound.

The practice lasted for hours, in which they had a few breaks to drink Kyungsoo's water, and Kyungsoo's prepared food. He was sure he'd be helping Chanyeol out by bringing all of this over, but in the end Chanyeol was the one helping him distribute the food to everyone.

He got to learn a lot about how even more incredible Sehun and Chanyeol are. The seniors in the band too, are very cool and kind hearted people. They kept teasing the two of them a lot in an affectionate manner. And their lead singer is really a sweetheart, she even talked with Kyungsoo during one of the breaks and told him how he's welcome to come to her in case he ever needs anything from a senior. Other than being a wonderful person, she really knew what she was doing in the band. Her voice fit perfectly with their sound.

Kyungsoo was so happy. He was exposed to yet another side of Chanyeol that he hasn't seen before. He got to see him rock on with the music, be happy, hyper, express all of his joy and energy, sweat, laugh, and simply enjoy himself to the max. Chanyeol was so happy, and it resonated deep in Kyungsoo's heart as well. He felt so lucky for being able to see Chanyeol like this... Free, and wild, and him. Even when he tried he couldn't take his eyes off of the enlightening sight.

And so his days continue. Every evening is filled with cooking, luckily the ingredients are all a part of the funding, so none of it came out of Kyungsoo's personal pocket, and the mornings are filled with giving away everything he had worked to cook. His recipes vary from healthy salted cupcakes, to little wrapped sushi rolls, to small boxes of salads, or pasta, or even just fresh sandwiches. Kyungsoo, together with his pile of water bottles, have managed to feed the entire stage crew and performing crew every day.

At the beginning he would have stayed and helped the stage crew a little more, but after finding the magic that lies within the band practice room, he spent his time there instead. Blessing his ears and eyes with everything there was to absorb.

Normally he would be the first one to leave the practice room once the sessions are over, since the others had to continue packing up their instruments properly. But somehow, in the last few practices, he ended up staying until the very end. He just got so immersed, and without fail, Chanyeol and him would walk home together afterwards too. Which was a big bonus.

At one point after everybody had left the practice room after a session, only Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were left in the room. Chanyeol was adjusting a few things in his drum set while Kyungsoo was cleaning up the remaining wrappers of the food he had brought for everyone to share.

"Psst~ Kyungsoo." Chanyeol whispered in his direction at one point. Not that it was needed, since they were the only ones there, but he turned and looked at Chanyeol questioningly anyway.   
"Come here." He signaled for him to approach with his finger and a smile. Kyungsoo obliged and came to stand in front of Chanyeol.   
"Try this." Chanyeol smiled and gestured towards his seat in front of the drum set. Huh? Is Chanyeol seriously inviting him to play on his drums? Kyungsoo has absolutely no idea how to play them.

"A-Are you sure? I cannot really play anything." He admitted and looked around at the instruments sitting and waiting in their stands.   
"Come on! Just give it a try. You look so happy when we play, it'd be fun!" He grinned down at him, and grabbed over his shoulders gently to lead him to the seat. Surprisingly, none of the drums were too high for his reach. Maybe that's why Chanyeol began adjusting them all of a sudden. Just for the sake of letting Kyungsoo try them out for himself.

It started a little awkwardly, but as embarrassed as Kyungsoo felt, Chanyeol kept laughing and smiling so much, dazzling him with happiness radiating out of his beautiful energy. After an amusing session on the drums, Chanyeol explained how he actually knows how to perfectly play every single one of the instruments in the room, then gave Kyungsoo a sample of each by rocking out an unexpectedly skillful tune on his own.

Not only that, but he even let Kyungsoo attempt to play on them as well. It became like a habbit of theirs, every time a practice had ended, the two of them would remain in the room just to spend some more time together. Chanyeol would okay whatever came to his mind, and Kyungsoo would be blessed by being there and seeing it right in front of his eyes. Hearing Chanyeol's precise skillset of talents and abilities on each of the different instruments. What more would be be able to pull out of his sleeve as an ace card to become even greater in Kyungsoo's eyes? He keeps surprising him every single day.

Spending time together like this on their own, having fun, laughing and enjoying each other's company with no interruptions, made Kyungsoo remember the summer they shared together thanks to their duty to school, and then the movies they went to watch together. He was so free with Chanyeol back then, and now, he's able to return to the same feeling of happiness. He's very glad, because it felt like it'll be hard to break down the barrier that began building between them ever since the school year began.

Chanyeol told Kyungsoo about the acoustic guitar he had at home, and how much he loves practicing on it when he's got the time. And Kyungsoo was grateful to Chanyeol for giving him the opportunity to experience such new horizons he'd never dreamed of.

After one especially fun after-practice time with Chanyeol, the two of them put everything back in order and locked the room, then began making their way home together. Talking cheerfully to one another about the taste in music that they have discovered they share. But out of the corner of Kyungsoo's eye, he was able to spot a familiar face looking at them from one of the windows.

A more focused look in that direction revealed it was the girl, the one beautiful girl that helped Kyungsoo with his books, the one girl that keeps coming and talking to Chanyeol at the entrance of their classroom, the one who appeared in their middle school year book. Once he recognized it was her, Kyungsoo turned to look up at Chanyeol, and direct his attention to her as well. Maybe she needed something to fo with him.

But by the time Kyungsoo had pointed to where he spotted her, she was already gone.   
"Are you sure you didn't just see a ghost?" Chanyeol teased him playfully. Kyungsoo rubbed his cheek in confusion. Could it really have just been his imagination? He's never had such vivid hallucinations before if that's the case.   
"I don't think I can really see ghosts..." He admitted, deep in thought. Chanyeol's wide laughter threw him back out of the serious thought process.   
"I know, I'm just joking. You're more of a blessing than a curse." He said in a calm tone, his eyes warm and affectionate, looking right into his. Kyungsoo couldn't do anything but quickly avert his eyes and smile to himself uncontrollably.

The smile hasn't left his face even until he had already finished cooking and preparing the next batch of food rations for the next day. Normally, Kyungsoo would barely be found smiling at anything or anyone at all. He's never really been an expressive type when it comes to communicate with others, because he'd be too shy before being able to share any emotion.

But now... Whenever Chanyeol's around, it's harder for him to hold back from smiling, instead. Chanyeol just lights up his heart and hopes, and he couldn't be be any more grateful about it.

Through his time working between handing out food, he really did his best to makre sure every hardworking student got what they were supposed to get. He was very surprised when other classmates or grademates that work on the whole event kept praising him for his hard work and how he manages to take care of everybody's needs so well. He was very happy from the praises. Even if the truth is that he was able to gather the courage to do any of it thanks to Chanyeol and the fact that he assigned that role for him.

 

 

The festival is approaching quickly, and there are only a few formal preparations need to be done for the stage and performances. Such as prepare the back of the stage, take care of the many cables and cords, make everything safe, and other various things. That day everyone had to help out in a lot of physical labor to move stage parts, heavy equipment, chairs and such out in the heat of the sun.

Somehow, Kyungsoo managed to finish his part early, and after changing back to his normal uniform, headed back to class. It was completely empty, everyone's bags were still there too. So he felt a sense of relief and responsibility to keep everybody's properties under watch. Right as he was about to shut the classroom's door, someone came and stood beside him.

It was none other than the beautiful girl he had seen before. The one that speaks with Chanyeol a lot, the one that helped him with the books when he fell down, the one that went to middle school with Baekhyun Sehun and Chanyeol. She's so gorgeous... Like a pretty doll that came to life. He isn't sure, but if he remembers correctly from the vague conversation she appeared in, her name is Sohda.

She looked at the empty classrom for a little while, then turned to look at Kyungsoo with a curious friendly smile.   
"Excuse me, do you happen to know where Chanyeol is?" She asked, her voice soft and pretty just as she looks. Kyungsoo felt a little overwhelmed to be spoken to by her when she's this close, almost like he felt towards Chanyeol in the past.

"Uhm... Sorry, I think everyone are still out there working for the festival..." Kyungsoo replied. Sohda hummed understandingly and crossed her arms, resting a finger on her chin as she began thinking.   
"What should I do..." She asked out to the air, but this clearly isn't an answer for him to give. Kyungsoo was just surprised by how such an amazing person is willing to speak with him so casually. She really does give off the same heavenly feeling that Chanyeol does.

As they continue standing there quietly, Kyungsoo suddenly felt the need to continue with the conversation anyway. Maybe it's because its so easy for him to compare the two of them.   
"I don't think you'd remember... But you helped me pick up the books I've dropped before. Thank you again for that." He bowed his head towards her politely, causing her to chuckle lightly and shoot him a slightly embarrassed smile.   
"There's really no need for that, anyone would have done the same. No need to thank me so formally for something so minor." She dismissed her own actions humbly.

As expected of Chanyeol's acquaintances, she's overflowing with kindness. So sweet. It got quiet between them again, they just kept looking at each other. The more ksoo looked at her, the more he realized he can't find any flaws at all. Seriously like a doll.

"You remind me of a doll!" Sohda suddenly said with a brighter smile. Did... Did she read Kyungsoo's mind? Or maybe Kyungsoo himself said it without realizing?   
"I'm sorry, I must have said it out lou---"   
"No, I'm the one who said it." Sohda smiled at his confusion warmly. "You're Do Kyungsoo, right?" Whoa... She knows his name? But more importantly--- Did she just call Kyungsoo a doll?!

"I barely get to see you around school, but when I helped you pick up the books, I remember thinking that you looked like one of those beautiful porceline dolls with the pretty lips and big eyes." Sohda then continued with an even softer and more genuine smile. Kyungsoo couldn't handle this much kindness from a person, especially not when that person looks like the embodiment of perfection. How can she even say such things to him when she looks like it herself? Kyungsoo felt like his brain just got fried.

Before he could say anything in reply after the groundbreaking shock of receiving such a strong compliment from the human representing perfection, a group of girls arrived at the hallway behind them.   
"Sohda! Come on let's go, we have to get back to the teacher!" One of the girls' voices called from behind Kyungsoo, and just like that, Sohda nodded him a farewell and hurried over to her friends.

Kyungsoo sat in class and waited for his fellow classmates to arrive after, his mind kept repeating Sohda's overpowered compliment at him over and over again. He didn't even realize anybody returned until Baekhyun and Jongdae flopped in their seats in front of him and called out his name suspiciously.

"What is it kyungsoo? Anything happened?" Baekhyun asked and began sipping on his water bottle. "You look like you're daydreaming." Jongdae added and placed his elbow on the end of Kyungsoo's table while resting his head against his palm.

"I got complimented..." He mumbled, still in a bit of a daze, before falling right back into reality with both of his friends gasping in excitement and leaning in closer to him to examine his slowly reddening face.   
"What was it?" They asked in unison, their voices melodic in a teasing way.   
"T-That I look like a doll..." Kyungsoo managed to say while fiddling with his fingers and avoiding making eye contact with either of them.

Luckily, it seemed that after hearing his answer they didn't have as much of an extreme reaction as he had expected. They glanced at each other in surprise and then smiled warmly at him, in a calming reassuring way.   
"Ahh~ Is that so?" Jongdae hummed brightly.   
"Well, they weren't wrong!" Baekhyun added with a grin. Kyungsoo was eventually able to calm back down and smile at their answer.

Then Chanyeol stepped into the classroom, grabbing Kyungoo's attention immediately as he walked with a bunch more of his friends until settling in his seat.   
"So? How's the stage preparation going on the technical level, Baekhyun?" He asked, and the two of them began chatting. Kyungsoo didn't pay much attention to what they were saying, as he was too busy putting his attention into admiring the way Chanyeol looks with his uniform's upper button opened, and his hair fluffed up after the hard work outside in the sun.

"Without Kyungsoo, we wouldn't have survived through the day!" Baekhyun's voice brought him back to reality, he didn't really hear the entire sentence, but from the way Chanyeol turned to smile at him with so much warmth he knew it was something about him, and defintiely something good.   
"You've done well!" Chanyeol praised him cheerfully.

Kyungsoo would have let his soul float out of his body, if it wasn't for the fact that he remembered the reason Sohda got to speak with him at all today. It must have been important, because she was willing to talk with him. Even when the situation is dire most people wouldn't dare to approach Kyungsoo.

"Before everyone arrived to class, Sohda was here to speak with you, Chanyeol." He explained, back in a neutral state of mind again. Ah, maybe this wasn't the right thing to say. He just got praised after all, he should have at least thanked Chanyeol.   
"Oh, thanks for letting me know. It was probably something about the festival's preparations." Chanyeol said while stretching his long arms upwards and scrunching his face. Ah, he's so cute. But now the moment of high spirits from praising is gone. He'll take better use of it if it happens again in the future. Though, it seems that Sohda is also a part of the festival organizing team, like Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo is still having a hard time trying to grasp just how Chanyeol and everything about him is. There isnt a number large enough to be able to list all of his good attributes, and how much positivity he spreads to every person that comes in touch with his existence in one way or another. Even though the two of them have gotten to spend more time together thanks to the preparations, without the musical practices happening anymore, rather than feeling closer, Kyungsoo felt even more nervous to be around pcy, again. Like an even larger wall has been raised between them. And he can't explain that sort of feeling.

In the past he would have only dreamed about being able to do any of what he now considers to be the norm with Chanyeol, he truly admires him and everything about him. But recently it feels like something is slightly changing. Like something had shifted ever so slightly to the side, and now there's another light flow of a new kind of emotion going through Kyungsoo whenever Chanyeol even so as crosses his mind.

The preparations continue on their way, now that everything physical has been settled properly on the school grounds, most of the work that's left involves paper work, decorations, and general assistance in the more official aspect of the planning. So Kyungsoo isn't needed around as much as he was before. He sometimes helped Baekhyun install some lightbulbs on the stage, he still came to deliver food and drinks to the band practices when he had the time, and now he was busy doing some paper deliveries for Jongdae.

While walking through the halls, Kyungsoo's mind just like an automatic pilot, came back to the point of default. Which is, of course, thinking about Chanyeol. The subject to think about Chanyeol today is, his ears. His large adorable ears. He could have thought about them for eternity if it wasn't for the sudden mention of Chanyeol's name by one of the students in the hall.

"Isn't this Chanyeol?" The female student said.   
"Ah, he seems to be talking with Sohda again." The guy standing beside her replied.   
"Don't sound so disappointed. Did you really think you had a chance? There's no way any of us could approach those two. Aren't they the perfect couple?" She spoke again.   
"Now that you say it like this... They do look pretty good together."   
Kyungsoo listened in to their exchange, and after changing his standing angle, actually had clear sight of Chanyeol and Sohda standing and chatting with each other by the stairs.

He has to admit, the two of them are almost blinding. Sohda is short and adorable like a real life doll, and Chanyeol is tall and handsome, as if he came straight out of a love comic. Not only do they look like godly beings amongst this earth of mortals, they genuinely are such kind and incredible people at heart, nobody could even try and compare. Kyungsoo wasn't sure if he wishes to be Chanyeol, or Sohda in that situation.

 

 

Maybe... Maybe he will be able to become a little more like them.   
"I wonder if I should get a new hairstyle... Maybe a perm, or a new color..." Kyungsoo thought out loud one day during lunch break. Sohda's dyed hair is so smooth and soft looking. If he put some effort into his own, he could enjoy it better, perhaps?

Both Baekhyun and Jongdae looked at him surprised.   
"You want to get a perm? Dye your hair? What style are you thinking about?" Jongdae asked curiously before munching on another bite of his food.   
"Something... Fluffy..." Kyungsoo mumbled lightly, looking at his own food, but in his mind all he saw were Chanyeol's puppy-like styled hair and Sohda's soft styled curls.

"Have you had this style of hair your whole life?" Baekhyun asked, refering to Kyungsoo's smooth bangs.   
"It was a little shorter up until I became a highschool junior, I think." Kyungsoo gently ran a finger through his bangs.

"There are lots of things you can do! But you should really decide what you want before going to the stylist otherwise you might regret it." Jongdae said reassuringly. And Baekhyun eyed him with a grin from the side.   
"Why does it sound like you're talking from experience?" He teased, and Jongdae froze in his spot as if he just got caught in the middle of a crime.   
"W-Well, one time I didn't know what I wanted... And the stylist gave me old woman's bangs.... I had to wear a hat for a whole month straight." He admitted with a pout before rubbing his head.

Even right now, Baekhyun and Jongdae look well styled. These two really do put effort into themselves. Just like Chanyeol. Baekhyun's hair is light brown with smooth even lighter bangs that look like an anime character. Jongdae's hair is shorter yet properly fitting for his head and face. And Chanyeol... Chanyeol's hair is permed lightly, and also dyed in a dark brown. Honestly, he looks like a puppy most of the time. Especially when his ears peek out from between all the hairlocks. It's adorable.

It's not that Kyungsoo never takes care of his own appearance, he just never became very experimental when it came to hair. His hygiene is top notch, he loves keeping things clean and simple. So his skin is smooth and healthy, and his hair remains soft like silk without styling it at all.   
"Either way, you gotta decide your goal before you go and get it." Jongdae concluded after being teased by Baekhyun for the past minute.

Another school day has come to an end.  
Kyungsoo couldn't help but wonder. Maybe if he would have taken his hairstyle and appearance more seriously, Chanyeol would be openly chatting with him in the hallways like he does with Sohda. Maybe if he tried harder, when he talks with Chanyeol other people will find them as blinding as he finds Chanyeol and Sohda to be. He knew he would never be able to compete with someone as amazing as Sohda, but maybe....

"Kyungsoo!" A voice he can already recognize by now called his name behind him. He turned around calmly, nodding politely towards Yerim and another friend of hers as they made their way to him. It was her tall friend, she has a very mature body figure, like a supermodel. She's very pretty too, even though she's busy doing something on her phone and her face is distracted to be kept in tact.

"Yerim, hello." He smiled lightly, and she grinned up at him, her arm locked in her friend's as they began walking at the same pace at him.   
"I've heard soooo many people talking about you lately! Right, Sooyeong?" She turned to her friend, who placed her phone in her bag and waved at Kyungsoo lightly.   
"Yup, nice to meet you Kyungsoo, I'm Sooyeong." She introduced herself in a friendly manner.

"Everyone are saying how you were like a savior to them when they worked on the outer stage of the festival. Did you really put so much effort into making food and bringing water for them all every day?" Yerim asked with curiousity.   
"I wouldn't call myself a savior... But...Yes, I prepared enough for all of the teams when we worked." He nodded.

"Awww, he really is as sweet as Sohda said!" Sooyeong squeeled lightly.   
"What do you mean Sohda... She said completely different things... I was the one who told you about him!" Yerim pouted up at her friend, who instead of answering pouted back and tightened the hold of their arms together. It seemed to Kyungsoo that their friendship is also strong in its own way. Seeing friends this closely together, ever since Baekhyun and Jongdae, makes his heart feel warm and cosy.

"Anyway, we're heading out to the shopping district. See you around!" Yerim smiled back at Kyungsoo before Sooyeong and her took a turn in one of the streets, talking cheerfully between themselves. Ah... They are so nice. And cute. Yerim, Sooyeong, Seungwan, Seulgi... The four of them somehow help Kyungsoo keep his spirits up and remain encouraged with anything he does. He's very thankful to their constant kindness.

Shortly after parting ways with the two of them however, Kyungsoo noticed Chanyeol talking with a few people behind him in the path. So instead of barging by, Kyungsoo decided to step aside and stand against the wall in the shade. He'll just be looking at them quietly until they'll be done.

Chanyeol is so popular... People always know him, always talk to him. He makes it look so easy to whoever sees him do it, but Kyungsoo already learned just how difficult it is to have a proper conversation with anyone at all. Chanyeol looked like he's really enjoying it, too.

"What, really? You're one of the festival's organisers?" One of the guys asked.   
"Yup... Always getting involved in these things somehow." Chanyeol laughed.   
"Anybody else from middle school's in the organizing team?" Another guy asked, they must be from a different highschool, since their uniform colors are different.   
"Yeah, Dahee is there." He replied with a smile.

The guys all responded with silly noises of excitement and even a whistle.   
"Oh boy, you're really going for it now, huh?" One of the guys said and smacked Chanyeol's back.   
"I'm really not..." He laughed awkwardly, as the bunch continued talking. But they were already out of Kyungsoo's hearing range, since he began sinking in thoughts.

Why... Does chanyeol call her Dahee? The only one in the organisers group for the festival who's been with Chanyeol in middle school is Sohda.   
Maybe they really do have a deep connection. Ah... So that's how it is. People who know Chanyeol from middle school all think that he's doing this in order to get closer with Sohda? Or maybe they think that the two of them were into each other ever since then? Maybe that's the case...

Kyungsoo barely sees Chanyeol speak this easily and comfortably with other girls, actually. He's the only one calling her differently, too. But Kyungsoo also knows that Chanyeol didn't actively choose to become a part of the organizing team for the festival either, he was assigned by the teacher.

Is it fair for him to think of all of these possibilities on his own? Kyungsoo had already learned the hard way that it's always better to ask someone what they feel and think before deciding anything for them. He never asked Chanyeol before, whether or not has a partner like Jongdae does. He wondered what makes Sohda so special that Chanyeol has a special way to call her, and that he's able to freely communicate with her like that.

Kyungsoo's train of thoughts was sharply interrupted when a chilly looking bottle of juice was placed right in his field of vision.

He jumped lightly, and realized it was Chanyeol standing beside him in the shade and smiling, offering him a bottle of juice while holding his own in his other hand.   
"Hey, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol said, and Kyungsoo realised his heart began beating quickly in his chest. This is... A completely different feeling from what he was used to feeling towards Chanyeol. This time, instead of being filled with warmth and admiration, his chest almost hurts.

He stared up at Chanyeol in silence for a long time without responding. Long enough for Chanyeol's expression to shift from a smile, into curiousity, into averting his eyes sideways with nervousness, and into turning them back to Kyungsoo, all in silence. The bottle was still held towards Kyungsoo, too.

Kyungsoo was so surprised by the way his own heart and mind are behaving at this moment, that he wasn't sure what kind of expression is appearing on his face, to cause Chanyeol to have this many struggling on deciding how to talk to him. What is he feeling? What's making the center of his body feel so heavy?

"I... Not to scare you, Kyungsoo... But I think I---" Chanyeol began saying, his voice very quiet. Unlike his usual expressive volume. Almost like he was struggling to put the words out of his mouth. A feeling Kyungsoo could relate to. But due to the state of his own mind, Kyungsoo was focused on his lips, reading them to make sure he doesn't misunderstand what he's being told. Somehow, the situation suddenly felt very intense.

He never saw Chanyeol having this much trouble speaking before. His voice was weak and emotional, his eyes were pointing down with what looked like shyness, and his ears peeked bright red from between his hairlocks. This was important, Kyungsoo could tell.

"Kyungsoo... I---"  
"Chanyeol! Kyungsoo!" A soft cheerful voice interrupted him from the street. It was Sohda, standing there and smiling at them gently. What just happened? Chanyeol was trying to say something to him, right? What was it...? It sounded like something that Kyungsoo wouldn't want to miss. But it was too late to find out now. Chanyeol had already turned to look at her, his body stiffened ever so slightly when he smiled in her direction while she stepped closer to them both.

"What are you two doing?" She chuckled at the bottle being held in Chanyeol's hand.   
"Nothing, really." Chanyeol replied, sounding like he got caught off guard. Oh, that's right, he got the juice for Kyungsoo. Even held it for him this whole time. Without saying anything, Kyungsoo dug his palm into his bag, and pulled out a few coins. Then, in a slow yet calm motion, he grabbed the bottle and placed the coind in Chanyeol's palm instead.

It was most likely just his mind playing tricks on him. Chanyeol probably didn't even say anything at all. Or maybe he only said something about the juice he got for Kyungsoo. He was just overthinking about the atmosphere of the unlikely exchange they had moments ago for no reason at all. What an eventful day. It felt like everyone were waiting for afterschool hours to somehow bump into Kyungsoo today. Could it be that he's just thinking about Chanyeol too much? He must have misinterpreted the emotions behind his previous state.

Kyungsoo asked himself in his mind, looking up at the way Chanyeol complained about the heat and rubbed the sides of his forehead lightly, drying out the sweat, as Sohda laughed. Huh? It's not hot at all right now, actually, the wind is pretty chilly, especially in the shade. Wait, how come Kyungsoo himself is sweating so much as well? It felt like his body just went through an extremely loaded experience.

Out of the blue, Sohda stepped closer to Kyungsoo and pulled out a small square of a tissue paper. Gently, she began dabbing the cloth over Kyungsoo's sides of the face. Her expression concentrated yet soft. Both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol could only stand there and stare in surprise, until she smiled and pulled the cloth away.

"There you go. All cleaned up." She's... She's really too kind. Like an angel. Kyungsoo could absolutely understand why Chanyeol's middle school friends reacted the way they did. She really is way up there in the list of godly beings related to Chanyeol, so amazing. Even if somehow gave his heart a strange sting to imagine them closer.

"Oh, right, did you need anything earlier?" Chanyeol asked her after thanking Kyungsoo for the payment of the juice bottle.   
"Mmh, not really. I just saw the two of you standing here without moving... I thought it was a paused movie frame!" She laughed lightly. "Just came to check on Kyungsoo." She then said softly and smiled at Kyungsoo.

"We got to know each other after all." She added, grinning at Kyungsoo as if asking for his approval, or confirmation. He couldn't do much but nod lightly.

"Anyway," She began saying, before bowing lightly at the two of them. "I'm almost late to meeting up with my friends. See you!" Sohda cheered with her sweet voice and happily waved in their direction before disappearing beind one of the curves.

She's fantastic. It seemed that Kyungsoo had found another person to look up to at school. Another one added to the list of people that are too good to be real, and too good to be spending their time and effort on someone like him. So far, the list only contained Chanyeol, but Sohda is starting to come up as a close second. She cared so much about him that she even cleaned away his sweat. That was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for Kyungsoo.

Oh, this highschool year of his is definitely way more exciting than the last. He wished Junmyeon would have been around though, an advice from an old friend could really come in handy. Maybe even help with identifying his new strange emotions.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

 

Although Kyungsoo is very glad that things are going very well with Sohda, who keeps greeting him at every opportunity their paths cross around the school, some other things aren't going as well as expected.

Baekhyun and Jongdae are very curious and confused about his new unexpected connection with the girl that sweeps the entire school off its feet, and Chanyeol... Well, Kyungsoo's been getting increasingly nervous around him, again.

The two of them sit right next to each other at class, and yet sometimes Kyungsoo feels like they are worlds apart. If he felt like he had gotten closer to him before, now it feels like he's swaying back further and returning to the time where he would only be watching Chanyeol from afar like a dreamy highschool drama movie. They can't even make eye contact with each other without one of them, or even both of them, turning to look away right after.

Today was especially nervewrecking for some reason. After their casual morning greeting the two of them haven't exchanged a single word. Luckily, during the break, Sohda came to their class yet again to speak with Chanyeol, handing him a few papers regarding the festival. Kyungsoo watched the two of them in awe. Almost as if sparkles were floating around them. Sohda is so wonderful, Chanyeol is even more wonderful.

As awkward as things are between Chanyeol and himself, it seems that things are flowing better and more naturally than ever between Chanyeol and Sohda.

After exchanging a few words, as Sohda was about to leave, she actually turned to look behind Chanyeol and spotted Kyungsoo at the back of the class. With a smile she waved at him, and only then turned to exit. Ah... She's cute, charming, and friendly, on top of being kind. Sohda is really vastly different from other people. She never seem to be freezing and getting nervous when talking with anybody. Kyungsoo wished he could learn to be naturally friendly like her as well.

Walking around school while daydreaming is something Kyungsoo is so used to doing, because normally, everyone around him would make way for him to pass untouched. But now that his reputation around the school is changing rapidly, he realized he no longer had that privilege when he accidentally bumped into a few girls in the hallway.

A quick honest apology was easily accepted with a smile from the girls, and Kyungsoo felt a hand rest on his shoulder.   
"Kyungsoo? Is everything alright?" It was Sohda, looking at him with curious worried eyes. "You look so lost... If anything is bothering you, please know that I'll be here for you and do my best to help! So let me know!" She exclaimed confidently, yet the worry never left her expression.

Kyungsoo barely believed there will ever be a time where someone like Sohda would be offering him anything as meaningful as help and advice. This is beyond anything he'd ever expected. But seeing how well she comfortably speaks with Chanyeol when she does, and how easy it is for Chanyeol to talk with her, maybe Kyungsoo should take her for her word and receive an advice about the awkwardness surrounding the connection between Chanyeol and himself.

She must know Chanyeol pretty well. She came from the same middle school as him, and their relationship seems to be nice and close. Maybe even closer than what can be seen on the surface.

"C-Could we talk later?" Kyungsoo asked almost right away, nervous obvious in his voice. Sohda was a little surprised, but quickly smiled and nodded while holding onto his hand lightly. Even her palms are soft and gentle.   
"Of course! Let's meet near our classes." She nodded, then turned to leave with the group of girls he had bumped into.

"Is that Sohda?" Kyungsoo suddenly heard a male voice coming from behind.   
"Why was she talking with that Doshio guy?" Another male student asked.   
"He couldn't possibly be anything interesting for her to pay attention to. No way she'd be interested in... That." The other guy exclaimed, clear digust in his voice.   
"Whatever. It's annoying to see such a nuistance getting anything from her at all. She's way too good for this." They continued talking with one another, their voices fading into the distance.

Kyungsoo felt extremely discouraged about his whole closure development to Sohda, but he dismissed it out of his mind by reminding himself that after what happened with Baekhyun and Jongdae before, he's not going to let other people's destroy another one of his very few positive connections.

 

 

"So... You're having a hard time talking to Chanyeol?" Sohda asked later, as the two of them sat outside on a bench to speak privately.   
"Yes... It's different from talking to other people." Kyungsoo admitted, and after she examined Kyungsoo's expression for a bit, she began chuckling lightly.   
"You overthink this way too much!" Yes, that's what he thought as well. Sohda really got him.

"Since I've known him well from middle school, I can tell you... That whenever someone can't blend in with the rest of the class, he can't leave them alone. I know you've had a hard time getting along with the other classmates. So that must be why you think you two are pretty close. He talks with anyone, and I mean Anyone as if they're really close friends with him." Sohda began explaining, speaking in a matter of fact manner.   
"That means even if he's talking to you, I'm sure he'll treat you just like everyone else around him." She continued, and Kyungsoo could really relate and understand exactly what she means.

"It doesn't make you special or anything if he talks with you a lot. So I really don't think you need to feel awkward about talking with him at all." Wow, Sohda really is incredible. She understood the situation so well right away, and her words helped Kyungsoo ease down a whole lot.

It makes so much sense now, he knew that Chanyeol was this type of person already, but hearing someone who knows him even better explain it really helped him understand it way better. Things will be a lot easier, now that he knows he isn't being given any special treatment like he had been conceited enough to make himself consider.

"Though, Chanyeol and you are two very different types of people." Sohda then began thinking again. "Maybe it'll be easier for you to try and talk with other people in school who have a personality similar to yours, rather than someone as lively and cheerful as Chanyeol." She smiled at Kyungsoo lightly.

Wow, not only did she help him understand the situation better, but she even gave him a proper advice that sounds like could really solve the conflict going on in Kyungsoo's mind. He finally got to wrap his head around it.

"Oh, I understand it now. When the two of you talk, it feels so natural and comfortable. That's because you have similar personalities." Kyungsoo replied with subtle enthusiasm.   
"You match really well!"   
"Ahh, that's not true~ We're just normal friends." Sohda shook her head immediately.   
"Whoa, so being good friends with someone means having such comfortable closeness..." Kyungsoo mumbled mostly to himself with a dreamy nod.

If that's the way Chanyeol interacts with all of his friends, then it's only normal that Kyungsoo would become nervous because of it. He's never gotten to experience such closeness to people before, although he's slowly learning thanks to Baekhyun and Jongdae. All this time he had only blamed himself for this awkwardness, but it seems that Chanyeol's general openness also serves a factor in the situation.

Kyungsoo who comes from a background of isolation and disapproval, compared to Chanyeol who comes from a background of admirtion and liveliness. No wonder Kyungsoo's having a hard time adjusting to properly communicating with him.

He couldn't even greet Chanyeol properly in the mornings at first, even though greeting fellow classmates in the morning is just the very basic level of interaction that he had attempted, and failed, with other classmates before.

"Thank you, Sohda." Kyungsoo smiled at her softly. "You've helped me a whole lot. I feel a lot better about this now. I will continue doing my best from now on, and get over my fears. Maybe one day I could speak with him as freely as you do." He said hopefully, but then quickly shook his head dismissively.   
"Ah, I will never reach that, but I'll still try to make it better." He smiled at her instead, and bowed his head with gratitude.

She greeted him with a wave of goodbye as he left the bench and their conversation. He felt pretty embarrassed, for even daring to compare anything about himself to Sohda's way higher level of being. But everything she said was so insightful and true. Until the end of the day Kyungsoo continued analyzing the conversation in his head so he could learn even more from it. Left with, as always, another task to complete in school because he volunteered to save his classmates from the burden, he made his way outside with a water filled watering can.

All though last year he was also assigned by the various teachers to take care of the little garden. It was nice. Kyungsoo liked it a lot. Usually that spot of school isn't too crowded, and he's able to daydream to himself in peace.

Kyungsoo was calmly watering the flowers, humming a song from the upcoming performance of Chanyeol's band in the festival to himself. He hasn't really been to the band practices for some time. Of course he kept delivering the food when it was needed, but he didn't stay to watch them, or keep Chanyeol company when they end.

It was all quietl until he heard steps coming near him. The steps ceased at the trail diverting from the flower path.   
"Kyungsoo..." Kyungsoo would recognize this voice even in his sleep. It was Chanyeol.

He paused the watering process and turned to look up at Chanyeol curiously. Repeating Sohda's words of encouragement in his head.   
"I know I just called you, but I don't really know what I wanted to say..." Chanyeol admitted, looking pretty confused. Has he been practicing on his own? He looked a little sweaty. "Ugh what am I saying!" His nose scrunched in disgruntlement and he smacked his own face with his palm.   
"I just, saw you on the way to the vending machine, so---..." Chanyeol tried to explain himself, looking nervous and making strange gestures with his hands.

He's acting a little strange, but Kyungsoo understood now. From the way Chanyeol was behaving now, he knew that he wasn't the only one nervous. Chanyeol must have been feeling the same awkwardness and trying to find a way to deal with it on his own as well. He wondered if Chanyeol as well, had to go and ask for an advice from a friend to gather enough courage to approach him again like this. Isn't it hilarious?

Without noticing, Kyungsoo found himself standing there with the watering can and smiling, even laughing from the warm tingly sensation that spread through his body now that he realized he wasn't the only one in distress.

"This is the first time in weeks," Chanyeol suddenly said, sounding all calmed down and collected again. Kyungsoo looked at him curiously, seeing how Chanyeol's face turned into another one of his blindingly beautiful smiles that radiate everything that's good in the world.  
"That I've seen you smile like this." There was a shine of satisfaction in his eyes, and just like that, everything has been fixed again. All thanks to Chanyeol.

The two of them laughed for a short while, Kyungsoo felt the muscles in his body loosen down into relaxation. Chanyeol's wide shoulders also lowered in relief.   
"Ah, by the way, Minseok told me that Tan has gotten way bigger." He gestured with his hands like a child. "Tan also plays around a lot. Even fetch! This cat is sure he's a dog or something." Chanyeol grinned, and Kyungsoo chuckled heartfully at the image of a cat bringing back a thrown object. So cute!

"We should go see him again soon!" Chanyeol then claimed.   
"Yes, I would love to." Kyungsoo replied with as much energy he could muster to counter Chanyeol's. He hadn't really realized it, but the two of them were standing fairly close to one another now, compared to when the conversation began. Close enough so that he had to raise his head quite a lot to look up in Chanyeol's eyes. He felt like he could get lost in them if they continue this contact any longer.

Such little distance is the only thing separating them. Kyungsoo being within Chanyeol's vicinity is already a lot. But being this close started building a certain odd urge within him.

"Kyungsooo~!" Sohda's voice broke the intimate little moment of eye contact the two of them were sharing. She approached the two of them with a smile.   
"What are you two up to, why do you keep freezing like a paused movie frame every time I see you?" She laughed softly.   
"We were having an important conversation about cats, Dahee~" Chanyeol replied calmly. And Kyungsoo stared at them for a little bit.

Why... Why does Chanyeol call her differently from everyone else? Maybe now is a good time for him to bring it up. The two of them are so comfortable and easy to socialize with, that surely, it couldn't be a deep dark secret between them, right?   
"Dahee? Not Sohda...?"   
"Her name is Soh Dah Hee. Sohda was just her nickname since middle school. Everyone calls her that, so it might have been confusing." Chanyeol explained calmly. Kyungsoo could notice something a little strange happening to Dahee's expression for a moment, as if she's extremely upset for a split second, before she turned to him with a smile. "Haha, that's true."

So... This whole time, Kyungsoo kept feeling weird about Chanyeol calling her this what he thought was a nickname so casually, although he doesn't often show close connections with other girls, and now he found out that he was just calling her by real name? Sohda was just something that everyone has called her ever since middle school? Somehow, he felt extremely relieved knowing that. But he didn't exactly understand why.

Dahee's expression turned a little strange again. She looked tense and dissatisfied with something, but it quickly vanished yet again when she turned towards Chanyeol.   
"Chanyeol~ Do you mind if I borrow Kyungsoo for a bit?" She asks in her usual cheerful tone.  
"Oh, of course. Actually I have to get going back to the practice room again. I was on my way to get a drink, haha." He admitted and rubbed the back of his head. Kyungsoo wondered if he was the reason Chanyeol took so long to do what he set out to do.   
"I'll catch you later, Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol waved at him warmly and headed off, out of their sight.

 

 

Once Kyungsoo finished his watering job, he and Dahee met at the school's gate again, and began walking back. Strangely enough, she was acting a little different than usual. She walked in quick steps, and remained a small distance ahead of Kyungsoo's walking pace.   
"Sohda--- I mean, Dahee!" He called out in an attempt to slow her down.

"Don't call me Dahee!" She stopped in her spot and demanded in a cold almost aggressive voice. Slowly though, while turning her head towards Kyungsoo, her smile returned again.  
"Calling me Sohda is fine. Alright?" Her sweet voice returned as well. Kyungsoo was so taken aback by her quick intense change in the weather that he couldn't do much but nod in surprise. Maybe she's been having a bad day.

"Actually..." Sohda began talking again, back to her usual calmness and gentle voice.   
"There is someone that I really like, but I haven't done anything to show it to them... What do you think I should do?" Kyungsoo stares at her silently for a while.

Until he realized that this doesn't make any sense, how is he supposed to know? Sohda, perfect-at-everything-Sohda is asking him? Good-for-nothing-Kyungsoo, for a love advice? He has no idea what to say, what should she do? How will he know? Kyungsoo began panicking internally.

"Don't worry, I'm not lookin for advice." She chuckled, probably noticing Kyungsoo's stress rising.   
"What I'm saying is... I'm going to need your help, Kyungsoo." She said with a smile.  
"My help? Are you sur---"   
"You're the only one who can do this for me." She answered before Kyungsoo could even finish the question. Whoa... This is a lot of responsibility to carry for one Kyungsoo alone. Will he be able to do it? Whatever it may be.   
"I'll try my best." He decided, taking courage from Sohda's very own words he had received before. "What should I do, then?" He asked curiously, slightly worriedly, too.

"Don't worry about it, I will tell you what to do when the time is right." Sohda nodded cheerfully. At least it looks like she's back to her usual self, maybe she was stressing over this a lot and it just affected her earlier.   
"Won't I ruin the mood if I'm around though...?" Kyungsoo asked a bit nervously, since he's still known for being the possible ghost of death around the school. Sohda laughed lightly.

"Not at all! You see, it's someone that you know well." she said, her smile turning from soft into cold and distant. Her pretty white teeth are still showing from underneath her spreaded pretty lips.   
"The person I like is Chanyeol."

Oh. Ohh. Kyungsoo should have probably expected it. Maybe he was supposed to know that? Chanyeol is nice and cheerful with everyone, and the fact that he kept calling her by her actual name instead of her middle school nickname gave Kyungsoo the sensation that there was quite a connection between them. Does that mean the two of them are going to start dating? Chanyeol is going to have someone special to him? And Kyungsoo's going to help Soda achieve becoming that someone?

His mind began spiraling in a chaos of contradicting thoughts towards both Chanyeol and Sohda. He can't even point a finger at whether or not the majority of these thoughts are positive or negative.   
"Thank you, Kyungsoo, I'm really glad you're willing to help." Sohda smiled towards him with satisfaction. Almost as if she had stolen something that couldn't be given back. For that one moment, he was captivated by her smile.   
"I will see you tomorrow then!" She waved at him cheerfully and began walking away.

Wait... Wait... This is all wrong. He really does want to help her, she's been so kind and helpful ever since he met her, but this is not how things are supposed to go. Something inside him just cannot accept that. The two of them as a couple would have been the most dazzling pair in school, he knew that. They are both so amazing, but... Something just doesn't work. Something doesn't add up, doesn't match in Kyungsoo's head. Like two puzzle pieces that don't really sit together, so they connect, but they cannot be rested on a flat surface like they should.

Kyungsoo stepped forward, a few quick steps to catch up to the short distance she had made between them, and pretty swiftly, he grabbed onto her arm gently and made her stop and turn around halfway to look at him.

"I can't do this," He said before his mind could tell him otherwise. "I don't think I will be able to do this." He stood there and stared at her, hands holding onto her arm. His mind was in so much chaos that all the noise had turned into absolute silence at this point. A dry breeze blew in the air, it was incredibly loud in Kyungsoo's ears. A few moments of silence led to Sohda freeing her arm from Kyungsoo's hold and turning sideways, her expression no longer held any joy.

"I guess... I really don't suit Chanyeol... Huh." She looked like she's about to become sad, Is she trying to make Kyungsoo feel guilty for this? Because it surely does work.   
"That's not what I meant." Kyungsoo quickly responded a bit nervously.

"Huh? Then wouldn't you want to support me in this?" She asked, turning towards Kyungsoo fully with a saddened smile.   
"You're the only one I've ever told about this to... Or... Do you think that other girls would suit him better than me...?" She raised her hand up and began stroking her own long hair lightly.

"I do think that you two suit each other." Kyungsoo admitted, because really, they would look impossibly good together. They already do look good just by talking with each other around school.   
"Then---" Sohda began.   
"But. I can't really support you with my whole heart..." Kyungsoo cut her off and looked down at the ground, his mind feels like a tv screen displaying white noise, so everything that comes out now is straight out of his heart. It was the first time he had ever interrupted anybody else's words like that.

"It seems that Chanyeol is someone special to me. So I can't be of any help... I'm sorry." This is only fair, right? Since soda had shared her feelings with him, now he was able to share his deep feelings with her too. Just like her, he hasn't told anybody about them before. To be quite honest, he hasn't even realized he had these feelings before until this point.

He doesn't even know how to identify these feelings into an existing verbal term. But he knows that the stinging his heart felt whenever he imagined Chanyeol treating anybody else like they're special, is very real, and very painful. Kyungsoo wished that there was something else he could do for her instead. Chanyeol must be someone special to her just like he is to Kyungsoo.

Ah, there is something he could do. Kyungsoo began, looking at Sohda with a bright expression of hope.   
"Sohda, even though I cannot help you with this, I think I can understand the way you feel. So... If you ever want to talk about it, I'll be there to listen---"   
"You're so annoying." Sohda's eyes were cold and distant, her voice was also low and detached. Kyungsoo was surprised, and began looking around the two of them. Could there be a different person around them who said these words?

"Why won't you stop being so bothersome. Isn't this the point where you step back and realize just how different the two of us are?" She continued talking, but Kyungsoo found it hard to believe that such a mean sounding voice could come out of such a lovely marvelous person.

"What is this, what do you mean with 'understand the way you feel'?! Do you want to go out with Chanyeol or something?!" Sohda raised her voice, looking directly in Kyungsoo's face with an angry determined expression.   
"N-No! There's no way...!" Kyungsoo quickly responded, shaking his head and hands to decline, his confidence crumbling with surprise and fear from the amount of negative energy surrounding Sohda right now. He was scared that if he's say or do something wrong he will hurt her somehow.

Being shouted at like this by such an overwhelmingly beautiful and powerful person is something Kyungsoo has never experienced before, so his heart dropped to his feet when he saw the true sadness and anger in Sohda's eyes.   
"So?! What do you mean with Chanyeol being 'special' to you, then?!" She pestered further, stepping closer to his face.   
"W-Well---"   
"Is it because he was nice to you?!"   
"Yes---"   
"Paid attention to you?! Or maybe because he was just being friendly to you?!"   
"M-Maybe---" Kyungsoo couldn't process anything of what's happening right now, all he knew is that he must not hurt Sohda in any way, she's too good to deserve getting hurt by him.

"That's only because of his personality, isn't it?! So as long as someone is kind to you, it doesn't have to be Chanyeol, right?!" She slammed this argument against him. He was already leaning backwards to make sure to keep at least a bit of a distance between the two of them. Feeling so confused and lost.

Sohda kept staring at him for a few moments as he was unable to respond, until her face shifted from anger into pure sadness.   
"This isn't fair... Kyungsoo." Her voice sounded just as sad. "Just because others keep avoiding you because of your ghost-like looks... You don't even have to do anything to get Chanyeol's attention..." She mumbled, sounding like she's about to cry.

"You know... Even someone as pretty, as smart and as popular as me has to work so hard to get his attention!" Her voice gradually raised in volume and intestity again, as she began complaining angrily at him. Kyungsoo saw her eye shine with the possibility of tears, but she turned around and rushed away before it could grow further, her pretty hands clutched into fists.

Kyungsoo never knew it was so tough being this popular. Being up there at the top looked like something that promises nothing but happiness and ease. But, something else came over his thoughts. All this time... He was benefitting just because he is the infamous 'Doshio'? Does he really have an advantage he hasn't realized he does? Does he make things... Unfair?

Later that evening at home, as Kyungsoo was folding laundry in front of the TV, and watching with his parents, the drama that aired was displaying a similar situation to what happened between Sohda and him Just a few hours ago. Where the popular girl is angry at the outcasted girl for grabbing the male protagonists' attention.

As he was spreading the folded clothes to the right drawers, Sohda's words kept echoing in his head again. She was absolutely correct. Kyungsoo had only been taking advantage of Chanyeol's kindness all this time just because of his situation. He began wondering if maybe Sohda was right when she said that anyone would work in Chanyeol's stead as long as they are kind to him.

 

 

Faster than Kyungsoo was preparing for, the day of the festival had arrived. For the past few days anybody barely had any classes, the rest of the time spent at school was for the sake of decorating and finishing up the very last preparations for the event.

Along with the musical event that includes Chanyeol and his band, there would be a stand up act, a performance by the school's choir, a few speeches, and even football and basketball games between the schools in their field and gym. There will be guests from all over the town, students, children and parents alike. Even the mayor will be coming to visit.

In the morning, the principal had gathered all of the students outside in front of the stage, and gave them a small encouraging speech. The classics about doing their best to display the school's charm to everyone else at every aspect. Since the main event was happening outside, instead of using the classrooms, the students have been building little booths in the center of school's grounds. Foods, drinks, even school mascot merch, nice shady spots to sit and enjoy the day at, and other various attractions for the guests to visit. The school looked extremely colorful and festive.

Until all of the events actually begins, the students were allowed to have some free time to prepare. Most of his classmates remained in class to hype each other up. The atheletes were busy discussing the plans for their football and basketball matches, the booth operators were helping each other tie the aprons around their bodies, and the performers were chatting within themselves about the thrill of being on a stage for the first time.

As stage operator, Baekhyun was dressed in a very sportive outfit, and as they talked he added a hat to complete the look. As a setlist manager, Jongdae was dressed fairly formal, with a buttoned shirt and even a ribbon tie, only his lower half was simple black shorts and sports shoes. Sehun's outfit was even better, since he is a performer, he and the band had decided to go for a punk-rock style. He had a tight turtleneck shirt that accentuated his good figure, studded suspenders, and torn skinny jeans to match with it all. His hair was also styled backwards in a unique way.

They looked so cool. It was pretty interesting to see everyone wearing these outfits compared to the usual school uniforms. Kyungsoo should have done the same... But he hadn't thought about it when he prepared all the food and drinks this morning. So he came with the school uniform anyway. His job was the same as before, a simple backstage helper that makes sure all of the performers and operative crews were well fed, and well hydrated.

Kyungsoo was concentrating on preparing himself mentally for the job, that he realized Chanyeol was approaching him only when he already stood really closely in front of him.

Dressed in a low cut printed shirt, an extremely cool looking leather jacket, torn black jeans and army boots, along with a hairstyle that looked like a comma of hair on his freshly exposed forehead. Kyungsoo's heart burst in his chest. Chanyeol is incredible. So handsome, so hot, Kyungsoo's breath was shaking. He looked like a true music star, like the idol he is.

With a smile, Chanyeol raised his hand lightly, and waited patiently for Kyungsoo to do the same.   
"Good luck today! I'll see you backstage." He said cheerfully, and fist bumped into Kyungsoo's palm before leaving the classroom. Ah... Kyungsoo could die happily... But before he was able to appreciate the moment, Sehun's fist also bumped into his palm. "Good luck charm." He said with a small smile, following Chanyeol outside.

And then a whole line was formed in front of him by his classmates, each one of them fist bumping into his palm before leaving the classroom, saying how now they will be successful because they've gotten the good luck charm.

How crazy is that... From the most dangerously cursed person in school, Kyungsoo had turned into a good luck charm for his classmates' success? "Looks like you've been upgraded!" Baekhyun laughed. Kyungsoo really feels like part of the classroom for a change. And it's all thanks to Chanyeol. These feelings he's having towards Chanyeol, did they all come just because Chanyeol kept helping him all this time? Is he really 'special' to Kyungsoo at all?

The event has began. The football games in the field, the basketball games inside the gym, the booths were crowding with visitors, and the outdoors stage was growing in audience more and more.

Kyungsoo only gets to catch a glimpse of the mass only when he goes on the stage to replace all of the waterbottles. Otherwise, he's mostly at the back constantly making sure nobody is hungry or thirsty. It's the perfect job for him, he has such little presence that nobody would notice him being there at all. As he went to replace the bottles for the second time on stage, he noticed a familiar face in the crowd, but didn't have any time to stay there and examine them.

As he got off the stage from the back, he noticed someone approaching the closed area. After pulling his cap a little higher he recognized him. It was Junmyeon.

Cheerfully, he stepped out of the contained area and went towards him.   
"Hey, Kyungsoo!" Junmyeon smiled and hugged Kyungsoo gently. "I'm surprised to see you participating! Last year you didn't even come to school during the festivals." Junmyeon laughed lightly.   
"Ah, yes, I'm in charge of the water around here, mostly. Chanyeol gave me this role..." He rubbed the back of his head.   
"Chanyeol?" Junmyeon sounded surprised, but it quickly turned into a smile. "What a good kid. Of course he'd give you a role. Bet he became an organizer too." Whoa, how could Junmyeon tell? He must know Chanyeol quite well if he guessed these things correctly.

"Hey! Junmyeon!" Speaking of the devil, Chanyeol's voice came from behind Kyungsoo, reaching the two of them as he pulled Junmyeon into a cheerful hug.   
"Yo, kiddo, nice to see you again! I came by to see how the festival was going... Look at you!" Junmyeon examined Chanyeol from head to toe.   
"Going with the band this year?"   
"Yeah. Say, have you seen Yubin around? She's our main singer but I haven't seen her today at all... She doesn't answer he phone either, and we're up in an hour." Chanyeol sighed. Kyungsoo just stood there quietly and listened to the two of them talking. Slowly, Sehun also came towards them.

"Nope. Not sight of her. Which songs are you performin---..." Junmyeon's words paused as Sehun made his way and stood right beside Chanyeol, looking at him quietly.

Whoa, what a sudden shift in the atmosphere. What's with the sudden silence? It looked like Junmyeon and Sehun were unable to lay their eyes off of each other.   
"Junmyeon, this is Sehun. He's coming on stage with me." Chanyeol smiled and wrapped an arm around Sehun's shoulder.

"We're performing 'Run This', 'Uprising', and a few more... Then we finish with 'Heaven'." Sehun explained. "Sorry, I heard the conversation earlier." He smiled lightly and offered his hand to shake. Junmyeon shook Sehun's hand firmly and smiled at the introduction.   
"Ah well, these are well known songs. In case she doesn't show up I'm sure another singer will be able to take her place." He replied calmly. That's a very mature and resourceful answer.

It is just a school festival, nothing is really taken too seriously. But still, for the band who have practiced for so long together, it must be quite a big deal anyway.   
"Hey, I'm going to see what else is around. I'll definitely be coming to see your performance though!" Junmyeon then exclaimed and waved goodbye to the three of them.

"Ahhh I'm so excited! And nervous!" Chanyeol rubbed his face with a pout as he began walking back behind the stage. But sehun remained standing in the same spot, watching Junmyeon's back slowly get swallowed in the rest of the crowd.

Kyungsoo hasn't seen Sehun looking this interesting in anything, let alone anybody, ever since they met. He wondered what made usually uncaring Sehun so immersed in Junmyeon.

 

 

The time is passing, and Kyungsoo kept doing his job, giving food and drinks to everyone behind the stage and replacing the used bottles on stage with bran new ones. It seemed that the crowd in front keeps growing bigger with each performance, and soon both the basketball and football games will come to an end, so the only source of entertainment would be the stage performances.

Along with that, Kyungsoo kept hearing how the band is still missing thair lead singer. Baekhyun seemed to be taking it easy and relaxing by the operation table with his fellow technical workers, while Jongdae looked really mature and cool as he made sure the timing is going according to plan, while also trying to help the band get in contact with their singer.

It's ten minutes before the band's performance, and they're already walking around backstage to relieve a bit of their anxiety before going on stage.   
"Guys! I got a text from Yubin!" One of the bandmates calls out, rushing to show the rest the message he'd received.

"What?! She broke her arm and is stuck in the hospital?!" Chanyeol gasped and quickly took out his own phone. "I hope she gets well soon..." He began tapping his screen to write her a message with a worried expression. Whoa, he's so selfless... He didn't even think about their performance at all when he heard the news, but his friends' health really came as the priority regardless of the important situation.

"Seems like our stage might not be happening today..." Another bandmate began sadly, as the text receiver updated Jongdae about the news. No... Kyungsoo wouldn't want to see Chanyeol, Sehun and the band have to cancel their performance.

They've worked so hard and practiced so much for this to come true. He was there, he saw the amount of time, effort, sweat, and tears that they've invested into preparing for this chance. He was looking forward to seeing Chanyeol on stage. This was really heartbreaking. Quietly, Kyungsoo looked at the setlist placed on one of the tables behind the stage.

Run this... Uprising... Heaven... Wait, these songs are pretty well known. Junmyeon said earlier that if Yubin doesnt show up, there definitely has to be another student willing to perform it with them. Kyungsoo had formed a possible solution in his thoughts, his body got filled with adrenaline.

"Chanyeol!" He quickly rushed to the band, Chanyeol turned to look at him immediately, quite surprised. Kyungsoo normally doesn't call his name too often after all. Not with this much enthusiasm.   
"These songs that you are going to perform... Everybody knows them." Kyungsoo began, looking at the band and Jongdae having all their eyes on him.   
"What if somebody else will sing them for you?" He suggested, holding an empty water bottle he picked tightly in his hands.

"Really? Can anybody replace Yubin and her cool punk voice...?" One of the bandmates asked. "Do you know these songs?" The member then asked ksoo. Who quickly shook his head nervously, oh god, there's no way he's going to perform with them himself.   
"I don't know how Uprising goes..." Kyungsoo replied. The band all began thinking seriously.

"Uh... I know all of the songs." Jongdae then said, looking at them as he held the folder of sheets and a pen in his hand. The band all gathered into themselves, leaning down with arms around each other as if they're having a secret little meetup right in front of them. They've spoken for a bit, Jongdae and Kyungsoo exchanged a questioning look with each other, before the band stood back up normally and Chanyeol stepped in front of Jongdae and placed a hand on his shoulder. It almost like a knighting ceremony in a way.

"Right. Jongdae, we're in your hands, then." He said in a jokingly serious manner before smiling and heading towards the stairs that lead to the stage.   
"H-Huh? What do you mean? A-Are you saying I'm going to join you guys?! No, there's no way, I know the songs but I'm the setlist manager! I can't just---" Jongdae began whining, trying to find excuses in protest. Whoa... Kyungsoo was seriously lucky that he didn't know all of the songs. He wouldn't have been able to handle this responsibility.

"We'll adjust to your pace." Sehun patted jongdae's shoulder before following Chanyeol. "Plus, we're the last act. You won't have any list to care for after us." He added, and Jongdae couldn't deflect it anymore. He couldn't find any more excuses as to why he is unable to do it.

Kyungsoo watched him stand there and look down at the list nervously. But there was a bright shine of excitement in his eyes as he placed the folder aside and started getting mic'ed up with the help of another band member. These people... All of them are so amazingly talented and so incredibly kind. Kyungsoo felt like he had just witnessed a holy good deed being done.

The time for the band's performance has come. Right before they went on stage, Kyungsoo had to climb up the stage from the back and replace the water bottles. He finished quickly, making sure to place the bottles in the best positions he possibily could. He also managed to spot Junmyeon standing at the front of the crowd with a smile before getting back.

He passed right by Chanyeol on the stairs as they went up. It felt a little like time was going on slowmotion when Chanyeol smiled at him with so much wamrth and affection.   
"Do your best...!" Kyungsoo quickly cheered for him.

"Yes, I will." Chanyeol said in return, and ran his hand over Kyungsoo's arm gently before stepping up and disappearing onto the stage. Kyungsoo's arm felt like it had been put aflame. His heart nearly jumping out of his chest. Chanyeol really takes his breath away.

 

 

Instead of watching the performance from the front like the audience, Kyungsoo had to watch it on the screen of a tablet that's located behind the stage for the staff to see. He stood quietly with a few other students who performed before, and watched the show.

Jongdae took over the singer role exceptionally well. His voice was just as punk rock as Kyungsoo remembered Yubin's voice to be. He didn't even change the key of the songs at all. It really looked like he had been practicing with them all along. Even his half formal half simple outfit blended in perfectly with the style they've chosen.

And although Kyungsoo was more than proud of Jongdae, he couldn't remove his eyes from Chanyeol on the screen. He looked... Godly. He looked like the embodiment of happiness in human form. There was so much good radiating from him, so much fun, confidence and pride. Ah, deep down, Kyungsoo wishes he could maybe one day make Chanyeol radiate as much happiness as well. Seeing his idol like this made him feel so good and warm inside.

The band was on stage for nearly half an hour, but it felt like the performance ended really quickly. As Jongdae's soothing sweet voice stretched at the last note of 'Heaven', Kyungsoo felt incredible relief filling his heart.

It was good. The performance was spectacular thanks to Jongdae's unexpected singing debut. The crowd went wild with the cheers, and even attempted to chant 'Encore' to convince the boys to sing some more. Sadly, they haven't prepared anything else for such a success, but they were extremely flattered by the support, as seen by their wide smile of true happiness.

To finish off the performance, and the entire festive day's activities, Jongdae handed Chanyeol the microphone to give his last words. He explained the vocal replacement situation with Jongdae to the audience in an amusing, laughter inducing manner, and thanked him yet again for saving them. Then he thanked the rest of the performers, the crowd, the staff members, the technical team with Baekhyun. Kyungsoo was clapping loudly from behind the stage, praising all of the hardworking students that deserved the shoutout.

He was preparing himself to go on stage and begin cleaning the bottles again when he heard Chanyeol mention his name.   
"Kyungsoo, thank you for keeping everyone hydrated today. And also, thank you for coming up with the brilliant idea of taking Jongdae along with us to sing." Kyungsoo felt his heart blasting in his chest. He froze in his spot in shock.

Huh? What? Why? Kyungsoo hasn't done anything at all? He wasn't anything important? He only hoped to become useful in some way, but he definitely didn't deserve these praises. He felt his cheeks flush when watching the band bow to the crowd and slowly make their way back behind the stage.

As they entered the area, they looked so high on happiness and excitement. Sweating and messy and tired, but so, so happy. Even Sehun was laughing with the bandmates when they made their way to their little corner backstage to change out of their sweaty clothes. Chanyeol and another bandmate had remained on stage for a little longer.

Jongdae came off the stage in a daze, his eyes were sparkling brightly and all he could do was slip down to the first chair he found and stare in front of him. Kyungsoo couldn't help but laugh lightly before congratulating him for the debut and praising his singing skills, receiving a shy rub to the head in return.

Baekhyun then burst behind the stage in a thrill and rushed towards Jongdae, praising him constantly in excitement. He kept pointing out more and more cool moments Jongdae had on stage. Like when he decided to rasp up his voice for a strong note. Or when he rolled his pronounciation to give it an interesting twist.

"I've recorded everything on my phone!" Baekhyun grinned. "I bet there's SOMEBODY who wants to send this video to their boyfriend~ They'll have to beg for it, though!" He gave Jongdae a smile of victory, and Jongdae just pounced right on him and tried to grab the phone away from his hand, all flushed and whiny. It was so adorable and funny, Kyungsoo couldn't stop laughing at the way they began bickering.

But then, Chanyeol came off stage, he was laughing with his bandmate. Kyungsoo looked at him, immersed in the way there's a sun shining right out of his skin. When he spotted Kyungsoo looking at him in awe, he quickly rushed towards him. The other bandmate had joined the others. This is bliss. Chanyeol is everything good in this world, and Kyungsoo is really the luckiest man to be able to even stand before him when he's this ecstatic.

"Thank you, Kyungsoo. I really meant what I said." He spoke warmly.   
"T-The performance was amazing! Everyone loved it a lot!" Kyungsoo quickly muttered, his heart speeding in his chest. It'd be too much to aknowledge the praise he was given.

He felt shy from being so fascinated in the way the sweat is slowly sliding down Chanyeol's neck.   
"It's all thanks to your brilliant idea. Jongdae killed it up there. Thank you." Chanyeol raised his hand up in the air a little again, Kyungsoo followed along, and this time, instead of a fist bump, Chanyeol gave him a high five and lightly brushed Kyungsoo's hand with his longer fingers before walking towards the band's corner.   
"Indeed, a good luck charm." He said before disappearing behind the curtain.

Kyungsoo wasn't sure if Chanyeol's fingers brushed against his hand, or maybe directly against his heart. Chanyeol... Chanyeol must be somehow special to him, right? Could all of these feelings just be a part of Chanyeol's kindness towards him? Sohda's words won't leave his mind, and it made him feel extremely confused about the way his heart kept booming simply from barely touching Chanyeol's hand.

 

 

As he stepped out of the backstage for some air, he saw Sohda standing and waiting there, looking so beautiful with her casual outfit and styled hair. It looks like she's holding something in her hands, too. He approached her calmly.

"Sohda, hello!" He greeted her with a small smile. Sohda didn't seem too excited to be seeing him there. She looked at him with a neutral expression. The closer he stepped the better he was able to see her. He noticed she was holding a small box of chocolates in her hands.   
"Ahh! Are these for the team that worked on the event?" Kyungsoo asked, assuming that since she was a part of the organizers team, she handed one of these boxes to each of the four activity fields today.

Before she could answer, or say anything at all, a bunch of girls from their grade passed by.  
"Whoaa, look at that, Sohda is so nice! Handing out chocolates to the teams that helped!" One of them said.   
"Right! So sweet!" Another replied.

Sohda's expression looked troubled and angry for a moment, before shifting into a bright beautiful smile. She handed Kyungsoo the box of chocolates.   
"There you go! Share it with everyone!" Kyungsoo gladly accepted the box and bowed to her with gratitude.   
"I'll make sure everyone gets a piece." He nodded and watched how her face dropped back down to a cold expression when the group of girls left.

"Sohda, have you watched the band's performance?" Kyung then asked in a friendly manner.  
"Duh, of course I have. Chanyeol was amazing." She replied impatiently. Even though she just praised Chanyeol, it sounded like she didn't really mean it at all because of her tone.   
"Right! They've all prapared for so long. Even Jongdae did an incredible work as their unexpected singer." Kyungsoo smiled lightly.

"Anyway," Sohda barely waited for him to finish talking. "Where is Chanyeol?"   
"Ah, I think he's changing his clothes now." Kyungsoo replied and turned to look back at the little cloth walled backstage area they've built.   
"Are you waiting for him to come out?" He asked gently, and Sohda just crossed her arms and looked away with an unhappy pout. She must be.

"I can tell him that you're waiting, so please stay here." Kyungsoo offered, and turned to walk back inside, except from the corner of his eye he spotted Sehun leaving from the backstage's other exit. Standing and waiting for him at the shade of one of the trees, was Junmyeon. Sehun seemed to be as surprised as Kungsoo to find it out, but he went to him anyway, and the two of them began talking and walking towards another section of the school out of Kyungsoo's sight.

Maybe the reason Junmyeon and Sehun stared at each other for so long earlier was because Junmyeon had to tell him something important now. Maybe they even know each other from before Chanyeol had introduced them before the concert began.

Either way, from standing and staring at the two of them by the backstage's exit, he didn't realize that someone passed through and bumped into him and the chocolate box he received from Sohda.   
"Ah, Kyungsoo! What's that?" It was Chanyeol, looking refreshed after changing to simple sport clothes after the performance.

What a good timing. Chanyeol stared at the box curiously as Kyungsoo looked up at him.   
"Sohda gave us this box to share with everyone." He explained, then remembered why he wanted to speak with him now.  
"Ah, also, she's there waiting to talk with you." He said calmly and gestured towards where Sohda was standing and already smiling beautifully in Chanyeol's direction.

"Oh, thanks. Save me a piece, okay?" Chanyeol nodded with a smile and headed over to her. Kyungsoo remained standing at the makeshift cloth door and watched how Sohda laughed, how cheerfully she spoke with Chanyeol compared when she spoke with him a moment ago.

She really is putting so much effort in trying to communicate with Chanyeol easily and naturally like this... Maybe Kyungsoo really doesn't deserve to be treated so nicely and kindly by Chanyeol if he never had to try as hard as Sohda does to receive that attention from him.

His impression of Sohda changed quite a lot after the two of them have opened up to each other about how they feel. Sohda loves Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo... Kyungsoo thinks Chanyeol is special to him. Kyungsoo still found her to be an incredible and beautiful person, even if she sometimes seems to be upset at him.

Actually... After he's had the conversation with her, Kyungsoo looked up the definition of the word 'special' in the dictionary.

'Special' is something that is different from anything else of its kind, something unique, or meaningful, or outstanding. And Kyungsoo since then had tried to think whether or not Chanyeol really was someone he considers special. Maybe it was just his misuse of the word simply because he hadn't had much chance to speak to many other people about describing his feelings.

In Kyungsoo's eyes, Chanyeol currently is special because he admires him and wants to learn how to become more like him. But Sohda herself, up until that conversation, was also special in a similar manner. It wasn't quite exactly the same... But, does it mean another person could be placed up there in Chanyeol's position if they'd be similar to him and to Sohda's first impression? Or is there something else that Kyungsoo doesn't quite yet understand about the way his own heart works when Chanyeol's the subject.

The day has come to an end. Kyungsoo realized just how relieved, happy, and exhausted he is from the entire thing. The preparations that lasted weeks, the labor it took to plan, to build, to help and support, it was so, so tiring. But also totally worth it. He's had a great time.

It seems his exhaustion had taken over him earlier than expected, because when the time came to begin taking apart all of what they've built from the stage, Jongdae ordered him to head home and rest instead. Claiming he looked like he'd pass out if he had to lift even a piece of paper in his hands.

Kyungsoo was grateful for his consideration, and although he attempted to insist on staying and helping out, he was practically shooed away by both Baekhyun and Jongdae together. He's so lucky to have such kind hearted friends who would take upon themselves his responsibilites to allow him to take care of his own health. He didn't even tell them he had to stay until early in the morning to prepare all the food for today... So he felt even more touched by the fact that even without knowing that, they'd still do it for him.

As he passed the font gate and began heading home, the sun setting in the sky and shining red and orange rays everywhere, he spotted a pair of familiar people standing under one of the trees and talking.

Sehun was smiling warmly and laughing from time to time, looking at ease, having all of his attention directly solely on Junmyeon, who stood in front of him with just as bright of a smile. While Sehun's arms were crossed due to his supermodel-like posture, Junmyeon spoke with many hand gestures. All that's missing are a few shiny sparkles in the air, maybe a few bubbles, and it would look like a scene out of a romance movie.

Although he was curious, his exhaustion won, and Kyungsoo decided to leave them be and head back home without stopping. They looked so happy, so cheerful... Does he ever make Chanyeol smile like that? Has he ever made Chanyeol feel as happy as it looks like the two of them are feeling by simply talking with each other?

Has he... Really just been using Chanyeol's kindness to fulfill his own selfishly desired capacity of attention? He wished he knew what his heart really felt whenever it sped up because of Chanyeol's presence.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

 

The days keep passing, but two things remained fresh and strong in Kyungsoo's mind. One, Chanyeol's unbelievably gorgeous appearance at the school's festival, and two, Sohda's confession about having feelings for Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo walked through the halls, delivering papers for one of the teachers during the break. As per usual for the fact that he took this task upon himself for the sake of freeing his classmates from the burden. He was clearly ditracted by the contradicting feelings that spark up in his heart when both Chanyeol and Sohda are in his mind.

At one point, Kyungsoo felt his foot nudge against something he didn't expect would be in the hallway. Oh no, this can end bad. His mind reconnected with reality as he realized he is located right above a long case of stairs leading down. He nearly lost his balance at the very edge of the stairs. He could almost see his life flashing before his eyes as his body's weight started leaning down to fall.

Images of Baekhyun, Jongdae and Sehun appeared in his mind. And then, Chanyeol. Right, it wouldn't be so bad to end with the image of Chanyeol's beauty in his mind. But then suddenly Sohda's face popped up, and Kyungsoo felt the way his body's trying reject these thoughts outside of himself.

But at the very last moment before falling forward, someone stepped in front of him and held him back up straight by the shoulders gently. Big hands kept him secure on the floor, he's saved from the fall of doom. Huh? Kyungsoo looked up at the face of the person, something in him hoped it was Chanyeol, but he found out it was Sehun. Actually, this is just as good. Sehun was smiling lightly and nodded his head.

"Sehun! Thank you very much, I didn't know this chair will be placed in the hall like that..." Kyungsoo explained the reasoning behind nearly falling, and Sehun hummed in return. Petting Kyungsoo's head for a moment.   
"Be careful next time."   
"Ah, yes." Sehun waved at him before turning and walking away. Sehun is so kind. Kyungsoo was saved from death by him. Well, he is exaggerating, but Sehun did manage to catch him right before something really bad could have happened to him. And Kyungsoo was more than grateful.

There were a few students around who must have seen it happen, but none of them really paid this much attention to it. Not more than a surprised glance in their direction at most, probably. If it wasn't for Sehun, Kyungsoo would be lying at the bottom of the stairs for a while until anybody would have noticed that he's been injured. This is one of the reasons Kyungsoo learned how to be extremely careful. Because he knew that in case anything will happen to him, there might not be anybody to help him when the time comes.

He continued in his way, now with a mind filled with Sehun and his greatness. Kyungsoo's still very curious to know what the connection between him and Junmyeon really is. The way they were talking with each other after the festival looked so friendly and pleasant.

He was already right by the teachers' office when he saw Sohda come to him. She was not pretending to be cheerful anymore. There was no sweet smile across her lips, no sparkles in her eyes, even her body language looked a lot less lively than normal. Honestly, Kyungsoo really appreciates that she is being her true self around him after they've spoken. It makes him feel a lot better about himself, and about the fact that there are no barriers between them anymore. It allows him to be even more honest with himself as well, so he's very glad that they were able to open up like that.

"Hey, Kyungsoo, I've been thinking." She began talking, hands behind her back as she stared at the door of the teacher's room.   
"Hello Sohda, what is it?" Kyungsoo hummed curiously in reply, then entered the room, placed the papers down, and came out back to her right away.   
"Whenever I come to speak with Chanyeol in your classroom, I see that there is an empty seat behind yours." She said, and Kyungsoo had the image of Sehun sitting behind him looking bored with class pop in his head.   
"Who sits there?"   
"Sehun does." Kyungsoo nodded at her question.

"Ah, is that so? Sehun that just saved you from falling down and making a mess?" She asked surprised.  
"Whoa, how did you know? I just happened a few minutes ag---"  
"Doesn't that put him in the same position as Chanyeol? If he treats you this kindly." A small smile finallyspreaded on her face.   
"Say... What if you try to talk with Sehun some more? The same way you talk with Chanyeol. Maybe then you will be able to understand that Chanyeol isn't anything special to you." She suggested, a new spark of hope in her eyes. "Sehun never thought something bad of you or anything, right?" Sohda continues talking.

Kyungsoo listened and starts thinking about her words. Actually, now that she mentioned it like this, maybe he will be able to understand his own feelings better that way. And besides, he wanted to talk with Sehun about his connection with Junmyeon. Well, maybe it's a bit too nosy of him to ask. But generally talking with Sehun some more sounds like a fun thing to do.   
"No, Sehun's always been nice to me." Kyungsoo responded, remembering the time he visited his room, when Sehun said that he likes Kyungsoo. They have this sort of mutual liking already, so talking with him some more would make their connection better.

"Exactly! See, he's already on the same level as Chanyeol. the both of them were even in the band together!" Sohda continued. That is... Pretty much true. They both treat Kyungsoo kindly, but the mention of the band's performance took more of Kyungsoo's attention than the previous topic. Remembering Chanyeol's smiles and joy.

He smiled lightly. "Ah, the band was so great. Ever since I heard that Chanyeol used to play in your middle school's band, I really wanted to watch him play. I wanted to see another side of him that I had missed." Kyungsoo said calmly, Sohda's turned to look ahead in the hallway.

"I'm so happy I got the opportunity to help---"   
"See? You don't know anything about Chanyeol. Not as much as I do. I already knew all of this about him." Her voice sounded a little upset. "So don't you compare the way we're feeling towards him again. I've been watching him ever since middle school." She began.   
"I've passed many seasons with him, and whenever there was a chance, I'd go and talk to him. I worked so hard to make sure he wouldn't get a girlfriend." Sohda said, filled with determination, but Kyungsoo looked at her very surprised.

Admitting such a thing...? That made Kyungsoo feel a little weird inside his stomach. He always thought Sohda was a gentle person that happens to have a lot of emotions she shares with him. But learning that she had been making sure Chanyeol remains single just for herself makes her seem unreasonable and slightly creepy. What kind of methods did she even use?  
"Y-You've been through a lot..." Kyungsoo said instead, trying to change the way he's thinking so that he could keep the image of her good intentions in his mind. Maybe he just misunderstood what she was saying.   
"Yes, I have!" She replied dramatically, but then looked away again.

"Anyway, that's how much I know Chanyeol. It's not like I met him at the end of last year or anything." She said in a serious, boasting voice. Whoa, how did she know exactly when Chanyeol and him actually met each other? Maybe it was just a coincidence that she mentioned that timing.   
"I've always... I've always had my eyes on him." She hummed, a finger running through her own hair.

"I get what you mean... I can't remove my eyes from him either." Kyungsoo admitted. Images of Chanyeol's beautiful smile from various times he had seen him smile pop in his head. Especially after the performance.   
"S-Stop pretending that you understand how I feel." She pouted. But Kyungsoo was already lost in thought. He really does... Always look at him. He simply can't look away. Chanyeol is so dazzling no matter when or what he does. Kyungsoo often catches himself staring at him whenever he's around.  
Kyungsoo also catches himself thinking about him all the time. Chanyeol's face always appears in his mind whenever he has a hard time, or when he's going to sleep, or even when he just delivers papers for teachers at school. He never thought this much and felt this much towards anybody else before. That's why he thought that Chanyeol was so special to him.

"I really don't know anything at all about Chanyeol. Maybe these feelings will come even if I will start thinking about someone else. Maybe there is another feeling even greater than this that I've never felt before." Kyungsoo really wants to know more about him. That way he will be able to understand himself better, too.   
"I want to know more about Chanyeol, and about the way I'm feeling, I will try to talk with Sehun some more." Kyungsoo came to the conclusion that indeed, talking with Sehun would be a safe chance to learn more about both Sehun and Chanyeol, and of course himself.

"Thank you, Sohda. Your advices are always so wise... I'm really grateful." He turned to look at her with new found hope. But she just looked back at him in upset confusion. The two of them parted ways as Kyungsoo bowed to her and headed back to his classroom.

Sohda must really find Chanyeol special, if she's been watching him closely like this ever since middle school. She wants to go out with him... So that means she must be having romantic feelings towards Chanyeol.

Romantic... Feelings? Kyungsoo felt an unfamiliar sort of warmth wash over his heart at that thought. When he opened the classroom's door, he saw Chanyeol sitting at his table with a bunch of friends and talking. But when he stepped inside, Chanyeol immediately turned to look at him. And almost as if time had been frozen, he smiled at Kyungsoo.   
Romantic... Feelings...? Kyungsoo's heart sped up in his chest. Why does he feel like he understands this term really well? As if he knows what it's like from the bottom of his heart.

He landed back in reality by being greeted cheerfully by Seungwan and Seulgi, his adorable fellow classmates, yet again. The two of them began asking him about homework, then started talking about the different things they've experienced in the festival.   
"I still can't believe I could participate in the soccer game!" Seulgi smiled with satisfaction. "You've done really well." Seungwan encouraged her.

"Our school's team won, right? Well done!" Kyungsoo attempted to participate in the conversation. He was still slightly nervous, but Seulgi seemed to have been touched by his words, and held his palm with both her hands in excitement.   
"Thank you, Kyungsoo! It's all thanks to the good luck charm of a fist bump we've given you before leaving class that morning." Both her and Seungwan laughed at the statement.

Ah, everyone are seriously so kind. He's still trying hard to get used to not being all alone anymore. Now there are several people all around the school he could consider his aqcuitances. And it's all thanks to Chanyeol. If he hadn't gotten to meet Chanyeol the way they have before, Kyungsoo would have never known how nice everyone actually were.

Admiration, respect, appreciation, gratitude... Romantic feelings... Kyungsoo doesn't really understand his own feelings. He wants to understand them quickly. He wants to learn whether or not Chanyeol really is someone special to him, or if he's mixing everything up in his heart. He already decided he will try his best to speak with Sehun more. Maybe he will find his answer that way.

Kyungsoo made his way to his seat, and this time, instead of focusing on Chanyeol, he sat sideways and looked at Sehun, who was resting his head on his arms on top of his table. Eyes shut... Sehun is really amazing as well, and handsome. Kyungsoo needed to find a way to properly thank him for earlier with the stairs incident.

 

 

During the break, Kyungsoo had bought a drink from the vending machine, and began looking for Sehun through the school, since he got caught up in talking with Baekhyun and Jongdae earlier, telling them about how there is something important he has to confirm, he missed the chance to ask Sehun to talk before he left the classroom. The juice would just be a small offering of gratitude for saving him from something that could have ended pretty badly.

Thankfully, it seems that Yerim's friend he was introduced to before, Sooyeong, saw that he was searching for something, and approached him curiously. She came from a group of girls who stood and talked nearby. Kyungsoo could see that one of them was Sohda. She was looking at him from afar.   
"Kyungsoo... was it? Is everything alright? you look pretty lost." Sooyeong asked, looking at the juice he's holding in his hands.

"Yes, hello, Sooyeong. Have you maybe seen Sehun anywhere?" Kyungsoo asked, she seemed to be confused by the mention of his name.   
"Tall, broad, cold looking." Kyungsoo tried his best to describe Sehun's general appearance, even gestured with his own hands to show his dimentions, and flattening his own expression in an attempt to imitate Sehun's piercing face. Sooyeong's eyes widened as if she remembered something.   
"Aahh! Yes! I think I saw him going towards the sports equipment shed near the flower garden." She smiled.

Kyungsoo was happy about the answer and smiled as well, bowing to her thankfully.   
"Thank you! I've been searching for a while." He then set off to his new destination, waving her a calm goodbye as she returned to her group.

Passing by the little flower garden that Kyungsoo is very familiar with from being given the task to water them often, he spotted someone lying on the grass in the shade of the equipment shed. He easily recognized it's Sehun as he stepped a little closer. His face was covered by a hat. It seemed that he was napping. Kyungsoo felt a little bad for having to wake him up, but he kneeled down anyway. The grass was actually pretty soft.   
"Sehun?" He tried to sound as gentle as possible.

The other hummed almost immediately in return and removed the hat from his face before sitting up.   
"Oh... Kyungsoo?" He looked a little dazed for a short moment. Kyungsoo smiled lightly and sat down beside him on the grass before handing him the bottle of juice.

"Thanks." He grabbed it and began gulping. Sehun is so cool... He's very handsome as well. Although his face might look intimidating, he's actually very caring and kind. He wouldn't expect less of someone who's a good friend of Chanyeol. Kyungsoo watched the way his adam's apple bobbed when he drank.   
"Thank you again for saving me from falling down the stairs earlier. I thought that'd be my end." Kyungsoo said, and Sehun raised an eyebrow at him.   
"I didn't think it was a life or death situation." Kyungsoo chuckled lightly at the response.

They both sat there on the grass for a while. It was quiet, peaceful, and beautiful, with all the blooming flowers surrounding them in the garden.   
"So why'd you come find me here?" Sehun then asked calmly, and ran a hand to push his hair back to wear his hat again.

"Oh--- Right. Sehun... I wanted to ask you, do you know what it feels like to have 'romantic feelings' towards someone?" Kyungsoo asked. It must be confusing for Sehun to have this question dropped on him like that. Sehun stared at him for a while, a little puzzled.   
"Romantic feelings?" He repeated.   
"Yes, when you like a person, but as more than just friends. They're more specia---"   
"You don't need to explain it to me." Sehun stopped him gently, and stared at him in silence for a little while. Kyungsoo was kind of anticipating to hear his answer. It could help him understand his own feelings better.

"Yes, I do know what romantic feelings are like." He finally replied, looking pretty neutral. "There is someone I recently started liking romantically," He added "Keep it between us, okay?" Sehun finished with a small calm smile. And ksoo felt his heart fill with joy and excitement. Whoa. This is actually incredible.   
"I hope--- I hope everything will go smoothly with them!" Kyungsoo replied with enthusiasm.  
"Thanks for the support." Sehun chuckled lightly.

"Say, what made you like them? How did you know you like them? What made you realize that they were special?" Excited by the fact that the answer was positive, Kyungsoo bombared him with a few questions at once, leaving Sehun looking deeply at the flower garden in front of them and shifting his position to stand up comfortably beside Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo followed along and stood back to his feet as well.

"...Do these questions really need a logical answer?" Sehun asked. And Kyungsoo was taken aback by the unexpected answer. He thought he'd hear things like appearance, humor, personality... But it seems that Sehun, who has these feelings, cannot really find an answer that could properly explain it all.

"By the time I realized it, they were already special. I can't compare them to anyone else." Sehun explained his answer a little more since he probably saw the shock on Kyungsoo's face.  
"S-So... If you can't compare someone with others... Does that make them special?" Kyungsoo attempted to confirm.   
"I don't know. But isn't that a nice thought?" Sehun sent him another gentle smile, and reached out to pet his head lightly.

Since it was his first time experiecing these sorts of feelings he's having towards Chanyeol, he wasn't sure whether Chanyeol really was special to him or not. But hearing the answer, he started thinking that he already knows.

Kyungsoo felt like his eyes have been re-opened. According to what Kyungsoo learned from the dictionary, and Sehun's own experiene, it seems that romantic feelings are something special, that can occur only towards someone that one finds special. Ah... So that's how it is. As he smiled back at Sehun, calmly accepting the gentle stroke of his head, he felt that he might have reached another step closer to the answer he was seeking.

But he felt that Sehun is special, too. He's very grateful that he could have such an enlightning honest conversation with him like this.

 

 

All of a sudden a noise of a heavy thud against the grass was heard, and as Kyungsoo turned his head to look at the source of the noise, a large hand gently wrapped around his wrist. It was Chanyeol, appearing right next to him. He couldn't read his facial expression at all in such a quick moment, but was nonetheless surprised.

Chanyeol then began walking again, pulling confused Kyungsoo by his wrist gently. He couldn't make a sound or utter a word, Chanyeol looked so... Serious. What he did do, however was look back at Sehun, who looked at the two of them leaving with a neutral expression. Kyungsoo was surprised to see that Sohda was also there at the edge of the path, standing next to what looks like stage equipment on the grass and looking aggrevated towards Chanyeol and him.   
"Hey! Chanyeol?! Come back here!" He could hear her call behind them.

If Kyungsoo stayed true to his heart, he hoped... Truly hoped, that these overhwelming feelings were romantic. He knew they were. They were so, so strong and bold, piercing him whenever just a glimpse of a thought about Chanyeol popped in his head.

Chanyeol pulled him on and on, for a long time, while walking in a high pace, enough to run the both of them down and out of breath, until they reached the whole other side of the main school building. Chanyeol finally stopped when the two of them were standing in the shady path under the building, and gently let go of Kyungsoo's wrist. He turned back to face him, his expression as serious as it was before.   
"I'm sorry. I couldn't hold myself back." He said in an airy yet sincere way.

"It's been bothering me for a while now." Chanyeol continued quietly, Kyungsoo's heart was beating quickly in his chest, and although they just ran, he knew it was because of Chanyeol. What's with this stressful atmosphere? He felt like he's about to get scolded, like he's being put in a tight spot. His body was even shaking a little from the intesity of Chanyeol's energy.

"Kyungsoo," A cold breeze blew in the air, and although it ruffled quite some leaves and branches around them, Kyungsoo couldn't hear any of it. Only Chanyeol's voice.   
"Do you... Like Sehun?"

Like? Like...? Does he like...? Kyungsoo stared up at him in silence, trying to wrap his mind around what is happening. He likes... He likes Chanyeol so much... So unbearably much, that he doesn't know what to do with all these feelings.

It's not Sehun that makes his heart race in his chest. It's Chanyeol... He is... Deeply in love with Chanyeol.

Chanyeol when he smiles and laughs, Chanyeol when he studies, when he plays music, when he drinks and eats, when he's tired, when he's late to class, when he greets him in the morning. He loves Chanyeol when he stands in front of him right now looking so serious and troubled.

Everything is pounding. He's got it. He found the answer he was looking for. It resided inside him this whole time, and now he finally dug deep enough to uncover it and allow the realization to occupy his mind.

"I like... Sehun. But not in a romantic way." Kyungsoo began. Somehow, for a change, his mind and heart were working in the same track. He noticed the way Chanyeol's expression had a hint of surprise in it. Sehun was always kind to him, he even saved him, but.. But...   
"I don't like him that way." The way he feels about him is different. Completely different.

"Really?" Chanyeol asked and Kyungsoo quickly nodded.   
"Then... That's what I'll believe." Chanyeol answered. But it only raised more questions for Kyungsoo. Huh? That's what he'll believe? Does that mean there was another source that could have possibly convinced him that somehow that wasn't the case to begin with? Nevertheless, Kyungsoo was very relieved.

It lasted barely a second however, because a moment later Chanyeol suddenly dropped down into a crouching position and burried his head between his legs.   
"So that's how it was..." He whined in relief and let out a long heavy sigh. Kyungsoo was caught off guard, and began worrying he might be feeling ill, but before he could ask anything, Chanyeol huffed out with frustration. Is it possible that the tips of his ears are actually becoming red?   
"Please don't look at me right now... I'm really embarrassed." Chanyeol whined quietly.

What? What's happening? Kyungsoo was seriously confused.   
"U-Uh--- Did I just say something rude about Sehun?" He began panicking, unsure if he should reach down to Chanyeol and attempt to assist him or not. "B-But, I really respect him a lot--- Sehun is seriously great--- He's so kind and reliable as well, and---" He tried his best to explain, but was stopped when he heard a chuckle.

Chanyeol raised his head and began laughing, rubbing his head and messing up his hair. It took a few moments of confusion from Kyungsoo, for Chanyeol to finally make eye contact with him and smile warmly.   
"It's alright. I'm sorry about that... It's all good now." He said calmly.  
Like... Love... That feeling is something only Kyungsoo can truly know for himself, since it's something that comes from deep within his heart, right?

Kyungsoo crouched down and sat against his own weight, the same way as Chanyeol, to be in the same eye leve as him. The feeling that bubbled up inside him as he looked at Chanyeol sitting in front of him like that... He smiled at Chanyeol warmly.   
That's what love is, right?

"Ah, geez..." Chanyeol's face turned slightly sideways as he began playing with his own bangs. "I keep contradicting myself... Even though I'm the one who brought you here." He sighed lightly.  
"I heard the students talk about how Sehun saved you from falling before... And I starting worrying." Chanyeol began.   
"Listen... Kyungsoo... There will be times in the future where I won't be able to support you. I'm going to apologize for those right now..." His expression returned to the seriousness it had before.

"I'm not like the person you think I am at all, Kyungsoo. I'm actually... Really selfish, and arrogant. There are things that burden my heart, I want things to go my way---"   
"It's alright." Kyungsoo smiled at him, still with the same amount of warmth and affection.   
"I don't mind at all if you want things to happen your way. You don't have to support me, or do anything for me at all." Kyungsoo's smile grew.

It's true, he really doesn't need Chanyeol to do anything at all. Just his very existence is already something that gives him so much strength and happiness to continue pushing on forward. It'd be terrible of him to seek anything more from Chanyeol.   
"It's alright." He grinned, his smile reaching its full potential right there, crouching in front of Chanyeol in the shade behind the school building.

He saw how Chanyeol's eyes started to bounce in their sockets nervously, and how his body stiffened lightly when he placed the back of his palm in front of his own face while averting to look away.   
"So... Since we're on the topic, what do you think about two people going out?" Chanyeol then asked, sounding softer and not as serious anymore.   
"Hm? Going where?" Kyungsoo asked curiously.   
"No--- I mean, as lovers."

Kyungsoo was taken by surprise at the full meaning of the question, and stiffened in his own spot nervously.   
"T-That's a very mature decision---...!" He muttered, almost like an automated message. "I've never thought there was a chance anybody would ever ask me a question about these things--- Maybe I didn't study enough, I don't know how to answer... I wonder what Jongdae would answer... Since he is dating already and all." Kyungsoo began half panicking while answering, he held tight onto his own knees to not lose his balance, too.

Chanyeol just stared at him quietly the entire time he blabbered the answer, and when he was finally done, a calm smile spread across his face.   
"Well," He hummed while stretching to stand back on his feet again, Kyungsoo followed suit and stood up as well.   
"Thank you for answering." Chanyeol smiled calmly yet again, then waved his hand and left, disappearing as the path curved out of sight around the building. Kyungsoo was left there, standing in the shade, and slowly cooling down with the gentle breeze brushing through his hair.

 

 

So... There is someone that Kyungsoo likes. Likes very, very much. He looked up at the passing clouds in the sky and wondered how Baekhyun and Jongdae would react when he tells them the truth. Finally finding the answer he told them he's trying to understand. They would probably tease him a lot... But he knows they'd be happy for him.   
There are still many things he is unable to answer, questions that only Jongdae would have enough experience to solve. But he's still glad. His heart is content. He was able to come to this final conclusion of a solution with the help of his friends. Especially Sehun. It feels a lot better than he expected. He's very thankful. Learning that he actually likes Chanyeol, and having someone to tell it to, really helps his heart remain free and without a burden.

He likes Chanyeol... Just like Sohda had told him before. Kyungsoo's eyes widened a little. Ah, right. Sohda. He wants to tell her as well. After she was able to gather enough courage and tell him her true feelings, Kyungsoo should tell her that he found out how he's feeling as well. So then the two of them will be able to talk about more things they have in common.

With this in mind, as school hours came to an end for his classroom, Kyungsoo began looking for Sohda around the school so that they could talk. Luckily, it didn't take too long to find her. She was standing beneath a tree near the gym, and surprisingly, both Baekhyun and Jongdae were standing there as well. Talking with her, it seems.

Kyungsoo's heart warmed up at the thought of both of them being able to befriend Sohda as well, so he happily approached them. "Hello. Whoa, it's rare to see the three of you together." He said with a small smile.

Sohda stood quietly and looked at the ground as both Baekhyun and Jongdae turned to him.  
"Mmh, not really. We're finally cracking down her deal." Baekhyun said, and Jongdae crossed his arms together while glancing over at her.   
"Cracking... Her deal...?" Kyungsoo asked, completely puzzled.

"She's the one who started the rumours about us. The rumours that resulted in the assault you had to experience in the toilet." Jongdae explained, and Kyungsoo could only stand there and stare at Sohda in disbelief. Only the light wind breaking the silence while his mind couldn't comprehand that situation.   
"Kyungsoo, she's the reason you ended up suffering so much."

This is too much, too fast, too soon. The last thing he'd expect is to be told any of the people who treated him this kindly would do anything even remotely as spreading the rumours. He toally didn't expect it. At all.

"Rumours... You mean the ones about you two? When people were saying I was the one who spread them?" Kyungsoo asked quietly. Both Baekhyun and Jongdae nodded.   
"They all thought that I was some sort of evil gang leader... With the two of you as my helpers, and Chanyeol was my slave." Kyungsoo said. Surprising both of them a little with that statement, but they both began laughing almost hysterically.   
"That's too crazy! I can't believe people spread that."   
"Is this some sort of cult?" They laughed for a while. But Kyungsoo still had a hard time believing Sohda had anything to do with it. She was being so kind to him all the time.

"There has to be a mistake here... Why would Sohda spread such terrible things about you? What would she gain out of it?" He asked quietly, mainly himself.   
"And anyway, if I was your secret evil leader, but I was also spreading bad rumours about you two... What was I trying to do?" Kyungsoo placed a hand on his chin as he began thinking about the logic behind the rumours.

"Ah~ It doesn't even matter. She probably made those up on the spot. No thought behind them. That's why the rumour she spread about me had a bit of reality in them, while Jongdae's were completely false. We went to middle school together after all." Baekhyun replied, shrugging his shoulders and turning to look at Sohda again.

"Besides, the fact that none of these make any sense just mean that she's an idiot." Jongdae said as a matter of factly, but Kyungsoo quickly shook his head.   
"Wha--- That's not true, Sohda is really smart, she gets such good grades too!" But Baekhyun laughed.   
"There's a difference between getting good grades at school and being smart. Guess she can only do one at a time."   
"Pfft, really, that was a very sad excuse to hide how stupid that was."   
"Are you sure?" The three of them began blabbering to each other, almost forgetting that she was there at all.

"Will you stop calling me an idiot?! It's not my fault! I wasn't the only one spreading those rumours!" She shouted at the three of them with her hands clutched in fists. "Other people who like Chanyeol started the rumour about Kyungsoo being some ring leader themselves!" She continued angrily.   
"If everything went according to plan, we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now!" Huh...? According to plan...? Then, Sohda admits that she was involved?

"S-Sohda... You're joking, right? What you said now... I-It might sound like you were a part of it... So, if you just explain yourself clearly, we could solve this misunderstanding. There's no way you'd do something like thi---"   
"Misunderstanding?" Sohda cut sharp through Kyungsoo's hopeful words, her voice cold and her expression even colder.   
"None of this was a mistake. I didn't care whether or not any of them were lies. Both the rumours themselves, and the statement that you spread them. I'm the one who started it." She said, her face stern like stone.

So... It's not a misunderstanding?   
"Ah~ Finally she admits it." Jongdae hummed.   
"Guess it's hard to fight against physical evidence!" Baekhyun smiled and held up two pieces of paper. Kyungsoo turned to look at them. One of them was a sheet of a to-do list back from the festival preparation period, and another was a small note reading,

[ Sehun, meet me near the equipment shed today during the break.   
\- Do Kyungsoo ]

Both of them written in the same handwriting.

"Wha...? I never wrote this note...?" Kyungsoo stared at it surprised.   
"Right. It was Sohda who left this note for him. He showed it to me after Chanyeol ran off with you, or so he said." Baekhyun explained with a nod. Oh... Oh wow, so that means the reason Chanyeol and Sohda were even there near the equipment shed to begin with, was all according to Sohda's plan...? Is that why Chanyeol asked him if he likes Sehun...? Is that what she tried to prove by coming there with Chanyeol to see Sehun and him talk and be all friendly?

There is nothing else he can do. No other excuses he can find for Sohda possibly not being the one behind all of these actions. She even admitted it... What is he supposed to think?  
"W-...Why?" Is all he could ask her in a shaking voice.

"You were in the way." She replied, looking down at the ground quietly. "You were just a bother, Kyungsoo." Deep down Kyungsoo knows that she really means it, but he still can't believe how bluntly she said it.   
"I thought it'd make things a lot easier if you'd stay away from Baekhyun, Jongdae... And everyone else, really. Like it used to be in junior year." She explained further.

It hurt. It hurt to hear these harsh things being told to him in general, but it hurt even more knowing that they came from Sohda. A person he had admired and thought of as a role model.

"Sohda... Do you hate me?" His voice barely came out, sounding small, and sad. Sohda didn't even look at him.   
"Yes. It took you this long to notice?" She said with no emotion at all. So... All this time, all of the happy memories he had shared with Sohda in the past, they were all just a lie? They meant nothing to her?   
"I thought... We were friends." Kyungsoo admitted with the same sad tone.   
"I haven't thought you of as a friend even once." Sohda deflected coldly.

"That's so mean!" Baekhyun called out, looking at Sohda displeased.   
"So these are your true colors, huh? So bad." Jongdae's voice went deep. "Go on, Kyungsoo, tell her off." He then added, trying to encourage Kyungsoo to tell Sohda a piece of his mind about it all. But Kyungsoo just... Couldn't. He stood there silently and stared at Sohda. He's so confused, and hurt, and sad.

 

 

"Ahhh come on! This is getting annoying. If Kyungsoo isn't going to say anything, then I will! Is that fine with you, JD?" Baekhyun groaned angrily, and after receiving a nod in return from Jongdae who was gently petting ksoo's back, he turned to Sohda.

"Sohda!!" She finally turned and looked at Baekhyun. "What's done is done, and I'm still pissed about it, but let's forget it for now. I don't care if you apologize or not." He began stepping closer and closer to Sohda, until her back was stuck against the tree behind her.   
"I don't even care what you say about me anymore, I know you well enough to not pay attention to it. But don't you say anything more about Jongdae and Kyungsoo!!" He shouted, sounding pretty intimidating.

"And don't you dare make Kyungsoo cry again!!" His fists were held tightly beside his body. Kyungsoo was quite surprised to hear Baekhyun saying these things, being this angry for the sake of both Jongdae and him.

Baekhyun then turned back around towards them, hands on his hips as he huffs out poutily.  
"And that's the end of the rumours discussion! I feel a lot better now." He nodded.   
"W-What is this... I'm so touched..." Jongdae mumbled, looking away from Baekhyun with a hand on his mouth.

Only moments ago, Kyungsoo felt like his heart was about to shatter and break, but now he can only feel the warmth of Baekhyun and Jongdae's protective kindness wrapping around him.

"Oh!" Baekhyun turned back to Sohda again. "And stop using other people! It's so selfish and unfair!" He added, sounding pouty and childish rather than mature and angry like before, so Jongdae placed a hand on his shoulder.   
"You've exceeded your limit for today, pull back now." He stopped him with a pout of his own.

"I knew it." Sohda spoke after a while of silence.   
"You play dirty, Kyungsoo. What's so bad about using others? People use me all the time and then drop me as soon as they don't need anything from me anymore! You guys are hypocrites. Everyone else does it, so why do I have to take the blame for it?!" Sohda called out at them, her face still filled with a spirit of battle.

"So in other words, you don't plan on changing your ways?" Jongdae asked, sounding bothered.  
"Why should I?" Sohda huffed, averting her eyes again.   
"Oh, I see..." Jongdae hummed, and took a step closer to her. "Just so you know, I'm not as soft as Baekhyun is. If you're not planning to change, it means you wouldn't mind Chanyeol finding out about who you truly are, right?"

Kyungsoo could only see the side of Jongdae's expression, but it made him tingle with a sense of fear. Jongdae can be dangerous when he's truly upset, it seems.   
"Then I'll just go and tell him right now~" He hummed, a cold smile across his lips as he turned to leave and probably look for Chanyeol.

Sohda clenched her fists and teeth together, her shoulders raised with stress.   
"Just go ahead and do it then. See if I care, tell him!" She shouted. Although she said those words, Kyungsoo could sense she was scared. But Jongdae just hummed.   
"Right, I really will, then." Before getting to the turn back to the path. "Baekhyun, let's go, you wanted to see the choir's practice." He spoke as if nothing had happened, and Baekhyun quickly followed behind.

The air was then filled with silence.   
"What do you want? Go ahead and leave with them. Don't you have to tell Chanyeol about what I did?" Sohda then asked Kyungsoo, who remained standing in his spot with uncertaincy. The smile on her face and the tone of her voice were defeated.   
"You could earn some more sympathy from him that way." She added. And... That was it. Kyungsoo had now learned the whole story.

Silently, he wiped away a single tear that managed to gather in his eye from the hurt he had felt before, and then without saying a word, he turned around and followed his friends. Leaving Sohda standing under the tree alone.

"Jongdae, Baekhyun..." He finally spoke only after a while of walking behind them as they talked about the choir.   
"Please don't tell him." He lowered his head lightly, as if requesting something extremely dire. The two of them stared at him surprised. He knows that even though Sohda said that they should tell him... She really doesn't want that. She is scared.   
"If you ask that with such sincerity then I guess it's fine... But, are you sure?" Jongdae asked him. Kyungsoo nodded with confidence.

He knows that for sure, because there's no way Sohda would want to have Chanyeol, the person she likes, think bad things about her.

"Oh... Kyungsoo. About that... I'm sorry. I didn't think that you'd get into such a shock from learning the truth that way... I kind of knew it would happen if you found out--- But... I probably pushed it a bit too far." Jongdae sighed lightly, rubbing the side of his head as his eyes look at the ground.

Kyungsoo hasn't even realized that his state of shock had made Jongdae feel bad about it. Jongdae must have had worked so hard with Baekhyun to find all the evidence and expose the truth.   
"I--- I should be the one apologizing---! I'm sorry you two got dragged into this because of me...!" He quickly answered, making both Jongdae and Baekhyun laugh lightly.

"We don't care about these silly rumours." Baekhyun smiled.   
"I knew you'd say that, but really, we were more worried about how you'd feel regarding the rumours about you." Jongdae nodded calmly. Ah... Well...   
"I'm... really used to that already. I'm 'Doshio', remember?" Kyungsoo calmed down from his little panic, and pointed at himself with a small smile. After laughing again once more, the three of them headed back inside together. Kyungsoo loves his friends. They really are the best.

He joined them for the choir lesson, just to see how they do and keep them company. Kyungsoo has Baekhyun and Jongdae, two amazing, smart and kind people. He has them both, people he could tell his feelings to. He can trust them with his whole heart, and it brings him joy and security. But he can't help but wonder how things were between Sohda and him.

Watching Baekhyun and Jongdae excel at what they do, seeing the way they both enjoy singing and laughing with the choir, that's what true friends do. As it was over and the three of them exit, there were still a surprising amount of students at the school, they probably stayed for their club activities, or extra lessons.

"Have any of you seen Sohda?" Kyungsoo heard one of the girls of the theatre club say.   
"Nope, she didn't come to the club activity today..." One answered.   
"Maybe that's why everything went so smoothly. I was finally able to act in a bigger role! Sohda always gets the best roles..." Another one responded, and the rest began cheerfully talking about the fun they had.

Sohda had always called Kyungsoo by his name. Never once has she said 'Doshio'. She hasn't even refered to him that way when talking to others if he was nearby. They were friends, even if for a little while. Even if Sohda denied it all entirely. She still spoke with Kyungsoo back then. He knows it was all lies, but it still brought Kyungsoo a lot of happiness. Was Sohda's confession about Chanyeol, saying she had only ever told Kyungsoo about it, also a lie?

"There is... Something I still have to tell Sohda." Kyungsoo suddenly spoke, and before Baekhyun and Jongdae could respond, he set off in a search for her. Kyungsoo never got close to Sohda at all, there are so many things he still doesn't know about her. But... When she confessed her feelings about Chanyeol, ksoo knew it was true.

She was willing to share her deeply hidden feelings with Kyungsoo, and now Kyungsoo wanted to tell her his own feelings as well. That's why he wanted to talk with her before, how he found out the truth... He wanted to share how he feels, too.

 

 

After a quick search in the more visible areas of the school, Kyungsoo took a turn to head back to the spot under the three in which they have spoken to Sohda before. As he rushed there, the figure under the three was now sitting down on the grass. Ah, Sohda is still there. Has she been sitting like this for a whole hour?

Kyungsoo noticed her head raising up when she heard him approaching.   
"What...? Did you come here to laugh at me? Did you forget a complaint you wanted to say before? Hurry up and say it." Sohda muttered quietly. "Or, don't tell me you're feeling pity for me?" She sneered coldly. But Kyungsoo just kneeled down calmly in front of her, similar to what he had done with Chanyeol before, so they will be eye to eye.

"I... I love Chanyeol. I finally realized that I have feelings for him. Romantic feelings..." Kyungsoo began, feeling slightly nervous and shy, but still confident.   
"The reason I came to find you before was to tell you this... I wanted to tell you how I feel, too." He lowered his eyes and rubbed the back of his head.   
"This is the first time I'm putting it into words... I didn't realize it's so hard to confess such a thing..." His heart is beating so fast. It must have been difficult for Sohda to be honest with him that day, too.

"You felt this much anxiety when you told me the same thing back then?" Kyungsoo asked gently. Noticing the shine in Sohda's eyes growing, and her body slightly siffening.   
"I--- I told you I'm not your friend. Stop comparing yourself to me!---"   
"Were you nervous...? A little embarrassed?" Kyungsoo asked with the same gentle voice.   
"Did it make you happy? When you found out that you like him...? When you told me...?"   
"Happy? Why would telling it to you, out of all people, make me happy?" Sohda suddenly rose up back on her feet, anger boiling in her yet again.

"You're just a bother that's stuck in my way! You can be with Chanyeol without even trying! I hate you!" She said, fire burning in her voice.   
"I was convinced that if paired up against you, I'd be the winner! Because... Compared to you... I'm so much more--- I'm way better..." Kyungsoo looked up at her quietly. She isn't wrong... Even when Kyungsoo thought about it himself, seeing the pair of Chanyeol and Sohda together made them look like the perfect match. Sohda must really love him so much. Slowly, Kyungsoo also rose to his feet.

"Sohda--- I think... I think you're so beautiful, even more than my first impression of you---"   
"I know that. I know that I'm pretty. But---" Her voice was shaking. "If Chanyeol won't fall in love with me, then what is the point of being beautiful at all?" She asked, tears appearing in her eyes.   
"I already know that Chanyeol doesn't love me that way... I can tell--- Because I've always been watching him..." She began sniffing, wiping her tears with the edge of her sleeves. Even when she cries Kyungsoo finds her beautiful.   
"W-Why did you come back here? I didn't want you to see me cry---..."   
"I had to... Because you know so many good things about Chanyeol... You're the only person I could come to." Kyungsoo explained softly, he felt like he's almost about to cry himself because of Sohda's pretty tears.   
"I... I hate you." He heard her whisper again.

Kyungsoo wasn't jealous of Sohda's beauty or anything like that... Not about the bright and happy atmosphere she gives off... Not about how good she would look together with Chanyeol...   
It's probably because he noticed how bright she is when she's in love with Chanyeol. He could only hope that he seems even as half as pleasant when he feels the same way about him. Her love for Chanyeol was beautiful, it made her beautiful, even if many other things that he thought made her who she is were false.

It took a while of somewhat comforting of a silence for Sohda to raise her face and look at Kyungsoo again.   
"You're so annoying. Why wont you let me cry in peace?" She mumbled, but Kyungsoo just pulled out a small pack of tissues out of his pocket, and handed it to her calmly.   
"How can you be so calm? What the hell did you and Chanyeol even talk about earlier today, when he pulled you away? Did you tell him that you like him? Did he tell you he likes you?" Sohda began getting more angry again, grumpily grabbing a piece of tissue from Kyungsoo's pack.

Huh? He told Chanyeol? Chanyeol told him? Kyungsoo couldn't even fathom how impossible such a scenario would be.   
"No way!! Chanyeol would never think that way about me. How would I tell him? I just found out my own feelings today... And only recently people began talking to me, being 'Doshio' and all." Kyungsoo waved his hands in decline as Sohda turned to look down at the grass.   
"Chanyeol doesn't judge people by things like that." She mumbled.

"He's always friendly, and kind... He only trusts people's words and never believes anything before confirming the truth. He can be a little hot tempered when things go wrong, but he'll scold you if you mess up. He hates dishonesty." Sohda began talking again, still looking pouty and upset, but somehow Kyungsoo found it heart warming that she's telling more about Chanyeol to him.

He was glad that he stopped Jongdae from telling Chanyeol the truth about Sohda's actions. If Chanyeol hates dishonesty... He would have started hating Sohda for what she had done. Lying... Spreading rumours... Chanyeol definitely wouldn't have liked it.

"He's popular with both girls and guys, too..." Kyungsoo added to the praises instead.   
"Right, he's bright and--- Wait a moment--- Why am I having this conversation with you?!" Sohda blew at him.   
"I'm just glad... I never got to talk with people like this before. All the movies say that it's never too late to love." He admitted quietly.

Despite what Sohda claimed about him, she still never treated Kyungsoo as nothing other but himself when they're face to face.   
"What are you saying...? Now was my chance. Since we started highschool... Everyone were supportive of me trying to approach Chanyeol like that. They all cheered for me... It was supposed to be my time to shine and make him see only me." Sohda huffed, leaning back and crossing her arms.

"But that's all over now. Chanyeol probably thinks that I like Sehun now, after I've told him so much about how you might like him---... But whatever. I don't even care anymore." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

Her anger mellowed down into defeated acceptance.   
"I knew from the very beginning that he didn't have any feelings for me." Her voice sounded sad. "Even if he knew what I did... What does it matter anymore?" She sounded pretty conclusive with her words, and began walking away from the spot to end the conversation.

"You... You probably still care." Kyungsoo interrupted and turned to her. "I didn't like it when Chanyeol was sure that I have feelings for Sehun. i'm sure he'll understand if you told him the truth." He tried to calm the spirits and sound hopeful.   
"You think it matters? You think he will believe me...? Are you stupid?" Sohda asked rhetorically and coldly, walking away again. This time, Kyungsoo didn't follow her, and didn't try to stop her with further conversation. She understood that he stopped Jongdae from telling Chanyeol everything she had done, right?

Even though Sohda said all of these things, like she doesn't care... Kyungsoo could tell that she still cares. It must still bother her deep inside. The both of them share the same sort of feelings towards the same person... But it seems like even so, that doesn't guarantee a friendship between them.

What will become of Sohda and himself then? Will they begin acting like strangers again? As if they are a nobody to each other? He wondered what kind of connection he'd have with Sohda if they hadn't liked the same person. Chances are, she wouldn't have been talking with him at all if it wasn't for Chanyeol's involvement with him.

Kyungsoo managed to catch Baekhyun and Jongdae when they leave the school, and decided that there's no better time to tell them about how new found feelings than now. After a long day of an emotional rollercoaster filled with questions and discoveries, this would definitely clear things up for both himself and Sohda in the situation.

 

 

"HUH?! So you like Chanyeol?!" Baekhyun shouted out loud with excitement, Kyungsoo definitely was glad that they were far away enough from school grounds so nobody else could hear it.   
"Haha! I knew it!" Jongdae grinned widely. "I'm happy for you! This feeling is one of the best you could experience in your life." His smile softened as he nodded with the advice Kyungsoo highly appreciated.

He's so happy, but at the same time so embarrassed.   
"So? What made you realize that you like him?" Baekhyun asked as the three of them were walking again.   
"What made me realize...? Hmm... Sohda, probably." Kyungsoo answered honestly. If it wasn't for Sohda encouraging him to learn more about feelings of love, and specifically, about his own feelings of love, then Kyungsoo would have probably continued thinking that he only adores Chanyeol like an idol, from afar, rather than... Truly love him.

"Sohda... Huh. I was really surprised from how aggressive she became because of that..." Jongdae hummed out with a shrug.   
"I wonder what I would have done." Baekhyun mumbled curiously. Kyungsoo knew Baekhyun was just speculating, but something in the way his eye sharpened a little made Kyungsoo think that there's a little more than just a theory behind his question.

"But anyway! Back on subject! I'm really happy for you, Kyungsoo." Baekhyun smiled widely instead, erasing every trace of what he radiated a moment ago. "Things are gonna get way more fun now, promise!"   
"Ahh~ Why did I have to make plans with my boyfriend today..." Jongdae began whining. "I wanna hear more from Kyungsoo~" He pouted like a child, Baekhyun happily poked his cheek.  
"You should gain more experience with him so you could teach Kyungsoo what to do!" Jongdae lauched. Then the two of them began talking cheerfully.

Ah... Kyungsoo felt so relieved. He's so happy he told them. He's so grateful that he has such incredible friends who he can tell such things to, and receive this kind of warmth and happiness as a reaction. He was also glad that he told Sohda about these feelings, as well. It's just fair of him to do so.

 

 

The weekend had passed, and the next time Kyungsoo saw Sohda in the school's halls, he was really surprised, could barely even recognize her. She dyed her hair bright blonde, and walked around wearing large reflective sunglasses. She was no longer smiling gently at everyone who walked by, but strutted with confidence and self assertion. Like there was no innocence left in her image at all. She looked... So cool.

As she passed him by, Kyungsoo could see that she was glancing at him from beneath the glasses, but she didn't even turn to speak with him. Just held her head high and kept walking like she owned the place. Even the teachers in the hall didn't dare to approach and tell her that wearing sunglasses inside is inappropriate.

Maybe she has finally come to terms with herself, and after what happened, she'll show her true self to the world and allow people to learn how to accept her for the way she really is. To Kyungsoo, it looked like even though she had changed, the bits and pieces of truth she had in her previous image are still there. And the students at school, although shocked from the difference, still took her for her worth and remained there, trusting in her new self.

Kyungsoo could only hope that with this change of appearance and behaviour, will come a change in honesty. She'd be the coolest person in the whole school if she actually began being honest, and telling the truth about what she thinks and feels to everyone who surrounds her.

During that week, Yubin the band's original senior vocalist finally returned to school, and it seemed that Chanyeol and his group of friends arranged a special gathering party for all of the students who participated as staff members during the outdoors activities festival. Of course, with a dimpled smile, Kyungsoo was invited by Chanyeol as well. It was the first time he ever attended any sort of party with school mates. So he made sure to wait outside of the lot until Baekhyun and Jongdae arrived so he wouldn't enter alone and possibly get too overwhelmed.

It was a small cozy karaoke room with enough space to contain a large group of people. There wasn't much there except for the couches and tables, snacks, and some alcohol-free drinks. After gearing up with a bottle each, the three of them sat down at one of the quieter corner booths and began chatting again. The pleasant, to say kindly, singing of their classmates provided background music.

"Well, we asked you how you found out that you like him. But, when did you start having romantic feelings towards him?" Jongdae asked curiously, Baekhyun sipped on his drink but paid his utmost attention to Kyungsoo as well.   
"A-Actually... I think I liked him for a while now." Kyungsoo responded, his heart pouring straight through his mouth without being filtered by his mind. Is that true? When exactly has he began liking Chanyeol like that?

He watched his classmates play and have fun for a while, but his head kept pounding with more and more thoughts about Chanyeol, who was there as well, of course, laughing and chatting with anybody who bumped into him in the crowded room.

Kyungsoo kept wondering when these feelings first sprouted in his heart, how strong they were, how thankful he is for every smile Chanyeol had blessed him with... And just as he feared, be began feeling overwhelmed, and politely excused himself out of the rented room to catch some fresh air.

The event really is a lot of fun, although Kyungsoo mostly looked at it from the side, not knowing how to blend with the rest and join in to their hyper energy. He was happy to be there at all, but the fact that Chanyeol is there, and that Baekhyun and Jongdae are still looking for more details out of him, was a little too much. He's not used to such social events. Let alone one in these dimensions.

After washing his face in the toilet, he stepped out and stood by the opened windows of the facility by the stairs. The air is cold, it's refreshing. He's been thinking too hard about this. Deep down, he knows when his heart began pounding to the beat of Chanyeol's drum.

It was when Chanyeol called his name for the first time.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

 

Things have changed quite a lot since the beginning of Kyungsoo's sophomore year of highschool.

For some reason, people were always afraid of Kyungsoo. They stepped away from him, cleared him a path to pass through so that they wouldn't have to be anywhere near him more than necessary. He was used to that. Chanyeol, however, Kyungsoo's complete opposite; Bright, friendly, kind, instead of opening him a path to cross, began communicating with him. Everyone always crowds around Chanyeol. Like the sun has stars orbiting around it, he spreads happiness and life. And thanks to that, Kyungsoo also, received a little bit of life.

The first time they ever met was back on the first morning of highschool's enterance ceremony. Up until that point, everyone had always apologized to Kyungsoo for simply existing within his vicinity, as if fearing a curse would befall them. Everyone, but Chanyeol.

"U-Uhm... If you're looking for the highschool, it's that way." Kyungsoo approached the confused looking tall guy standing in the middle of a divergence in the path. With a small gesture in the right direction, he looked up at the guy, the first freshman he'd seen for the year. Kyungsoo had already prepared himself to be apologized to, and left alone.

But then, instead of receiving a fearful apology, the boy smiled at him. A small yet bright smile with a dimple to decorate.   
"Thank you." He said and nodded with gratitude.

Even before knowing who or how Chanyeol was, before knowing they would be assigned in the same class, before even learning his name, this guy had already given Kyungsoo his first charm of good luck. A smile. At that moment, all Kyungsoo could do was fill up with happiness and return just as bright of a smile. He remembers very clearly, the way the boy's face turned into something filled with interest, curiousity, while receiving a smile from him.

Kyungsoo hopes that one day he will be able to be more like Chanyeol. More like the Chanyeol that volunteered to take his task during summer break because he noticed how he does it every time. The Chanyeol that kindly offered him to go out for movies together in exchange for the food Kyungsoo had given him whenever they had to be at school during that break.

He remembers how Chanyeol requested to trade his seats with another student, just to be able to sit next to him. Despite all of the ghostly rumours surrounding Kyungsoo. And that beautiful smile he sent his way when announcing that he's satisfied. How jongdae, Baekhyun and Sehun settled all around him. It made him feel at bliss.

Ever since that day, his heart has been filled with feelings he had never experienced before. He's going to treasure these moments as his precious memories.

That happiness didn't last for too long, however. Shortly after, he learned the true power of rumours in the worst, most painful way possible. Rumours hurting the people who matter to him. How sad they've become, how hurt they were. He took responsibility on his own. Staying away from the only few who brought him happiness, thinking that somehow the distance will keep them safe. However, he learned that even with his efforts, the words kept circulating and escalating.

Thanks to Chanyeol's never ending kindness, and encouraging words and actions, he was able to turn everything around and come to a resolution. He put it to an end by confronting not only those who spoke those words, but also his own fears. Learning how to properly respect the people he loves, and trusting in their good efforts when things get rough.

He made real friends. And it is, to this day, still one of his greatest achievements.

When the outdoors activities festival came around, Kyungsoo got to know another side of Chanyeol he hadn't known. A side filled with passion, excitement, and freedom. The hours they spent together messing around in the music room would be carved in his memories forever.

He became friends with Sohda around that time, too. And heard her confession of her feelings towards Chanyeol then, too.

Thanks to Sohda's efforts in helping Kyungsoo understand exactly what he feels, or rather, in an attempt to steer him away from Chanyeol, he learned what love was. Even if he quickly after found out that Sohda's intentions were cruel from the start.

How she was the one who started the rumours and blamed Kyungsoo, how she tried to make Kyungsoo seem like he is interested in Sehun... He still learned a lot from Sohda. And he truly appreciates the honest words the two of them had exchanged over the matter.

And now that Kyungsoo knows the truth, everything feels like it had fallen into place. Like he'd gotten over the first step of transforming himself and grow to become a little more similar to the person he wishes his better version of himself to be. How now knows that he has a secure spot in other people's lives whether he believes he deserves it or not. It's both a burden and a huge relief at the same time to his contradicting needs and honest feelings, but he'll get through it.

 

 

Kyungsoo had a few days to think over the change he's gone through. Two thoughts however, kept taking the spotlight over all the rest. The first one being, as expected, the revalation of his feelings towards Chanyeol. Honestly, he would love to continue expanding on that and digging down to the depths of his heart for further proof, he just gets so overwhelmed whenever the thought comes up that he nearly has little malfunctions in behaviour at times.

The second one, not too surprising, being Sohda. After her confession, after the confrontation about the truth, she's gone through a massive change herself. An instant shift in everything that everybody thought they knew about her. With her brand new aura, appearance, and attitude, Kyungsoo wasn't even sure if her 'rank' in the eyes of the students pummeled down or spiked up.

One thing is certain though, she still comes over to their classroom's entrance to speak with Chanyeol from time to time. The previous bubbly air that surrounded them in the past is nonexistent anymore, and was replaced by a laid back family-like energy. Chanyeol's smiles and laughter towards her seemed a lot more mature, and her new way of speaking and carrying herself made her, surprisingly, more approachable for a lot or students.

She simply doesn't hold the same sensation of royalty that used to ooze out of her wherever she went. Kyungsoo thought the fact that she became so real about her true personality with the rest of the school was incredible. It's so brave. It must have taken her a lot of strength to break down the cutesie and sparkly facade down.

Thinking about Sohda gives Kyungsoo so many clashing feelings. He nearly jumped when he snapped back to reality and found her standing beside him. Having been given the task to water the flower garden yet again by the teacher, that's where Kyungsoo spent his break. Well, he wasn't there alone anymore.

He stared at Sohda quietly. Her blonde hair shimmering beautifully in the sun, and her resting face expression has an adorable yet piercing beauty to it. She stood there quietly and looked at the flowers, hands held together behind her back.

"I confessed to him." She said quietly. Kyungsoo jerked lightly from the shock. Oh god. How was she able to do such a thing? Kyungsoo could barely bring himself to tell Sohda how he feels, and she gathered enough strength and confidence to tell the one she loves how she feels? Sohda is stronger than Kyungsoo had already thought she was.

"I got really worked up after our conversation. I got stressed, I was scared. It felt like time started ticking backwards on me after I heard your confession." She continued, then lowered her eyes a little at the flowers.   
"I told him that I love him, and then I couldn't stop, and I told him everything that I'd done over the years to try and keep him for myself." Her voice was quiet and mellow, but she didn't seem to be too emotional.

Kyungsoo's heart was beating faster than ever, he felt both anticipation and terrible anxiety, getting lost in her words because he can't handle the wait to hear how Chanyeol reacted to it.

Sohda's face then shifted into a smile, a very warm and gentle smile, and Kyungsoo could almost feel his spirit leaving his body in an attempt to somehow merge with her in order to learn all the things she knows about the confession. But she then just laughed lightly, raising a hand to play with her hair.

"He scolded me so much for that. He looked so shocked, then angry, then disappointed... And then he sighed it all away and began telling me that he really dislikes knowing that I've done such things." She explained calmly, and Kyungsoo could almost see it in his mind. Chanyeol talking to her with that serious face of his. It must have hurt so bad to have the person she loves scold her and show disappointment in her actions.

"But he was so kind too..." She paused talking for a little while and moved her foot on the ground a little.   
"He apologized for not being able to return my feelings, then before I turned to leave he thanked me for loving him." Kyungsoo could finally breathe. He didn't know which answer he hoped to hear, but a huge weight just lifted off of his heart when the relief of knowing that Sohda got rejected washed over his body. Is it selfish of him to feel relief because of that?

That explained the slight change in the way the two of them interact with each other at school. Kyungsoo had noticed it, but he didn't know the reason behind it was the fact that against all of his expectations, Sohda had come forward and confessed more than just her feelings to him. She was able to shed off her previous shell thanks to Chanyeol's kindness. Just like Kyungsoo himself. Both of their lives are heavily twisting and shifting and changing thanks to Chanyeol. Maybe they have way more in common than Kyungsoo thought.

"Kyungsoo... I don't love Chanyeol anymore." She then said, holding both her hands tight together in front of her as her eyes haven't left the dewy flowers shining under the sun. They are so beautiful when the little water groups make them sparkle. These flowers look to Kyungsoo a lot like Sohda right now.

"Knowing for a fact that I don't have a chance... It felt like I was released from a prison of pain, and anger, jealousy, and selfishness. I was caged by my own feelings... I was stuck there for so long, feeling so intensely for Chanyeol in secret." Sohda continued talking, every words she said came straight out of her heart, Kyungsoo could feel. He couldn't relate to the feeling itself, but he definitely felt very grateful to be able to hear these honest words from her.

Sohda sighed and glanced over at Kyungsoo for a little while.   
"You know, ever since middle school, I got so accustomed to being used by everyone else... They achieved what they wanted, and then forgot about my existence. Everyone always had something, a goal, a target, a reason, and I had nothing I wanted for myself." She brought up memories that were clearly unhappy, Kyungsoo could see from the way her eyes looked a little lifeless.   
"I wanted to have something of my own, so I'd stop being pushed around into helping anybody else." Explaining it like this, Kyungsoo couldn't help but understand the logic behind her thought process.

"And... Even though I didn't have anything in common with Chanyeol, who was still just a lanky weird kid that just started middle school like me, I selected him to be my one desired secret. Just so I'd have something to guard, something to treasure. Just so I'd feel like I exist for something beyond the purpose of serving other's needs." Her voice was serious, and hurt, and came from a place in her heart that's filled with painful loneliness. Kyungsoo imagined what it's like to be in a situation similar to what she had described... And surprised himself by realizing he had been awfully living through the same script.

"The feelings I had for Chanyeol were nothing but an illusion of all that I wanted people to feel towards me. It took me some days to realize why I didn't feel anything at all when he rejected me... It's so stupid. I didn't love him, I just loved the idea of being loved like him." She pouted as she spoke, almost as if scolding herself for what her own past self had implemented so deep within her that it took her this long, and this much trouble to uncover.

Sohda then turned to look directly into Kyungsoo's eyes. Her expression focused and real, with no fake smiles or an effortful high pitched voice.   
"I don't regret anything of what I did. I've come to accept it all. But... I put you through a lot of trouble. And I'm sorry. You didn't deserve any of this, and I knew it from the start. Everything was already so tough for you." She spoke seriously, there was a little hitch in her voice that gave away the fact that on the inside, she still has many regrets about the way things have gone. But then her lips puckered out in another grumpy pout.

"D-Don't you dare say that you forgive me, or some pety bullshit like that. I don't need your forgiveness." She pointed her finger at him threateningly for a moment, causing Kyungsoo to stress slightly and raise his hands in the air to signal his surrender. After examining him with her eyes, she dropped the finger, her expression softened, and she laughed for several seconds, loosening up her body and allowing Kyungsoo to ease down as well.

"You're a good kid. I can totally understand Chanyeol." Sohda mumbled with a little smile, before clasping her hands together behind her back again, and turning to face away from Kyungsoo. She can understand Chanyeol? Kyungsoo had no idea what that statement meant, but a wave of warmth washed over him when he saw that her cheeks were pushed sideways in a smile from behind.

"I still hate you, so don't expect us to be all buddy-buddy from now on. But... I'll be rooting for you. So you better not mess it up." She said sincerely, then began walking away from the garden while waving her hand back.

Kyungsoo was... Stoked. He was shocked, and happy, and confused, and excited, and worried all at the same time. But more than anything, he was impressed. After this conversation Kyungsoo was even more amazed by how much she had grown. How she was able to learn from her own bad actions and find a new honest path, that he knows will include no more plans, rumours, or greed. It seemed that after all, Kyungsoo still found Sohda to be inspiring in his eyes.

With all their differences, all their actions, feelings, words and deeds, they really weren't that different from one another at all, were they? Both of them are learning how to handle their feelings, how to adjust the environment around them... How to grow into better people.

Kyungsoo will never stop admiring Sohda. He admired her facade before, and now he admires her true self even more. He felt relieved that she had spoken to him again, and spent the time and effort to explain it all.

Because this was, sort of, her way of giving him the green light to keep going on. She gave him the thumbs up that although she had been hurt as a result of her own actions, she will heal. She will be fine, therefore, Kyungsoo should be fine too.

And it worked, it really worked. Because Kyungsoo felt like he could take over the world. With his close friends, Baekhyun, Jongdae and Sehun... With his other friends, Seungwan, Seulgi, Yerim, and Sooyeong. He felt at ease. He felt like he had a place to which he belonged, just the way he is.

 

 

Normally, Kyungsoo's schedule on his days off during the weekends, goes as following.

He wakes up, makes his parents coffee, and sits to watch some television with them for a while. Then, he takes out the trash and goes out for a jog. Once in a while he also brings recyclable items to the public disposal around the block. Then, he cleans the house, showers, eats his breakfast, and usually spends the rest of the day at home, watching movies, reading, cooking, anything really.

But today is a special day. Because today Baekhyun and Jongdae are coming over for the first time. Just the thought of having friends to invite over makes him happy. But knowing that these friends are Baekhyun and Jongdae fills his heart with warmth. Which is great, it'll keep him comfortable against the chilly winds of October.

When he finished with his usual weekend morning activities, Kyungsoo began working hard to make their visit a pleasant one. Cleaning was already done as a part of his routine, so when he knew the house was in a good condition, he began cooking already. Well, a little more than just cooking. Actually, Kyungsoo was so thrilled about the pair arriving, that he baked a whole cake for the event.

He carefully squeezed the right amount of whipped cream on top of the cake's white coating with utmost focus, to make sure the pattern he left will be even and symetrical.

"So today your friends are coming over?" Kyungsoo's father entered the kitchen and watched with a small smile as his son was so concentrated in the act of decoating the cake. Soon enough, the pair should be here. So he was trying his best to finish this before they arrive.   
"Yes." He replied, feeling himself getting giddy from imagining the two of them pass through the front door.

Just as he finished the last stroke, the doorbell rang, making him jump lightly.   
"A-Ahh--- They're here..." He nervously looked at the decoration remains left on the kitchen's counter, and the apron still tied around his hips, panicking about being less than properly prepared to welcome them inside.

"Don't worry, I'll get the door." His father pet his head gently and left the kitchen. Kyungsoo quickly took the opportunity and cleaned everything up back to perfection. Hearing Baekhyun and Jongdae's voices inside the house already.

After inhaling deeply, Kyungsoo stepped out of the kitchen to greet his two friends. Who seem to be bantering with each other jokingly already in front of his dad.   
"Ah! Kyungsoo!" Jongdae smiled, raising a small plastic bag. "We brought some snacks." Kyungsoo took the bag in his hands happily.   
"Whoa, thank you. I just finished decorating the cake." He smiled back.  
"Handmade cake?" Baekhyun inquired with sparks in his eyes. Kyungsoo laughed lightly and nodded. "Yes!" The two high fived each other victoriously.

"It looks like the guests have arrived." Kyungsoo's mom appears from the hallway behind them. "What lovable guests." She smiled at them warmly.   
"Kyungsoo told us a lot about you two, thank you for taking good care of him."   
"Ahh! That smile! Now we know where Kyungsoo got it from." Baekhyun called out when he noticed his mother's smile, causing Jongdae to hit his arm gently.   
"Hey, show some manners." But Kyungsoo's mother just laughed.   
"Well, come on in, don't just stand there." The two of them seemed to be easily and comfortably speaking with his parents.

Whoa... Amazing. Kyungsoo would have had no idea how to talk so smoothly with any other parent than his own. They all sat and had a lovely dinner together, where, not very surprisingly, Baekhyun and Jongdae were the two to talk the most. Kyungsoo's parents loved them. Kyungsoo felt his heart expanding with happiness.

The three of them eventually made it to Kyungsoo's room, where he brought them slices of the cake he had baked, some drinks, and bowls for the snacks they had brought themselves.   
"Hmm, your room looks pretty simple..." Baekhyun hummed as he entered and looked around the room curiously.   
"Still got those ghostly black curtains though!" Jongdae chuckled as he sat down to the lowered table.   
"Oh, it's easier for me to sleep when there's darkness." Kyungsoo explained and watched how Baekhyun scanned his eyes around the room.   
"Hey! You have some pictures here!" One frame had a picture of Baekhyun and Jongdae with a few other classmates, and a little bit of Kyungsoo's head behind the classmates. Another frame had a similar picture except in a different position.

"Oh... I was looking through the photos from last year's field trip, and found pictures with the three of us together... So..." He mumbled lightly and sat down to the table with Jongdae. Baekhyun placed the frames he had picked and sniffled emotionally before sitting down to the table as well.   
"Speaking of pictures, here, have this." Jongdae grinned, handing Kyungsoo an envelope as Baekhyun blew his nose beside them dramatically. Kyungsoo finds it adorably touching, the way Baekhyun always pretends he's crying whenever someone is doing something that would warm his heart.

Kyungsoo carefully opened the envelope, and found a whole array of pictures. Each picture has the three of them in it, smiling or talking, or just sitting together. Ah! He recognized those. They must have been taken back at the little party the festival staff have thrown at the karaoke place.

"That party was fun, wasn't it?" Baekhyun smiled.   
"They're well taken. I really liked those." Jongdae added before starting to munch on a piece of a snack he brought. Whoa... The more Kyungsoo looked at these pictures, the lovelier they became. Usually Kyungsoo looks like an accidental ghost has been caught in the frame. But in these, he appears at the center of each one, and he looks... Normal. He looks happy. Not anything like a cursed ghost.

Kyungsoo continued to go through the pictures. There was one where he claps happily for Baekhyun and Jongdae who are singing at the karaoke. One where Jongdae's ruffling his hair affectionately. One where Baekhyun and him were holding hands. Ahh... Seeing all of these memories made him so happy, even though he feels quite embarrassed to be seeing his own happiness being displayed. He never got to see how he looked when smiling wholeheartedly like that before.

As he flipped through another picture, he found one that was taken outside of the room. Kyungsoo is seen standing and looking outside the window by the stairs, and... Chanyeol is there too. He's standing a little further behind Kyungsoo, leaning against the wall and staring at the window's direction... Or maybe... At Kyungsoo's direction...?

Kyungsoo's heart froze when he saw the picture. No, there's no way that's the case.   
"W-What is this picture?" He asked, showing it to the two of them.   
"Jongdae took this one himself!" Baekhyun grinned. "This cake is amazing, by the way!" He added after taking another bite off his slice.

Jongdae smiled at Kyungsoo calmly.   
"After you left the room Chanyeol came to ask me where you went. Later when I came out myself to check on you, that's what I saw, so I took a shot." He explained with pride.  
"Oh... I must have caused him a lot of trouble by doing this." Kyungsoo mumbled, his eyes still looking at the way Chanyeol's eyes gazed towards his area in the picture.

"What are you saying, check out the last one." Jongdae teased. And as Kyungsoo flipped to see it, he found that it's a close up picture of Chanyeol. He's looking directly at the camera nervously with his arms in its direction, looking like he was trying to stop Jongdae from taking the picture. Except... His ears are slightly pink. Kyungsoo stared at it for a bit, then chuckled lightly.

Ah... He's happy. He will be able to save all of these memories for a long time now.   
"Thank you." He's going to treasure them well.   
"Don't look so satisfied with just the pictures. Just go and confess already." Jongdae then said with a grin, as if his words had no weight at all. Both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo froze in their spots, staring at him surprised.

"Confess... What...? To whom...?" Kyungsoo mumbled out somehow.   
"Duh, your love, to Chanyeol." Jongdae responded as a matter of factly.   
"Huh... What for?" Kyungsoo's brain hasn't quite registered the depth of these words just yet.  
"What do you mean? For you two to start dating, of course!" Jongdae pouted at him, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No. That's impossible." Kyungsoo raised his hand and shook his head seriously. That's a big no for him.  
"So formal..." Baekhyun whispered poutily.   
"Besides... How do I explain... I'm already satisfied with the way things are between us right now. I can't even imagine anything graeter than that." Kyungsoo looked down at the photo as he spoke, a small shy smile across his lips.  
"You say that now... But how would you feel if someone took him away?" Baekhyun's tone sounded like a mixture of curious and serious. He was smiling, but something about that smile wasn't quite full like always. Why does he seem to be in so much pain whenever these subjects come up?

"I don't think... I'd be able to support them..." Kyungsoo replied, devastated, he started to feel a little gloomy just from the thought. That possibility could have easily happened with Sohda before, for example. And imagining anybody else getting all of Chanyeol's attention for themselves doesn't seem like a pleasant scene.   
"A-Ah, sorry sorry, I almost forgot." Baekhyun quickly apologized, probably realizing Kyungsoo's mind immediately returned to Sohda. "But hey, I feel you. Just because you like someone, doesn't mean you want to start dating them right away!" He brightened back up with a troubled smile.

"Poor Chanyeol..." Kyungsoo heard Jongdae mumble into his palm while averting his eyes.

"Oh, Kyungsoo, what are these?" It seems something had caught his attention. As Kyungsoo followed his line of sight, it landed on a pair of dvd boxes he had placed down on his bed.   
"I rented these movies yesterday. Want to watch them?" Kyungsoo quickly picked them up and showed the boxes to his friends.

One of them was a classic japanese horror movie about a haunted school, and the other was a more recent korean movie about a detective solving supernatural crimes.   
"Wow! Sounds good! I'm up for that!" Jongdae grinned, while Baekhyun began quivering beside him.   
"P-Please don't do this to meee---!" He whined. But between a genre lover, and a ghost-like real life person, he had little chance to win.

Jongdae and Kyungsoo began happily sharing ghost stories with each other, all while munching on the snacks and cake as if it was nothing to be afraid of at all. And for a while, Baekhyun was nearly losing his mind begging for them to stop, until his phone started ringing, so he exit the room to answer right away in panic, almost as if this was his chance to grasp back to life.

 

 

Moments later he returned with a smile, grabbing their attention from the stories to his satisfied tone of speech.   
"Right, sounds silly to me~" He hummed, then without saying anything, handed Kyungsoo the phone, who, after blinking at it for a bit, placed it to his ear.

"...--- So Sehun and Vivi are also with me." It was Chanyeol's voice. Kyungsoo's heart thumped in his chest.   
"Vivi?" He asked, interest sparked. Kyungsoo loved Sehun's dog so much when they came to his house to visit last time.

There was a pause of silence on the line. "Chanyeol...?"   
"A-Ahh--- Right. Hello, Kyungsoo. It seems that Jongin isn't feeling too well." Chanyeol's voice sounded nice from the phone... Just like last time.   
"He asked me to bring you to his place."   
"Oh, really?" Kyungsoo was quite surprised from the unexpected request. Why would Jongin want anything to do with him? Especially when they've met the previous day. And while knowing that Kyungsoo is Jongdae's friend.

"Yeah, I thought we could all go together." Oh... Maybe it really has something to do with the fact that they've met yesterday, now that he thinks about it. Would Jongdae be fine joining them though? Kyungksoo looked over at his guest, seeing the way he rolled his eyes as Baekhyun hed already began explaining the situation to him. Kyungsoo waited only the line, until it seemed to agree to the suggestion.   
"Alright, we'll be there." Kyungsoo finally said softly into the phone.   
"See you soon." He could hear that Chanyeol was smiling on the phone. The call ended, Kyungsoo felt like the day is going to get better.

"It's fine. I don't mind that much. I mean, it's literally my own home. I just spend more time at my boyfriend's place instead..." Jongdae explained with a light pout, then shrugged. Kyungsoo handed Baekhyun the phone and nodded at Jongdae with gratitude.   
"Thank you for agreeing for us to do this."   
"Haha, don't be ridiculous. Come on, they're waiting for us." Jongdae said, while Baekhyun smiled, already standing and carrying a bunch of plates and glasses in his hands to bring down to the kitchen. The three of them finished cleaning everything quickly. Kyungsoo packed a few things for Jongin just in case. After a heart warming greeting of goodbye to Kyungsoo's parents, they were out on their way.

Kyungsoo never expected such a good day would turn into an even better one, but now he's going to see Chanyeol on a weekend. He's so lucky.

And so shortly after, Baekhyun, Jongdae, Sehun, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, and also Vivi, gathered at the destination - Jongdae's house.   
According to what Jongdae had told them, his father and Jongin's mother are busy most of the time, so the chances of them being around are low. When they got there, it seemed that Kyungsoo was the only one slightly shocked. Maybe all of them have already seen it before. It was an unexpectedly big house. Even had a nice little decorative garden at the front. Ah... So Jongdae comes from this type of family. No wonder he was dressed so chic today to visit Kyungsoo's house as well.

After unlocking the front door, they all entered the house. Spacious, neat, modern, it was beautiful. It looked almost like it's barely being used. There is no imprint of a family on the place. No homey scent.

Sehun freed Vivi to walk around freely, since clearly there would be no danger for him there.  
"Right. He's probably in his room." Jongdae shrugged, looking neutral about the whole situation. But Kyungsoo could sense that he was a little impatient. Baekhyun didn't look too surprised from the house's appearance from the inside. At least not as surprised as Sehun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo himself. Which led him to believe that Jongdae must have invited him over here at least once before.

They've made their way to the second floor on the carpetted stairs, and Chanyeol knocked on the door lightly.   
"Jongin? We're here." There was a rumble coming from the inside the room, and the door opened slowly, Jongin leaning against it, looking troubled, and honstly quite creepy. He stumbled back inside without saying a word. And through the entrance, all five of the guests who came to see him, stared at his room in disbelief.

It was... A mess. No, not a mess. It was chaotic. It was horrible. There were empty boxes of ordered food everywhere, layers and layers of empty juice boxes in a pile by the bed, trash bags all around, none are fully filled, nor tied. There were clothes lying everywhere and even remains of old fruit that must have gone bad some generous time ago. They were all pretty shocked, to say the least.

The first to come to his senses however, was Jongdae. Who shut his lips tight together and looked down at his feet. He looked tense. Nervous. To Kyungsoo it looked like he was sad, worried, angry... And mostly, ashamed.

Jongin miraculously managed to let his body fall onto the messy bed, rather than on another pile of trash lying beside it. Kyungsoo exhaled lightly, and stepped inside first. Placing the medicine he bought on the way there aside. He walked directly towards Jongin, and placed his hand on his forehead.   
"H-How's... My condition..." The boy mumbled beneath him. But Kyungsoo could only gulp and cover him up quickly with the thick blanket.

"It's pretty bad. Let's keep you warm." He tucked Jongin in tightly and removed a few balled up clothes from the edges of his large bed. Chanyeol came beside him to look at Jongin as well.  
"It's a cold." Sehun said quietly.   
"Definitely a cold." Baekhyun sounded unimpressed.   
"Just a cold." Jongdae huffed out, looking around the room in disgust. "If my boyfriend was here he'd flip." He sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

"I brought a few things..." Kyungsoo explained lightly, taking the bag he had brought with him to the bed. He pulled out a small packet of a cooling little forehead pillow and leaned in to Jongin to remove his hair sideways with his fingertips carefully in order to place it down. But before he could reach, Chanyeol grabbed it out of his palm and placed it on Jongin's forehead instead.

"I also brought some energizing food." Kyungsoo nodded and took out a small box filled with little bits of cooked meat, vegetables, and rice from home. When Baekhyun explained that Jongin was not feeling well, Kyungsoo made a whole health kit on the spot. He took a piece and brought it to Jongin's lips, but Chanyeol pulled it out of his hands and fed it to Jongin instead.

"There's the medicine, too---" It was taken out of his hand before he could even speak. Whoa... Chanyeol is so kind that he wants to take care of Jongin by himself. He must care deeply for his friend to be so eager like this.

"Thank you for helping out, Chanyeol. You're such a great friend." Kyungsoo smiled at him. And Chanyeol quickly averted his eyes, rubbing his head.   
"Aaah... Yeah... Thanks." He looked a bit nervous. Kyungsoo didn't even need to touch Jongin at all, Chanyeol did everything himself instead. Maybe he is very protective of Jongin in this fragile state, and didn't want someone like Kyungsoo to touch him. Ahh... He's so careful and reliable.

It couldn't be for any other reason. There's no way that Chanyeol cares enough about Kyungsoo's health to sacrifice himself by touching a sick person for his sake. And there's not even a little bit of a chance that Chanyeol did it simply because he didn't want Kyungsoo to be treating anybody else with this much care and attention. Kyungsoo had to calm down for a few moments to stop his conceited thoughts.

Several moments and grunts of discomfort later, eventually the other three guests managed to clear themselves a spot on the floor, and settled there, with Vivi calmly sitting in Sehun's arms like royalty, unbothered.

"Kyungsoo... Last night... After I met you..." Jongin began talking in a heavy voice, looking more traumatized than anything else related to actual physical health.   
"Huh? You two met yesterday?" Baekhyun barged into the conversation curiously. Kyungsoo nodded lightly.   
"Yes, yesterday when I was borrowing the movies from the renting store, Jongin was there as well." He began explaining, noticing how everybody's attention is on him, especially Jongdae's.

"He told me he wasn't feeling too well. And looked pretty shaken, too. I suggested he'd rinse his throat with salt water... But now I'm worried it might have made it worse." He started fidgeting with his own fingers worriedly. Looking down at his knees.

"After I met you... I heard scratching noises in my room during the night..." Jongin spoke again. Oh no, it must have been his ears ringing from the fever. Or possibly some living creatures who have taken a liking to the state of his room.   
"Jongin, please try to rest." Kyungsoo urged him politely and got off the bed. "It might take some time, but I'll clean this room for you." He announced, looking around. He did feel just a tiny bit responsible for Jongin's state.  
"I'm pretty good at things like that."   
"Cleansing of malicious spirits...?" Jongin mumbled under the blanket lowly.

"Hmmm~ Jonginie, since you're going to sleep, want me to tell you a story?" Jongdae stepped close to the bed with a smile that could mean nothing but malice. "Huh..."   
"I've heard this one recently. It's a true story, by the way." Jongdae began.

Kyungsoo started trying to work out a cleaning plan in his mind for this mess of a room, meanwhile.   
"Every night, the sound of a knock comes at the door of a guy that lives in a big house, but stays in his room all alone. He goes to check every time, but there's never someone on the other side of the door." Jongdae's voice turned quieter and deeper.   
"In the past... In that exact house... Inside that exact room..." He whispered something into his ear.  
Everyone in the room jumped when they heard Jongin's shout from whatever it was that Jongdae told him at the end of the story. But moments later, he was knocked out, sleeping like a log. After sighing deeply, Jongdae stood up from the bed and turned to Kyungsoo.   
"I can't believe I have to clean after his crap... But, I'll help you out." He didn't look pleased.

Kyungsoo could tell that it bothered him not only because of the matter of the task itself... It's because he's worried about Jongin. Even with all the disagreements and confrontations they've had in the past... Jongdae is still so kind that he cared for Jongin's well being in his heart. And Jongin's current state is worrying in more than just the health issue. The fact that his room is in such a state means he clearly is suffering through something that stops him from being able to care after himself.

Kyungsoo felt touched by the well hidden sentiment in Jongdae's heart, and got encouraged from within to work even harder.   
"Me too!" Baekhyun and Chanyeol chanted and raised their hands simultaneously, offering their help. Sehun blinked at all of them quietly.   
"I gotta keep Vivi safe." He said instead.

Somehow, that broke the icy atmosphere that spread in the room, and everybody, even Sehun, began cleaning up whatever they could while Jongin slept.

 

 

The urgent filth was cleaned out first, then the towers and piles of empty foods and drinks containers. Then the bags and other surprises they found hidden within them. In about an hour, the place already looked at least a hundred times better. And out of everyone, Kyungsoo could see that Jongdae was the one working the hardest. Putting the most effort. His heart felt warm... The two of them, although deep in a contraversy between one another, are still half brothers, they truly do have a connection after all.

Mindlessly, Kyungsoo was folding together a bunch of folders. But out of one of them slipped what looked like an old photo. As he picked it up to place it back, Kyungsoo was surprised to see what the photograph contained. It was a man and a woman sitting next to each other and smiling, in front of them were Jongdae and Jongin.

Except they must be no older than three or four years old. Ah... This photo is from the time they hadn't known they were only half brothers... They look so happy. Holding each other's hands and smiling at the camera, standing so close to each other. Kyungsoo wondered what kind of relationship the two of them would have had if they actually remained close through the years.

The photo was taken out of his hand, as Jongdae stood beside him and looked at it quietly. His expression was serious. There was longing, happiness, sadness... So much pain and regret, but also, so much love.   
"Are you worried?" Kyungsoo asked quietly. Everyone else were too busy playing fetch, throwing a random object between the three of them to tease Vivi.

Jongdae stiffened lightly at the question. But then eased down, his shoulders lowered with a long exhale.   
"It's too late for that." He said quietly, and shoved the picture back to the folder it came from.

Kyungsoo felt sad. Hopeless. Jongdae, with such a heart of gold, had to go through such rough emotional turbulances in his life, and yet he never once asked for anyone's mercy. He never caved in, never broke the happiness surrounding him. He's so kind and selfless, while having to deal with this much pain all on his own. Kyungsoo wanted to stop him. He wanted to grab his hand and tell him that it's never too late.

It's never too late to tell the truth, to learn about one's true feelings, just like he did, all thanks to Jongdae himself. He really wanted to, but he couldn't. Because Jongdae's usual smile returned faster than Kyungsoo could actually act upon his wish.

His heart felt heavy, but Jongdae turned back to him with a gentle smile, and Kyungsoo knew that he wouldn't want this feeling to somehow change the fact that today has indeed been quite a wonderful day. Since all of them got to meet and spend enjoyable time together. It's not Kyungsoo's place to solve this issue for Jongdae, he learned that he shouldn't decide anything for other people already. So he can only hope that if an opportunity arises, he could come of help.

Just as Kyungsoo finally sat down beside Chanyeol and began petting Vivi, who was napping majestically on Sehun's lap, noises could be heard from the bed. Slowly, Jongin sat up and looked around suspiciously for a few moments, until suddenly his eyes widened.   
"Ah! This is my room! It looks so different!" He said in surprise. Even from his voice it was easy to tell that he must feel way better.

He then got up from the bed in a hurry and rushed straight to Kyungsoo, grabbing both his hands within his own.   
"You're incredible! You saved me! I'll definitely call you next time I get posessed!" Huh...? Posessed? Does Jongin still believe that Kyungsoo has any real suprnatural abilities like the old rumours have told? Kyungsoo blinked at him in confusion, but also relief of seeing his brand new better condition.

Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Chanyeol, all stared at him quietly from beside Kyungsoo. Jongin spent a while staring back at them. Or more specifically, back at Jongdae. He let go of Kyungsoo's hands and turned to face him directly.   
"Thank you." Jongin's voice was suddenly free of all dramatization. He sounded calm, collected, and sensible.   
"All of you." He added, and lowered his head down in a humble way to show gratitude and appreciation, and everything went silent for a long while after.

"A-Anyway," Kyungsoo broke the unexpectedly awkward silence, and brought his bag of goodies to Jongin.   
"You should continue resting and heal up quickly. Take another pill in an hour, alright?" He smiled lightly as everyone else got back on their feet as well.   
"Aha~! Of course. I will do anything you tell me to!" Jongin replied with renewed playful energy.

They all greeted him goodbye and well wishes of health and left the room. Kyungsoo could see Jongdae and Jongin standing in front of each other at the room's entrance after everyone else had already exit. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but Jongin bowed to Jongdae again before Jongdae shut Jongin's own room's door on him and went down the stairs with a cold expression.

 

 

Everyone all left the house together, and began making their way to a spot they could all diverge from. Jongdae looked calm, almost relieved.   
"Today ended up kind of weird, but it was fun. We'll definitely come again, Kyungsoo!" He smiled.   
"Oh for sure! Your cake was really delicious." Baekhyun hummed with satisfied agreement.   
"Please do, I'd love that." Kyungsoo replied with a smile of his own. "We spent all day together, and now it's already dark... It almost feels a little lonely to say goodbye." Kyungsoo said to them both quietly, looking at the path ahead.  
The longer one spends with a person, the tougher it is to part ways. Is what Kyungsoo thought while walking together with the group. Spending a day like this, surrounded by people who are so precious to him... He didn't really want it to end. It was only his first time going on such an adventure, so he was very grateful. However the little stressed sadness from parting ways was relieved when they came to the familiar crossroads that he was more familiar with.

"My house is this way." He stepped ahead and turned to around to look at everyone else.  
"Thank you for today, please get home safely." He smiled warmly.   
"Hey, Chanyeol, you better walk him home." Baekhyun nudged his elbow into Chanyeol's side.  
"Right, it can get dangerous when it's dark." Jongdae nodded.

"A-Ah, it's alright!" Kyungsoo quickly dismissed the demand. Yeah, Kyungsoo already knows that it's dangerous outside in the dark, and scary. But he also knows that the reason for it is his existence. All his life he scared people on the streets at night unintentionally, simply because of his ghostly appearance and silent way ot carrying himself.   
"I'll try to walk back without scaring anyone!" They do have a point though. If Kyungsoo always ends up scaring people when it's dark, it can put them, and him in a dangerous situation.

"I'll walk you home." Chanyeol said with determination, stopping Kyungsoo's little panic.   
"I'll walk you home, so don't stress out." He repeated, staring at Kyungsoo's uncertain expression.   
"Would you not want me to...? If so, please say it." He stepped slightly closer to Kyungsoo, sounding serious.

"T-That's not..." Kyungsoo mumbled, surprised from Chanyeol's quick acceptance of the task and his enthusiasm to complete it. Since the task has to do with Kyungsoo, he didn't expect such sincerity. It was quiet for a moment.

"So, I'll join Chanyeol." Sehun said, but was quickly dragged off by a pouty Baekhyun.   
"Are you an idiot? We literally live next to each other!"   
"Yes. But then the short way would be that path---" His mouth was covered by Jongdae's hand as the two of them kept walking away, caging him between them with Vivi following along.  
"Kyungsoo! Tell your parents thank you from us again!" Baekhyun called from the distance, waving with a smile. Kyungsoo could not do much more than wave back calmly.

And then it was quiet again. Just Chanyeol and him standing on the path with the starry night sky spreading above them.   
"Let's go." Chanyeol began walking ahead. Of course Kyungsoo wanted Chanyeol to walk him home. Why wouldn't he?

"Looks like our days are starting to get shorter." Chanyeol said again after a while. Kyungsoo hummed in agreement, and they walked in silence again. He's so happy. He had such a great time today, he was so glad that Chanyeol was a part of it as well. He was so happy that he couldn't make his words come out to thank him. He couldn't even look at Chanyeol's face. The back of his head is something Kyungsoo will never get tired of seeing.   
His long neck, his hair flowing lightly in the wind, his ears peeking out adorably. It's a view that right now, only he gets to see. Following his long legged steps from behind. Everything about Chanyeol is so admirable.

Suddenly, Chanyeol stopped, and Kyungsoo looked up at him a little surprised from the unexpected cease. Chanyeol turned to look back at him quietly, curiously. Huh? What is it?

Only when his eyes trailed down to the edge of his own sleeve, Kyungsoo realized that he somehow involuntarily managed to grab onto Chanyeol's sleeved arm with his fingers. Embarrassed, he quickly let go and began to stress.   
"A-Ah--- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stop you..."   
"No. No, it's fine." Chanyeol stopped him. Eyes locked directly with his, and Kyungsoo couldn't look away.   
"You can hold on if you'd like. I'll guide you if it's too dark."   
Ah... Really... It's unfair. Chanyeol is seriously too kind. Maintining eye contact with Chanyeol for this long, made Kyungsoo's heart beat so strongly in his chest.

"Ready?" Chanyeol asked calmly, and Kyungsoo nodded wordlessly. Heat began spreading through his body as Chanyeol continued walking. Kyungsoo hurried up behind him. Now there was barely any distance between them at all. Kyungsoo walked right behind Chanyeol closely. Like a duckling following after its mother. He could even smell the scent of the perfume Chanyeol uses, leaving a trail behind him.

The truth is, Kyungsoo jogs on this path every saturday morning during the weekends. He knows every little curve in the ground like the back of his hand. But he still took it. He still stayed as close as he can to Chanyeol. He wouldn't be able to face him if Chanyeol knew that the only thing he's having trouble with right now, is handling just how intense and strong Kyungsoo's feelings for him, and not the bumps on the road.

He hoped that one day, when Kyungsoo will want to tell him how he really feels towards him, the same way he's feeling right now, Chanyeol would still offer to become his light in the dark. Although the galaxies are shinging brightly above them, all Kyungsoo can see, is the way Chanyeol is glowing in the night light. The nape of Chanyeol's neck was more fascinating than ever.

The way Chanyeol's individual strands of hair reflected the brightness of the stars against the darkness between them was magical. The whole universe is spreaded around, but the only thing in it, is Chanyeol. Kyungsoo could only wish that one day he also, will become a source of light, just like Chanyeol.

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

 

Time passed by as quickly as it could. Before Kyungsoo was able to blink about just how fast time ran, it was nearly the end of the semester. Autumn had already made its appearance with fiery reds and oranges, and now all that's left are the naked branches preparing for the chill of winter.

Halloween was pretty nice this year. Usually that holiday, as a child, was Kyungsoo's time to thrive. With his naturally creepy ghost-like appearance, he didn't even need to wear anything special to be in costume. And this time, after years of no intentional participation on Kyungsoo's side, he was able to play along.

Normally during Halloween the school allows students to dress up for the day and prepare fun activities. Every year Kyungsoo would have come dressed as a regular student, which somehow still ended up being the most terrifying thing anybody has ever seen, apparently. But this year, Baekhyun and Jongdae told him they wouldn't allow him to enter school without a costume.

He came as a vampire. It was easy because the stores sold the capes for almost nothing. And his mother helped him add some fake lipstick blood to the corners of his mouth, too. For some reason, however, although he finally dressed up, nobody was scared of him at all. An unexpected turn of events for somebody's used to be a subject to fear without even trying. At first he thought that his costume wasn't good enough, but realized that this makes more sense, since the fear of the vampire must be somehow cancelling the fear of him.

Baekhyun dressed up as a famous action movie star that came out that year, and Jongdae, out of all things, decided to dress up as an animated movie's villain. They were stoked when they saw Kyungsoo in costume. And coming to school dressed up sure gives the atmosphere a different feeling. But through the day of being a student, Kyungsoo could only think about how adorable Chanyeol looked in his werewolf outfit.

There was a little event for students to participate in after school hours with some holiday related activities, but Kyungsoo spent that time sneaking between the shadows like a real vampire and delivering papers for some teachers whom tasks he accepted for the sake of the rest of the classroom's pleasure and freedom.

 

 

And with that, another month had passed. Today was going to be one of the last few relatively pleasant days outside, before the real cold weather overtakes everything. Kyungsoo liked the fact that during autumn, the sky always looks crystal clear. Like it's sharper than ever, a high definition version of reality. Everything is crisp and windy.

He calmly took out all the material he's going to need for the day from his locker, from the locker isles right at the building's entrance, when somebody came behind him and wrapped around him from behind in a hug.   
"Yooo Kyungsoo!" It was baekhyun, grinning and squeezing him for a moment before laughing at his surprise and letting go. "Surprised you, didn't I?"   
"Oh... Baekhyun... Yes. I wasn't expecting such a friendly greeting." He nodded, and Baekhyun laughed again. "I can do it everyday if you'd like!"

Kyungsoo giggled lightly and held the books right in his hands, managing to lock his locker with his hand.   
"You seem to be in a great mood today." He spoke to Baekhyun again.  
"Mmmh yup! Guess so. New years is coming up soon!" Baekhyun's mischiveousness disappeared into a happy smile. Huh? Soon?   
"But... It's still november." Kyungsoo's words fell on no ears, because Baekhyun's attention was already turned towards the people entering the building instead.   
"Yo! Morning, Chanyeol!" he called cheerfully. And Kyungsoo stiffened up to turn and look at him.

He sees him at school every single day of the week, and yet only now, because Chanyeol was finally wearing the school's vest under his blazer to combat the chilly weather, Kyungsoo realized that his hair has grown out quite a lot ever since they met last year. It reaches quite a low spot on the back of his neck. He looks so handsome... Almost like he got even younger.

Chanyeol smiled and approached the two.   
"Morning! You sound pumped up." He began chatting with Baekhyun, but a moment later turned to look at Kyungsoo who staring up at him in such awe that he started getting nervous. "W-Wha--- What is it? Don't tell me..." He quickly placed a hand on the side of his head as if hiding something.   
"Is my bed hair this obvious...?" He asked defeated before removing the hand.

Oh... That's right. Only after Chanyeol mentioned it and directed his attention to it, Kyungsoo noticed there was a strand of hair that bumped out, refusing to join in with the rest of the flow and making Chanyeol look much like a puppy.   
"I should have just played it off as the usual hairstyle, then..." Chanyeol smiled with a bit of shyness.

Kyungsoo couldn't take his eyes off of him. Everything about him is simply endearing. The eye contact shared between the two of them was broken, however, when other classmates greeted Chanyeol and grabbed his attention. He laughed and smiled with them, heading towards the classes. He looks so happy and cute when he laughs, when he smiles. Kyungsoo just loves watching him do whatever. Chanyeol simply existing would get Kyungsoo to applaud.

Now that he thinks about it, in the past, Kyungsoo enjoyed watching Chanyeol because he thought he was incredible for being surrounded by people. He wanted to become someone who is as amazing as Chanyeol. But now... He loves watching Chanyeol because it makes his heart feel warm just from seeing him happy.   
"Why are you blushing, huh?" Baekhyun teased him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder as they began walking to class as well. It seems like his feelings for Chanyeol are still growing little by little as time passes by.

However, the giddy feeling quickly disappeared when they enter class, and founnd Jongdae sitting at his desk and tapping incredibly fast on his phone with a serious expression. Quietly, the two slid into their seats, until Baekhyun leaned towards him curiously.   
"Morning, what's up? Everything's okay?" He asked cautiously.

Jongdae sighed heavily and locked his phone, placing it aside as it continued to vibrate with some new messages again and again.   
"Uuuaaagh this is so tiring." He whined, turning his awfully serious mood to something easy going and light. But it was easy to tell whatever he was dealing with was deeply affecting him anyway.   
"So many things are happening at the same time... I feel like I can't even shut my eyes without something popping up." He pouted and sprawled himself over his own table.

Both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo stared at him for a while. It seemed like Baekhyun took it for what it was, and got ready to brighten up the mood for Jongdae's sake. But to Kyungsoo it looked almost like Jongdae was making it seem like nothing serious is happening just for Baekhyun's sake.

"You guys wanna come over and hang out at my boyfriend's place today? He has a suuuper cute cat." Jongdae asked, looking mostly at Kyungsoo, because obviously, Baekhyun had already been there with him.   
"Count me in! I miss that little guy." At least Kyungsoo can assume so from the way Baekhyun reacted to enthusiastically to the offer. Kyungsoo noticed Jongdae was looking at him, waiting for the answer in anticipation, so he nodded in approval as well.

Whoa, that's so nice. Both Minseok and Jongdae's boyfriend have adorable cats. More of his friends have pets as well, like Sehun has Vivi. Kyungsoo always wondered what it'd be like to have his own pets. But more than the thought of little lovable animals, Kyungsoo began wondering what it's like to be in a relationship like Jongdae's. Where he feels so comfortable and secure about his connection, that bringing friends over to a place that isn't his, is something he can decide. It means the two of them give each other so much freedom, and yet they are tied together so well by effort and choice.

They must be incredible for each other. Kyungsoo felt pretty lucky that he'd be able to see it with his own eyes. But at the same time, knowing that he's about to get exposed to probably way more intimate connection between two people makes him a little shy. Other than his parents he never saw a pair of people kiss in real life.

An intimate couple... He'd expect to imagine Chanyeol and himself in one compromising situation or another, but instead, the image of Junmyeon and Sehun standing and talking so cheerfully outside of school after the outdoors festival popped in his head. Right, it seemed that the two of them managed to get pretty close to one another.

Kyungsoo had known Junmyeon for years, he knows what a happy Junmyeon looks like. He definitely looked very happy speaking with Sehun. Kyungsoo also knows that Sehun likes someone already, but it'd still be wonderful to have two of his friends befriend each other anyway.

He turned around in his chair and looked at Sehun, who was resting his head against the table. His curiosity took over him.   
"Sehun?" He asked. Sehun raised his head lightly from the table right away and looked up at Kyungsoo gently.   
"Hm?"   
"Did you talk with Junmyeon lately?" He asked curiously. Sehun stayed silent for a moment, but then rose up some more and looked at Kyungsoo with a small smile. There was a new spark in his eyes.   
"Yes." He was more than happy to receive that answer. Kyungsoo smiled back.   
"That's good to hear."   
"He thought your halloween costume was cute." Kyungsoo blinked surprised. H-Huh? How does Junmyeon even know what he wore? He hasn't told him, hasn't shown him either.

Appreantly the confusion was visible on his face, because Sehun pulled out his phone and tapped a few times before handing it to him. Puzzled, Kyungsoo examined the screen, finding that it's a picture of himself smiling with Jongdae and Baekhyun while wearing the vampire outfit.

"W-When..." He felt pretty shy, but at the same time he found it very heartwarming to know that both Sehun and Junmyeon care about him this much. When trying to pass the phone back to Sehun, his finger accidentally brushed against the screen, and another picture showed up instead of the previous one.

It was a picture of Junmyeon and Sehun together, Junmyeon smiling widely as if in the middle of laughter, while Sehun is kissing the side of his head and looking at the camera.

Kyungsoo stared at it for several seconds before Sehun finally realized something was happening so he took the phone back, checked the screen, and suddenly stiffened in his seat. Sehun.... He, started blushing...? Kyungsoo noticed he looked nervous all of a sudden. But Kyungsoo's own heart was exploding with warmth and happiness.

"A-Are you two..." He began asking carefully, piecing the details he knows all together, to expose the final truth he had finally discovered. The person Sehun liked... It was Junmyeon all along, wasn't it?

Sehun covered his own mouth as his elbow was leaning on the table, and his eyes were looking elsewhere outside the window. Then, he simply nodded. And it was enough for Kyungsoo as an answer. He could feel happiness flowring through his entire body, from the core right to the very edges of his fingertips.

"Are you happy?" He asked quietly, smiling. And Sehun nodded yet again. Kyungsoo had to hold back from 'Aww'-ing out loud. Sehun's flushed cheeks, and his smile hidden under his long fingers... So adorable. He felt like he just unlocked the best pandora box in the world. The two of them looked truly happy in the picture together.

So things like this can happen too... It only takes as much as one of the pair to finally tell the truth about their feelings to the other. Kyungsoo is exposed to so many different types of love around him.  
There is the love of his parents, who beyond loving each other, also love him together indefinitely.   
There are Jongdae and his boyfriend, who from what he heard, are the perfect example of a healthy relationship based on trust, honesty, effort, and honest attraction.  
There are now, Sehun and Junmyeon. Who must have only very recently began exploring what sharing love with one another is like, so everything must be new, exciting, and fresh.  
And then... There was Sohda. Who experienced what it's like to have her feelings rejected.

Are any of these types of love similar to the love Kyungsoo feels for Chanyeol? There is so much he wants to know about him, so much he wants the two of them to talk about and share, but... Something is stopping him. Like a barrier that doesn't allow him to push further. Even if it only takes one to get to the next level with a confession, is he ready for it? Does he truly want it? Kyungsoo's mind doesn't allow itself to imagine anything of that sort.

 

 

Distracted by these thoughts about love and its many shapes and forms, Kyungsoo's day ended twice as fast. Jongdae, Baekhyun and him have packed their bags and started their way to Jongdae's boyfriend's place. The three of them calmly chatted with each other through the journey, until Kyungsoo started recognizing the path they go though from the time when Chanyeol brought him over to Minseok's little apartment in order to see how Tan was doing.

The more they continued, the more Kyungsoo felt like he's going through a deja vu. They got to the same street in town, same block of apartment complezes... They even reach the same exact building and go up to the same floor. At that point Kyungsoo was pretty shock for how much of an incredible coincidence it is, that Jongdae's boyfriend lives in the same floor as Minseok. He was very confused, but still in awe. Until Jongdae pulled out a key and unlocked the exact apartment that Kyungsoo knows belongs to Minseok.

"We're here~" Jongdae called out cheerfully.  
"Welcome home~" Minseok called back.   
Right as they entered Tan was already rushing from behind the sofa to meow at them. He has grown even bigger now!   
But more importantly, they are at Minseok's place?! Which means Jongdae's boyfeind is---

Kyungsoo saw Jongdae come over to Minseok in the little kitchen and peck him on the lips softly. He stood there in quite a shock while Baekhyun made himself at home and let's himself fall over the couch, reaching out to let Tan nuzzle against it.   
"Sup Minseokie! I see you got that table fixed!" Minseok pouted.   
"Are you mocking me? That's the best I could do." He replied, looking at one of the dining table's legs that seems to have been wrapped in at least one whole duct tape roll.

"Ah, Kyungsoo, why are you standing at the door? Come in, make yourself at home." Minseok then smiled at him. And Kyungsoo, still in a mini shock, took off his shoes and sat beside Baekhyun. Tan immediately climbed up to the couch and layed beside him. Kyungsoo managed to finally adjust a little better to the news thanks to being able to pet Tan and hearing him purr.

"S-Sorry, I was just a little surprised because I didn't know you two... Were..." He began explaining a little later, when there's tea in his hands, cookies on the coffee table in front of the couch, and everyone sitting down around it.   
"Boyfriends?" Jongdae smiled, and Kyungsoo nodded lightly.   
"Whoa, really? I was sure Chanyeol already told you that before you came over to check on Tannie." Minseok said a little surprised, then took a cookie shard into his mouth.

Oh, right, Kyungsoo completely forgot that the fact that Chanyeol is also Minseok's friend, that means that he had to know Jongdae and Minseok were dating.   
"No, but... It makes me happy, knowing that now." Kyungsoo smiled at them. Jongdae and Minseok glanced at each other and chuckled. All the while Baekhyun sat there, stuffing himself with tea and cookies quietly. He looked very calm, but at the same time like there's something burdening his heart from within.

They talked about Tan for a bit, about school, a little about Chanyeol and Sehun, and Kyungsoo wasnt sure if he should say anything about finding out that Junmyeon and Sehun are together. But suddenly Minseok mentioned how adorable Sehun and Junmyeon looked in their last photos together.

Kyungsoo was surprised but relieved, he would have been able to stay quiet about it. But it's always a lot better to not hold any information that needs to be concealed. He felt lucky that even though he has no means of communication with anybody outside of school, he can still keep up with everyone like that. He might have seen the picture on accident, but he's a part of it now.

"Kyungsoo, have you seen the pictures? Since I know you don't have a phone." Minseok asked and Kyungsoo nodded in reply.   
"I saw them on Sehun's phone this morning."   
"Ah~ I wish you had one of your own. It'd be so much easier to contact you that way!" Jongdae whined.   
"Hey, it's fine. Not everybody's able to get one as easily as you." Minseok poked his cheek lightly.

Maybe he should consider getting one. Staying in contact with everyone like this even when he doesn't see them, being able to still talk outside of school? That would have been a wonderful thing to do. Junmyeon, Sehun, Minseok, Jongdae and Baekhyun. If all of them have phones then it's already worth it. And... Chanyeol. Since Chanyeol has a phone then it would be even more worth it. Kyungsoo began asking about phones, how they work, how much they cost and other important questions. Learning about them would be good whether he gets one or not.

"It makes things so much easier! We could call each other, send each other pictures, jokes, and generally share anything we want with you." Baekhyun began explaining. "All of us also have a group chat, where we can message each other through the application on the phone, and continue talking no matter where we are or what we're doing." He spoke enthusiastically, and then gave Kyungsoo a little grin.   
"Chanyeol is in the group too~" He hummed, causing Kyungsoo to blink a bit surprised. But if he's there too... Then Kyungsoo felt like this is already enough reason to purchase one quickly.

After starting to talk about phones this much, it was almost an ironic timing for Baekhyun's phone to begin ringing. He moved aside to answer, then returned.   
"Sorry guys, I think I'll be going now. Joohyun from the choir wants me to help her practice."   
"Ahh! Joohyun, the adorable shy senior?" Jongdae asked and Baekhyun nods with a smile.   
"I'll see you all. Byebye Tannie!" He grinned and rubbed both his palms over Tan's face in a funny manner, then left cheerfully.   
"Bye Baekhyun~" Minseok waved at him before the door was shut.

 

 

After his leave, Jongdae sighed and leaned backwards against the bottom of the couch.   
"I can't believe he's coming back... and he only contacted you to ask that yesterday?" He spoke in a more serious tone than usual, looking at Minseok with a worried expression. The facade is gone. Kyungsoo is a little surprised from the quick switch in atmosphere, but he knew since the morning that Jongdae was working hard to maintain lively for Baekhyun.   
"Was I supposed to say no? You know that he's only been sending actual paper letters to Junmyeon and me through this year..." It still didn't change the fact that Kyungsoo had no idea what's going on.

"Sorry, Kyungsoo. I just didn't want Baekhyun to hear this... Uhm. " Jongdae began, looking nervous. Minseok ran a hand through Jongdae's hair gently, which affected him visibly almost immediately and brought him back to a balanced state.   
"A friend of ours is coming back." Minseok stated instead.   
"Oh, isn't that good?"   
"Well... He's someone very important to Baekhyun... Well, used to be. But due to the urgency of his leave, he couldn't tell Baekhyun he'd be leaving at all." Jongdae continued from where Minseok stopped. Kyungsoo felt like he understood now, why Jongdae had such a serious expression this morning at school.   
"Anyway, he left for a about a year, and now he's back. He's going to live with Minseok for a short while... And we're worried about Baekhyun." He sighed, rightfully so.

"We don't know what will happen if he finds out. He's going to be here tomorrow." Minseok said, as Tan lazily made his way to lay in his owner's lap.   
"Sorry for getting you into this. Everyone already knows except for Baekhyun." Jongdae apologized, looking down at his empty tea mug with a bit of sadness.

Ah... That means Junmyeon, Sehun and Chanyeol also know about this. Maybe even Jongin. He must have been someone pretty important if he still means so much to them after leaving for so long.

Well, at least that explains a lot about why Kyungsoo sometimes had the feeling Baekhyun's heart was getting crushed by something at unexpected situations. That longing look he had in his eyes, the way he went silent from time to time. How he always averted his eyes away from couples holding hands... Is this because of the friend who had left unnanounced?

Even at the next day at school, Kyungsoo couldn't take his eyes off of Baekhyun. There wasn't even a bit of a sign that anything was wrong at all. Kyungsoo would have never known he had to experience such feelings all this time if it wasn't for what he heard during yesterday's visit at Minseok's. How will Baekhyun come visit Minseok now if that friend is going to live there?

Who knows for how long? Even Minseok hadn't had any idea. Kyungsoo was staring at Baekhyun, and from the corner of his eye, he could tell that Sehun, Chanyeol, and even Jongdae were all staring at him as well. It'ss such a stressful situation that they all have to properly hide so that Baekhyun's happiness will be secured.

 

 

"So, let's gamble now, how many people do you think will stand in line to our class tomorrow?" Baekhyun turned around in his seat and asked in a teasing manner, while pretending to act like some sort of card game master in a casino. Kyungsoo chuckled lightly from the convincing acting, although he didn't really know what reason would there be for people to line up to their class.

"Mmmmh. Gonna be a noisy day. I better sleep a lot tonight so I could handle it." Jongdae hummed in reply, leaning towards the imaginery game board Baekhyun had prepared, and pretending to flip a card over. Baekhyun raised both hands up in the air immediately.   
"Wooo! Jackpot! You win!" He cheered loudly, before pretending to turn the card over and show it Jongdae between his fingers.   
"You win... Being able to... Give me your cafeteria card today because I forgot mine at home." Baekhyun started dramatically, but then turned into a defeated sigh at the end.

Jongdae laughed for a moment before leaning back in his chair again.   
"Sure. I brought leftovers from the dinner Minseokie made yesterday anyway." It's been a few weeks ever since Kyungsoo's visit to Minseok's place, only few days left until december will make its grand appearance.   
"Why would people want to come to our classroom tomorrow?" Kyungsoo asked curiously, seeing how Baekhyun bowed dramatically deep towards Jongdae after the cafeteria card had been transferred.

Both Jongdae and Baekhyun glanced at each other, before turning to look at Kyungsoo a little suspiciously.   
"What do you mean? Don't you know what date tomorrow is?" Jongdae asked.   
"Hmm... The 27th of November?" Kyungsoo responded questioningly, doubting his own perception of time all of a sudden.   
"Yes... And...?" Baekhyun gestured lightly, as if to urge Kyungsoot to think some more about it. But no matter how many times he thought of the date, nothing special really came up in his mind.

"Kyungsoo, it's Chanyeol's birthday tomorrow. Don't you remember how it turned to be almost like a national holiday in school last year?" Jongdae asked while recalling the memory, while Baekhyun laughed lightly.   
"Poor guy, could barely move around." He mumbled, remembering some more.

Kyungsoo, however, sat in his spot in shock. Tomorrow is Chanyeol's birthday? And he didn't even know? What kind of classmate is he? What kind of admirer? What kind of friend? The world began spinning around him as he started sinking into a whirlpool of devastating thoughts.

He didn't know anything about this... What a fool. Now the important day will be happening tomorrow and he wasn't able to prepare anything at all ahead of time. He could have put proper thought into it if only he paid more attention and knew that the date was so near. Kyungsoo was doomed, to say the least. How is he supposed to think, plan, and make anything meaningful for Chanyeol in such a short notice? He messed up. He messed up so bad, and he will most likely regret this forever.

"Hey--- Hey Kyungsoo, please return from the dead!" Baekhyun tried to bring him back to reality by shaking his shoulders lightly. "You look like you've either seen a ghost, or became a ghost. And I don't know which is worse." Baekhyun looked at him, then gently pet his head and sat back down in his own chair.   
"Don't worry too much, Chanyeol's not the type to enjoy too much unwanted commotion like what happens at school." He reassued him as best as he could. But at this point there's very little that could convince Kyungsoo that he hasn't screwed himself over.

For the rest of the day he was struggling so much to think about what to get for Chanyeol. There are too many limitations because of the short time notice, so whatever he manages to think of would have to be very restricted in the amount of time it takes to do. He only has a few hours to prepare something. It wouldn't be enough for anything actually worthy of making at all. Kyungsoo could only further beat himself up in his head for not knowing beforehand and preparing something big and amazing like Chanyeol deserves.

He kept trying to think on his own all day, but came up with nothing at the end of the day, and from that moment, time will only continue ticking louder and faster, and every minute of his free time with no responsibilities counts. So in a desperate attempt, he asked Baekhyun for help.

Luckily, Baekhyun was a pretty good partner for this, because due to living in town, he knows exactly where to find anything that they may seek. And after school, the two of them went there together to find something suitable for a birthday gift coming from Kyungsoo to Chanyeol. Suggestions about picture frames, toys, school supplies, a decorative object, and even a coloring book kept coming from Baekhyun, but Kyungsoo had to decline them all, knowing that giving Chanyeol a gift is more meaningful than just the object being given. So rather than a whole existing item, he'd prefer finding something he could make on his own instead.

While passing by the main town's market, where different stands selling various different items are located on both sides of the road, Baekhyun had led them unintentionally, to check out a stand selling winter relate clothing equipment.   
"Oh right, winter's right around the corner. I need to get some gloves... Maybe a hat..." Baekhyun began mumbling, searching through the collection lazily.

Hey... That, might not be a bad idea. Maybe there is something he could do after all. It would be nowhere as great as Chanyeol deserves, but Kyungsoo will do his very best and give his whole into it. The gift will be coming right out of his heart. So it has to at least be half decent, right?

He felt a huge relief from finally setting his mind onto something specific to make, and managed to buy all that he needed quickly enough to not hold Baekhyun back for too long just to be with him. And now with an anxious heart that's prepared for the task at hand, they started walking back and out of the shopping area of town.

Just from everything that happened recently, like how he found about the old friend coming back, and how deeply he's wrapped in his own feelings of love towards Chanyeol, Kyungsoo was wondering if there's anybody Baekhyun likes.

Jongdae has Minseok... Sehun and Junmyeon are now a new item... And Kyungsoo likes Chanyeol. But... Does Baekhyun have anybody to occupy his heart? Kyungsoo debated whether he should ask or not, because he was worried about possibly opening up a subject that'll hurt Baekhyun.

But he ended up muttering the question out loud anyway, surprising himself by doing so. He should have been more careful. He would hate it if the question would turn the mood into something Baekhyun will have a hard time getting out of again.

Baekhyun turned to him, looking pretty neutral, until Kyungsoo recognized that he had this distant longing look in his eyes again. Regardless, Baekhyun smiled.   
"Actually, I'm a little confused about that myself." He admitted, rubbing the back of his head.   
"I... Used to like someone. A whole lot. But I'm not sure how to feel about it today." He explained, looking genuinely uncertain.   
"I kind of wish I could stop liking them back then. But... Sometimes liking someone isn't as easy and happy as sunshine and rainbows, I guess." He laughed. But Kyungsoo could feel the intense emotions behind Baekhyun's struggle now.

"Anyway! Let's stop for some ramen at Sehun's! I'm starving!" He quickly changed the subject of the conversation, allowing Kyungsoo to escape the strange atmosphere easily by smiling and nodding along. Kyungsoo wondered what Baekhyun meant exactly. He answered the question, but it only left Kyungsoo with even more questions unanswered. There's too much unknown for anything to be clear.

He wondered if his own liking of Chanyeol would be enough to keep his heart away from getting hurt and suffering like what he can only imagine Baekhyun's heart is going through. He already knows he wouldn't be able to support others who like Chanyeol the same way that he does. And he knows that he would hate it if Chanyeol decided to suddenly stay away from him to create a distance. But would he then... Stop liking him? Or be stuck in a loop of pain like Baekhyun?

Luckily, the visit to Sehun's family ramen place was a big success. The two of the sat at the bar right in front of Sehun's uncle, the beloved ramen maker, and had a good conversation filled with jokes and delicious ramen until all bellies were satisfied. Sehun wasn't there, but they still had a pleasant time eating together. Kyungsoo was glad that he had learned what he did, and he was even more glad that he was able to focus his energy into making something for Chanyeol's birthday.

 

 

Today is the day. The marvelous birthday of the one and only prince of school, Park Chanyeol. Kyungsoo should have probably gambled in Baekhyun's imaginary game yesterday, because just like both he and Jongdae anticipated, the entrance to their classroom was crowded to the brim with students from all over the school. Most of them were just repeatedly singing 'Happy Birthday' again and again, while others were carrying actual gifts in their hands.

It really became a holiday at school from the amount of festivity that could be felt everywhere. Chanyeol was the star of the day. Everyone were showering him with presents, songs, greetings and love. Even Sohda came by their classroom and gave Chanyeol a box of an expensive brand of shoes.

Kyungsoo wanted to be a part of the happy energetic spirit, but his worries were too big to fully submit into the liveliness of the celebration. He just at his table all day, not interacting with Chanyeol even once. He was too busy for Kyungsoo to have the privilege to take his time away and having to spend it on him. He felt pretty terrible about how bad his present is compared to all of the incredible and useful items the other students at school have given and done for him during the day.

He couldn't even make eye contact with him. All of the chaos kept spreading around through the day, but Kyungsoo was in his own world of disappointment and fear. There are so many people who are doing their utmost best to make Chanyeol happy on his special day, and he can't even do that. What has ever done for Chanyeol... ever, actually?

From the moment Chanyeol had entered Kyungsoo's field of vision, and until the moment school ended, he looked very overwhelmed. But it was in a happy way, in an apologetic humble one. Even when Chanyeol is quite literally the center of attention and reason this day had become such an event for the students, he's still polite, careful, and humane. Kyungsoo couldn't even comprehand what it must feel like to be in his position.

In the end Kyungsoo kept delaying talking to Chanyeol at all. School hours were over, and if Kyungsoo thought he felt the stress before, he only began worrying more, now. He really wanted to give Chanyeol his gift and congratulate him properly. But will he even be able to?

He stood by the lockers isles at the entrance and waited, hoping it'd be a private enough setting to make it happen. But along game the noise, and he saw that Chanyeol was still surrounded by a lot of people. He was already carrying about three plastic bags filled with different expensive gifts. Kyungsoo got extremely discouraged. How could he even think anything he'd say or do could compare to all of this?

Eventually, it was decided that maybe it'll be better if Kyungsoo doesn't even give it to him at all. It's so lame. How can the gift he brought be anywhere near a match to the expensive other presents, love, and attention Chanyeol kept receiving all day?

He left the school, but something in him wouldn't let him simply drop this opportunity. His last year's self would have left without a doubt in his heart, but he is not who he was last year. Chanyeol had taught him so much. And if there's one thing he learned, is that he shouldn't decide feelings for others. He might feel extremely disappointed in himself for today, but it'd be too selfish of him to assume that Chanyeol would be too.

So he stopped at the usual spot where the roads diverge and the two of them split their paths on the way back from school, and waited. Just like Chanyeol used to wait for him there back in the summer.   
Kyungsoo wouldnt give him the gift, but he could at least tell him a simple happy birthday, right?

Chanyeol waited there for a while. The weather definitely is giving away hints of winter. Bored of the cold silence, he took out the gift he prepared for Chanyeol and exmained it again. Running a finger over what he had made, with sadness spreading in his heart. He got really deep in thought about how terrible of a person as a whole he must be towards Chanyeol, for the way today had went so far.

He didn't even realize Chanyeol had already made it there as wel, and stood right in front of him. Shocked, he jumped and hid the item behind his back nervously.   
"C-Chanyeol! Ah... Hmm..." He stumbled on his words.  
"Hey, is everything alright? I noticed you haven't even told me good morning today... Did I do something wrong?" Chanyeol asked, sounding worried, and Kyungsoo quickly shook his head to decline.   
"N-No, of course not!" Chanyeol stared at him.   
"Are you sure?" He insisted, and Kyungsoo felt like he's being cornered.

 

 

"Happy birthday, Chanyeol." Kyungsoo said instead, looking down at the ground nervously. His shoulders were stiff from holding the gift behind his back. Short silence followed. Slowly, he raised his head to see Chanyeol's reaction, and found him starting to smile only at eye contact. Ah... He probably ruined Chanyeol's mood with this. Chanyeol looked so happy during the day, and now his smile is---... Huh?

Chanyeol's smile remained fairly small, but the way his eyes were shining so brightly, the way his cheeks brightened in light pink... He looked... He looked so happy. Way more than how he looked at school.

"Ahh~... I'm so relieved." He let the gift bags fall to the ground and raised both hands to run them through his hair and over his face.   
"I was so scared I'd done something wrong that made you upset at school... I'm so glad." He sighed and covers half his face with a hand.   
"Thank you, Kyungsoo. Everyone congratulated me so many times today... But only now, after you said it... I feel like it's real." He huffed, pink ears peeking from behind soft hair.

Kyungsoo was frozen, Chanyeol looked like he's glowing. He's so beautiful. The way his hair is all fluffed up now, his cheeks pink, his eyes shining in their smiling slits, his way of talking while maintaining the smile... Kyungsoo's heart isn't going to make it.

He wants to do more. He wants to make Chanyeol happier. He wants to see him be this happy all the time. Feeling the thumps of his heart in his ears, Kyungsoo started fearing that maybe he had made the wrong decision. And even if his gift isn't good at all, just like he learned, he shouldn't decide things for other people.

Without saying a word, Kyungsoo unveiled the gift from behind his back and shoved it into Chanyeol's hand, lingering with both his hands there as if to keep it covered for a moment longer. He was looking down at the little bandaids covering his fingertips, before finally pulling back and allowing Chanyeol to see it, the gift. He was surprised, to say the least, from having anything put in his hand at all. But even more so when he saw what it was. Kyungsoo couldn't hear anything other than his own heart beating as Chanyueol opened up the piece of cloth to its full size. It was a fairly short yet thickly knitted red scarf. Chanyeol examined it with his eyes, but paused when he found what was there to see.

At the end of the scarf's one side, was a carefully detailed embroidment in the image of a cartoonish giraffe. He lingered looking at it for so long that Kyungsoo started feeling like he had just failed one of the biggest most important missions in his life. He worked on this all day and night, carefully sewing each of the strings by hand to bring this giraffe to life.

"Kyungsoo..." Chanyeol said quietly. He held the scarf tightly in his hand, then reached his other hand out and grabbed onto Kyungsoo's own hand gently. Raising it up so he could look at it. Nervously, Kyungsoo curled his fingers inwards. He's so ashamed that not only he gave Chanyeol such a lame gift, but that he had also managed to prick himself so many times in the process, that he had to cover almost every finger with a bandaid in one spot or another. His hand was eventually released, and Chanyeol looked deep into his eyes sincerely instead.

"Thank you." His eyes were shining with a spark Kyungsoo hasn't seen before.   
"Thank you, it's beautiful, and adorable. I love it. Thank you. I will put it to good use, I promise." He said with just as much sincerity. Kyungsoo could tell that he's being honest.   
"I-I'm glad..." He mumbled airily.

Chanyeol then took a step back, and Kyungsoo was sure he's going to drop it into one of his gift bags. But instead, he folded it carefully and placed it inside of his school vest's inner pocket. Whoa... That's usually where students keep their wallets, phones, or other precious items. Kyungsoo's gift definitely doesn't deserve to be there. It even created a buldge to the vest's neat usual appearance. But Chanyeol didn't seem to mind.

"Kyungsoo, I really have to go, but I will use it. I promise." Chanyeol then said, grabbed his gift bags, bowed to Kyungsoo deeply, and hurried on his way. Kyungsoo kept watching the way his pink shaded ears kept peeking out of the hair from behind. Overhwelmed was an understatement to how Kyungsoo was feeling until he ran off behind the curve, disappearing in the distance.   
Did... Did he do it right?

On his way home he couldn't help but doubt what he had just experienced. Not because he doesn't trust Chanyeol's words, but because it all happened so quickly that there's a high chance that even his sharp good memory about anything related to Chanyeol, is toying with him. He knew Chanyeol was truly happy... He could see it. He could still see that bright shine in Chanyeol's eyes when he smiled after being congratulated by him. Let alone the way he looked when receiving the gift.

He just hoped it'd be of use. He hoped he hasn't come off as cheap or lame for giving him such a thing. He simply wanted to make Chanyeol happy, and he knew Chanyeol liked giraffes. He remembered hearing him talk with his friends about how he could relate to them because of how tall he is, and how his ears point outwards all the time. So even if it's not his favourite animal... It must be something he could still like. right?

Kyungso just wants to make the person he likes happy. That's just natural. Everyone who likes someone else would want to do that. The thing is... That his mind keeps turning back to Baekhyun. Baekhyun and his love to a person who seems to have not been fulfilled. Baekhyun is so strong... How can he handle having these feelings that constantly hurt him? Kyungsoo can't even imagine feeling the same way. He's way too weak. So much so that he can barely handle liking Chanyeol normally as is.

He wished there was something he could do to help Baekhyun. Just like how much Baekhyun, Jongdae, Sehun and Sohda helped him deal with his struggle of realizing he loves Chanyeol. Maybe he would be able to help Baekhyun if only Baekhyun would explain it to him. Though, now that he thinks about it, Kyungsoo would probably be of no help. Jongdae, Minseok, Sehun, Junmyeon... They have the experience to be able to help Baekhyun with proper knowledge. While ksoo is a rookie in the field of love.

 

 

December is now blowing in their faces. The weather's turning colder with each passing day. Kyungsoo didn't mind it that much. He doesn't specifically enjoy the winter, but as long as it isn't raining, he'll be fine with any temperature. He can always cover up some more if it's needed. So he was glad that today's forecast showed no rain for the day.

Before the weekend had begun, Baekhyun cheerfully invited Jongdae and him for a sleepover at his place, since his parents will be out of the house for some days. Kyungsoo was very flattered to be invited, and more than happy to accept.

"I'll be off now." He called, wrapped in a thick buttoned cardigan and a scarf around his neck as he stood at his house's entrance, carrying a small bag with everything he's going to need with him at someone else's house.   
"Alright hon~ Enjoy! If you need anything you can call home at any time." Kyungsoo's mother smiled cheerfully and waved as he left, his father pet his head lightly before the door shut behind him.

This is the first time he's been invited for a sleepover. Jongdae and him are going to spend a night at Baekhyun's house. He's sure it's going to be a lot of fun. It'll be the first time he'd visit Baekhyun's house, too. Although he knows Baekhyun lives right across from Sehun's family ramen shop and house, he just never got to visit it before.

He only ever heard stories about what people usually do during sleepovers, but never got to experience it himself, since as the cursed spirit 'Doshio', nobody would really want him to spend the night with them. Which is completely understandable. Especially because he wouldn't have been able to stand up to everyone's expectations and actually tell proper ghost stories or summon ghosts at all. All he knows is that people stay up until late, play games, and talk a lot to bond. It's going to be a lot of fun doing these with his two precious friends.

Except as he made it near Baekhyun's house, he spotted a familiar person coming towards Sehun's house. It was pcy. Wearing a large coat and a scarf around his neck as well. It seems that Kyungsoo has been spotted as well, because Chanyeol changed his direction of walking and made it to stand in front of him instead. Now from up close, Kyungsoo noticed that the scarf around his neck is none other than the red one he had given him. The little giraffe image is peeking from under the wraps the scarf's doing around his neck.

It warmed Kyungsoo's heart a lot, and made him feel like he had renewed some of the energy he had lost while convincing himself that his gift was no good. Chanyeol smiled brightly.   
"Yo, Kyungsoo! What are you doing here?"   
"A-Ah, I'm going for a sleepover at Baekhyun's." Kyungsoo responded, pulled back to reality out of his own Chanyeol-dreamland by real Chanyeol's question.   
"Oh really? I was just going to hang out at Sehun's. How about I get him and we all gather at Baekhyun's?" He smiled brightly. But before Kyungsoo could answer anything at all, the door to Naekhyun's place opened in a slam.

"Hey! Why are you making plans with a guest instead of the owner of the home?" Baekhyun stood by the door, arms crossed and lips pouted. He didn't have any shoes on, so he didn't dare to step outside. Both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol jumped at his unexpected arrival.   
"Right, right, my bad. I'll be bringing Sehun over then!" Chanyeol grinned cheekily and turned to head over there. Baekhyun laughed lightly before smiling at Kyungsoo.   
"Come on, hurry inside. It's so cold!" Kyungsoo complied and entered the house, glad to be wrapped in homey warmth again compared to the cold outside.

"Whoa, you've brought a whole sleepover kit?" Jongdae laughed when he saw the different bags Kyungsoo had brought with him. One containing his own essetials for the night, and one plastic bag containing a bunch of treats to share and eat together. Baekhyun's house had almost an identical design to Sehun's. Except because there was no storefront on the ground level, the place was used to become a large welcoming living room. With a bunch of sofas, a large television screen and a whole lot of cushions.   
"Whoa... What a lovely place." Kyungsoo thought out loud.   
"Ah thank you, thank you~" Baekhyun replied with a grin, and grabbed onto Kyungsoo's snack bag while Jongdae had already brought his essentials bag up to Baekhyun's room on the second floor.

But moments after Kyungsoo took his shoes off, somebody was knocking on the door. Baekhyun opened up, both Jongdae and Kyungsoo curious behind him. Chanyeol stood at the front, Sehun beside him, and behind them a few more guys from their classroom carrying a bunch of drinks and snacks.   
"It seems that I brought a little bit more than just Sehun over." Chanyeol smiled apologetically.

Baekhyun was quite surprised, but then whined, and smiled, and allowed everybody access inside.   
"Fine then, but if any of you break anything I'll haunt you in your sleep." He warned the group that entered. And shortly after, everyone had taken over the living room space.

Talking together, eating snacks, laughing, passing the juice between one another. Kyungsoo was a little overwhelmed by the amount of people that could be contained in such a small space. But seeing how much fun everyone are having together by just chilling around like this, made him feel amazing. He's part of it, too.

He never thought he'd ever get to experience being a part of such a large gathering of people. It's warm and welcoming. He felt happiness. Especially when looking at the way Chanyeol was enjoying himself with everyone.

They've all spent a while like this, it was bliss. Kyungsoo got to learn so much about the classmates he usually doesn't get to interact with. He was so thankful for this opportunity. they talked about love, about the girls in their class, it was really fun and inisightful.   
"Hey, Sehun, you still have that one game at your place?" Baekhyun suddenly asked while Chanyeol and Sehun were busy in their own conversation.   
"Hmm, probably. It'd be in my brother's old room if so." Sehun answered after a short thought. Baekhyun smiled and stood up.   
"Okay! I'll bring it over. Anything else you need from your place?" Sehun shook his head, and Baekhyun was out of the house. Kyungsoo could see him jog over across the street and enter the store.

Sehun's phone then began ringing, so he stepped aside into the hallway to answer. But a few moments later, he came back, still holding the phone.   
"Jongdae." Was all he said for Jongdae to spring up to his feet and hurry after him to the hallway. Kyungsoo couldn't hear what was being said, but he saw that Sehun and Jongdae were having what's called a 'face time' call with someone.

Several minutes passed and the call still went on.   
"I'm going to check on them." Chanyeol then said to Kyungsoo before going over to the pair in the hallway, but since now Kyungsoo was sitting kind of on his own, he also stood up and made his way there, instead of trying to butt in to his classmates' other conversations.

"...--- Just got here a couple days ago, and already fixed the table!" Minseok's voice came out of the device, Sehun, Jongdae and Chanyeol all looked at the screen, Kyungsoo managed to also get a glimpse. It was Minseok and Junmyeon sitting beside each other, with a third person he doesn't recognize sitting in the frame as well, looking like he's asleep.   
"There's just one thing..." Junmyeon said, looking troubled.   
"What is it?" Jongdae asked.   
"Right... Uh... He doesn't stop asking about Baekhyun." Minseok said, right at that moment, the house's door opened behind them.   
"He said he knows what he had done, that he wants to make things right." Junmyeon added. Kyungsoo turned to look back, seeing Baekhyun approaching them.   
"H-He's---..." ksoo barely mumbled in an attempt to warn the others about his arrival.

The angle of view changed around on the phone's screen, and the unknown third person's voice could be heard through it, mumbling something they couldn't make out, before Sehun hung the call up. All four of them stiffened in their spots in the middle of the hallway. Baekhyun stood there and looked at them with suspicious confusion. But Chanyeol quickly smiled and wrapped an arm around Kyungsoo's and Jongdae's shoulders.   
"Hahaa, we were just about to head back to everyone!" He said before pulling the two of them back towards the living room. Baekhyun looked at them without saying a word.

Although Kyungsoo felt his heart thump from Chanyeol's arm around his shoulder, he was filled with sadness and confusion himself. He recognized from the video call that Junmyeon was over at Minseok's place. And he knew that their friend from the past had just made it back to live with Minseok... Which means the third person aside from them, was their friend. The one who left.

Kyungsoo looked back to Baekhyun and Sehun after sitting down, finding that Baekhyun was already smiling and laughing again. But it's so unfair. It felt awful to hide such a thing from him. Baekhyun is smart... He must know that something is going on even if everyone, including him, are acting like everything is fine on the surface.

The hours passed. The classmates left the house, eventually Chanyeol and Sehun left as well. And it was only Jongdae, Baekhyun and him sitting in Baekhyun's room and playing different types of games together. It was fun, because for several hours Kyungsoo forgot about how tired he usually is around these hours of the night. Jongdae helped Baekhyun bring over an extra pair of blankets into the room while Kyungsoo changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth. Then ksoo prepared his and Jongdae's beds when Baekhyun and him got ready to sleep themselves.

It was quiet when the light was turned off. They've spoken a bit before, but now the silence is starting to get to him. Lying like this in the dark, Kyungsoo felt the weight of the truth they're hiding from Baekhyun. How terrible it must feel for him to be aware that something's happening, but not knowing what it is.

He was glad he was a part of it, because otherwise he would have began speculating other unpleasant things. Yet Baekhyun is so strong. Will they really be able to continue hiding this? How long do they think the guy will stay around? Kyungsoo wished there was a way to make things better. This is really tough.

 

 

He didn't know when he fell asleep, but he knew that when he woke up, Beakhyun was already out of the bedroom. How was he awake so early? Or... Is it possible that Baekhyun simply couldn't sleep? Kyungsoo found him down in the kitchen sipping on a glass of milk and playing on his phone, but before he could speak, Baekhyun smiled at him.   
"Morning! I thought of making some breakfast myself, but I'm not the best when it comes to handling the kitchen... Mind lending a hand?"   
"Oh. Good morning. Of course." Kyungsoo could only smile and keep on the facade.

Pancakes, scrambled eggs, toasts and bacon, all of these Kyungsoo helped teaching Baekhyun to do by demonstration and assistence. He was definitely not the best student, but hey, at least the kitchen didn't burn down in flames. By the time they were done, Jongdae had already made his way down to the kitchen as well. Breakfast was cheerful and pleasant, sitting and watching a movie together afterwards was also fun. And as the afternoon clocked in, it was time for them to leave. They both thanked Baekhyun for the hospitality before leaving his house and heading away.

"Honestly, I was afraid things would have gone bad..." Jongdae spoke as he walked beside Kyungsoo. It was cold outside again.   
"Gone bad?"   
"Yeah. With the call... We were lucky Sehun turned it off on time." Kyungsoo nodded quietly at Jongdae's concerns. It must be even harder for Jongdae to handle this feeling. He's been a closer friends to Baekhyun for longer.   
"At first I couldn't tell whether he noticed something was up or not." He sighed. There was nothing but silent crisp wind flowing in the air.   
"Aaaaugh, so difficult!" Jongdae suddenly whined out loud with frsutration, smacking his cheeks with both his hands.

"I wonder... If there's anything we could do for him?" Kyungsoo asked, hoping that maybe Jongdae would have an idea.   
"I don't know what we could possibly do in this situation... As long as we keep them separated, Baekhyun could continue on as normal. But... But he wants to meet Baekhyun... And talk with him... And we don't know what to do. We can't just tell him that. Baekhyun would not react well." Jongdae huffed out a heavy breath that left a white little imprint in the cold air for a second.

It just... felt wrong. To lie to Baekhyun like this. Kyungsoo felt his stomach turning everytime he thought about the fact that he knows something Baekhyun doesn't. It's such a dreadful feeling. There's no way he could keep holding it for a long time.

"I just... It's not right. I feel awful, not being able to comfort Baekhyun, when I know what it is..." Kyungsoo said in an airy voice.   
"You and I both." Jongdae agreed, looking sad. "We're in the same boat here... I can't say anything... How will I explain that my own boyfriend is housing someone who had hurt him this much for so long...? Ugh. I almost feel like a traitor." Jongdae's voice was pained, and deep. Kyungsoo noticed that he started getting tense, both his hands clutched into fists.

What are they, as Baekhyun's friends, supposed to do? How could they solve this situation of keeping Baekhyun safe, while knowing that his source of pain is now back again and wanting to see him?

What does anyone do when both sides are the good guys in the story? Or perhaps... Both of them are the bad guys? Kyungsoo didn't know anything of what really happened between them. All he did know, is that a change must happen. They aren't children anymore. They're not quite yet adults either, but at this point in their lives, all of them know that their actions carry consequences.

And that they have to carry the responsibility of dealing with those when handling sensitive situations like these. Kyungsoo wondered if it's even their place to interfere... Maybe they should just let the days roll without caring whether or not the two of them see each other. Let the world choose for them when it's their time to meet.

But knowing that Baekhyun is hurting, and might get even more pain is something Kyungsoo wouldn't be able to endure. Not if there's something that can be done. There has to be something.

 

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

 

 

 

School life continues on.   
A little longer and Christmas would come to greet them. At school, everything has been going on like usual, except the weather is getting even colder, and Kyungsoo keeps getting emotional heart attacks everytime he sees Chanyeol come into class wearing the scarf he had given him for his birthday. The little giraffe embroidment peeking from under the folds everytime. It looks good on him. So good, and so cute. And Kyungsoo was so grateful that his gift could be of use for him. Because really, that's all he wanted.

He was so glad that even though he struggled, Chanyeol found his gift meaningful and proper to wear in front of everyone. Nobody but the two of them knew just how important this scarf is, but... That only made Kyungsoo's heart beat faster whenever he saw him wear it.

On the other hand, however, Kyungsoo couldn't help but keep dwelling in the troubled feelings he has towards Baekhyun and the situation with their friend from the past. Kyungsoo cannot do anything, while Baekhyun has always done so much for him. He barely knows anything about it... Not that it's his place to pry, he's just a new little addition to their already existing group of friends. Even if he tried he wouldn't reach each of the others' level of importance. But he sure is curious about it anyway. Because the more he will know, the better he will be able to behave around Baekhyun and avoid possibly bringing anything negative up. Like the time he asked about the person Baekhyun liked... He felt so guilty.

If only he was more like Chanyeol, then maybe he would have been able to properly cheer Baekhyun up instead of feeling so useless about it all.

Kyungsoo was very glad that inside the school's building the temperature was warm and pleasant. Because the cold really started getting to him on the way there. Right after he entered the lockers' area, he noticed Jongdae coming behind him.   
"Good morning." He greeted quietly.   
"Morning." Jongdae replied, less cheerful than the usual. The two of them know exactly why. He looked tired, like he had trouble sleeping at night.

Shortly after Jongdae, Jongin entered, waved at Kyungsoo from afar to greet him, then entered a different isle of lockers, avoiding being seen by Jongdae.   
"Do you think Baekhyun has caught up to what's going on?" Kyungsoo asked Jongdae quietly, waiting for him to take out his books from the locker.   
"I wonder... All I know is that Minseok is having a hard time because of it all." Kyungsoo looked down with subtle sadness.   
"It's because we love him, both our friend, and Baekhyun. Minseok keeps saying how they were so---... They were so good." Jongdae huffed. Kyungsoo could tell that there are many memories shared between them from the emotion in his voice.

"You don't know much about him... Do you?" Jongdae asked as they started making their way to class.   
"No. He's an old friend of all of you... Right?"   
"Say... He will be out seeing a possible new place for himself today. Would you want to come to Minseok's place? We could tell you more about him. I can tell it's bothering you." Jongdae suggested, and Kyungsoo was touched by the sentiment. He's so lucky to have such a mindful wonderful friend that cares so much about him and notices when things burden him.

"We can invite Junmyeon too, and Sehun, if you'd like. It's just... Better if he isn't there when we mention Baekhyun." Jongdae explained with a dreaded expression, and Kyungsoo agreed that indeed, this would be the best way for the meeting to go on without having either of the sides be involved.   
"Thank you. I would really appreciate it. I want to be able to help in this situation, too." Kyungsoo nodded, feeling slightly encouraged from being invited to take a part of this ordeal.

"What is this? What are you two doing?" Chanyeol came from behind the two of them in the hallway. Looking slightly worried due to their unexpectedly gloomy energy at the moment.  
"Haa... I don't even know. Talking about how useless and powerless we are...?" Jongdae answered with a huff, his voice was deep, but he sounded whiny at the same time. So somehow, it kind of helped.   
"Oh. I assume it's about Baekhyun." Chanyeol sighed lightly. Still looking dashing with the red giraffe scarf around his neck.

The three of them headed over to one of the less populated hallways on the first floor to continue talking. Jongdae led them there, in fear that if Baekhyun suddenly showed up near them it could make matters worse.

"...--- And he acted like he's so tough afterwards. But I think he might have heard or seen something." Jongdae sighed, after speaking for a while about the way Baekhyun was behaving about it for the past year as a whole.   
"I also---..." Kyungsoo mumbled, both Chanyeol and Jongdae turned to look at him. "When I woke up the next morning, he was already in the kitchen... I'm pretty sure he hasn't slept that night at all... Do you think he really knows something?" Kyungsoo spoke worriedly. Jongdae ran a hand through his hair in distress.

"Oh... So that's why you two are so slumped. I felt pretty bad about it too. I hate hiding things from people... We should put an end to this somehow." Chanyeol spoke, crossing his arms, he began thinking.   
"Accidental meetup...?" He then asked doubtedly a few moments later.   
"Huh? You think this is some kind of drama on TV?" Jongdae shot him a pout. But then they entered a long silence in which neither of the three were able to think of any other possible way to end this suffering other than a physical confrontation between the two in order to talk it out and get to a solution.

They are all so worried about Baekhyun and how he will take the whole thing. And yet, they cannot really do anything. It isn't especially hard to understand what Baekhyun feels when one as just as looks at him and the way he behaves. But it'll start getting worse if he'll continue trying to act tough. None of them are even sure whether or not Baekhyun knows their friend is back. Most likely not, but he knows that something is happening. And that his friends are hiding it from him. It's so unfair.

"They have to meet. They have to see each other and talk about it." Chanyeol said again, this time, with more confidence.   
"Seriously?" Jongdae huffed back at him. "It isn't that simple."   
"No, I don't mean it like this." Chanyeol thought for a few moments.   
"Baekhyun has both you and Kyungsoo to support him. Of course, me, Sehun... Junmyeon, Minseok as well. But you two are his little safe space. And I know that whatever the outcome of it will be, you two could help him get through it." He began explaining, sounding calm and reasonable.

Kyungsoo was in awe, but focused hard so he could continue listening carefully.   
"There is no avoiding it. Lying to him just won't do... It's better if he gets hurt now, and is able to get better thanks to everyone, than if we keep this hidden. Knowing that we lied to him will only hurt him a whole lot more in the future." Chanyeol's voice was calm and smooth. He was looking over at the hall as he spoke, and there was depth in his expression that Kyungsoo hasn't seen before.

The words he said, the way he said them. Chanyeol really knows so much about these sensitive issues of interacting with people, and friends. His intentions are always good, and he knows what he's saying. Kyungsoo wondered if he had been able to gain such depth due to something he had experienced himself, or maybe he is just able to understand how people feel well enough to create a solution to prevent further pain. Either way, Chanyeol definitely is amazing. Kyungsoo has little to no experience when it comes to understand how other people feel and think in social situations. While Chanyeol is always surrounded by people, so he must really know what he's talking about.

"I know at least, that just knowing that there are people around me who care and worry about me, people I can trust, I would already have known that I could face anything. Because they'd have my back." Chanyeol spoke again, sincere and gentle, there was hope in his voice now.   
"We should be his back bone now, right? He knows he can trust us. So let's not ruin it with lies... Let's just be there for him through it." Both Jongdae and Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol quietly for a long time. Kyungsoo felt his heart beating a little faster. Chanyeol is really... Such a good person.

This whole time Kyungsoo kept wondering what Chanyeol would have done to cheer Baekhyun up in this situation... But he learned that Chanyeol is wise enough and strong enough to hold onto his truth, and provide comfort through genuine honesty. Sometimes, not actually doing anything to solve a problem, but letting it happen, is exactly the way to solve it.

When a window is cracked, in order to fix it, one has to break it apart and place in a new piece of glass instead.

Maybe this is what the solution of this situation will be. Maybe in order to fix it, they first have to let it break. Kyungsoo would have never thought about such a thing. He'd stress out and panic about trying to keep Baekhyun safe from all pain. But... Sometimes the truth is painful. And to end the pain, one has to hurt, first.

Another side of Chanyeol had just been opened up in front of him. And Kyungsoo felt like his heart keeps dipping deeper and deeper into these feelings of love, with every new thing he learns about him. Chanyeol will never cease to surprise him. He always learns something new about him, and from him. No matter in what state, Chanyeol always has so much to give.

"So... About that accidental meetup..." Jongdae finally spoke after a period of silence. But the bell began ringing, and the three of them jumped in surprise before rushing to class as if any of this conversation hadn't happened. But it did happen. And now they have some sort of light in the end of the tunnel. Kyungsoo watched how Chanyeol sat down beside him and took his scarf off, folding it carefully and sliding it yet again into his blazer's inner pocket. Chanyeol is just so wonderful.  
They'll be able to reach a solution, and regardless of what the end of this will be, Kyungsoo, Jongdae, and everyone else will all be there for Baekhyun. Until then, Kyungsoo will have to be strong. Baekhyun is going to be the one suffering more than all of them. He's going to need to be there for him and fulfill his duty, as a friend. A real friend.

 

 

  
As the day ended, Jongdae and Kyungsoo headed over to Minseok's place together. Junmyeon was already there too. Kyungsoo noticed that there are new objects around the house as well. There are some more traditional looking decorations on the walls, the table with the duct taped leg now looked almost brand new, too. There's an empty suitcase in the hallway with a little sheep keychain connected to it.

The four of them settled down around the table in the living room with some more tea and cookies like his last visit.

"Alright. Let's begin. A little history lesson about our friend from the past, Zhang Yixing." Junmyeon said, placing his palm on the table.   
"It all began when I became a junior in highschool. You guys were still in middle school at that time. Yixing was my classmate. Minseok was then a sophomore, one year above us." He began.  
"I had already known you by then, Kyungsoo, since we went to the same middle school the years prior. And Yixing... He knew Chanyeol, and Baekhyun." Kyungsoo paid his utmost attention to the explanation to come.

"Actually, you might also recognize his face. Even though I doubt it, since he was in my grade of classes. And you weren't really... Involved with any other students back then." Junmyeon admitted a little apologetically, rubbing the back of his head.   
"Anyway, Yixing was supposed to start senior year with me, but then, he vanished." His expression looked more serious again.

"You could call it vanish, but he actually just had urgent matters to attend to back in China." Minseok then spoke.   
"He never told us what it is... Not in the letters he sent Junmyeon and me, and not even now that he's back." He sighed lightly.   
"But I know he wouldn't do such a thing without a reason." Jongdae nodded at Minseok's words.

"So far, this shouldn't be such a big issue... But... Things are more complicated. Because Yixing and Baekhyun... Ever since middle school... They were really close friends." Junmyeon looked down at the table now as he spoke.   
"I still remember, when we were new friends in junior year of highschool, Yixing kept talking to me excitedly about Baekhyun, who was still only a middle school sophomore at the time. He adored him. Yixing wouldn't do anything if it wasn't with Baekhyun. That's how I got to meet him too."   
"Even I remember that." Minseok added with a nod, to confirm.

"During our first highschool summer break before our sophomore year began, Baekhyun asked Yixing out. They dated through the summer, and were going steady through Yixing's second year of highschool." Junmyeon continued further. But then his energy suddenly turned gloomy as well and he stayed silent.

Minseok spoke instead.   
"Then, after I graduated, when Junmyeon and Yixing were supposed to become seniors and Baekhyun was supposed to enter highschool, Yixing hasn't showed up. Not to the entrance ceremony, not a week, not a month later. He hasn't answered any of our means to communicate with him. He just disappeared." Kyungsoo could feel the pain contained in the look of everybody's eyes.

He tried to remember how Baekhyun behaved at the time, at the beginning of highschool. He couldn't exactly recall any special signs of behaviour that he had shown. But then again, he only spoke with Baekhyun for the first time mere days before their junior year ended. And now they're just in the middle of their second year, and Baekhyun was always fine. Except for the random distant looks he has in his eyes from time to time.

So his assumptions were correct. The way Baekhyun was looking, like he's longing for somethin that's missing... The way he reacted and answered to Kyungsoo's question about a person he likes... All of these were about Zhang Yixing. Their friend from the past. Kyungsoo feels confused, sad, uncertain about it all. This is such a strange situation that nobody could have expected.

"Thank you, for telling me all this." He bowed to both Minseok and Junmyeon with gratitude. But everyone seemed to be deeply troubled. Just like himself, everyone else who's involved with either of the sides must be worried and sad. Fearing for things to get worse.

But Kyungsoo then remembered Chanyeol's deep words about the solution to solving the problem. If they won't let it break, it will never have the chance to heal.   
"Do you know where he's looking for a new place?" Jongdae then asked. It seems that both him and Kyungsoo were thinking about the same thing. Minseok shrugged helplessly.   
"No idea. But it couldn't possibly be that far, he told me it's only about a thirty minutes walk away from here."  
"Alright... That's good." Jongdae nodded to himself, gaining suspicious looks from both Minseok and Junmyeon.

"We... Might have a plan." Kyungsoo explained. Seeing the surprise on their faces, feeling the hope that suddenly filled the air as Jongdae and him began explaining about the plan they had discussed with Chanyeol at school, Kyungsoo felt like things really are about to get serious. Whether or not this plan will succeed depends only on Yixing and Baekhyun themselves. All the rest of them can do is be prepared to accept the resolution of whatever will happen between them.

They'll make them meet. They'll make them talk and confront each other and have the chance to solve it within themselves. That is the goal of the plan.

Steps were still missing in the actual step by step operation side of it, but as a whole, it looked like they were in for it. Which was perfect, exactly what Jongdae and Kyungsoo hoped to achieve but presenting them with the plan. It's a shame Chanyeol wasn't there as well, to explain the importance of this plan's goal. Kyungsoo found his heart still racing whenever he remembered the way he spoke about it.

Though time ran out quickly, and Kyungsoo was about to be sent back home. Already with his shoes on at the door, he thanked his friends truthfully for giving him the opportunity to be a part of this, and just as he'd turned around to open the door, it was unlocked from the other side, and opened shortly after.

A man slightly taller than them all stood at the door surprised. He was dressed casually, and held a business bag under his arm with a sheep keychain matching the one on the suitcase Kyungsoo saw in the hallway. He was quite handsome, too.

"Ahh, hello. It's a pleasure to meet you." The man quickly proceeded with manners.   
"My name is Zhang Yixing. I'm Minseok's current roommate for a few more days." He introduced himself with a deep bow and smiled at Kyungsoo warmly. His voice was soft and warm. He was so gentle and proper. Quite the opposite of what he'd imagine to be reckless noisy Baekhyun's partner.   
"A-Ah--- Nice to meet you. I'm Do Kyungsoo. I'm Ba--- Jongdae's classmate." Kyungsoo bowed back, nearly losing his soul when he realized the name he was about to mention before stopping himself.

"Wow! So you're Kyungsoo! The one who saved Tannie from getting soaked in the rain. Minseok told me about you." He grinned, his smile looked like a thousand flowers blooming altogether. Kyungsoo could very much understand why such a person would be someone that's impossible to stop liking. Everything about him is great.   
"I see you were just about to leave. That's a shame. I hope I'll get to see you again soon." Yixing calmly stepped aside and allowed Kyungsoo to step out first, before entering the house himself.  
"See you tomorrow Kyungsoo!" Jongdae called out to him and waved. And ksoo now really felt like he understood everything a whole lot better.

In the next few days, Kyungsoo felt like he was walking on egg shells. One wrong move, one little sway in his balance, and he'd end up falling and crashing them all. Was it better when he didn't know the depth of Baekhyun's pain? Or is it better now when he's able to be careful and not even accidentally mention anything that'll remind him of Yixing?

Even more oddly, Baekhyun was having what's called 'A blast from the past' where he started talking more and more about his past, and random memories from years back. Jongdae and Kyungsoo went along, of course. Kyungsoo shared how back in elementary school the nickname 'Doshio' began spreading. Jongdae shared how he once accidentally ate a piece of raw chicken. And Baekhyun talked about the choir in middle school.

One thing he said alarmed both Jongdae and Kyungsoo, though. At one point, Baekhyun mentioned how he really wants to let all of his memories go so he could start anew, but at the same time he wants to treasure them all, and go back in time just to change and fix them. He must know that something is about to happen... But not Jongdae nor Kyungsoo got dicouraged, and together with Chanyeol, they came up with the person plan.

The timing couldn't have been better, either, because they heard from Minseok that Yixing had found himself a new little apartment to rent on his own, only a short distance away from where Minseok lives. And that Yixing is going to move there in a week. So that's how long they have.

 

 

They deciced to call it 'Operation Morons'.

The goal of this operation is simple - get Baekhyun and Yixing to meet.

What's less simple is the 'how'. Not because it isn't easy to just call each of them separately and ask them to meet in a certain place. But because everyone involved in this operation are very much afraid of Baekhyun possibly hurting because of it.

Surprisingly, it was actually the younger ones who were bold enough to come up with such a plan, that in one way or another would definitely result in somebody getting hurt. But more specifically, it was because of Chanyeol. Thanks to his words back at school that day, both Jongdae and Kyungsoo could proceed with the planning of this operation stress free.

To plan it out, Minseok, Junmyeon, Jongdae, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Sehun all gathered in Jongdae's place. It's the most secure spot where there was no doubt Baekhyun wouldn't show up uninvited. Jongin was also there, but didn't do more than pass by the living room with different drinks and snacks to bring to his room.

Since there are two people at the goal of this mission, they had to split every step of the mission into two. Yixing's side, and Baekhyun's side. Both of them must not know that they are about to meet one another.

Step one - Take them out.   
Yixing, somwhere that will prompt thinking about Baekhyun, so that his mind will start preparing.   
Baekhyun, somewhere that will keep him cheerful and thoughts free.

Step two - Provide encouragements.   
Yixing, attempt to convince him that saying the truth and being honest about his feelings and thoughts is the best way to go.   
Baekhyun, give him proof that no matter what, he could trust his friends and allow himself to freely express what he's going through with them, regardless of whether its good or bad.

Step three - Preparation for the meetup.   
Yixing, make sure he's well hydrated and has his mind focused.   
Baekhyun, full belly equals happy Baekhyun.

Step four - Encounter.   
For them both, they have to make sure the two of them notice each other at the same time, in a space that's open enough to not make them feel caged, but closed enough to provide privacy.

These will be the main steps of their plan to make two worlds collide and hopefully, not create a bigger blacker hole inbetween them. Of course these are just the general outlines of the plan, but as they've sat down and discussed everything, they've come up with even the tiniest of details to make sure it goes smoothly. To each part they have a plan B in case something goes off trail, as well.

The date of the operation's proceeding: Today.   
The last day Yixing will be spending in Minseok's apartment before moving out to his new place the next morning. It would have been better if they could do it sooner, but it took a while to plan, and that was the only day available for all parties to participate.

And so, it began.

 

 

The night before the operation, Kyungsoo could barely sleep. He was worried about it failing, about giving it away accidentaly as the plan is still not over, about still being too much of an outsider to come of any use at any point. But he managed to still wake up on time and behave like normal at school to not raise any suspicion. They have already decided with Baekhyun ahead of time that they'll be meeting him out that afternoon, so once back home, all Kyungsoo had to do was change his outfit and go out again an hour later to meet up with his group of operation.

Along with him, Chanyeol and Sehun were also assigned to be with Baekhyun. While Minseok, Junmyeon and Jongdae would spend the time with Yixing. It makes a lot of sense, since they all know him a lot better and could guide his mind properly. While Chanyeol and Sehun with Baekhyun, are already a recipe for goof and happiness. Sehun was to be their spokesman and communication person with the other group via Junmyeon, in case anything pops up.

They all gathered outside of Baekhyun and Sehun's houses, and headed over to town, straight into the arcade. While at the same time, Yixing's group were supposed to take him to visit highschool again, just for nostalgia. Being in the arcade with the trio of big children felt to Kyungsoo like he's gone to do babysitting on some elementary school kids. They forgot about the world and lost themselves in the competetiveness of the colorful noisy games around.

"Hey Kyungsoo, join us for this one, it has exactly four players!" Chanyeol called out to him at one point, smiling and winking lightly to encourage him. Maybe he looked stressed or something, which is why Chanyeol asked him to join them, or maybe it's just because he thought it'd be fun, but either way Kyungsoo was happy and grateful to take a part of it as well.

It was a game placed in a strange dome covered puck field, where each of the four players is supposed to try and score into anyone else's goal. Honestly, he was sure he'd lose, but somehow Kyungsoo came up on top of the winners board in first place. Receiving quite the applause he was not expecting to get from three hyper kids who pretty much believe game is life.

He didn't need to say it out loud, but it was fun. It was actually so much fun that he had also very quickly lost himself in the world of games. It was his first time participating in an activity in an arcade. He had been to one before, but never with friends who actually wanted him to play with them. So it was a whole lot more exciting. Plus, the fact that he got to see another side of Chanyeol that he hasn't really gotten exposed to before, is always nice. His childish playful side is just as charming and adorable as the rest. Even when he pouts sourly about losing from time to time.

After a little more than an hour in the arcade, Sehun stood beside Kyungsoo and nudged his side lightly while the other two were busy in a combat video game. He showed his phone's screen to Kyungsoo. It was a message from Junmyeon saying that they're about to leave the school and reach their second destination for the day. Kyungsoo had almost forgotten about the plan for a while there, having so much fun with his friends made his own worries disappear.

"Ughh! That was so close! You gotta give it to me!" Chanyeol huffed out and pouted at Baekhyun after losing the third and final round. Baekhyun laughed in an exteremely satisfactory manner with hands on his hips.   
"You still lost though!" He teased back, before turning and grinning at Kyungsoo victoriously.

"Don't worry, you'll have next time." Sehun calmly pet Chanyeol's fallen sulking shoulders.  
"Look at how many coupons we've gathered!" Baekhyun called out, pulling an extremely long and twisted snake of arcade coupons attached to one another like a rope.   
"How do you use them?" Kyungsoo asked curiously, the four of them slowly headed towards a small station with a worker behind the counter at the corner of the arcade.   
"You can use them to exchange for random things right here." Baekhyun explained before slamming his impossibly large amount of coupons on the station's counter, grinning at the terrified looking worker.

"Any of you want something? Since this was gathered by all of us, we should probably share it." He said while in deep thought as he examined the display of possible prizes on the wall.

"This one." Sehun was the first to claim his prize, pointing directly at a very adorable looking plush doll of a bunny. Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun began laughing softly.   
"Really? This one?"   
"Yes. It reminds me of Junmyeon." Sehun replied with shy determination. Which shut the other two up into a river of 'Awws' instead. Kyungsoo felt his heart fill with warmth. That was... Really adorable. Sehun is so cute. It must have made Sehun extremely happy to receive that plush and make it sit in the pocket of his jeans, even if his expression remained neutral.

Kyungsoo then noticed Chanyeol was looking at him for quite a while, almost as if examining his appearance for some reason. Huh? Does he have anything on his face?   
"I'll take this one." Chanyeol then called out to the worker at the station, pointing at a similar plush to the one Sehun picked, except of a little penguin and not a bunny.   
"Really? You too? Why?" Baekhyun asked in confusion, Kyungsoo also was incredibly curious to know the answer.

When pcy got a hold of his little penguin plush, he turned to look at Kyungsoo again, but then averted his eyes while placing it in his bag.   
"It reminds me of... Someone, too." Whoa... Kyungsoo couldn't help but wonder who would have the honors of being so important to Chanyeol that he was thinking about them when seeing this adorable penguin. He wasn't sure, because of the dim colorful lights of the arcade, but he thought he saw Chanyeol's ears turn a little pink.

"Fine, I'll take that one then!" Baekhyun exclaimed with a pout, receiving a small plush of a soft looking sleepy sheep. Nobody questioned him. It seems that today all of them threw their interest in cool mechanical gadgets aside for the sake of the little adorable animals. Kyungsoo could get behind that.   
"What about you Kyungsoo? We have enough for another thing or two." Baekhyun pulled him a little closer to the counter so he could see the collection of prizes better.

What should he get...? There isn't anything he needs in particular that could be found here. Maybe along with the lines of having each of them purchase a plush, he'd do the same. They'll all be matching that way. Kyungsoo focused on the section of little animals on the wall, and was surprised to find the animal that caught his interest there.   
"C-Could I please have the giraffe?" He asked before his mind allowed him to think of anything else. Ahh, this is very embarrassing. If he gave Chanyeol a scarf with the embroidment of a giraffe, wouldn't it provide a clue as to why he decided to get the giraffe plush now? But it was too late to change his mind anyway, because it was already placed in his hands.

"Perfect! We got to use all of the tickets!" Baekhyun smiled as they began making their way back outside. They all had to squint a little when leaving the arcade's darkness back outdoors to the setting sun. Luckily, it seems Chanyeol hadn't really thought anything about the plush Kyungsoo had chosen to take in exchange for the coupons. That's their own little thing. The giraffe on Chanyeol's scarf, now the giraffe that's going to be resting on Kyungsoo's bed in his room. Though he still couldn't stop thinking about who the person representing a penguin could be.

"Let's get something to eat, I'm hungry." Sehun said as they've walked a bit through the town's main business street.   
"Right, I feel like getting some noodles..." Baekhyun hummed, looking like he's about to drool just from the thought.   
"Aren't you a little too obsessed with noodles lately?" Chanyeol asked him teasingly. It isn't wrong though, he's been going to Sehun's family noodle place a lot.   
"How about you keep your eyes on your own plate." Baekhyun bit back with a pout, and the two began bantering lightly. Sehun meanwhile, without saying a word, managed to lead them into one of the little side streets. One end opens up to the main street, and the other end turn into a path that goes to the town's park. The one their class had their summer fear trials at the end of last year.

"Ohh, this place looks nice. It has all sorts of food." Kyungsoo said out loud after getting Sehun's glance to confirm that this is indeed the place they were supposed to go into for the plan. Right, 'Operation Morons'. Kyungsoo hoped he wouldn't forget that all of this is a part of it again. He's having so much fun just spending time with everyone that it just slips out of his mind from time to time. Good thing Sehun was there to remind him.

Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol stopped their bickering when they heard Kyungsoo, and after scanning the place's menu next to the door with their eyes, they both agreed to go for it, and stepped inside.

The restaurant was small and homey, and since it's located right in the corner of the little street, a part of its big window was turned towards the main street. They got to sit right next to it, too. Sehun by the window, Baekhyun beside him, then Kyungsoo by the window, and Chanyeol beside him. That way Kyungsoo was facing Sehun, and Chanyeol was facing Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo felt his heart racing a little when he realize Chanyeol decided to sit right next to him. It reminded him of the day he moved to sit beside him in class, except now it was way closer, way more intimate. Kyungsoo could feel Chanyeol's body heat, he could smell the scent of his perfume and clean clothes, he could feel the way the outside of their thighs lightly grazed against one another under the table from time to time.

Just like always, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were providing them all with more new conversation topics. Kyungsoo couldn't make full eye contact with Chanyeol beside him. The most he could do was glance at him from time to time just to admire the view of his existence, then shyly turn away moments later.

But while they all set their orders to the nice waitress and waited for their food, Kyungsoo started worrying about the plan. They've had such a wonderful day together, Baekhyun looked so happy and cheerful, do they really have to possibly ruin it all once the final step of the plan comes into existence? This isn't about what Kyungsoo himself is feeling. It's because Baekhyun just seems to be so good right now, and he starts regretting wanting it to change to anything else at all. Baekhyun deserves all the happiness, who are they to take it from him with their plan?

The food arrived, the skies turned darker quickly once the sun was no longer in the horizon, and somehow, Sehun and Baekhyun got into a conversation about games between themselves.  
"Hey, Kyungsoo." he heard pcy call him quietly over the Background music in the place.   
"It's fine. Don't stress about it." He said, making eye contact with Kyungsoo and nodding at him reassuringly.   
"We're all here for him. Remember?" Chanyeol smiled, his dimple showing its presence, making Kyungsoo's heart both speed up but also calm down.  
Really, how can one smile turn Kyungsoo's entire world upsidedown like this? He nodded lightly, then watched in surprise as Chanyeol stole a bite off of his plate and grinned playfully.

Chanyeol's really been working hard today. While ksoo had fun he kept forgetting that 'Operation Morons' was going on at all, but Chanyeol seems to have been aware of it all this time, and he was still able to act as if nothing was happening. He's amazing. Kyungsoo will trust his words. He would trust Chanyeol with anything, really. So he exhaled slowly and let himself regain his relaxation.

It didn't last for too long, however, because Kyungsoo noticed that there was a bunch of young adults who started gathering right in the middle of the little side street. Uh oh. That's not good. The plan depends on the fact that this side street is normally entirely empty. How is the plan supposed to continue on if there's a bunch of people around? Baekhyun and Yixing will never be able to talk honestly if they don't have the privacy to do so. It seems he wasn't the only one who noticed it, because Sehun also followed the gathering of the people with his eyes through the restaurant's windows.

They probably don't have a long time until the other half of the operation arrives to the right position. Really, they've thought about a second option for every part of the plan, except the last. The fact that the street would be empty was supposed to be the single unchanging aspect of this operation. And now they're pretty much doomed. They should bail. They should drop it, and do it again on another time. It wouldn't work.

 

 

"I'll be back in a moment, promised I'd call Junmyeon." Sehun suddenly said, breaking Kyungsoo's internal little panic session.   
"Ooh~ So reliable." Baekhyun teased as Sehun stood up and left their table, stepping outside the restaurant and really calling Junmyeon. Kyungsoo could see it through the window. They're going to cancel it all, right? Even if Yixing's group arrives from the park, this group of people would not allow the plan to take place. Baekhyun and Chanyeol meanwhile commenced in their conversation, and Kyungsoo remained staring out the window.

Is that...? Kyungsoo noticed someone familiar walking by. As the figure got closer to their spot, he realized the person walking was no other than Jongin. Surprisingly, it seemed that Jongin recognized him from the window, and when he noticed Sehun standing outside on his phone, and the group of people in the street, he paused and looked for a while. Ah... Maybe they should have told him about the plan. He would have known what to do.

Then, the unexpected happened, Kyungsoo couldn't believe his eyes, but Jongin just walked straight towards the group of intimidating looking people, grabbed the bag of one of them, hit their head, and began sprinting away back towards the main street. Less than a second later, the entire gang started running after him and shouting loudly. It made such a commotion that even Baekhyun and Chanyeol had to turn around and look.   
"Was that... Jongin?" Chanyeol asked in confusion. How... How did he know? Could it be that he somehow still heard them create the plan? There's no way he would do such a thing on accident.

It seems that Sehun was also quite shocked from Jongin's initiative, he finished the call with Junmyeon shortly after, and when he got back inside, he gave Kyungsoo and Chanyeol both a small nod behind Baekhyun's back. So the operation is still in tact. All thanks to Jongin's sacrifice. Kyungsoo really hoped that he's safe. That group of people didn't look especially sympathetic. He'll have to tell Jongdae about his brother's brave assistance.

The four of them finished their food and wrapped up the meal cheerfully, splitting the pay between them equally until Chanyeol won the debate and was able to leave the tip out of his own funds alone. Kyungsoo's heart was starting to race from the stress.   
As they will step outside of this restaurant, the final and most crucial part will begin. And he's scared. He's scared that they would hurt Baekhyun by tricking him into this plan. He's scared the Baekhyun would be hurt from whatever will happen when he'll be met with Yixing... He's just scared.

But as they made their first steps outide the place, Chanyeol's arm landed on his shoulder. It was warm, and thick, and comfortable around his shoulders. Chanyeol was also bracing himself for what's to come. His expression is focused and serious. Sehun too, had extra sharpness added to his face when they heard their friends' familiar voices approach from the park's side of the little street.

Kyungsoo could hear his heart beating in his ears. He's so scared. He's so worried. They made this happen. They will have to take responsibility for the consequences.

 

 

It felt like everything was going in slowmotion, when Baekhyun turned his head and caught the image of Yixing in his sight. Both groups froze in their spots. The two main characters of this operation also, were standing in shock. Kyungsoo couldn't see Baekhyun's face, but from Yixing's display of chaos flowing through his mind, he could tell Baekhyun's face was probably not in his favour.

These were only a few seconds, but it felt like hours of silence until Yixing stepped forward.  
"Baekhyun...?" Kyungsoo could see Baekhyun's body tense in an instant, before he began striding in Yixing's direction. Large stomps on the ground, combined with tightly clenched fists. He made it to Yixing's spot quickly, and grabbed him by the collar, only to throw him backwards hard and harsh.

Everybody stood there stunned. It was almost like a volcano had just erupted in the middle of the street, a volcano named Baekhyun. Luckily, Yixing didn't fall down, and managed to balance himself on his feet.

"W-Wait... I know---"  
"What. The. Fuck. What the fuck are you doing here?! Huh?!" Baekhyun's voice was hoarse, his body was not prepared to raise the volume so much, and he was clearly stretching his voice cords painfully to speak like that.   
"How fucking dare you come here and show your face like this?!" In the cold of the early dark evening, it looked like Baekhyun's body and breath were steaming with heat and anger. Compared to that, Yixing just stood there quietly, and looked at him with fearful silence.

"You thought you could come back and become friends with everyone again after what you've done? You think you would be instantly forgiven just because of your pretty fucking face and your stupid ass innocence?!" Kyungsoo was still scared. Minseok, Junmyeon and Jongdae already stepped back. Everyone were watching them in silence, every breath they took could be heard in the crisp chill.   
"You've been gone for a whole damn year?! What the hell?! You just vanished!! Poof!" Baekhyun angrily gestured a motion of explosion with his hands before clenching his fists again.  
"If you thought for a second that everything would just freeze and wait for your return exactly the way it was, then you're wrong. Very, very wrong."

Chanyeol's arm tightened over Kyungsoo's shoulder, and when he looked up, he could see how concerned Chanyeol looked. He must be scared, too.   
"You left us, Yixing. You left ME. And it hurt! I was so scared?! One day we were laughing together, having the time of our lives, and the very next, you were gone. You know how much that shit hurts? You know how afraid I was, that it was something I did? Something I said? Maybe even something I didn't do." Baekhyun's voice was filled with just as much anger, but Kyungsoo could see the tears that began running down his cheeks shimmer under the street light.

"You're a selfish prick, and for a whole year I tried so hard to convince myself that it wasn't my fault. You could have done something. Anything. To let me know what was going on. Even if it was a shitty letter sent in the mail, I'd take it. If only you just told me." He huffed, his body now shaking, and Yixing in front of him stood there and took everything. His expression was serious, and pained, but he absorbed it all from Baekhyun anyway.

"If you wanted this to end, there were better ways than to leave unnnounced for a whole fucking year." He huffed.   
"Fine, you're right, " Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair and turned to stand sideways. "I would have probably given you hell because I wouldn't have wanted to let you go. To let us, what he had, end." He admitted, sniffing through his overflowing tears.

"But it's fucking infuriating. I'm so damn angry right now! I feel like I want to just, punch you the fuck off this planet." He gritted his teeth and stepped closer to Yixing again, grabbing onto his collar tightly and staring at him shakingly. Kyungsoo already imagined how his arm will extend and blow right into Yixing's face.

But unexpectedly, Baekhyun just exhaled a trembling breath before letting go of the collar and stepping back again.   
"How the fuck did you manage to disappear like that... Nobody knew anything." Yixing didn't even move to fix his own collar. Slowly, Baekhyun's levels of anger have lowered. The volcano eruption had now turned into a calm flow of lava.   
"Aren't you gointg to say anything?" His voice sounded hoarse, and tired. Tears kept dripping down his cheeks.

"My...---" Yixing said, his voice swallowed into his mouth, so he cleared his throat and began again. "My grandparents... You remember I told you about them... Right?" he asked cautiously, getting no answer from Baekhyun.   
"Near the end of my highschool sophomore year, they started sending me letters of their health slowly deteriorating. The final letter came at the last day we spent together."

Yixing spoke out of humility and carefulness.   
"In it, my grandmother explained that my grandfather's condition has come to a scary dire state. She pleaded me to return and help, my own grandmother, had to beg---..." There was a lump in his throat. This is the story nobody has heard before. This is the whole truth behind Yixing's disappearance. He exhaled slowly for a moment before looking at Baekhyun again.

"It was too urgent to debate. In my rush I had barely packed any of my belongings. I didn't have the time to prepare a phone service to contact you, there was no internet either." Yixing explained, sounding upset, but not at anyone else, rather at himself.   
"From the moment I arrived I had to work. I took care of them both all while juggling between three different jobs. I gave up my senior highschool year..." That sounded so rough. Kyungsoo's heart twisted in his chest.

"I also... Fell ill for a while there, because of exhaustion. I came there to save them and help--- And yet--- I became even more of a burden---..." Yixing choked on his words, he was shaking and looking down, probably trying his hardest to hold back his own tears, while Baekhyun's own tears kept streaming silently. He huffed out and then inhaled slowly to balance himself again.

"They're safe now... And I would have done it again, if it means knowing that they are safe." He admitted harshly and honestly.   
"However... None of this was any excuse for me to not say a word, I now understand. Through it all, I was sure I was protecting you from pain, by staying away and taking care of it without exposing you to the hardships of the situation. But... Now when I see you--- Again-..." He had to pause to breathe again due to another lump in his throat.

"Now when I see what I've done---... The pain you had to suffer... I learn that I was wrong. I did what I had to do, but I had made a mistake with you. And I---... I terribly regret making this decision, now that I know it hurt you this much." Yixing shut his eyes while looking down. He looked defeated, he looked like there is nothing but pain, sadness and regret filling his entire being. He then surprised everyone by falling down to his knees, and bowing in front of Baekhyun's feet, right there on the ground, right for them all to see. Kyungsoo jumped a little in surprise. In chinese tradition, bowing while on the ground is considered an honor made solely towards royalty status or more.

Yixing just stripped himself off of his own being, off of his own pride and respect, he was completely bare in front of Baekhyun.   
"I deeply apologize, Baekhyun. I sincerely accept any form of action you'd decide to take. Anything but forgiveness would do. Even if you decide to never see me again, I'd guarentee it to you." He said, trying to sound honorable, but he just sounded like he's about to burst in tears.

"... The reason I was so angry, damnit, I'm still angry," Baekhyun spoke, sniffing once more before crouching down to the ground as well. Yixing has risen up from the deep bow, and was now sitting on his knees and looking at Baekhyun again, both of them were at eye level.   
"Is because I was just... So lonely. And scared." Baekhyun's voice still had a hint of anger in it, but it was mostly sadness speaking now between the tears.

"I felt so stupid. Like I've been used and abandoned. I was such an idiot. Because even when it hurt so fucking bad to just think about you, remembering your face--- I still couldn't get you out of my head." He admitted shakingly. For a while it was quiet, but then Yixing nodded at Baekhyun, and urged him to continue.

Surprisingly, Baekhyun obliged, and kept going on for a long time more about all sorts of things that had hurt him through all this time. Even things that had nothing to do with Yixing's own actions. He told him about the how angry and sad he was about the spreading rumours, he told him about a fight he had with his mom, he told him about how annoying and frustrating exams in highschool are, And Yixing kept nodding, kept making him continue. He was being so gentle and careful, accepting every word that Baekhyun cried out wholly.

At that point, Kyungsoo suddenly realized something. Yixing... He... He's helping Baekhyun right now. He's allowing him to express everything, relieve all of his stress by venting and complaining towards him like that. Yixing was being so selfless, even in a situation like that, he became something that would provide for Baekhyun's needs, rather than care about himself. It didn't change the fact, however, that Kyungsoo's heart was aching terribly at the amount of pain that kept pouring out of Baekhyun. Pain that he kept dealing with all on his own, thinking that just like Yixing had left him, if he'd do something or say something wrong, everyone else would leave him too.

He whined, and cried, and shouted, he complained and sniffed and groaned. And then he didn't anymore.

He was done. He released it all, dropped every single one of the pain stones he had gathered through this whole year on Yixing, who allowed all of the weight to get absorbed inside of his own pain. And now it was quiet. The street was silent except for maybe a single bug buzzing near the light. Baekhyun's tears have finally stopped. Only a few wet drops were gripping to his cheeks.

Baekhyun then slowly rose back to stand on his feet. Yixing followed right after, looking at him. Kyungsoo could feel the urge in Yixing's body to reach out and wipe Baekhyun's tears away. But he didn't. He contained himself like a statue. Like a disciplined soldier.   
"I know you said you don't want forgiveness. But if you do, then there's one thing you must do." Baekhyun said, sounding assured and confident after sniffling, he even crossed his arms.

Although Yixing didn't say anything, it was easy to tell that he was curious. He wanted to know. Clearly contradicting his own words from before. But it didn't matter, because it was obvious that he wanted that from the beginning.   
"Never vanish like that again." Baekhyun set his rule, and it left not only Yixing, but everyone else around too, confused.

Then, against everybody's expectations, Baekhyun rasied his hand and gently stroked Yixing's cheek, before lowering it to his shoulder and stepping close. He lowered his head, and allowed his forehead to fall against Yixing's shoulder lightly.   
"Talk to me. Tell me everything. We could solve everything as long as you let me be there with you. Nobody has to get hurt like this again." He said quietly, huffing out. "Promise me."

Yixing's hand was shaking pretty hard as he raised it to gently hold around Baekhyun, but after a moment of silence, all of his attempts to hold back the tears broke down, and he began sobbing painfully himself. He buried his face into Baekhyun, and cried. Grabbing around Baekhyun tightly, yet with so much affection and grace, that it seemed like he was holding the greatest treasure on earth. To him, Kyungsoo knew, that Baekhyun truly was, the greatest treasure on earth.

And that was it. The outcome of 'Operation Morons'. Kyungsoo's cheeks have already been dripping with tears for a while, and he felt so many strong emotions swirling all over inside his heart and mind. He couldn't think of anything but the amount of kindness, acceptance, and love, that Baekhyun and Yixing must have taught each other over their many years together, in order to be able to come to this conclusion after they've both been hurting for so long.

Junmyeon was the first to approach the two of them, with a wet smile of relief, he wrapped his arms around them in a gentle hug while stroking their backs. Behind him Jongdae and Minseok both were laughing lightly at each other's crying faces, before gently wiping one another's tears away and pressing their heads together with a shared sigh. A huge burden has been lifted from the two of them, who were technically the center of this entire event happening as a whole. Even Sehun slowly approached closer and sniffed into his sleeve as he rubbed a hand over crying Yixing's back.

A wet sniffle came from beside Kyungsoo, however, and when he turned to look up at Chanyeol, he found that he was crying silently to himself. Wiping his never ending tears again and again with his sleeve. His other arm, still holding tight and secure around Kyungsoo's shoulders. Chanyeol as well, must have been hoping for the two to solve this conflict between them for so long. He's so patient and ambitious.

Although it wasn't even his own pain, he cried this hard because he felt so strongly for other people's sake. Kyungsoo learned that Chanyeol has a beautiful, sensitive soul. And that he loves him even more than he did before.

Just like Chanyeol said, there will be hurt, and there will be healing. And now, all of them could use some of that healing.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

 

After 'Operation Morons' had ended, at least on the way back home, nobody could say anything. Baekhyun and Yixing walked behind the herd, right beside each other, but they haven't said a word either. They didn't even look at each other from what Kyungsoo could tell. The silence they all shared was anything but awkward, though. It felt like the calm that comes after the storm, like the earth had been stripped of the old and regrew the new thanks to that.

"Hey hon~" his father's voice came from the living room after Kyungsoo got home safely.   
"Did you have fun at the... Arcade you said you went?" He asked cheerfully, getting up and approaching Kyungsoo to give him a gentle hug.   
"It was a lot of fun. Everything went well and nobody got injured." Kyungsoo hugged him back.  
"We got to eat at that one restaurant you told me about, as well." They both shared a smile. And after a few more minutes of a pleasant chat, Kyungsoo began preparing for bed. Right before falling asleep, he remembered the exchange of tickets he had made in the arcade, and quickly pulled the giraffe plush out of his bag, sitting it down right next to his pillow.

The fact that Chanyeol has the giraffe scarf and Kyungsoo has this giraffe plush means that they actually own matching items, right? It made Kyungsoo feel excited, yet calm and happy at the same time.

Chanyeol was so wonderful. He's senstimental and soft along with wise and talented. Starting with his words, the plan, the way he acted so naturally while always being aware, and the tears he had shed for Baekhyun and Yixing's sake. His heart is large and accepting, and Kyungsoo isn't sure if he wants to be in his heart, or learn how to have just as big of a heart himself.

The weekend had passed, and Christmas is knocking on their doors, which means new years celebrations will come right behind, and their short winter vacation will be taking place soon. It's so strange how fast time runs. Kyungsoo can't believe how quickly they've come to cross the half mark of sophomore year. Which is, so far, the best, most exciting and happiest school year of his life.

The weekend had given ksoo enough time to clear his head from the excess of worries and emotions related to 'Operation Morons' that were still left in his mind. So when he arrived at school everything felt fresh and neat, instead of stressful and worrisome.

Up the stairs and towards the class he went, but in the hallway he spotted a bunch of students talking. One of them being Jongin. He was smiling and laughing with his friends. Forget about the no worries, whenever he sees Jongin he can't help but remember the amount of pain he felt when learning about the situation between Jongdae and him. It must be like a dark scary cloud that constantly floats above Jongin's head.

He peacefully prepared to cross the group and enter his class, but right before turning, he noticed something odd about Jongin's usually flawless handsome face. There was a bruise located right on the side of his jaw. It's red and purple, looking a little bloated too, and definitely unpleasantly hurtful. Kyungsoo just stood there and stared for a while, until Jongin seemed to have noticed him, and smiled warmly while waving at him. "Morning, Kyungsoo." His voice is always so lovely, there's something very unique about Jongin as a whole. No wonder he pairs up with Chanyeol's slot as the school's most beloved most handsome guys.

Kyungsoo waved back lightly, a little taken aback by the way the people surrounding Jongin stared at him in confusion. He can't blame them, why would someone like Jongin have any connection with anyone like Kyungsoo? Or even look at him at all? Either way, Kyungsoo had made it to class and sat down at his table.

Then it finally hit him.

The bruise... On Jongin's face... That must have happened that night, right? The night when 'Operation Morons' took place and he managed to save the whole project by sacrificing his own safety for their sake. That group of people he made run after him didn't look like they'd let him go without a mark to begin with... And it seems that they indeed have left their mark on him.

Kyungsoo's heart trembled at Jongin's act of stupid bravery, and he remembered how he wanted to tell Jongdae about his brother's heroism. But stronger than his wish to tell Jongdae the truth, was his fear of causing Jongdae any discomfort by mentioning Jongin's name in front of him at all. He already knows how delicate the situation between them is. He will have to find another time, in the future, hopefully when things get better between them, if they will.

"Gooood morning~!" Kyungsoo jumped in surprise when Baekhyun's loud greeting came from beside him. He was so deep into thinking about Jongin and Jongdae that he hadn't even seen him enter the classroom at all. But even from this first glance at his friend, Kyungsoo could tell Baekhyun's heart was finally at total ease.

He looked like he was glowing with happiness, and that brought a warm smile across his lips already.   
"Good morning, Baekhyun. How are you doing?"   
"I am... Fantastic! Haven't felt this great in a while! Like I could do anything! Even a surprise quiz in today's math!" Baekhyun grinned widely, sitting backwards on the chair of his seat and gesturing around with his arms as he spoke.   
"O-Okay, maybe not a surprise quiz in math, but you get me." He looked troubled for a moment before smiling again, evoking a short laughter out of Kyungsoo. His high energies were really contagious.

Though Kyungsoo truly was happy. He could not only see, but also feel just how much weight and burden have been lifted off of Baekhyun's shoulders after the plan had successfully come to an end. An ending not even the most optimistic of the group could have expected. Kyungsoo doesn't regret any of it. It's a little bit of a hypocritical thing to say now, that he knows the plan had resulted in such a good outcome. Especially since he was probably the first of them all to constantly wish to cancel the plan through that day.

But going until the end and allowing these two to collide had really taught him a lot. About them, about their group of friends, and mostly, about himself. Kyungsoo had gained another layer of confidence through this experience. The reassurance that the end result of a decision he makes may not be as good as how the operation ended, will be able to heal thanks to the people around him. Whatever decision he makes, he will have to handle it and be responsible for it. Just like Chanyeol said. Even if it wouldn't be his own decision to make, he will be able to provide support to those who do have to conquer the consequences. Or at least, he could try.

"Morning! Whoa, you seem happy first thing in the morning." Jongdae sat in the seat in front of Kyungsoo and turned sideways to face Baekhyun with a smile.   
"Kinda cool, huh?" Baekhyun grinned back.   
"Maybe even cooler if you wouldn't be so loud." Jongdae teased him, and Baekhyun blinked surprised.   
"OH YOU MEAN THIS LOUD?" He shouted even louder, causing the two of them to begin jokingly fighting and teasing each other cheerfully. Ah... Kyungsoo adores their deep connection so much. They're really wonderful, like they both play on the same transmissions.

"What are these two being so loud for?" Chanyeol had popped into his seat beside Kyungsoo, smiling at their direction as he shot Kyungsoo the question. He gently pulled the scarf off his neck and folded it carefully into his inner pocket. Kyungsoo will never get tired of watching him do that. He treats the birthday gift Kyungsoo gave him with so much respect.   
"It's because Baekhyun is happy."   
"Yeah. He better be." Chanyeol chuckled lightly and leaned back in his chair. Sehun quietly passed behind them and sat down as well.

Just like that, surrounded by his close friends, who are now all in the thrill of happiness after the resolution between Baekhyun and Yixing, Kyungsoo was truly happy.

 

 

The day couldn't have remained as happy as Kyungsoo thought it would be. In the afternoon, his mother tasked him with shopping for a few little things from town. Nothing urgent or important for the short term. He made it through the shopping list quickly, and had already began making it back home, when he saw Jongin standing on the other side of the road on his phone.

He would have called him to say hello, but Jongin yet again managed to look like he's in the middle of a supermodel magazine photoshoot of some sort. Simply by standing there and existing. The bruise on his jaw was pretty noticeable, but it still didn't decrease not even a degree in his beauty. Kyungsoo can't possibly interrupt that, so he kept walking ahead.

Less than a second after removing his eyes from Jongin, however, a very loud sound of a truck's engine, horn, and brakes shot right through his ears from behind... Right where Jongin stood. And before he managed to turn around and see what happened, an unnaturally rolling body of a person slid across the road.

Kyungsoo felt a cold sharp shiver run up his spine, his heart sunk down to his feet, and his brain took a few seconds to register what he had just seen. At the end of these seconds, Kyungsoo's eyes widened in shock. The person lying on the road was no other than Jongin.

By the time he approached him, another person on the street had already called the police, and an ambulance. In cold shock, Kyungsoo kneeled down beside Jongin and repeatedly called out his name again and again. There was no response... But With careful observation he detected that he's still breathing. A few people around had asked Kyungsoo if he knows him, and by the time the ambulance had arrived, Kyungsoo and his little shopping bag were also brought onto the ambulance.

Jongin was put under care at the moment they arrived at the hospital, and Kyungsoo could only do as much as tell the nurse the details he knows about Jongin, then sit and wait right outside of the room in which he's being taken care of.

Other patients with other levels of recovery stages from other accidents kept passing by. Some were as good as a simple broken arm, and some were as bad as being unable to roll themselves without help on the wheelchair. This definitely didn't help Kyungsoo's stress levels. He shuddered at the thought of Jongin possibly becoming one of the recovery patients who cannot do anything on their own. They must feel so helpless. Other than that, being the only person who knows of Jongin's current condition is also quite a stressful position. He doesn't know anybody's phone numbers, not even Jongin's parents names. He's the only one there for him, and it was a responsibility he was definitely not prepared to handle at such an unexpected circumstance.

An hour passed, then another hour, all while Kyungsoo spent the time sitting and building up the pressure and stress inside his head by thinking of all worse possibilities of results for Jongin. A few of the patients, and even hospital staff around him began giving him looks of fear and surprise when passing by. His aura must be awful... He knew he must have been looking like an actual horror movie character, sitting there silently in aumost buzzed stress and worry. 'Doshio' had made an appearance.

But luckily, minutes after the two hour mark had passed, a nurse came over to Kyungsoo with a small worried smile. She said Jongin will be transported to a private recovery room according to his wishes. And that he's safe, and no longer in any physical health danger. Kyungsoo felt so relieved he wasn't even able to speak at all. He simply nodded at the nurse enthusiastically. Then he finally took his first toilet break, and made it up to the room in which Jongin will be staying.

He knocked before entering, and a doctor who had just examined Jongin allowed Kyungsoo inside. Jongin was already starting to wake up again. He was breathing on his own, and attached only to very few machines, as compared to some of the other patients Kyungsoo had seen walking around with a mobile version of them. Jongin was a little confused at first, he was quite surprised to see Kyungsoo there, and even more surprised from looking at his own condition. After Kyungsoo had to tell him what had happened to him, Jongin just rested his head backwards and sighed out loud. Kyungsoo was just glad that he was able to sigh like this at all. He had also already helped Jongin contact his parents.

"Not that it can be seen as much... At your current condition... But I saw that you had a bruise on your jaw this morning. Did it happen because of...?" Kyungsoo began asking after they've spoken for a while. He knew he wasn't much, but Jongin seemed to be extremely thankful to have company. And Kyungsoo was willing to provide just that until he was no longer needed.

"Yeah. It's from the people who were in the street..." Jongin confirmed.   
"I had a feeling that's the case. Thank you for the sacrifice you gave for their sake back there. Nothing would have worked out if they stayed... You really saved us." Kyungsoo bowed his head with gratitude.   
"Don't mention it, Baekhyun's my friend as well. Even if you probably wouldn't have known that at school." Jongin said with a sad tone.   
"How... How did you know that we were there? Did you know about the plan?"   
"I knew. I was home too when all of you were there... I wanted to help too, but I knew Jongdae would have gotten angry. So I sat by the stairs and learned the plan from listening instead." Jongin admitted quietly.

Kyungsoo's heart fluttered in his chest. Jongin is so... Soft. And gentle. He's so careful and selfless, even though at school his impression is exactly the opposite of these thins, in reality he's actually golden hearted and humble. Jongin actually sat and listened to them work on the plan in order to help from afar, because he wanted to make sure that Jongdae's alreay stressful condition from the situation wouldn't have worsened by having him around... He's really sefless and kind.

Once they've streered into the subject of Jongdae, it seems that Jongin's spirit had shifted a little. He suddenly looked smaller, way, way smaller than his usual vibrant, large, attention grabbing being. He looked sad, lonely, and scared.  
Jongin said that he actually really adores Jongdae. That he admires him as a role model and an example of strength. He actually always seeks Jongdae's attention in one way or another, because he really wants to make things good between them again.

Kyungsoo learned that Jongdae is an extremely precious person in Jongin's life, and that he's not willing to let go. He also already knew that deep down, Jongdae does care about Jongin as well. After the time they all took care of Jongin and his room, there were many signs leading to the fact that both Jongdae and Jongin really want to be fine with each other, but outer reasons on the surface keep tearing them apart.

Jongin sounded extremely sad when he mentioned that he knows getting back to the good connections with Jongdae is a selfish request. Since Jongin's very own existence must be something that causes Jongdae a certain amount of pain, considering their situation. But he wished they could put this burdensome pain behind them and start again. There's so much he wants to tell Jongdae, and so much he wants to hear Jongdae tell, too.

They were so good before. Before the truth was revealed and they knew what was really going on. The two of them were invincible together. They loved each other so much, and were so attached and close to one another. All of their childhood secrets are still hidden in each other's hearts. Jongin said that he really hates the fact that he knows a big part of what caused this problem are his parents and the way they handles the situation. He will never forgive them for the way they began treating Jongdae differently just because he got upset about it. It's not Jongdae's fault... He was a child. How else was he supposed to react if not get upset?

Jongin still loves Jongdae so much, but he's also really scared that Jongdae doesn't... Jongdae is his brother. Even if it's only half of a blood connection, even if there was no blood connection at all. Nothing could change that.

Before highschool began, Jongin recalled how Jongdae told him that he would rather not have a brother at all. And that if Jongin will give away even a hint of them being connected in any way, Jongdae will never talk with him again. He was so shocked, and the thought of losing absolutely everything he had with Jongdae was so scary, that he accepted it. Like a fool. And now he fears that it might be too late to restore anything that is still left.

Kyungsoo's heart was beating with sadness as he realized that he as well, couldn't tell that there was any connection going on between the two of them at all. Not until Jongdae had told him about it. Kyungsoo of course, didn't mention the fact that he knew all of the details already to Jongin, because it's not his place to expose even further how Jongdae feels about it all. Now even the little bit of interaction they could have had at school will be gone with Jongin's recovery required absence.

Jongin didn't really expect any reaction out of Kyungsoo, so seeing that he had wiped a single tear away from the corner of his eye made him chuckle apologetically.   
"Sorry, I didn't mean to vent like this... I just... Miss him. I guess." He said quietly. And Kyungsoo quickly shook his head and very gently stroked Jongin's back of the palm that was free of bandages.   
"No, no, I'm glad. It must have hurt you a lot all this time." Kyungsoo reassured him warmly.  
"Hah... It's funny. I'm in the hospital right now, broken bones, broken... Whatever that is wrong with me. But the pain doesn't even compare to what it feels like to be in this state of connection with Jongdae." Jongin admitted in a sad smile, and Kyungsoo could only nod sympathetically.

The subject had eventually changed, and at some point Jongin's father had also entered the room. He thanked Kyungsoo for what he had done for Jongin with gratitude, and ordered him a taxi to get back home safely, since it was already dark outside.

Kyungsoo felt an overwhelming wave of loneliness wash over him. All this time he had thought that Jongdae was the one dealing with the majority of the pain. But Jongin... Jongin is dealing with just as much misery. How could anybody live their lives, thinking that their very existence is the reason someone precious to them is in pain? No wonder Jongin's room was in that state of oceany garbage. He simply... He just doesn't bother doing anything for himself at all. To him... None of it even matters.

Jongin lives every day thinking that he is the reason Jongdae doesn't come home anymore. Thinking that if he dares to say a word or show his love for his very own brother, he'd lose everything he already had with him forever. It's so cruel... None of it is Jongin's fault... None of it is Jongdae's fault either... And yet the two of them are living in a hell of pain that neither of them are able to change. One out of stubborn anger, and the other out of fear.

Kyungsoo thought about how much he wanted to tell Jongdae about Jongin's deed during 'Operation Morons'. He wanted to tell him about Jongin's love, admiration, and affection towards him. He wanted to make him understand that there is no reason to hold onto the pain just because of the adults who did him wrong and made him feel like an alien in his own home. It wasn't Jongin's fault...

But he can't. Kyungsoo knew that he can't. It's none of his business to solve the family issues of anybody else. Even if that somebody is one of the most important people he's had in his life. With the memory of Chanyeol's wise words in his mind, Kyungsoo decided that instead of falling down into stress and worry, he will do his best to become a strong reliable person they could depend on. That even in case things begin falling apart, he could be there and hold them back together.

If Baekhyun and Yixing's situation was a cracked window glass that needed to be broken in order to be replaced, then Jongdae and Jongin's situation is more like a whole wall is being built up, a little stone gets added every day. The both of them can barely see each other anynore from both sides of the wall. That wall will need to be broken for the sake of regaining the access to reach each other. And he hoped that there's still enough gaps between the little stones, to allow them both to break it open unharmed.

 

 

It came to their last day at school before the break begins. Although there were no school events related to Christmas or new years, it seemed that the students themselves were in a buzz. Last year ksoo would have never imagined to spend Christmas with anybody other than his parents, and perhaps his grandparents if they were able to visit. But this year, hearing the students in every corner talking about gits and parties and the spirit of giving for the sake of kindness, really got to him as well and brought up his excitement.

"So!" Jongdae exclaimed when turning around and grabbing their friends group's attention. Kyungsoo was busy imagining how nice it'd be to cook for his family for the eve. "Christmas party, my place, in three days." He proceeded, grabbing a sheet of paper and placing it down on Kyungsoo's table, since it's the center spot for everyone to approach and see what's written in it. Kyungsoo was quite surprised.   
"A party...? With me...?" He looked at Jongdae puzzled, pointing a finger at himself.   
"Of course!" Whoa... Kyungsoo was just officialy invited to his first ever Christmas party with friends... He stared at the sheet on his table with warmth spreading in his body.

"We'll have Minseok, Junmyeon, Yixing, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, you, Sehun, and me." Jongdae smiled at him warmly. Oh... Isn't someone missing? Especially if it will take place at Jongdae's place.   
"What about Jongin...?" Kyungsoo asked curiously before being able to stop himself from mentioning his name. He worries about Jongin's condition after the accident, but at the same time he isn't sure if it's his place to speak about him at all. Does Jongdae know that his brother is in the hospital at all?

"I don't know. He has his own things." Jongdae simply brushed it off naturally, shrugging his shoulders and looking completely oblivious to the whole situation. That's an extremely cold reaction towards someone who's been through something so rough and dangrous, very unlikely for Jongdae... That must mean he really doesn't know about Jongin's situation at all. Kyungsoo knew it was not his news to announce, so he simply nodded, even though he felt pretty guilty about it all.

"Alright, we have to settle who brings what. I mean, I'll take care of most things with Minseokie and it's all written here. So you guys just add what you're gonna bring so we could prepare." Jongdae explained, and as both Sehun and Chanyeol stood behind Kyungsoo and hovered above him to read the list, he felt like he really is a part of something great.

A tree, tree decorations, colorful fairy lights, mistletoe, entertainment, and various other things were already written in the list as the default aspects Jongdae will be providing in the party. Which means each guest will bring something with them to contribute. All of the other three had already began writing down things they could bring with them, and in the end, it was just Kyungsoo staring at the paper alone and thinking what else could be of any use. Eventually, he wrote down his decisions and handed Jongdae the filled sheet.

"I was also thinking of turning the gift giving process into a secret santa game! That way nobody would end up as broke as we all were last year." Jongdae spoke again after placing the sheet in his bag. Kyungsoo turned his head around and looked at the gloomy expressions on everyone's faces from the memories of the party he could only imagine they all had together last year.  
"That's the greatest idea you've ever had...." Baekhyun mumled, looking jokingly tearful as he smeared himself in a hug around Jongdae's shoulders.

After explaining the rules of the game to Kyungsoo and creating the notes with everybody's names, Sehun donated his beanie as a shuffling device. Jongdae explained that the names that weren't chosen will be split between the three other party participants who aren't in school with them. Each one of them picked out a note from the hat, until Jongdae grabbed out the last remining pieces and handed Sehun back his hat. Kyungsoo was really excited and curious to know who he will be able to buy a nice Christmas gift for. Different gift options to different gift receivers scrambled in his mind, until they all mutually nodded and secretly opened their notes together at the same time.

Kyungsoo couldn't believe his eyes at first. Really, he had an idea for a gift for every single person in the group, even for Yixing who he barely knows well enough to really have a clue as to what he actually likes. But out of everyone, he just had to pick out the one name he knew he'd be having trouble thinking of a gift for.

It's almost like fate had decided to toy with him like that. What are the chances that he'd manage to pick out Chanyeol? He was so convinced he'd be getting someone else, that he wasn't sure if he's shocked or happy to have picked Chanyeol out of them all.   
"Don't forget to not tell anybody else whose name you got, otherwise it'll ruin the fun." Jongdae grinned at them all, and the day went on.

"Hey, Kyungsoo." Baekhyun snuck behind him at the end of school day when Kyungsoo was emptying unnecessary books into his locker.   
"Did you get my name for the secret santa?" He asked quietly, looking from side to side suspiciously. Jongdae said that they must not expose who they've gotten, but how is he supposed to not answer Baekhyun?   
"No, not you."   
"Phew! Alright, good. I didn't get you either." He sighed in relief and then smiled, being a lot less secretive now.   
"Wanna go shopping with me tomorrow, then? We could get the gifts and the rest of the things we need together." Kyungsoo had a small feeling of deja vu from the last time the two of them went out. It was really fun and helpful to have another person around. And so, they've agreed.

 

 

The next day, the two of them met at the town's main street, and marched together to the shopping area. It had anything anybody could possibly think of needing. From fresh food, to electronic gadgets, to clothing stores and even baby strollers.

First thing they did, was to puchase all of the ingredients and items needed for the party itself. Baekhyun apparently had written he will bring the drinks and some meat. Kyungsoo had written he'd bring a cake, since he remembered the success of his previous cake when Baekhyun and Jongdae came over to his place for the afternoon, and also a classic Christmas recipe from home, fried chicken.

They were done with the party requirements fairly quickly, and stopped for a short break at a little coffee shop, where Kyungsoo learned that Baekhyun had already visited Yixing's new place, and that he likes it and thinks it suits his taste a lot. Which is great news. Not only about the place, but about the fact that the two of them are able to reconnect and patch up the tear that's been formed after what happened. They sat and talked for a while. It was so peaceful and relaxing.

Then, came the hardest part of them all. At least for Kyungsoo. Finding a gift for Chanyeol. Baekhyun seems to be pretty lost about it as well, although neither of them told each other who they'll be giving their gifts to, they could at least share the sentiment of cluelessness in fear of disappointment. At some point they wandered into a store full of gadgets. Phones, television screens, computer quipment, cameras and other various things.

"Hmm~ A camera could be a nice gift!" Baekhyun claimed, approaching the cameras isle and examining a few devices lying out in the display. Kyungsoo followed along out of curiousity. "Something small that can be easily carried around would be handy." Baekhyun continued mumbling to himself. Kyungsoo picked up one of the cameras and turned it in his hand.

However, when he spotted the price tag, his eyes widened and he quickly placed the camera back down.   
"I-It's probably quite outside the budget..." He tugged to Baekhyun's arm gently.   
"Huh? I dont know, the small ones look pretty decen---" He also, had turned to check the price tag of the smallest one he found.   
"Nope. Nope. You're right. Cameras are a big no." He grimaced before pulling Kyungsoo with him outside the store in a hurry.

"Aauugh I have no ideaaa!" Baekhyun whined out with a pout.   
"I'm also... Quite lost." Kyungsoo admitted while looking around the shopping district, the two of them already carrying a bunch of ingredient bags with them.   
"Should we think of something that is fun? Something pretty? Something silly? Something useful?" Baekhyun began asking mostly himself, as their feet wandered into one of the clothing stores.

Neither of them thought anything related to clothes could be a proper gift. Especially because they probably don't even know the sizes of their targets. But this store specifically seemed to be having incredibly cheap winter sales, so they gave it a chance anyway and began looking around. At some point they split, and Kyungsoo knew where Baekhyun was only when he heard him cheer out aloud.   
"Aha!" Came from the other corner of the store. He got there quickly, and found Baekhyun examining two coats. Both on sale, both look like they'd fit anybody of their group. Whoa, what a catch. "Which one do you think is better?" He asked Kyungsoo, showing him the different designs.

One looked fairly simple, just a black coat with some neat seams that give it a cool style, and the other had a weird pattern across the cloth.   
"This one is nice." Kyungsoo gestured at the clear black one, and Baekhyun grinned with a nod.  
"Right, I thought so too. It'd match them better." At the cash register, Baekhyun requested for the coat to be wrapped as a gift, and they were out on the crowded street again.

So Baekhyun went with a useful gift. Kyungsoo also thinks that bringing someone something useful is the best when it comes to gifts. Because otherwise they might not find it as important and it'll just get covered in dust somewhere in their house. In his head, Kyungsoo tried to run over the things that Chanyeol are interested in as they walked around. Until a small music shop was spotted at the corner of his eyes, and he immediately remembered Chanyeol's great love for music. His feet, following his instict, led him to the store immediately.

He recalled how much fun Chanyeol and him had during the preparation period before the outdoors festival their school held. How Chanyeol could play every single instrument that any of the other band members were using. Although during the performance Chanyeol was on the drums, Kyungsoo, in practices, could tell that Chanyeol is having the most joy when strumming a guitar.

So he turned in the store right towards the guitar section. The wall was covered in hanging guitars. All of them having different unique designs, shapes and sounds. But he knew that purchasing a guitar would be impossible. Not only because of the budget, but also because he has no idea how to choose a proper guitar.

Baekhyun behind him got distracted by one of the shelves. It had a bunch of small funny instruments like kazoos, whistle flutes, and maracas. These wouldn't really do... Although he knows Chanyeol would have fun with them for a while, people lose interest quickly in such things. Underneath all of these, however, Kyungsoo spotted a shelf with plastic containers filled with small colorful squares.

As he stepped closer, he noticed that they were actually guitar picks. Tons and tons of picks. Choosing a guitar might be impossible, but finding a nice pick seems like an easy enough job. He knows Chanyeol has a classic acoustic guitar back at home, or so he told him during band practices. So he grabbed onto the acoustic guitar picks container and began searching through it.

After a while of picking out differently designed picks, Kyungsoo finally found his winner. A white guitar pick with the word 'Happiness' written on it in aqua blue. The only one of its kind in the entire picks box. It looks really gentle, and Kyungsoo finds it quite fitting. Especially since Chanyeol really is a source of happiness. With a small smile, Kyungsoo placed the container back down and went over to pay. Good thing Baekhyun was there, because he reminded Kyungsoo to request the pick to be wrapped as a gift.

Good, he's done it. He found the perfect gift for Chanyeol. Even though it's nothing big, he hoped that Chanyeol would be able to understand the meaning behind it.

As they were on their way back, Kyungsoo realized that they had crossed the same place where Kyungsoo, a long while ago, asked Baekhyun if he likes someone. He remembers very well the way Baekhyun's smile was hiding such terrible pain. And knowing that now these feelings he had been suffering from finally turned back into, like he said, sunshine and rainbows, made Kyungsoo feel happy. Baekhyun deserves this happiness, he deserves to love brightly and feel enriched by his feelings.

The two shoppers, satisfied with their shopping session, parted ways happily at the end of the day. Kyungsoo placed the little wrapped gift for Chanyeol right at the center of his desk at the moment he entered his room. So there won't be a chance that he will forget it, even if he'll be distracted by other things before leaving for the party in two days.

A day after the shopping with Baekhyun, Kyungsoo visited Jongin in the hospital again. Although he didn't have to, he prepared a small gift for him as well, and brought a nice little lunch box for him to vary up the hospital food he has to eat. Jongin, other than still being quite beaten from the injury, seemed to be holding up well when it came to spirits. Apparently a bunch more of his friends will be visiting him soon, and his mom will come over and celebrate Christmas with him at the hospital. Kyungsoo was still worried anyway, of course, but at least he now knows that Jongin's in good hands. That he wouldn't be spending all this time alone.

 

 

Preparations have been going well when it came to baking the cake and cooking the chicken in the morning of the party. Kyungsoo had even already planned what outfit he'd wear and which socks he'd put on. But along with the excitement for the party, and for spending a Christmas with his friends for the first time, grew his fear regarding the gift.

Is it too small? Will it disappoint Chanyeol? Compared to the giant gift Baekhyun is going to bring, will he be happy to receive such a tiny wrapped gift? Maybe Kyungsoo had made a mistake and it wouldn't be good after all. His mind kept spinning with doubts. He was lucky he somehow managed to cook the fried chicken unharmed while being this distracted.

After the cake had cooled down and so did he, he managed to decorate it right for the event. With a white creamy coat, and happy little colored cream drawings of Christmas related items. A little santa face, a tree, some leaves and even a sleigh. That'd be good enough. Usually his dressing attire is mostly black, but this time he switched it up with a red knitted sweater, and some striped green and white socks to match with the colors of the holiday.

His parents helped him place everything he needed in the bags, and he made sure to hide the gift for Chanyeol so it could be used for the reveal of secret santa correctly. Although worried about the worth of the gift, he thanked his parents for the help, and successfully made it to Jongdae's house a little earlier than planned.

He was greeted by a smiling Minseok at the door, who automatically helped him assort everything he had brought.   
"Where do I put the gift for the secret santa?" Kyungsoo then whispered in his ear. When he arrived at the living room and found Sehun and Baekhyun already walking around and hanging decorations on the walls.   
"There's a bag behind the tree." Minseok replied quietly with a friendly wink. And Kyungsoo was sent on his way. He managed to easily sneak by his distracted friends and shove his gift into the bag.

In the kitchen he found that Jongdae was busy placing everything into proper containers and keeping it all in order, while Minseok assisted him by taking care of everything that shouldn't be there. Happy to see Kyungsoo, Jongdae immediately accepted his offered help, and the three of them did the job a lot better than just two.

A while later Junmyeon and Yixing arrived together, and at last, Chanyeol also managed to make it in time, carrying the most bags out of all of the other guests. Once the preparations were done, everybody sat together in the living room and began talking. About school, about the weather, Yixing talked more about his new place and Sehun talked about being glad that his brother is coming to visit. They were all at ease, sitting peacefully and simply enjoying each other's company.

For Kyungsoo, however, it was an extremely adorable view. They sat in a circle, however half on the floor and half on the couches. Directly in front of him right next to the sofa on the floor sat Jongdae, since its the closest to the kitchen. And on the couch's corner sat Minseok, whose hand was brushing lightly through Jongdae's hair from time to time. Next to Minseok was Sehun, and against him leaned Junmyeon who wouldn't stop playing with his thigh or knee. Then ksoo himself on the couch, next to him on floor was Chanyeol, sprawled freely and comfortably on the carpet. Then between him and Jongdae, Yixing and Baekhyun sat relatively apart from each other, except for Baekhyun's left leg which was for some reason rested on top of Yixing's legs.

Either way, looking at everyone being so close, warm and loving like this, felt just like a family. A family of friends that have chosen one another on their own. It was really relaxing to just chill together like that, especially since Kyungsoo got the best angle to continue looking at Chanyeol without being noticed. He got to learn a lot more about Yixing, too. About stories from the past that glimmered with innocence and joy. He was happy he was able to hear them, and learn more about the depth and value of his connection with the rest of their group of friends.

Until Sehun started showing signs that he's hungry. At which point, everybody helped bring everything to the large coffee table, and the meal began. Minseok even turned on some jolly festive music in the background.

Once the food was done and cleaned back up in the kitchen, the cake came out along with a bunch of planned games. Everybody ate and complimented Kyungsoo for the cake between their turns in the games, between laughing and bantering, teasing and shouting in distress when losing. It was, seriously, so much fun. Kyungsoo wasn't able to stop smiling even when he tried. Only a while after everybody had calmed down from the games' buzzed energy, Jongdae announced the secret santa event will now take place.

Chosen to be the 'Santa' of the event, was Junmyeon.   
So he stood in front of everybody with the large sack of gifts that was hidden under the tree until that point. Before each gift was pulled out of the sack, everybody created the sound of drums by tapping on their own thighs, Kyungsoo's heart also created the sound of drums in his ears every time, in fear that Junmyeon will pull his gift out and he'll have to deal with the possibility of Chanyeol not liking it, or being disappointed by only seeing the size of the wrappers.

"Chanyeol! This is from your secret santa~" Junmyeon called out, after both Minseok and Baekhyun got their own gifts opened. Kyungsoo was startled, and his heart sunk to his feet as he watched the way everybody looked at the little wrapping curiously. Baekhyun was the only one who glanced at him knowingly. To be fair, up until this point, the gift Baekhyun knew he chose could have gone to both Chanyeol and Sehun. So it was a fifty fifty chance.

"Whoa! Such a small gift! It must be something really precious, then." Chanyeol grinned when taking it from Junmyeon. He very carefully unwrapped the ribbon, but then failed to reveal the gift without tearing the wrapper paper itself open. His eyes widened when he saw the little plastic box with the pick in it.   
"Happines...?" He clicked it open and held the pick between his fingers right away, pretending to strum a fake guitar.

Then he grinned brightly and looked at Sehun.   
"Thanks man, I knew you'd get me that." He laughed, but Sehun stared at him for a bit before shrugging.   
"Wasn't me."   
"No way, you're the only one who knew I needed a new pick." Chanyeol insisted, but Sehun shook his head yet again, leaving Chanyeol utterly confused staring at his new pick.

All this time, Kyungsoo felt like he's about to lose his heart because it'll jump out of his chest. First of all, seeing how happy Chanyeol was to receive the gift already made him hot, but knowing that he chose the exact one thing Chanyeol actually needed without even knowing that he did, really made him feel like he succeeded. So although he managed to keep a neutral face, he felt like a party was going on inside of him. Ahh... Such a relief... He was so worried that his gift would seem cheap or become pointless.

Somehow, every other person in the group managed to get their gift before him. When Yixing got his gift, Kyungsoo realized that just like he was lucky enough to draw Chanyeol out of the hat, Baekhyun was lucky to draw Yixing. He recognized the coat from the store they both went to. And although Baekhyun was acting surprised and impressed, he could see the happiness sparking in his eyes from being able to give Yixing this gift. It's such a great gift for someone who's been gone for a year, and is about to face the korean winter again.

 

 

"Alright, before the last gift is given, let's do a round so you guys can guess and reveal who gave you the presents~!" Junmyeon smiled, winking at Kyungsoo to assure him that it's okay that he hasn't gotten his gift yet.

Everybody began shouting in chaos. Baekhyun was more than happy to explain that he bought Yixing the coat so that he'd be ready for the cold winter to come, now that he must have very few belongings after coming back. And Yixing seemed to have been touched by the thought from the way his eyes were shining when he listened to Baekhyun speak.

Some of them got silly things, some got pretty decorations, some received things they love disguised as things they hate just to tease them. But ksoo could only pay attention to the way Chanyeol accused everybody else but him for giving him the pick.   
"I... I was your secret santa." Kyungsoo had to admit to him eventually, looking at the way Chanyeol kept holding onto it so tightly.

"Kyungsoo, really? Wow... I'm so happy. How did you know I needed a new one? And with this beautiful 'Happiness' written on it. It's perfect. Exactly my style." His eyes were filled with excitement and anticipation as he looked directly into Kyungsoo's. Who felt incredibly overwhelmed from Chanyeol's attention and strong energy being directly only at him alone.  
"It's because you make everyone happy. Me, too." Kyungsoo explained, shynes creeping up over him after confessing such a thing. But Chanyeol didn't seem to think it was a big deal. So he pet Kyungsoo's knee gently.   
"Thank you. I love it. I'll use it well."

Then, as the last in the group, it was finally Kyungsoo's turn. Junmyeon pulled out his square shaped gift and placed the empty sack aside. Instead of Kyungsoo standing up to take his gift, Junmyeon brought it to him with a smile.   
"Hey, we know this was a secret santa... But this one is from all of us." He said calmly, before everybody turned to look at Kyungsoo tearing the wrapping apart. What was revealed in front of him was a blank white box. He was a little confused, but Junmyeon reached in and turned the box around.

it was... A phone. A smart phone of his own. Something that all of his friends together tipped in to get for him. If his heart didn't leap out of his chest before, he was convinced it would right now. He was so deeply touched, and looked at everybody's smiles in shock.

"It's probably all new for you, I could help out if you have any questions. I actually... Tampered with it a little before, set it up so it'll be easier for you to get used to." Chanyeol was the first to speak. He looked almost as excited as Kyungsoo should be looking for getting such a gift, just because he was looking forward to teaching him about it.

Kyungsoo stared at the box for a while, he gulped the shock back down and right after, a happy wide smile had appeared. The type of smiles that turn his vision blurry because his eyes shift into happy shiny crescents of emotion.

"Thank you, everyone." He could feel his heart's true happiness making this smile happen. He heard a few awws and Baekhyun's usual emotional sob of being touched, while Chanyeol averted his eyes away and covered the lower half of his face with his hand. His ears turning pink.

The rest of the party continued being just as fun and pleasant. They split into smaller groups of conversations, while Chanyeol sat himself down beside Kyungsoo and helped him operate his new device with patience and relaxation. Kyungsoo did his absolute best to try and focus on the things he's being taught, it was hard due to the fact that Chanyeol was sitting so close to him and leaning in even closer from time to time to help him with a task, but he got the basics that Chanyeol tried to teach, and that's good enough.

It was nearly midnight when the guests have began showing signs of tiredness. So before sombody would fall asleep, they all used the last of their powers to help Jongdae clean up everything related to the party, but keep all of the festivity of the decorations around anyway, for his family to enjoy. Shortly after, everyone left together, and split to their different directions once reaching the main street. And of course, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were paired to walk back home together since they both live in the same block.

 

 

The streets were nearly vacant except for a few couples walking together from time to time, holding hands, dressed in holiday fitting clothes. They probably returned from Christmas parties themselves. Just like Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. Except Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are nowhere near a couple. The closed shops had bright blinking lights in red and green, and the temperature felt like the earth had indeed decided that Christmas will come tonight. It was freezing, but beautiful, and peaceful. And it helped Kyungsoo battle the heat that constantly gathers in his cheeks whenever he's anywhere near Chanyeol's radius.

They walked together in silence for a while, until their path had changed from the town's center into the usual outlandish road they have to walk by to get to their block. It was just a straight road, while from both sides there was only green. No trees, no buildings, not even houses until further away in the view. So above them the starry sky was peeking behind the passing clouds in the dark. Kyungsoo could see the puffs of steam his breath released when he exhaled.

"Thank you again, for the pick." Chanyeol broke their unsuspecting silence calmly, and pulled the little pick out of his pocket, staring at it with a shiny smile before pushing it, and his palm, back in the pocket of his coat.   
"I was convinced it's from Sehun because I told him I needed a new one recently... But Baekhyun said you went shopping with him, so I'm really surprised that you knew."

Kyungsoo nodded.   
"I saw it in the music store and it made me think of how much happiness you bring me--- I mean, everyone." Kyungsoo spoke normally, but quickly retraced his words to turn it less personal, otherwise he'd lose his soul from embarrassment.

Chanyeol laughed lightly "It is perfect." Then looked at Kyungsoo with renewed energy.   
"There's something I forgot to do before. Give me your phone again for a moment?" And Kyungsoo had to search his pockets in order to find where he put it. Once he did, he placed it in Chanyeol's large hand.

He watched how Chanyeol began tapping a few things around the screen, then suddenly raised the phone in front of him and smiled at it. A click was heard, and after examining the screen again, Chanyeol grinned and handed it back to Kyungsoo with a smile.   
"There. Now you've got me as a contact. So if there's ever anything you need, you could call me, or text me." He explained, and Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol's contact page.

Ah, so the picture he just took became his contact's profile picture. He looked so good... So handsome... He looked like he was glowing compared to the darkness surrounding them. But then Kyungsoo's eyes wandered over the details, and he found that Chanyeol had even given himself a name.

"Chanyeolie." Kyungsoo read the name out loud. Not realizing Chanyeol's body jerked in surprise beside him. He even coughed out a little and averted his eyes away for a moment. This is exciting, this is really cool. Now the two of them could stay in contact even outside of school.

"Thank you!" He smiled up at Chanyeol, who nodded lightly and took his own phone out of his pocket.   
"Here, send me a message now." He encouraged Kyungsoo, who slowly and carefully tapped around the screen and opened a new chat between them. After a few moments of thought, he sent Chanyeol a single emoji of a waving hand.

Chanyeol's phone buzzed almost immediately, and he began laughing heartfully before tapping on his own screen, Kyungsoo was very curious as to what he was doing, since he couldn't have possibly taken this long for him to reply. Moments later, Kyungsoosoo's own phone vibrated in his palm. It was a message from Chanyeol, two emojis this time, an adorable looking penguin, and a red heart.

Now instead of curious, Kyungsoo was mostly confused. Staring down at the penguin's little image, all he could think about is the penguin plushie that Chanyeol decided to take as prize back from the arcade. He wondered if this message to him has anything to do with it at all, or maybe it's just a coincidence. Maybe penguins are actually Chanyeol's favourite animals.

"Smile!" Chanyeol suddenly called out, catching Kyungsoo completely off guard as he turned to look at him surprised. He was too busy thinking about the meaning of the penguin and the heart to compose himself for a smile. In front of him, Chanyeol's phone camera clicked like a shutter, and soon after, Chanyeol's laughter took over his confusion. It was a happy warm laughter. Kyungsoo loved it. Chanyeol then steped to stand a little closer, and lowered his phone's screen to show it to him.   
"Now I have a profile picture for your contact, too." He smiled with victorious satisfaction.

The picture looked pretty normal. It was just Kyungsoo's face staring directly at the camera with his big confused eyes. Quite embarrassing, but if that's what Chanyeol chose, who is he to judge. Kyungsoo's eyes ran over his own contact details in Chanyeol's phone, and he noticed that just like Chanyeol named himself 'Chanyeolie', he named Kyungsoo 'Kyungsie' with the same little penguin emoji right next to it.

Huh...? Suddenly a rush of heat covered Kyungsoo's exposed cold cheeks. Is... Is he the penguin? At the arcade...? The message? Now the contact? His heart was beating fast just from speculating such things. And when he handed Chanyeol back his phone, he saw that Chanyeol was just smiling to himself looking all happy while staring up at the sky. Even if he's the penguin, what does that even mean...?

Kyungsoo joined the notion of looking up at the sky, because it's basically the only thing that could calm his heart back down at the moment. But he winced lightly when a tiny pinch of cold pricked his nose.   
"Ah! It's snowing!" Chanyeol sounded excited, and immediately spread both his hands sideways to try and capture some snowflakes in them. Kyungsoo could barely see any snowflakes actually falling, but maybe it's just a very light snow. It's kind of nice, though. That there's even a little bit of snow after they've just left a Christmas party. It felt... Fitting.

Before he noticed, the two of them reached the usual spot where they each take their turn. The single divergence that separates them at the end of every day, but also brings them together again when they meet in the mornings.

"The party was lovely. I'm really happy that I was invited. And the gift... I-It's amazing." Kyungsoo spoke first, nodding at Chanyeol with gratitude.   
"It was the first time I spent a Christmas evening with friends, and not family." He admitted. "The food was delicious, and we had music, and played games... It was a whole new Christmas for me." Kyungsoo concluded and finally looked back up at Chanyeol again. He's so lucky to have such incredible friends.

Chanyeol, however, didn't quite make eye contact with Kyungsoo, instead, he stepped forward, way closer to him, with a neutral expression. Huh? Why was he coming so close? Kyungsoo blinked, stunned in his spot. Chanyeol then reached a hand forward, right towards Kyungsoo's face, and he felt like he's about to drop. But instead, it landed on top of Kyungsoo's head.  
Chanyeol's fingers lightly ruffled through his hair a few times, before looking down into his eyes at last. He lingered like this for a while. Not moving, not pulling away, Kyungsoo could tell that something was going through his head because his expression seemed unexpectedly serious, almost like he's getting heated. If he was to look at them from the side, he would have probablt seen sparks flying in the air around them.

"You were covered in snow." Chanyeol said instead, calmly, then stepped back with a growing smile but averted eyes, leaving Kyungsoo and his heart to burst.   
"Merry Christmas, Kyungsoo." His voice was warm and gentle.

He then turned around, slid his hands into his pockets, and began walking away. Kyungsoo was still pretty shaken from the sudden closeness between them, but as he watched Chanyeol leave, he could see that his ears were very noticeably burning in pink. What... Was this? He knows Chanyeol was just being kind enough to clean the snow from his hair, but it almost felt like there was something more that he wanted to do?

Kyungsoo wished he was a little more like Chanyeol himself. Because he's amazing, and everything good he could think of. Chanyeol too, had a little bit of snow on his hair. He would have stroked it off if he was even a little bit more like Chanyeol.

By the time he made it back home the snow had stopped entirely. However, when he took off his coat, something fell out of the pocket that was created from the hood being pulled backwards like he wore it. He hung the coat in the rack, then picked up the item. It was a small, yet slightly bigger than a keychain sized... Mistletoe? When did it get there? The mistletoe at Jongdae's place looked completely different. The only thing that's been near his head all day was Chanyeol's hand just a few minutes ago when he cleaned the snow off.

After telling his parents all about the wonderful party and having his heart melt yet again when he explained how he got his new phone device, his parents told him that they're very happy, and that they already knew. Because Jongdae called and spoke with them to know if it's okay to give him such a gift. Kyungsoo felt so, so loved.

He was finally in bed, staring at the emoji chat he had with Chanyeol and still wondering whether or not a penguin has anything to do with him. All of a sudden, he saw a bubble appearing at the botom of the chat.

[ 'Chanyeolie' is now typing... ]

Oh--- Uh oh--- Could he somehow see that Kyungsoo was there? He began panicking, but the the bubble disappeared a little while later. Huh... Kyungsoo nearly had a heart attack over nothing. He sighed lightly and shut the phone and placed it away as he slowly fells asleep with the giraffe plushie protecting him by his side.

He might have gotten a whole smartphone device as a Christmas present... And although it was cheesy to admit, Kyungsoo felt that the real gift was the fact that he got to spend such a wonderful, warm, and pleasant time with the group of people that turned his life into a bright, lively and eventful adventure. It was, most definitely, Kyungsoo's favourite Christmas.

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

 

In the few days between the Christmas party and the beginning of the new year, Kyungsoo's phone has been bombarded with messages. Thanks to Chanyeol showing him how to add contacts, he was able to successfully save every single one of his friends on his phone. He was added to a whole bunch of new conversations. Or as they are called, group chats. Where everyone are able to text each other and see everybody else's messages. Kind of like chatting in real life.

One was the group chat with everybody who came to the Christmas party, named 'Husbands' by Baekhyun. Another was a group including only the people who are from the same class. Baekhyun, Jongdae, Chanyeol, Sehun, even Seungwan and Seulgi were there. Named 'High Class' by Baekhyun. One more was a group with only Baekhyun Jongdae and himself named 'We don't know a Doshio' by Baekhyun.

Very quickly Kyungsoo realized that Baekhyun is a very active member in the phone related communications. Because along with the group chats, every single one of his friends sent him a private message as well. Simple things he could easily reply to. And out of everyone, Kyungsoo was actually a little sad that Chanyeol hasn't sent him anything. Not that he can blame him, because Kyungsoo himself hasn't sent anything either, but still.

When he went to visit Jongin at the hospital he showed him his brand new device, and the two of them also added each other as contacts and began communicating. It was mostly Kyungsoo asking how Jongin was feeling, and Jongin replying with odd yet adorable answers every time.

In the 'Husbands' group chat with everybody, Minseok came up with the amazing idea of going together to the new year's festivals that will take place at the town's park this year. And very quickly everybody sent their confirmations of arrival and participation. Kyungsoo as well, was excited to spend the day with other people who are not just his parents.

Normally he'd be spending new years' nights on his own, so he wondered what kind of experience it is to not only be with his friends, but also be out in public, surrounded by the crowds and lights and noises.

After telling his parents about the plan, they gave him a few recommendations for activities, then tried to convince him to go out wearing traditional clothes to show his festiveness. But he managed to successfully direct them off of the suggestion by telling them how that wouldn't work with the cold temperature that will be going on that night.

And just like that, on the evening of the last day of the year, the entire group had gathered right outside the entrance to the park. Even before reaching the park at all, the roads were crowded with people flooding over to reach it and experience the festivity. The end of the year is a time filled with so many celebrations, Kyungsoo couldn't help but feel extremely happy that he is able to exeprience them all with the people he loves.

He hasn't really gone out of the house since the party, so stepping outside right as the sun finished setting was quite a chill shock for his body. Good thing he came wrapped in enough layers to counter it. On top of his warm sweater he had a thick and long black padded coat that belonged to his father in the past. It was a little big on him, and hid his palms perfectly without having to place them inside any pockets.

He wasn't the only one being over dressed for the occasion, he was relieved to see when he approached his group of friends, because Chanyeol, too, was wearing a padded coat. Maybe not as long as Kyungsoo's but it was still comforting to know he's not the only one suffering from the cold. Everyone else had more fashion worthy covers. Though it did warm his heart to see Baekhyun zipping up Yixing's coat. The one he had given him at the party. Their exchange of smiles was sweet.

It all started good, until they've reached the center of the park, where booths were lined up in long confusing rows, like a maze, and everybody began splitting fairly quickly due to the large amount of people that kept flowing in every direction. There were couples, families, children, people wearing costumes all around. And before he could bear his ground, Kyungsoo found himself alone.

He was afraid of such a thing happening, but once he realized he's on his own, it was actually really nice. He might be alone, but he doesn't feel lonely in any way. It's not the same type of alone that he used to feel back when people treated him like an evil spirit at school. Although even here people mostly kept their distance from him, it was nice. He felt independent and mature, rather than shunned and disliked.

Slowly surfing through the streams of people, Kyungsoo got to see the many displays of things the booths were offering. There were game booths, jewelry, food, accessories, scarves, decorations, flowers, candies--- There were just so many. So much variety. And each booth was uniquely designed to lure as many customers as possible. The constant chattering of the crowd around numbed down into a pleasant background noise, along with a child laughing here and there. He even spotted some of his school mates, even classmates around.

He saw Minseok cheering on Jongdae with his whole heart to win one of the games, then laughing and petting his head when he lost.   
He saw Baekhyun and Yixing standing in front of a winter accessories booth, where Baekhyun kept placing different hats, gloves, earmuffs, scarves, and sunglasses on Yixing. The way Yixing smiled at him so fondly, knowing that he's in good hands, was really nice to see.   
He saw Sehun carrying a bunch of little house decorations of blessing scrolls in his arms, along with some wrapped candies and a boba tea drink, following after a concentrated Junmyeon examining the booths.

It was adorable, and from the warmth of his friends' affection for each other, and the warmth of being surrounded by so many people, Kyungsoo nearly forgot it was cold at all. That is, until he spotted a single crying child standing at the corner of the festival row, sniffing and wiping his tears away repeatedly between the sobs. Oh... Oh no... Is he lost? It must feel so scary to lose one's family in such a place as a child.

He debated whether or not he should approach the child. Because due to his known reputation as a ghostly scary figure, and the fact that he's dressed in all black, it might get the opposite result and he'd scare the child even more instead of trying to help him. But he started getting increasingly worried about him, and really wanted to save the child from further suffering. The kid was maybe six, at most.

But before he was able to step ahead and attempt to introduce himself, Chanyeol was already there. Kneeling in front of the child to maintain eye level, and gently stroking his sides to warm him up. Kyungsoo was a little too far behind to hear, but he could easily assume that Chanyeol was asking him different questions. Like what was wrong, why the tears, where are his parents, and what's their name.

It was like magic. The same effect Chanyeol's presence has on Kyungsoo, he had on the child. Because he stopped crying and calmed down at the moment Chanyeol smiled at him and began stroking his head.  
Kyungsoo remained hidden behind the flow of people and a few booths, but he could still clearly see how Chanyeol told the child to wait, purchased a candy, and returned to give it to him like a gift of peace. The child accepted the sweet treat, and then accepted Chanyeol's large hand. It was extremely heart warming for Kyungsoo to see how the child's little palm and fingers wrapped tightly only around Chanyeol's single finger. How Chanyeol with soft thumb movements kept stroking the child's hand to keep them calm.

He felt a little strange, like a bit of a creep, but also happy and lucky, that he was able to follow after the two of them unnoticed as they walked together around the area. They kept calling out the child's parents names.

He wanted to join in and help them so much, but he knew he'd only be causing another problem for Chanyeol to fix if he was around. He'd scare the child, or be awkward, or stop their search somehow, and he'd rather allow things to flow naturally instead. It seemed that Chanyeol and the child managed to bond quite well, because they even stopped at a few of the gaming booths, and later Chanyeol pulled the kid up to sit on his shoulders. Tall and majestic above all the rest of the festival's visitors. The child looked happy. He kept laughing, smiling, and talking to Chanyeol about things Kyungsoo would assume only kids can talk about. He was in awe.

Chanyeol really is like an angel sent down from heaven to this filthy of an earth. There's so much to him that keeps surprising Kyungsoo every single day. His kindness knows no boundaries and his emotions run free and wild from within. He has so much passion, and so much compassion. The world doesn't deserve Chanyeol, but Chanyeol definitely deserves the world.

He must be some sort of fairy, or a magician, a wizard or a god, to be able to make every single person around him feel so much love. So much happiness, so much life. Chanyeol is overflowing with everything that can be considered good. And Kyungsoo is so, so grateful that he is able to be alive at the same time as him. That he's able to label himself Chanyeol's friend.

They are like complete opposites. Chanyeol is the brightness, the light, the fire, the happiness and strength that comes from the core of life itself. And Kyungsoo is... Not. He's the darkness, the quiet, the isolation, fears and doubts that rest on the dark side of the light Chanyeol emits.

Kyungsoo heard the saying that opposites attract many times before. And he could definitely understand why a darkness like himself would, like a moth, seek the warmth, reassurance, and guidance that comes with the light. But someone like Chanyeol, who is already the shining star in the middle of the galaxy, why would they want anything to do with a pesky dark moth that wishes to slug on their liveliness like a parasite?

He knows he will never become anything like what he admires about Chanyeol the most. But he will keep holding onto that wish, because that's his source of light that keeps him going. And even if it will never come true, having something to hold onto for one's self is quite good within itself already.

Eventually, while Kyungsoo was watching the way Chanyeol entertained the child, and himself probably, they have made a whole cycle through the festival's grounds, and wound up to finish at the same spot they began. But as they've approached that corner, the child started shouting and reaching out away from Chanyeol. As Kyungsoo stepped a little closer for a better view, he found that the child's parents were standing right at the spot Kyungsoo had spotted the child standing and crying before.

They pulled the child into a tight hug, then thanked Chanyeol sincerely for the help and left with the child in their arms. Kyungsoo expected Chanyeol to walk on right away, but instead, he stood there for a while longer and looked at them leaving. A gentle smile spreaded across his face as he began waving their way. Kyungsoo then noticed that the child was looking back at him and waving back as well, before they went out of sight.

 

 

And then Chanyeol's energy took a turn. It suddenly became strange, like something is missing, although he was still smiling, it felt like he was incredibly lonely. Unbearably lonely. Kyungsoo could choke on how sharply he felt it pierce his heart. He never saw Chanyeol like this before. Atanding there, surrounded by so many people, and yet feeling so distinctively lonely. He could tell it was loneliness, because Kyungsoo himself, knows that this is exactly what he's displaying. Kyungsoo would have never imagined that someone as loving and as loved as Chanyeol would be able to feel such intense isolation inside.

Though it didn't last this long, because Kyungsoo got pushed from behind by a bunch of rowdy people in the crowd, and Chanyeol noticed him with surprise on his face. Instantly, a smile grew across his lips, and any trace of the strong emptiness that surrounded Chanyeol's energy a moment ago was gone like it never existed. He's all back to normal again, even better than normal. His energy was actually cheerful now.

"Ah~! Kyungsoo. It's so nice to find a familiar face again." He held onto Kyungsoo's arm and helped him stabilize himself after the push.   
"Are you alright? Ended up on your own as well?" He asked gently, releasing Kyungsoo's arm.   
"Y-Yeah, everybody split somehow."   
"Same here. I did see a few other classmates walking around though. It's very crowded here this year." Chanyeol explained as the two of them began walking together now between one booth to another. It's way better now, that they stick together.

The more they walked, the more their conversation continued pleasantly, and Kyungsoo was very glad that he had the opportunity to spend his time with Chanyeol like this. It felt like a better gift for the new year than anything else. Chanyeol didn't say anything about the child he had taken care of. He's too humble for his own good. Kyungsoo was glad he was a witness to Chanyeol's good deed.

Slowly, the festival seemed to be shutting down. The crowd had thinned massively, there were no more any children around. Booths were closing and turning their lights off, and even the background music had been lowered in volume through the speakers hanging in every corner.

It was peaceful, and a little colder again, but Kyungsoo was so happy. Their conversation varied between school, to what types of foods they've tried at the festival, to which games they won, and which street performers they managed to see at different spots. It was nearing midnight when Kyungsoo noticed that the crowd had changed its flowing direction towards another section of the park.

"Ah, the fireworks are supposed to start soon." Chanyeol remembered, and after confirming Kyungsoo would join him, they've made their way to the top of a small hill in the other side of the park. There were still a lot of people around, sitting down on the side of the hill or walking behind on the paths, but it was quiet, and spacious enough to remind Kyungsoo that he had brought his bear-like coat for a good reason.

The fireworks began at about two minutes to midnight, and Kyungsoo was in awe. Together with the people's joyful noises of surprise, the booming sounds of the explosions echoing in delay, and the stunning view they have from their spot on the hill, Kyungsoo was excited. It was such a unique experience. He saw a few of the people around taking out their phones to film, and on a whim, decided to do the same. He could show it to his parents later.

He never got to go out with friends for such a festival before. Sitting down and watching fireworks like this... It's all new, and he's doing it right now for the first time with Chanyeol by his side. Every year he'd go to the festival with his parents, but they'd return home quite early, before the firewroks even appeared.

He tried to handle the phone's camera to commemorate this moment with some pictures, but placed it away again when he realized the pictures came out a little blurry and confusing. It was still very cool.

The fireworks haven't ceased for several minutes, and Kyungsoo was enjoying every second of them. At one point, he turned to Chanyeol with an excited smile, expecting to see him staring up in the sky and watching the colorful sparks. But he was surprised when he found that Chanyeol has actually been looking directly at him instead. His head was resting against his palm. It reminded Kyungsoo of the way Sehun often gazes out of the window in class.  
Does that mean Chanyeo was gazing... At him? Why would Chanyeol look at him and not the fireworks?

It was quite overwhelming for him to see Chanyeol's eyes locked so peacefully on him like that, but he leaned in closer to Chanyeol's ear anyway.   
"The fireworks are really beautiful!" He tried to speak loud enough for him to hear over the noises, but not too loud to cause him any pain. Chanyeol turned his head to give Kyungsoo closer access to his ear, and then smiled and nodded when he heard what he said.

It's so nice that the two of them are able to share new years like this together. Midnight had passed, and the tradition Kyungsoo knew from movies, of kissing someone at that time, was already too late to conduct. He couldn't even imagine himself being able to kiss Chanyeol anyway. Just the fact that they are sitting together on a hill is already making his heart race enough for a year.

Moments later though, Chanyeol leaned in towards Kyungsoo's ear as well.   
"The fireworks are nice, but---" There was an especially loud firework exploding in the background. "--- More beautiful." Kyungsoo missed a word or two in the middle hasn't he? He turned to look at Chanyeol puzzled, hoping that he'd be able to repeat it.

But instead, Chanyeol was already looking up at the color exchanging sky. It was hard to see in the darkness, but Kyungsoo thought his adorable ears had changed their shade to a bright pink again. And now, just like Chanyeol was gazing in his direction before, it's Kyungsoo himself who was gazing at Chanyeol. The way the colors reflect in his eyes, the way they shine so brightly, his flawless profile... The way the wind grazes against his soft fluffy hair. Kyungsoo could tell that if he ever died and reached heaven, this view is exactly how it'd look like.

Chanyeol's very existence is something that brings him happiness, joy, a reason to wake up in the morning and actually look forward to the day itself. Chanyeol has given Kyungsoo so much. He turned to be someone he wants to become, someone he wants to become better for, and someone he wants to treasure. Kyungsoo loves everything about him. Kyungsoo loves him. He's so undoubtedly in love.

 

 

Days later, the short yet fulfilling vacation had ended, and they were all to go back to school again. As Kyungsoo made it to class in the morning, he spotted Sehun already half napping in his seat, and Baekhyun busy on his phone at his own table.   
"Good morning." He sat himself down, and had Baekhyun immediately turn around to him with a smile.   
"Morning Kyungsoo! Look at this!" He handed Kyungsoo his phone with a photo displaying on the screen.

It was a picture of Yixing and Minseok holding tan up in the air, as the cat has a hilarious expression of lazy nonchalance about it. Kyungsoo laughed brightly as Baekhyun grinned.  
"Tannie is so cute. He's like our group's mascot." Kyungsoo said with a smile. And Baekhyun after staring at him in surprise, then quickly began tapping on his phone as if he's gotten an idea.

"Sup boys~" Jongdae slid into his seat right then.   
"I'm so over this winter already. When will it be spring again..." He whined childishly.   
"I know right, maybe when spring comes then the rest of the students will return to school as well." Baekhyun sighed.   
"What do you mean?" Kyungsoo asked curiously, looking around the classroom. Something does feel a little empty actually.   
"Lots of students aren't back yet because they're on vacation or things like that." Baekhyun explained.

"Living the good life in the hot sun on the other side of the world, huh." Jongdae hummed with a pout.   
"It can be from other reasons too." Kyungsoo said, turning both their heads in his direction.  
"Hm? Like what? None of us are allowed to drink yet, so hangovers are not a possibility." Baekhyun countered.   
"Maybe they had urgent things to take care of, or got into dangerous accidents like Jongin."

Kyungsoo could feel his heart freezing in his chest at that moment. Wide eyes stared at him. Baekhyun gave him a nervous apologetic look, and Jongdae... Jongdae's face stuck in shock for several moments.   
"Did you just say jongin...?" He asked quietly, and Kyungsoo began sweating from the stress, his heart booming in his chest.   
"Y-Yes... Before our Christmas party I was outside and saw Jongin get run over by a truck as he crossed the road... The ambulance came really fast though, and he was fine." He spoke a little shakily.

"I visited him often to keep him company... He's doing a lot better already---... So..." Kyungsoo finished and shut his mouth, noticing how nervous Baekhyun's expression was as well. He stared at Jongdae's state of shock that lasted for a while longer.

Until he suddenly cleared his throat and his expression turned back to normal. Except... His energy was suddenly extremely intense and upset. It felt like just staying around him, or within his radius of space, would pull everyone into a black hole of anger and intense seriousness. "Thanks for letting me know." He nodded, then quickly turned back around in his chair and began tapping on his phone. It felt like sitting behind a living spark of lightning.

"Morning, Baekhyun, Jongdae, Kyungsoo... Sehun." Chanyeol then approached and slid into his seat, doing the usual fold-and-store action to his giraffe scarf. But nobody dared to say anything back. Confused, he leaned closer to Kyungsoo's seat.   
"What's going on?" He whispered, and Kyungsoo exhaled slowly.   
"I accidentally told Jongdae about Jongin's accident..." He whispered back as quiet as possible. Chanyeol looked at him surprised, but understandingly. Through the entire day at school, Jongdae acted as if nothing happened, but his aura told a different story. At the moment school ended, he rushed off like a bullet.

 

 

A little later in the afternoon, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo met again by the hospital. They've planned to go and visit Jongin together today, which is probably why Kyungsoo's mind was wrapped around it during school and he revealed the truth in front of Jongdae accidentally. It was reassuring to meet up with Baekhyun though. They both had brought delicious treats for Jongin to enjoy. Kyungsoo with the same fried chicken he'd brought to the party, that was a dazzling success according to Jongin's opinion of the sample he got, and Baekhyun with some packed noodle meals from Sehun's family's ramen store.

Up to the eighth floor, then to the right, a left, and then through the door on the left, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo made it into Jongin's recovery room. They wanted to surprise Jongin with their food gifts, but instead, were surprised themselves when they found Jongdae standing at the edge of his bed, and the two of them looking at each other angrily.

"--- Is that why mom hasn't told me anything?! Because you were an idiot and asked her to not say a word?! Why?!" Jongdae spoke sharply. It seems they were in the middle of a confrontation, because neither of them even noticed that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo had stepped into the room.   
"Why the hell do you think?! When I try to get close, you keep telling me to stay the fuck out of your life, and when I do, that's also not good enough for you?!" Jongin shouted back, his voice sounding torn.

"Well yeah, but I meant at school?! I can't believe she went along with your stupid request. I feel so cheated right now." Jongdae rubbed his face angrily.   
"Who cares anyway, whatever."   
"No it's not whatever, Jongin. Listen, I dont give a shit when you talk about girls asking you out at school and you refusing them because of your crush on that Taemin guy from the other school. That's none of my business. But an accident that leaves you in the hospital for a fucking month is pretty much my business?!"   
"I dont fucking get you, Jongdae. I'm tired of this, I'm tired of you." Jongin replied, he looked and sounded very hurt from Jongdae's words.

But... Wasn't the fact that Jongdae knew about the stories Jongin kept telling him, actually meant that he heard and listened to him? These two really are an issue. They both are so stuck in their own belief about the other, that they don't realize what's happening in the reality surrounding them.

It was a little scary to see the two of them talking to each other like this. Not only because of what they say, but also because Kyungsoo has never seen them express this much anger before. Anger is scary.

"I still dont even understand what I've done to deserve anything of the way you're treating me. Is my exstence this much of a pain to you?! Do you hate me this fucking much?! To come here and scold me for getting into an accident I didn't even cause?! What the fuck have I ever done to you?!" Jongin fired back, his bed was shaking a little from how tense his mody must feel and move in it.

"Don't you start this now--- You know exactly why things are the way they are. How would you feel if somebody stole your family away from you?!" Jongdae replied angrily.   
"Who the fuck stole a family from you?! You think I wanted this?! To be born a fucking bastard because your dad and my mom couldn't keep it in their pants?!" Jongin's voice rasped as his teeth gritted together.   
"I never asked for any of this, I didn't have a fucking choice. Why do I have to be the one suffering, when our goddamn parents are so stupid they couldn't understand just how hurt you were?!"

He continued.   
"Don't you remember? How we used to run away together, how I kept fighting with them FOR YOU. Because they were being so impossibly stupid and tried to blame you for having feelings!" Jongin's anger slowly started to tone down a little.   
"I didn't let go of you for a minute... I don't know, maybe I was too annoying, too pushy, too intrusive towards you. I was a fucking kid, I didn't know anything. I saw you were sad because of them, and I tried to be something that'd make you happy instead." He sighed and rubbed his face with his one available hand.   
"I didn't understand what you were feeling, but does it really matter? We're still having this fight!" His eyebrowd drew tight together.

"What fucking happened to us... We used to be best friends--- We used to be so damn powerful together--..." Jongin's voice began shaking.   
"Look at us now... I dont understand why I'm at fault for being born... Everything was just fine--- We still share the same blood--- So why does it matter who is whose child---..." He continued, and Kyungsoo felt his heart twisting with sadness.

It was silent for a lengthy period of time after Jongin's shaking words. He sat on the bed, looking at his own blanket, curled and hunched in a cloud of sadness, regret, and pain. While Jongin stood at the edge of his bed, also staring down, spilling out rivers of suffering, of memories flashing through his mind and the sharp pricks of pain that they cause his heart. Kyungsoo could hear nothing but the air conditioner at the corner of the room, and his own heart beating in his chest.

"I hate this too... You know. I hate this so fucking much." Jongdae admitted. His anger turned into pain.   
"You know how scared I was when I heard you were in an accident?... I dont even know why, I can't explain why I'm still unable to hate you--- It's so stupid---..." He rubbed his face again as well.

"Why do you have to hate me at all...?"   
"B-Because---..." Jongdae's voice wavered. "Because I'm fucking jealous--... Okay? Because I'm jealous that both your parents are alive and mine are not. That my mom is not."   
"What the fuck does that even mean? My mom is your mom too, you're such an idiot. Just because she didn't birth you outside of marriage doesn't mean she isn't your mom, too. She fucking loves you. And you used to love her so much too. You were literally mommy's boy for as long as I can remember." Jongin shot back.

"Fuck---... This is so stupid. I don't even understand why I'm so angry about it myself." Jongdae huffed down, rubbing his head with apparent anger, from the aggression he had used to do so.   
"I miss you Jongdae... I'm sorry that things are the way they are... But you know I can't turn back time. Would it be better if I had just died in the accident? Would that make it easier for you to accept?" Jongin asked desperately, tears appearing in his eyes. Kyungsoo's heart clenched hard. Jongin's truly clinging to his last lines here.

The messy room... The mask of personality he constantly wears... The amount of cautiousness he displays towards everything that's related to Jongdae... Kyungsoo knew that Jongin asked this in full honesty. That Jongin really believed that there was a chance his death would have been the solution to the pain both Jongdae and him suffered through. And it hurt Kyungsoo deep in the heart to know that there would have been nothing he could do to change that thought in his mind.

"Don't fucking say such things!---"   
"Then why--- Why do you keep pushing me away all the time?" His wet sniffle caused Kyungsoo's body to jerk lightly. Jongin was... Broken. Both physically, and mentally. Right now, right in front of Jongdae. He had broken down and opened up his very core on display.   
"I try so hard---... So fucking hard... To reconnect---... But bringing back the past just makes you angry, trying to fit in with your friends would make you turn them against me--- And even when I go and visit Minseokie you tell me to leave..." Jongin sniffed again and wiped his streaming tears away with his one free arm.

"...I... I've really been such an asshole haven't I..." Jongdae's expression looked like a mixture of shock, fear, misery, and mostly, sadness.  
"I can't blame you... I dont know how I would have reacted if I learned the truth back then..." Even with all that's been said and done, Jongin was still selfless enough to defend Jongdae against his own guilt. Kyungsoo knew that Jongin is aware of the fact that Jongdae is not the bad guy in the situation.

The two of them fell into silence then. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were unable to move, or speak, or breathe too loud, so it wouldn't interrupt. It looked like both Jongdae and Jongin have caved in from their anger at this point.   
At the same time, the energy between them shifted from the fiery anger into something mellow. Something soft, and hurting, and warm.

Jongin sniffed again and allowed his body to fall back against the pillow that supports his back, looking down as his tears wouldn't stop sliding gracefully over his cheeks. After a moment of hesitation, Jongdae exhaled a breath. Wordlessly, he stepped closer, now beside the bed. He looked at Jongin for a bit, then leaned in and rested his head on top of Jongin's, gently stroking his body into a hug.

"I love you, Jongdae... Please accept it... Please accept me..." Jongin said in a choked back voice and allowed his head to fall against Jongdae's chest.

It seems that even Jongdae's eyes had gathered some wetness, because he sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped around Jongin even tighter while kissing the top of his head.   
"I'm sorry Jonginie..." His voice was deep, airy, and honest.   
"I dont hate you at all---... You've become such a wonderful person--- And I feel like I missed out on so much..." Jongdae admitted with noticeable regret in his voice.

"I've been an idiot." He sniffled as well.   
"I accept you, I accpet it all... I missed you so much. And I love you, too. I'm so tired of this anger... Let's just start again." Jongdae shut his eyes for a little while, immersing himself in Jongin's warmth.   
"Just don't burst into my classroom in tears when you're back. Deal?" He then smiled lightly with wet shiny eyes, and pulled back from the hug to look at Jongin.

They made eye contact for a short while. Jongin seemed a little surprised, but then he laugh-coughed through the tears and attempted to sniff back some more. Jongdae chuckled as well and placed another kiss on his forehead.   
"And don't think we haven't seen you, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo." He teased, turning to look at the two of them standing at the entrance, too shocked to slide a blink. Once Jongin opened his eyes and gave them a shy glance, Jongdae smiled and gestured for the two of them to come over as well.

 

 

Kyungsoo felt the stress in his heart release, and also his eyes drying back to normal again after the wetness they've gathered from the strong emotions that flew in the room. When he glanced at Baekhyun he saw him with the usual sob expression he has when he gets touched by something. With Baekhyun's emotional whines, the delicious food, and Jongin's wet yet renewed smiles of true happiness, the hospital visit felt more like a regular cheerful hangout. And Kyungsoo got to learn a lot more about the shared memories of the brothers from their earlier childhood through their conversations.

He had never heard Jongin's geneuine laughter before that day, but now after hearing it, Kyungsoo felt like he really wanted to make sure that laughter will make many more appearances within his company.

Although the visit to Jongin's hospital recovery room has been a scary experience at the start, it turned into a happy pleasant time spent with the four of them together. Kyungsoo has seen Jongin around from time to time in the past, laughing and smiling, but he never looked as happy and relaxed as he did in today's visit. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo left before Jongdae did. But not before making sure to wish for Jongin's quick recovery again.

"These two are idiots... I feel so relieved now that things got better. I hope they'll be able to maintain their relationship this well." Baekhyun said as they've made their way back home.   
"I feel like since they love each other so deeply, they will be able to make it work." Kyungsoo replied with a smile, enjoying the way his feet press on the thin layer of snow on the ground.  
"I'm glad I mentioned it in front of Jongdae. Even if it was by accident." He admitted, and Baekhyun nodded warmly in return.

That night, Jongdae added Jongin to the 'Husbands' group chat, and everyone greeted the newcomer happily. Sehun, Chanyeol and Jongin almost immediately fell into a funny conversation in the group chat, which resulted in Minseok having to scold them for texting so late during the night. Ah, Kyungsoo was truly happy.

He was even happier the next morning at school, when they sat during the break and Jongdae updated them further about Jongin's recovery process and expectations of hospital release.  
"Jongin really is amazing..." Kyungsoo hummed with a small smile across his lips.   
"Just like he took it upon himself to distract the group standing outside the restaurant... Remember, Sehun?" Sehun nodded.   
"Right as I was about to tell Junmyeon that the plan is cancelled..." He said calmly.

"Huh? What do you mean? What plan?" Baekhyun asked curiously. Oh, wow, Kyungsoo hasn't realized that Baekhyun was yet to know about the fact that his meeting with Yixing was all a part of 'Operation Morons'. And to think it happened quite a while ago too. Jongdae laughed in amusement from Baekhyun's cluelessness, and Sehun smiled lightly before briefly explaining the format of what they'd done with person B and person Y as the targets.

"So, person B was you, and person Y was Yixing. Get it now?" Jongdae asked as Baekhyun stared at them in surprise.   
"It was thanks to Chanyeol's words that we were able to think of such a plan." Kyungsoo mentioned, heart drumming at the thought of Chanyeol's words echoing him in his mind from that day.   
"Whoa... And all this time I thought it was an incredible coincidence... I mean--- I could tell something was going on with you guys for a while beforehand... I just had no idea it had to do with Yixing."

He sighed before stretching and taking out his phone. After a few taps he held the microphone part of the device close to his mouth.   
"You're an idiot." He said into it. Puzzled, Kyungsoo stared in confusion. But moments later Baekhyun tapped on his screen again.   
"I love you too, good luck at school!" Yixing's voice was heard from the phone's speaker, as both Baekhyun and Sehun snickered in amusement.

"Anyway, you said something about Jongin? He wasn't even a part of it, so what did he do?" Jongdae interrupted the sweet moment, looking at Kyungsoo curiously.   
"In the plan, the street was supposed to be empty, right? But as we sat at the restaurant, there were a bunch of people gathering there." Kyungsoo began explaining calmly.   
"Nobody expected it, and we were about to cancel it all, but Jongin came by and distracted the group by making them chase him."

"Whoa... He has no fear anymore..." Jongdae mumbled.   
"He used to be such a fearbul baby boy in the past." Jongdae hummed out, there was affection in his voice.   
"Actually, he looked pretty scared." Kyungsoo chuckled.   
"The next day at school he had a bruise on his face too..." Jongdae placed his chin on top of his palm and sighed lightly. But there was still a smile on his lips.

 

 

The week had passed by quickly, and the more time passes, the happier and luckier Kyungsoo felt. To have gathered such a wonderful group of friends around him, to have the opportunity to see Chanyeol every day at school, to be able to communicate with him even outside of school. Especially after the new years fireworks event at the festival, the two of them have been chatting quite a lot more both at school and outside of it.

They talk about anything, really. From school work, to favourite music releases, to memories from being children and up to chatting about the relationships that have formed in their group of friends. Chanyeol had even told Kyungsoo about his job. It's only a part time job that doesn't pay much, but he gets to learn a lot from it and earn something in the process, so he offered himself for that occupration.

He's a handy mechanical operator of a small recording studio located at the edge of town. The majority of his job is to adjust microphones, connect tangled cables and swipe the floors at the end of the day. But while being there he gets to learn so much about the process of creating music, so he's extremely happy the studio owner accepted his job offering.

Kyungsoo can only imagine how Chanyeol already managed to not only swipe the floors, but also swipe the studio workers' hearts with his lovable charming personality, kindness and beauty. It warmed his heart knowing that Chanyeol is able to begin learning about such things this early, he definitely has the talent and skillset for it.

One morning as Kyungsoo arrived to school and switched up the books in the lockers by the entrance, a figure suddenly loomed behind him, and made him freeze by placing their head on his shoulder from the back. Kyungsoo was surprised, very surprised, but he recognized the figure immediately. It was Chanyeol. Kyungsoo knew that it was him without even looking, because he learned to recognize his scent, and the type of warmth that his body constantly produces that makes Kyungsoo feel so welcome.

He didn't really need to look, but Kyungsoo turned sideways slightly, just to catch a glance. Chanyeo's face was right there, beside his neck, he could hear the way he's breathing so clearly. Was it Chanyeol's heartbeat he felt? Or will Chanyeol be able to tell that Kyungsoo's heartbeat is the one wilding about?

Chanyeol looked peaceful, but tired. His eyes were shut and his lips puckered forward into a pout. Kyungsoo wanted to treasure this moment forever. This sort of closeness... He was surprised he hasn't imploded yet. But more than that, he really, really wanted to pet Chanyeol. Stroke his head, caress his cheek, just, touch him, feel him.

"I stayed at work till late yesterday... Spoke with the main producer for a bit. I'm going to play for him on my guitar soon." Chanyeol then spoke, opening his eyes and smiling at Kyungsoo warmly before removing his head from its incredibly close position. Kyungsoo was in the process of gathering courage to pet him, really, but he was too fast, and pulled away too quickly for it to happen.

"W-Whoa, that's great. You're going to blow him away!" Kyungsoo's heart was still pretty unstable from the sudden closeness he had just encountered, so he spoke quite nervously in an attempt to sound smooth. Chanyeol laughed warmly before petting Kyungsoo's back a few times and nodding.   
"You're right! I will!" He grinned. And Kyungsoo felt like spring has come by earlier than expected with the amount of heat his body produced due to the shyness.

He loves him. Kyungsoo loves Chanyeol so damn much. How is he supposed to take any more of this without popping up like a balloon?

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

 

It's a little over a week into January, and Kyungsoo was only subtly aware of the fact that his birthday is coming up soon. It has never really been a big deal when it comes to birthdays. Normally, the most he would have gotten through the years is a simple birthday greeting from Junmyeon at school.

He used to always ask to tip in when it comes to his classmates' birthdays in middle school, but he got rejected so many times, being Doshio and all, that by the time highschool began he knew better, and decided he wouldn't bother his classmates with it anymore. That's why he had no idea when Chanyeol's birthday occured. He was lucky he found out on time.

For Kyungsoo, the small happy family birthdays are more than enough. Sitting with his parents to a pleasant meal and receiving their gifts has always been a happy event. For his birthday, or theirs, it was the default best way to celebrate. So, vaguely, he knows his birthday is coming, but it's easier to ignore and allow himself to be happily surprised when his parents do their thing for him.

That's what he wanted to do, but a day before his birthday, that will be happening on friday this year, he couldn't help but be a little restless. Mostly because after seeing the way Chanyeol's birthday has been celebrated by everybody possible, anywhere possible. He cared more about the fact that the two of them will be sharing the same age again rather than the meaning of the birthday itself.

He's kind of lucky that he was born so close to Chanyeol's birthday. That way the two of them have a very small gap between them, even though it's a whole different year, there's barely a month and a half between them. Somehow it gives him reassurance that this year's birthday will be wonderful, no matter what happens.

"You seem so fidgety today Kyungsoo!" Baekhyun pointed out as they all pack their bags and prepare to leave school.   
"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I'm looking forward to the weekend. My parents are going to cook delicious food." He smiled gently.   
"Whaaa really? Invite me over~" Baekhyun replied, pouting out and wrapping around Kyungsoo's shoulders in a needy hug.   
"Guess I should be looking forward to the weekend as well." Jongdae hummed while thinking, then he turned to the two others with a smile. Sehun was walking behind them as well.   
"It's going to be Jongin's birthday on sunday. I already got him a gift and all that." Everybody seemed quite surprised.

"I'm not sure how we'll do it with the fact that he's in the hospital and all that. But I'll update you guys if there are any plans." Jongdae smiled reassuringly. Whoa... That means Jongin's birthday is only two little days after himself? No wonder they were able to get along this well. He should probably prepare something for Jongin as well in case there'll be a chance for him to hand it over around the right time.

Kyungsoo had made it home, thought for a while about a proper gift for someone like Jongin, then decided what to do and spent the afternoon sewing an adorable bear shaped embroidment onto a knitted heat pack holder that can be tied around different body parts. It's the perfect gift for Jongin who's going through recovery right now. Hot packs are very useful, and being able to use them while they look cute is just a bonus for his handsome face. It will come in handy for many winters to come regardless of any recovery at all, too. Happily he sewed while the delicious food his parents were already cooking for tomorrow's birthday feast spread amazing scents throughout the house.

It took him quite a while to finish, and by the time he got to bed it was nearly midnight. So he lied in bed and read through the different group chats on his phone. Everyone are so funny when texting like this and not speaking. Although the messages are simply letters, he could tell exactly who is who by the way they type and the feel of their text.

For example, Minseok can type in a few different ways. He has his normal talk, which is pretty cute but in a tamed way, he has his serious talk where he types with very definitive dots at the end of his sentences, and... He has his happy cheerful talk. Which is, really, so, so cute. The way he inserts emoticons into the text... Kyungsoo can even see the facial expressions he's making sometimes in his mind through the text.

The same goes for Chanyeol. Actually, its even easier for Kyungsoo to imagine what faces Chanyeol is making behind his messages. Because he is such an expressive person, one can read exactly through his face and understand how he's feeling in an instant. But the problem with texting with Chanyeol is that he enjoys it too much, and gets easily overwhelmed when imagining the way Chanyeol's face shifts as he speaks, or even his voice...

Kyungsoo loves it. He knew that Chanyeol had a shift at work, so he had to leave school quickly instead of hearing about Jongin's birthday. Maybe he should tell him about it? No, there's no way he needs to do that. Chanyeol definitely already knows.

All of a sudden, while lost in thoughts and debates, the phone in his palms vibrated, reawakening him from the near slumber state he had fallen into by thinking about Chanyeol. As he checked the notification it felt like fate really was testing him. Just as he thought about Chanyeol, he'd received a message from him too?

Curiously, he opened up the chat with him, and saw a message decorated with many emojis of confetti and stars.

[ Happy Birthday Cutie Kyungsoo! ]

Was the text, and after it, stood a red heart emoji too. He blinked surprised and checked the time... Exactly midnight. The phone nearly slipped from between his fingers and smacked him in the face from the shock. He completely forgot about his very own birthday while being so distracted thinking about Chanyeol. Secondly... Chanyeol really, just greeted him a happy birthday at the very second it began.

And third, and possibly most shocking of all, Chanyeol called him 'Cutie Kyungsoo' AND sent him a heart with it. If it wasn't Kyungsoo's phone nearly dropping and smacking his face, it would have been Kyungsoo himself dropping down to the core of the earth.

Suddenly his bed felt very hot and the blanket an oven. His cheeks were definitely burning. He was so happy, and yet so lovingly shy, thankful and confused from the message and everything that it might or might not entail. Does the 'Kyungsie' contact name Chanyeol has given him on his phone have anything to do with the words Kyungsoo, and Cutie?

After staring at it for several moments to assess exactly what it could mean, he concluded he'd send back a regular 'Thank you'. It'd be too much for him to handle knowing, let alone asking, if there's anything behind him being called cute, or the heart. Though, Chanyeol had sent him a heart before... But never together with such a bold compliment. Sending a simple thank you, however, felt a little too dry, so he tapped on the screen again.

[ How did you know? ]

[ 'Chanyeolie' is now typing... ]   
Appeared at the bottom of the screen immediately, and with every tap he imagined Chanyeol doing on his screen, his own heart was dancing.

[ I remembered seeing Junmyeon greet you a Happy Birthday on the 12th last year! I'm so glad I was right ]

The message popped, and Kyungsoo's heart nearly dropped yet again. This... This is more than he was prepared for, at all.

Wow. Chanyeol has been paying attention to Kyungsoo this closely to notice such a thing... It happened last year... That means he's been watching over Kyungsoo for long enough to remember the date all this time? This is too much for his heart to take.

Kyungsoo rolled over to the other side of the bed, staring at the conversation with shaking eyes, shaking hands, and speedy trembling heart. This felt like everything just went up side down. It was supposed to be Kyungsoo's role to send Chanyeol a heartwarming 'Happy Birthday' like this when it happened, but not only did he not have a phone... He hadn't even known what the date was until the very last moments. But now... Now the tables have turned and it's Chanyeol who's sending him such a thing instead? What did he do to become this lucky?

He couldn't send anything back for a while, and the typing bubble from Chanyeol's side showed on the screen again.

[ Was I the first? ]

Yes, of course he was the first. He's crazy. He sent the message on the second midnight hit the clock. Has he been waiting to send the message for a while before midnight actually came? Was he anticipating it for Kyungsoo's sake? Kyungsoo's heart felt like it was about to burst soon.

[ Yes, you are the first... ]

[ I'm happy. I'll tell you properly tomorrow. ]

Was Chanyeol's next message, and Kyungsoo could feel the heat from his reddening face burn into the pillow. His fingers were shaking so much that he decided against typing, and instead sent Chanyeol a red heart emoji before shutting his phone quickly and placing it aside, as if trying to get it out of his face before he'll be able to see anything more.

He pulled the blanket over his head in embarrassment and like a cocoon, remained hidden for the night. He could hear the phone buzzing with a response on the shelf, but he will have to deal with it tomorrow. He simply couldn't take any more from just how much happiness was leaving trails of fire all through his body and to the very edges of the fingertips.

 

 

The next morning at school everything seemed to be normal. Everyone were behaving the same as always, nobody said anything about Kyungsoo's birthday at all. Not even Chanyeol, which, unexpectedly, made him feel very relieved. Instead of making a scene before school even began, they saved him the embarrassment.

Or so he thought, until break time came around, and his four classmates all turned to him at once while Chanyeol pulled something out of his bag. Surprised, Kyungsoo stared at the glances they were all exchanging, until suddenly a small cupcake with a single lit candle appeared in front of him in Chanyeol's palm. As if it was some sort of cue, they all began singing him Happy Birthday at the exact same time. Baekhyun and Jongdae were of course louder than the other two, but Kyungsoo felt his heart warming up from how touched he was. Even sehun was singing cheerfully.

"Come on! Blow the candle now!" Baekhyun urged him once the song and claps were over. Other classmates seem to have joined along, at least for the clapping part. And it made Kyungsoo feel shy, but happy. He nodded and shut his eyes. He already knew what to wish for. He always wishes for the same thing no matter what.

In his heart he recites the wish, which consists of nothing more than for these incredible people who constantly make him so happy, to be healthy and happy for as long as possible themselves.

When he opened his eyes, they met with Chanyeol's accidentally. He only caught a glimpse, but the amount of fondness and affection oozing from his eyes was way too much for Kyungsoo to handle. So instead he just blew the candle off for more clapping to ensue.

He felt so lucky and thankful that he's able to celebrate his birthday like this for the first time within the school's vicinity. It'd always get tossed aside, forgotten or ignored in the past, which is completely understandable. But it still felt incredibly nice to experience what it's like to have his special day aknowledged by anybody other than himself and his parents.

"So, how do you usually celebrate your birtdhays?" Baekhyun asked, resting against the corner of Kyungsoo's table with a curiously expression.   
"Oh, normally it's just my parents and me having a nice dinner at home. It's very nice." Kyungsoo smiled through the explanation.   
"And?" Baekhyun persisted.   
"And...? What...?" Kyungsoo was a little puzzled. Was there supposed to be more than that?   
"That's it? That's all you do?" This time it was Baekhyun looking surprised.   
"Yes, it's wonderful. There's a cake and I blow candles there too." Kyungsoo nodded to confirm, and watched how everyone began exchanging glances between one another.

"Well then! I've got good news for you!" Jongdae clapped his palms together and held onto them.   
"This evening Jongin will be brought back home to continue his recovery there. So my parents and everyone here decided we'll throw him a party there." He explained, and Kyungsoo's eyes widened.   
"Whoa, I'm so happy! Jongin's been in the hospital for so long... It must be such a relief for him to get back home. I'm sure he'd enjoy the party." He grinned. It really would be wonderful. Especially if everyone will be there to cheer him up. He knew how well they work as a group to create the most fun possible. Jongin's definitely in good hands.

"Would it be okay if you told me how it was when it's done? I've actually already gotten him a gift, so if I could give it to you beforehand... Maybe you could give it to him for me?" Kyungsoo spoke to Jongdae, thinking about a logical way for him to hand over Jongin's gift for Jongdae to pass it on for his sake. Oh, unless it'll be a problem. Jongdae must be busy preparing for it himself... He might have to find a different way to bring it to Jongin on time.

"What are you talking about? Why would you give it to me?" Jongdae asked with a raised eyebrow, confirming that Kyungsoo's worries must have been justified. He's right, it'd be way too selfish of him to throw this task on Jongdae, who will have his own things to take care of as well.   
"Give it to him at the party yourself, silly!" Jongdae laughed and patted Kyungsoo's shoulder lightly. Kyungsoo stared at him for a moment.   
"I-I'm also invited...?"   
"Of course you are! That party will be for Jongin AND for you! How could you even think otherwise." Jongdae snickered and continued explaining a bit more about the plan, while Kyungsoo's heart kept heating up even more. He was so happy that he'll be able to join everyone for this party. It's such a relief that Jongin's condition has gotten good enough to return home already.

After an exchange of texts between Jongin and him, the two of them decided that they wouldn't be accepting any individual gifts, that'd be too much of a hasstle for people to get within such a short notice.

And just like that, the birthday had arrived. Kyungsoo managed to celebrate privately with his parents on friday night, and then again with Jongin and everyone else on sunday evening. It's true that none of the boys brought either of them any gifts, but Jongdae and Jongin's parents gave them something anyway. Jongin received a pair of jeans, and Kyungsoo got a large comfortable looking sweater that he knew will serve him all through the end of winter and spring.

The party itself wasn't as chaotic as the Christmas party they've thrown only several weeks ago, but rather a calm one that consisted mostly of the delicious food and the simple easy board games that Jongin could also participate in. The night was finished by all of them sitting and watching a movie together before leaving in the snowy weather. Everything was so calm, warm, friendly, welcoming and filled with love. Kyungsoo wouldn't have changed that feeling for the world. He was seriously lucky that his friends are such kind people that made him feel like he really belongs and worth celebrating for. Up until this year, he hadn't realized birthdays can be this happy.

Chanyeol too, on their way back home together, made the experience slightly more memorable by over-dramatically pretending he was in an apocalyptic action movie, battling against a terrible snowstorm that fell upon the earth. He walked slowly, stomping through the snow on the ground, and covering his face with his arms, as if strong winds are pushing him backwards.

Kyungsoo laughed so hard, it was absolutely ridiculous, especially since the air was so gentle that the snowflakes remained fully in tact until their arrival to a surface of sorts. Eventually Chanyeol had stopped his show, laughing and grinning at Kyungsoo with childish shyness of joy.

"Did you have fun today?" He then asked, huffing against his own palms to heat them up before rubbing them together and sliding them into his own coat's pockets.   
"Yeah. Jongin looked so happy... He must have missed home a lot." Kyungsoo nodded calmly, listening to the soft yet crunchy noise that comes along with every step they take. The snow was clear and airy, so the layer wasn't nearly as thick as Chanyeol pretended it was.

"Yeah, It was nice seeing him feeling this free again. But did YOU have fun today?" Chanyeol asked again, this time looking directly at Kyungsoo's eyes curiously. Oh... Has he answered wrong? Kyungsoo only then realized that he hadn't even said a word about how he himself felt about it in his answer. But well, Jongin's happiness was a big factor in the experience. Just like Kyungsoo found out before, Jongin's laughter would make anything better.

Kyungsoo thought for a little while, his eyes focused on the little giraffe peeking on the scarf under Chanyeol's coat.   
"I did. I had a lot of fun. Never celebrated my birthday with friends before, not since kindergarten, probably." He chuckled lightly. "This day will be treasured in my memories for a long time." Kyungsoo nodded in reassurance, before averting his eyes sideways and feeling his heart race a little faster.   
"I was really surprised when you messaged me that night..." Kyungsoo then admitted shyly.

Chanyeol chuckled himself and stepped to stand even closer by Kyungsoo's side. He could feel his body heat... His scent... He was so warm, so lively, right beside him. Kyungsoo would have been able to hug him if only he tried.   
"I actually set the date in my phone's calendar last year already... A reminder was supposed to pop up and let me know it's coming, but I remembered before it could sound the alarm, so I sat and waited for the exact second to pass. I won the race to your heart, so it was worth it." He explained, then grinned widely. Were his ears, cheeks and nose pink because of the snow? Or because of something else?

Kyungsoo stared up at him for a little while, before a loud thump hit inside his chest and he quickly turned to look away, feeling his entire face heat up with shyness and embarrassment. Won the race to his heart... Oh, if only Chanyeol knew that the race had already been won a long time ago. How can it be a race if there's only one competitor?   
"Y-Yeah... You were the first to congratulate me." He admitted, and gave Chanyeol another wary glance.

To his surprise, he saw that Chanyeol was looking down at the ground in front of them, smiling to himself with shiny eyes while his hand was holding lightly onto the edges of the red scarf Kyungsoo had made for him for his very own birthday. Seeing this made Kyungsoo regret not giving Chanyeol more gifts. Even if it's Kyungsoo's birthday, giving Chanyeol a gift was more of a gift for himself than anything else. Chanyeol looked so happy, so pleased and satisfied... Such a small gift could become this useful and valueable for him... Kyungsoo felt his heart melting inside his chest.

"We're closer now, right? Since we're sharing the same age again." Chanyeol asked, bringing Kyungsoo back to reality. "Ah, yes."  
"Good. It feels good to be this close to someone." Chanyeol admitted softly, and it threw Kyungsoo to yet another round of questions and thoughts about his intentions and meanings. Close to someone by age? Does the number matter? Close to someone by heart? Or maybe just because they're walking closely together to keep the heat between them?

"I hope we'll get to celebrate many more birthdays together, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol's words repeated in his mind after they've parted ways. Kyungsoo hoped they'll get to celebrate many more birthdays together, too.

 

 

February was approaching quickly, and Kyungsoo could barely believe that the most wonderful year of his life is already at its ending arc. Before he'd be able to grasp anything, they'd already be preparing for yet another summer vacation, and then, senior year. Actually, maybe he's stressing about it too much because he just found out how to open and use his calendar application on the phone. And after examining the dates of the school year he realized so much of it had already passed.

He just had to check it out and learn what it was after hearing Chanyeol used it to keep track of the time passing until his birthday.

"Oh! Kyungsoo, I see you've started using the calendar?" Chanyeol popped up behind him, his face hovering barely above Kyungsoo's shoulder, throwing him back to the time he simply rested his head on Kyungsoo out of sleepiness. He tried his absolute best to now show any signs of his heart nearly exploding in his chest. Kyungsoo didn't expect Chanyeol to show up like this while he's just standing near the toilets and fiddling with his phone.

"N-Not really, I only recently learned how to open it." He admitted and glanced over at Chanyeol, refusing to turn his head, otherwise their faces will be way too close and he didn't know how his body would react to that.   
"Hmmm... Seems like you still haven't really gotten the hang of using a phone yet." Chanyeol hummed, reaching his arm behind Kyungsoo's other shoulder as if to pull him under his arm on purpose.

It was almost like Chanyeol was caging him in his arms from behind. But he just tapped something small on Kyungsoo's phone screen that made everything fall back in order. Kyungsoo wasn't sure if he was impressed, or if he should have been embarrassed from the fact that there's no way Chanyeol wassn't able to hear, or feel just how fast his heart was beating.

"Hey, I don't have work today. Wanna come over to my place? I could help you learn some more. Plus, I wanted to let you hear the piece I'm practicing for the studio's producer." Chanyeol suggested, an anticipating smile spread on his lips while his arm then properly pulled Kyungsoo gently by shoulders into a side hug. Kyungsoo's mind was losing its connectivity to reality as they spoke, so without even thinking he turned to look up at Chanyeol and nodded in agreement.   
"I would love to hear it."

God. He was about to burst. Did he just agree to visit Chanyeol's house today after school on a whim? He's a fool. He should have declined, he should have given an excuse so he'd be able to at least dress up properly and prepare himself.

All through the rest of school Kyungsoo was in an internal state of panic, but since Chanyeol was right there in class, he couldn't even tell Baekhyun and Jongdae about the exciting news of him going to visit Chanyeol that afternoon. Ah... He really wished he could talk with them and ask for advice beforehand. Both of them have experience when it comes to... Well... Being around a person they love.

After school everybody hung out together on the way back, before splitting to their directions. Which left Chanyeol and Kyungsoo to walk through the usual path they cross every morning, and towards the corner where Chanyeol waited for him when they had to meet during the previous summer vacation. This would be the first time Kyungsoo would actually take the turn instead of continue along with the path. The turn that normally parts them at the end of each day, now leads them both to the rest of their trail.

Well, they live in the same block of houses, so it isn't that far away from Kyungsoo's place to begin with. And yet, somehow this is a spot he has never visited before. After passing through some quiet side streets with barely a single car in the distance, they stopped in front of a simple two story house, very similar in design to Kyungsoo's own.   
"We're here~ Let's go." Chanyeol smiled and headed to the door, pulling out his key and opening it quietly. As soon as the door opened, the view of the house's kitchen was revealed in front of them both.

In there, against the side wall of the kitchen, by the dining table, stood a woman. She wore a pink flowery apron around her hips... But it was definitely not what Kyungsoo would have expected to see a mother look like.

She was looking towards the door with a face filled with fear, anger, and confidence, a large sharp knife in one hand, while her phone opened and ready to call in the other. She looked scary, but more than that, she looked scared.   
"Mom! It's just us." Chanyeol quickly called out, lookin stressed himself as he hurriedly took his shoes off and rushed over to her with his arms carefully beside his body. "Oh, Chanyeolie." She blinked surprised and immediately put the phone and the knife away, wiping her slightly damp hands on her apron with a smile.

She smiled over Chanyeol's shoulder towards Kyungsoo who stood by the door still stunned, blank minded.   
"Come on in! I'm just done making lunch." She called cheerfully. Whatever fear, anger and stress that took over her before was all gone. Her movements were smooth and gentle, filled with motherly warmth. After Kyungsoo took off his shoes and shook her hand while bowing in the introduction, he started thinking that maybe his imagination had played a giant trick on him.

It seemed impossible that whatever he had seen when he entered was real. She was the most wonderful little mother he had seen welcoming him into a house.   
"Mom, this is Kyungsoo. My classmate, and good friend."   
And all thoughts about her were gone at the moment Chanyeol had introduced him that way. Is he... Chanyeol's good friend? That's the best rank he's ever thought he'd be getting from Chanyeol. Actually, from anybody in his whole life. And to think he's gotten to it after barely a year of knowing each other... His heart was dancing in content.

They sat together with Chanyeol's mother and ate a lovely delicious italian style lunch. Kyungsoo very gladly listened to her decribe the recipes and techniques to cook certain things in a certain way. He had already forgotten about whatever it was that his imagination pranked him with earlier. She was one of the most pleasant women he had ever met. And shortly later they were already up in Chanyeol's room with full bellies.

 

 

Sitting down on the soft carpet on the floor was comfortable, they both leaned their backs against the side of Chanyeol's bed, and Kyungsoo scanned the contents of the room with his eyes. The smell in the room was musky and warm, yet had a certain grace. It was adorable looking in a way. Very simple in its base, but filled with lots of childish things. So many plushies were resting on the bed, along with the little penguin from the arcade. There was a toy car on one of the shelves, and the guitar was restng in its stand against the wall. Chanyeol is so cute. And Kyungsoo hoped he was able to maintain a steady pulse rate although it was way higher than the usual already from the fact that he's located in Chanyeol's room beside him.

There were a few old pictures of Chanyeol on the walls. Pictures of him with his parents, with his older sister. There was also one nail hanging bare on the wall, where it looks like a photo should be hanging instead, but was taken off at some point and never replaced. When Kyungsoo turned to look at Chanyeol, he wanted to ask him about it, but instead he found him looking down at the floor sadly.

"Chanyeol...?" He asked quietly, and Chanyeol raised his head and smiled at Kyungsoo apologetically.   
"I probably owe you an explanation." He sighed lightly and ran a hand through his hair. Kyungsoo knew right away that he meant it regarding the extremely odd hostile stance his mother was holding when the door of their house had opened. Though it was still hard for him to believe it was real.

"Does the name Park Seungho ring a bell?" Chanyeol asked, and Kyungsoo thought for a moment.   
"I think... He was a famous musician in the past. I remember my mom used to like him. But then she stopped at some point." Kyungsoo recalled as much as he could. He was surprised he remembered this much.   
"Yeah... Seungho is my uncle." Kyungsoo blinked surprised at Chanyeol's reveal. But then... Why would Kyungsoo's mother stop liking him all of a sudden?

"He used to be such a big hit in the past. But today barely anybody knows his name. That's because shortly after his big break he... Fell into the temptations and began doing really bad things." Chanyeol continued. "Drugs, alcohol, dark businesses... He got himself messed up. Nearly died a few times too." He huffed and ran another hand through his hair.   
"I was still in elementary school when he moved in with us. My sister was just finishing highschool and preparing to move out for college. It was exciting to meet him, even though we knew of his bad involvements. We thought he was still a cool nice uncle."

Chanyeol nodded through his words, sounding like he's trying to convince himself more than anything else.   
"My parents always worked hard for my sister and me. But they worked even harder every day to try and accomedate to his needs." Kyungsoo can tell that Chanyeol must have been deeply bothered by the scenario he's revealing. An uncle coming to live with them after being involved in such terrble things... Kyungsoo would have been too scared to accept that even now, let alone as a child.

"I was just a kid back then... I got so upset about it. I wanted things for myself too! You know? Toys, games, normal kids things. They are MY parents, so they should take care of what I need, not him, right? I deserve it because I'm a child and he's and adults, and adults can take care of themselves." He said in a pouty teasing voice, as if imitating his own past self. It made the slowly darkening atmosphere a little lighter, but it didn't last long, because Kyungsoo could already assume that things didn't quite go as child-Chanyeol wanted.

"Then I began middle school. Which meant that I spent a lot more time at home to study instead of playing outside... So I was exposed more often to my uncle. My... Drunken dangerous uncle." Chanyeol shut his lips together for a moment, and Kyungsoo could feel that there's a block of painful memories falling on top of his heart at this very moment. His expression turned serious.   
"I became... My uncle's source of relief. I guess is the way to call it. Whenever he was angry he'd call me just to kick me around, tease me, and pull really painfully on my hair..." Chanyeol sighed with a troubled expression.

"I hated it. I came to hate him, too. But more than that, I hated feeling hatred. So I tried my best to wear my happiness on my sleeve at school, with friends. I wanted to make so much happiness with them, so it'll cover the traces of pain and hatred from my uncle." he spoke in a quieter, deeper tone.

"My family started crumbling under the financial issues he had caused us. It got worse and worse... He kept drinking even more, and I even saw him steal money from my parents' wallets to purchase drugs in secret. I couldn't tell them... I knew that if he heard he'd do something I will regret." Chanyeol spoke, this time the pain and fear bold in his voice. Kyungsoo could hear how speaking about this made Chanyeol's chest feel tight and stuffy.

"But they could tell I was hiding something, and when I told them... They began arguing with him." Chanyeol gulped and huffed out, he was so tense, even his hands were clenching into fists over his knees.

"He called me over... And like a fool I listened. Then he began beating me right in front of my parents, I couldn't see anything, not until he grabbed me by the hair and put a knife to my throat. It was so stupid of me... He had a damn razor blade in his hand, and got his own fingers cut on it. The blood kept dripping down my hair--- Ugh--- It was seriously disgusting. Like a hostage in a movie or something crazy like that." He spoke with an angered yet fearful sort of voice, laced with shudders that made his skin crawl. Kyungsoo could see it.

"I saw that my parents wanted to jump on him and end it right there, but they were so scared he'd hurt me... So they complied to his demands. It was fucking terrifying. What could I have done? Just a middle school kid that looks like a beaten noodle." Chanyeol attempted to turn it into something amusing, but even with his obvious fake smile there was nothing but pain on his face.

"They did what he wanted... Then he took off like he never existed, and I was rushed to the hospital. Other than a slightly cracked rib and a swollen arm there was nothing terribly wrong, so I was released after less than a week." The stress and intense aura of fear had started to mellow and fade down into the floor of his room.   
"When I got back the first thing I did was buzz my hair off. I didn't want it to be pulled like that again, or feel the drips on my head--- You know?" He huffed the air that was left confined in his lungs, and the atmosphere in the room had eased down as well.   
Ah... So that's why Chanyeol had such a short hair at his middle school's year book photo.

"He never came back again, but my parents are still... Worried. That's why my mom acted weird. Everything is good now though, my hair's all grown again and I know damn well nobody could lay a hand on me anymore. So there's no reason to worry or anything." Chanyeol explained with his recovered calmness. Each exhale helped him let out the last bits of stress that gathered in him through the story's progress.

Then he finally turned to look at Kyungsoo with a gentle smile on his lips, so he'd look hopeful and reassuring. But... His eyes widened when he saw Kyungsoo, and he changed his position to face Kyungsoo better in slight panic.   
"H-Hey--- Don't cry, I'm sorry, I didn't think it'd be this bad---..." Chanyeol flailed his arms around for a bit before snatching a pack of tissues and handing it to Kyungsoo quickly.

Kyungsoo hasn't even realized that he'd been crying while listening. His mind was in a blank state the entire time. It felt more like he just watched a movie... Except, the movie was real. It was Chanyeol's actual reality. So he quietly used the tissues to clean himself up.

"Sorry..." Chanyeol repeated again with an apologetic smile, then straightened his back with confidence and held his hands together, looking around the carpet.   
"Anyway, we came here for the phone, right? Let me show you all the other cool things you can do." He smiled, changing the mood back to the usual happiness that always surrounds him.

What is Kyungsoo supposed to do...? After hearing a part of Chanyeol's life that has cause him this much pain, he couldn't even think of anything at all. He simply placed the phone in Chanyeol's palm in silence. Out of instinct to comply to whatever Chanyeol says.

He couldn't believe it. He couldn't understand how Chanyeol has been through all of this... A terrible, awful overwhelming pain that lasted for so long, and yet... Yet he's him. After all that he's still the way he is. Chanyeol never deserved any of what he had to go through, he deserves the whole world and even more. If there was an angel walking this earth, it'd be Chanyeol.

People who go through so much pain often turn bitter, distant and cold. They try to make others feel what they felt to achieve some sort of inner balance, to give themselves an excuse, some sort of justification for what they've passed. But compared to them... There's Chanyeol. His heart is so pure. There's so much love, so much happiness, hope, acceptance and life within him. And Kyungsoo is still having a hard time forgiving that uncle himself for causing Chanyeol any harm at all.

 

 

Chanyeol began talking about phone related things. There was clearly still a storm of emotions happening inside him... So why? Why is he trying so hard to provide happiness at this moment? Why does he so blatantly ignore himself for the sake of someone else?  
Kyungsoo at this moment finally fully understood Chanyeol's words. Sometimes, to be there for someone you love, you have to let them go through the pain, and be there for them as they recover. Hold their hand and keep them above water so they'll learn to stand back on their own. Kyungsoo knew what he had to do.

Kyungsoo must let Chanyeol hurt.

Slowly, he reached his hand out, and placed it over Chanyeol'd palm. The one that's holding his phone. He kept it there, feeling the warmth their touch creates, and looking at their hands touching. Chanyeol turned silent, and Kyungsoo's yet-to-dry eyes have only filled with another layer of wetness.

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault." Kyungsoo said in an airy voice.   
"You're so... So trong. I adore you so much." He continued, feeling Chanyeol's hand starting to shake a little.   
"You don't have to carry this alone anymore." Kyungsoo sniffed, a tear rolling down his cheek.  
"It's okay to fall, it's alright to be unhappy... I... I will be there to catch you when you fall. So please stop being happy--- Just for a bit. Just for now." His voice was trembling slightly as he spoke.

It was then silent for a while, before Chanyeol's hand lowered down to the carpet, and Kyungsoo began worrying that he might have done something wrong. He kept looking at Chanyeol, no smile could be seen on his lips. His head was lowered down, eyes covered by the tips of his hair.   
"Kyungsoo..." Chanyeol's voice was deep and hoarse. Kyungsoo's tears have ceased to gather in his eyes when he saw Chanyeol allowing his body to slowly drop sideways, until his head fell on his shoulder.   
"Then... I'll be sad, for a little." He mumbled against Kyungsoo's chest.

He froze like a statue for a while, and waited patiently for his heartbeat to calm down enough, to the point where he could hear, and also feel the way Chanyeol was just breathing against him. Just... Existing. Chanyeol at that moment, was giving Kyungsoo the deepest look into his soul. Into the depths of his heart where everything just hurts and aches from the way the world had treated him.

Kyungsoo just wanted to protect him. Protect his heart, and smile, protect him so that his happiness will never come at the cost of sadness and fear again. Without saying a word, Kyungsoo raised his hand, and gently began stroking the back of Chanyeol's head.

In any other situation, he would have lost his mind from exchanging such depth-filled intimacy. But right now, it felt so right. While trailing his fingers through the locks of Chanyeol's hair, Kyungsoo felt that in order to keep Chanyeol's heart safe, he'd be able to fight the entire world if he needed to.

More than anything, he felt honored. He was so grateful that he was able to become someone Chanyeol allowd himself to be so loose and free with. Today, Kyungsoo had met another side of Chanyeol. Today, Kyungsoo has fallen deeper in love with him, too.

The silence in the room, the slow and deep feeling of Chanyeol's breathing pattern repeating against his chest, the way the sun was setting outside the window and shining over them in fiery reds and oranges... Kyungsoo could stay like this forever.

After a while, when Chanyeol slowly raised his head to look at Kyungsoo, his energy was already very calm again. There was no hint of sadness left in his heart. The tips of his ears were pink as he laughed softly and sat up, moving closer to Kyungsoo and pulling out another tissue to wipe the tears from his cheeks and eyes again.

"Why are you crying again...?" Kyungsoo sat quietly and looked at Chanyeol's expression as he concentrates on wiping Kyungsoo's own face.   
"I'm just..." He began, wincing lightly with a tissue got close to his eye.   
"I'm really grateful... That you let me be here... And..." He started mumbling against the tissue Chanyeol held near the side of his cheek. Which made him chuckle once more.

"No. Thank you. For being here... For letting me do... Whatever it is I just did. I feel a lot better. Like I've been healed after dealing with an open wound for years." Chanyeol started warmly, but then got a little flustered and gestured aside in an attempt to ease the situation out of the seriousness.   
"Now let's get the phones again." He said, smiling and raising Kyungsoo's device in his hand. Kyungsoo couldn't help but chuckle as well.   
"Yeah."

 

 

The sun had already finished setting as they were diving together through the endless possibilities of activities to do on the phone. From useful tools that'll become handy for Kyungsoo to use, to fun time consuming games, and all the way to silly applications for them both to tease each other with, they've gone back to their normal level of cheerfulness.

Then, as it was nearly Kyungsoo's time to leave, Chanyeol played the musical piece he has been practicing on his guitar. Kyungsoo was more than happy to see that for some of the parts, he even used the pick Kyungsoo himself has given him as a Christmas gift. It was beautiful, and heartfelt, and Chanyeol even hummed along to certain lines of the melody. It was magical, and everything wonderful Kyungsoo knew Chanyeol could play on his guitar.

Later in bed, at night, after they've both washed the remains of the day off, Kyungsoo received an audio file of Chanyeol's piece. Which he played at least three times in a row before finally tapping to reply.

[ It's beautiful. Even better than when I was there. ]

[ Hahaha, don't be silly. But thank you, I'm glad you like it. ]

Was Chanyel's answer, and Kyungsoo smiled at his phone in content until another typing bubble had appeared.

[ And Kyungsoo, thank you for letting me fall, and catching me at the bottom. I really feel healed. If you ever fall, I'll be there to catch you too. I promise. ]

The message appeared, and Kyungsoo's eyes began tearing up again. His heart was thumping fast from just how meaningful this message is to him. Kyungsoo hasn't done anything big... He didn't quite understand he to properly do any of these things. But Chanyeol's promise was more meaningful than anything Kyungsoo could have possibly done. He wanted to see him... He wanted to hear him say these words, see him smiling in that confident way he does when saying important things... He wanted to... Feel him. Stroke his hair, breathe in his scent... Absorb his warmth.

[ Goodnight, Chanyeolie. ]

He replied with a red heart at the end of the message. Then sighed with relief when Chanyeol's red heart came in return.

Chanyeol said he'd be there for him if he'd ever fall... But the one thing Chanyeol doesn't know, is that Kyungsoo is already constantly falling. There's no end to how much deeper in love with him, Kyungsoo will be able to fall.

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

 

 

Jongdae looked extra tired today as he entered class and slipped into his chair lazily. With curious eyes on him, he sighed and looked at everyone with a hint of a smile. "Morning guys. Bet it'll happen in less than a minute." He said, causing all four of his close classmates to glance at each other in confusion.

But just as anticipated, a few seconds later the classroom's door opened wide and there stood Jongin. Tall and handsome and standing on his own with a big excited grin. The only sign left of his accident was his wrapped arm being held close to his chest with a special harness. Not only theirs, but the eyes of the entire classroom turned to look at him in surprise. A crowd of people have gathered around him to welcome him back to school with love, but Jongin nearly ignored them all while striding straight towards their spot at the back corner of the class.

"Good morning!" He cheered at them before kneeling down on the floor beside Jongdae and resting his head onto his brother's chest.   
"Oh my god, Jongin you're back!" Chanyeol called out first, petting his arm lightly.   
"I'm back and better than ever!" He grinned still, and Jongdae rolled his eyes before placing a hand on Jongin's head and stroking through his hair in half a hug.

Kyungsoo exchanged a short chuckle with Baekhyun, remembering how one of Jongdae's conditions to let go of the past and accept Jongin fully into his life, is for Jongin to not do exactly what he just did. Burst into his class and make a scene around him. But oh well, at this point Jongdae looked way too happy himself to express any discomfort at all.

So finally, Jongin was back, and closer to them than ever.

Only during the break Jongdae explained that the reason he's so exhausted was because he sat with Jongin until the little hours of the night the previous day to go over the school's materials and make sure he's up to date with the program. All while Jongin was in hospital it was his classmates who kept him updated, but ever since he returned home it was easier to have Jongdae do it instead.

It did sound tiring, but Kyungsoo could tell Jongdae was actually quite excited himself to finally spend time in school while actively knowing and being proud that his brother is there with him. In the other class, of course, but it's just as meaningful. Kyungsoo felt all fuzzy inside from knowing just how kind hearted and amazing both Jongdae and Jongin are to have been through all of what they have, and still be able to continue their connection this strongly, now together.

He even saw Sohda walking around with Jongin during the break, talking, laughing. She looked genuinely glad to see him around again, with a soft looking smile plastered on her face even after the big change she's been through regarding her attitude and behaviour. The two of them must be a little closer since they are both in the same class together, and had more chances to bond with one another.

Kyungsoo knew that the most he could do was watch over them from afar, because he somehow found himself being a turning point in their lives in one way or another. For Sohda, confronting her own feelings and coming to the realizationg that she was just lying to herself for the sake of seeking validation. For Jongin, showing him that there is something worth waking up in the morning for, showing him that he is valued and deserving of having a good time and a good clean room, and also, the confrontation with the reason he had felt anything other than that to begin with, Jongdae.

Never in his life did he think he'd get involved with these people, or any people at all for that matter, but adventure in the name of Park Chanyeol found his way into Kyungsoo's life, and it has never been going the way he expected since.

 

 

This year for Valentine's, Kyungsoo planned to do exactly what he did last year as well. Except with a little addition. Every year, since the moment Kyungsoo learned whats the meaning behind the tradition of giving others chocolates, he spent an entire day before the date to prepare enough chocolates for the entire class. In middle school he would give the chocolate to the teachers for them to hand it out to the class, but his classmates often refused to eat it, being 'Doshio' and all, he found that they were scared of the chocolate being cursed, or even to contain poison or needles.

He kept doing it anyway, because he really wanted to show his class that he appreciated their presence in his life. Making their day a little sweeter shouldn't be such a big issue, right? In highschool's junior year it worked only because Chanyeol had agreed to take a piece first. And after he smiled and complimented the flavour of the chocolate in approval, everyone else had taken a piece as well.

This year Kyungsoo hoped that they will accept his gesture of appreciation as well. So he prepared extra hard the previous day.

But on top of that, this year he had more chocolate to give away to more people. To show a whole lot more than appreciation. Along with the normal batch of chocolate for his classmates, Kyungsoo had prepared another, way smaller amount, in way higher quality, that will be given to none other than Chanyeol alone.

While working on the chocolate he avoided thinking about it because of how focused he was. But now on his way to school he started feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed for even thinking that giving Chanyeol a chocolate on Valentine's day will be a good idea.

Last year he wanted to do it as well, but ended up throwing the chocolate away after seeing just how many students have given Chanyeol chocolate already during the day at school. There's no way he could compete with any of them back then. But now... Now when the two of them are considered close friends by Chanyeol himself, maybe there will be a chance he will approve of the little choco gift and be able to enjoy it.

As he arrived to class in the morning, carrying an extra bag in his hand, both Baekhyun and Jongdae have given him a teasing smile.   
"Oooh~ You went above and beyond this year~ Is this for... Him?" Jongdae smiled, resting his elbows on Kyungsoo's table and grinning at him. There's only one 'him' Jongdae could be refering to, and he knew who that is. Kyungsoo could already feel his cheeks getting hotter by the thought, but it was still incorrect. The chocolate he was planning to give Chanyeol was located in his school bag, not the extra one he carried sepearately.   
"N-No---... This one is for---" His sentence was cut short by the noise of a large crowd approaching their classroom.

First it was Chanyeol who enetered the classroom, looking a little disheveled, behind him came Sehun, and after the two of them, a whole group of girls and guys from different classes and grades around the school stood by the door and kept whining for Chanyeol to let them in. Holding different packaged chocolate bags in their hands.

Kyungsoo's heart felt heavy at the sight. Just like last year... But even worse. There's no way his chocolate will be remembered if Chanyeol is going to receive this many. He hasn't even planned when to give it to Chanyeol at all, and the day hasn't even started, yet his table is already filled with a mountain of chocolates.

He watched in silence how one of their classmates, Chanyeol's friend acted like a bouncer of some prestigious luxury club, and allowed only one girl or guy at a time into the classroom to hand Chanyeol their chocolate and say a few words. It felt odd, to see how Chanyeol thanked them all with a tired smile and placed it aside in a pile. How on earth is one person alone supposed to eat this many chocolates anyway? Don't the others who want to give him chocolate feel like it's kind of an impossible chance to get an actual heartfelt response when he already drowned in packages and bags of people who are seeking the same thing? Some stingy feeling in Kyungsoo's heart made him feel like he could understand why Sohda wanted to make sure nobody will be seeing Chanyeol as a possible love interest. It looked like torture.

Both Baekhyun and Jongdae also stared at the odd chocolate giving process for a bit, before giving Kyungsoo a look he knew meant that they're feeling sorry for him.   
"It's okay, this one is for everyone." Kyungsoo quickly shifted the atmosphere and placed his own chocolate bag on his table.   
"It's enough for the whole class to share, like last year." He explained.   
"Ahhh! I remember! It was so delicious. Did you use the same recipe this year too?" Baekhyun exclaimed with excitement, trying to sniff the air above the bag in an attempt to get a whiff of the sweet cocoa scent.

When the bell began ringing for classes to start, it seemed that only about half of the girls and guys waiting outside were able to fulfill their dream of handing Chanyeol their self made chocolates, also known as, their hearts and feelings. Because as they scattered to their own classes Kyungsoo could hear their disappointment. This would probably last through the entire day. He turned to see what sort of state Chanyeol was at, and could clearly see he wasn't truly enjoying it. Yes, he was thankful, because of course an angel like Chanyeol would appreciate the effort they have all put into their chocolates for him. But... He looked tired. Like none of it really mattered.

Kyungsoo, just as planned, gave his chocolate bag to the teacher so they'd share it in the classroom, when the opportunity rose. To hiss surprise, this year there was not a single student hesitating to try the chocolate on their own. Everyone seemed excited when it was their turn to receive a piece. Whoever tried it gave Kyungsoo a happy smile of approval, some even clapped or really complimented him for them. Even the teacher couldn't resist and tried a small piece.

He was quite stunned from the astounding positive reaction. Every single year it was an activity he was already prepared would go to waste in case people would be too afraid of his 'Doshio' image to even touch a chocolate he had made. But this year his entire class was beaming with happiness and gratitude for his efforts. Maybe they've all learned from the outdoors festival. With heated cheeks and a shy yet incredibly happy smile, Kyungsoo spent the rest of the classes until the break. Really... So much has changed ever since Chanyeol and the rest of his friends became an active part of his life.

When the break began, Chanyeol, who spent classes sitting in a pile of chocolates around him, rushed out of the classroom as fast as possible. Sehun however, took his time getting up.  
"Whoa, where'd he run to?" Baekhyun asked, still surprised from just how urgent Chanyeol's rush seemed to be.   
"He's gonne hide in the teacher's office. Don't tell anyone I told you." Sehun replied, causing both Baekhyun and Jongdae to laugh. Not Kyungsoo, though.

Ah... So during the break would also be a bad time to approach Chanyeol with the chocolates. Honestly, at this point Kyungsoo is so discouraged about it, he might as well not give Chanyeol his special chocolates at all. Although he was happy when classmates gathered around his table during the break to compliment and discuss the chocolate recipe with him, Kyungsoo still felt like his time was running out.

The next break was only further reason for Kyungsoo to erase his little hopes. The crowd was scanning through the entire school to find Chanyeol in order to give him the chocolates. They weren't even afraid of Kyungsoo at that point, just to ask him if he knows where Chanyeol went since they knew Chanyeol sometimes hangs around him. If they're going as far as asking the one and only 'Doshio' for Chanyeol's whereabouts, he knew he has no chance.

 

 

Eventually the end of the school day has arrived, and Kyungsoo could only hope that the chocolate destined for Chanyeol hasn't fully melted inside his school bag. Although he had already given up, there was still a tiny little hope in him that maybe, since it's the end of the day, he'd be able to find Chanyeol in some sort of private scenario and hand him his own creation.

But after dealing with a whole day of people constantly confessing their true feelings towards him with their own chocolates, why would he feel any different towards Kyungsoo's expression of true appreciation and admiration towards him? Of course, Kyungsoo knew that giving him a chocolate on Valentine's day means a lot more than just this... He'd be giving Chanyeol his heart, in a sense.

Seeing the way Chanyeol kept getting surrounded even as Kyungsoo was leaving the school's grounds was the final straw that broke the camel's back. It was fine. Kyungsoo expected this to happen. He had already felt this before. He will give the chocolates to his parents instead. They'd be very happy to accept his love for them without a crowd of other people trying to do the same. It's beyond question to realize that he was pretty bummed about it. But what could he do, he simply wasn't strong or confident enough like Sohda or the others to push through and do such a thing.

Kyungsoo dealt with these feelings before. Last year he was a little more adamant on successfully handing Chanyeol his chocolates as a token of gratitude for treating him like a human being, but he still failed. And this year... Now that he knew what he was giving Chanyeol meant way more than a simple gesture of thankfulness, it somehow hurt a little bit more to come to the conclusion that he had failed again.

He took his time on the way home. He was walking slowly and even stopped every other step to reconsider his options again, only to come to the same result and giving up on the tiny spark of wish that popped inside him. lingering for a while longer at the usual spot where Chanyeol and him part after each day of school. It was always such a warm and meaningful spot in Kyungsoo's heart, yet today for some reason it felt awfully lonely to stand there and stare at the single turned off street light on his own. So lonely, that he began imagining Chanyeol calling his name from afar.

The calling repeated again and again until Kyungsoo finally realized that it was in fact, not his memory, but Chanyeol himself calling out his name from behind. He turned around, surprised to see Chanyeol running in his direction, nearly completely out of breath. He came running from a different direction than school's. Which means in the time it took Kyungsoo to reach this spot, Chanyeol had already gone somewhere, and returned. Wow, maybe he was taking this a little too seriously and moping too hard for something he had already known would be impossible.

Surprisingly, Chanyeol wasn't carrying any of the chocolates he had received during the day. Why would he run this much just to get to him?   
"Chanyeol? Are you alright?" He asked worriedly as Chanyeol finally reached him, crouching his upper body down with hands on his knees, and huffing out of massive effort. Kyungsoo could only see the way Chanyeol's ears were coated in pink, he must have ran for a while to reach here in this state.

Instead of saying anything, Chanyeol reached out and grabbed Kyungsoo's hand gently, he turned it to be facing upwards, then stood up straight and placed a tiny little tied bag in his hand. It was a small paper bag with a little ribbon wrapped around its top. Definitely looked hand wrapped. Kyungsoo blinked at the bag a little surprised, then raised his eyes to find any sort of hint of what it might be on Chanyeol's face. But Chaneyol just stood there, restoring his breath with a grin. A little bit of sweat was shining on his face, too. Giving him a certain glow.

Carefully he untied the ribbon and opened the bag just enough to look inside. As he did, he found that there lie unevenly cut pieces of what clearly looks like handmade chocolate. Huh..?  
"When I saw you bring the chocolate for the class today, I realized I forgot mine. So here. I hope it's not too bad." Chanyeol said, calming down from his heavy breathing quite quickly. And Kyungsoo couldn't do much but stare in shock.   
"F-... For me...?"   
"Yup! I made more but all the rest got burned." Chanyeol admitted, looking shy as he averted his eyes sideways and began rubbing the back of his head with a little smile.

Kyungsoo's heart hasn't even resumed beating yet from the shock, so he took advantage of the moment of bravery that washed over him and grabbed onto Chanyeol's own hand as well, Turning it upwards just like he did before, he then placed the pack of chocolate he made for Chanyeol in his large palm, and lightly folded his long fingers to grab onto it on his own. He felt his face burning with heat, so there was no point to try and hide the fact that he was most definitely blushing.   
"This one also... Is for you." He looked at Chanyeol's hand for a while, feeling his entire body beating along with his loud heart. When he was finally able to look up and actually face Chanyeol's reaction, he found that more than just his ears were pink now. he looked flustered.

The two of them stood there in silence and stared at each other, one's face getting redder than the other, and Kyungsoo's heart was pounding hard in his ears. It lasted for quite a while until Chanyeol burst into short laughter, and grinned at Kyungsoo right after, looking extremely satisfied and happy.   
"Thank you! I'll eat it for sure. I dropped all of the other chocolates I received today at the kindergarten on my way home to grab this for you." He said, and Kyungsoo's mind got thrown into chaos.

First of all, Chanyeol giving the chocolates away this easily meant he really didn't even think of returning any of the feelings the people who gave him had for him. Which was something Kyungsoo had already guessed from the way his expression looked drained all day. Secondly, he was kind enough to bring it all to a kindergarten for other people to enjoy... He's so kind.

Third and very valuable, he ran all the way home and back here, hoping to meet Kyungsoo. Or so he understood from the way Chanyeol explained his reasoning for being so out of breath. And last but not least... He made chocolate by himself, wrapped it by himself... For Kyungsoo? No, there's no way. Kyungsoo couldn't believe it. But right then a blow of wind flew by, and raffled a small note that was attached to the one side of the pack he hasn't seen.

Quietly, Kyungsoo looked back down at the little pack in his hands again. He turned it around and read the note.

'You're way sweeter than these, Cutie Kyungsoo.'

Suddenly, it felt way heavier, way more meaningful, and more like a precious treasure than it did before. Knowing that Chanyeol has gone through all that effort solely to give Kyungsoo chocolates on Valentine's day turned his insides into a mush.

The two of them parted, barely saying a single word afterwards, as they were both enamored and immersed in their own respectfully received packs of handmade chocolate.

 

 

Only when Kyungsoo made it back home and began preparing for dinner he suddenly realized the true meaning behind the fact that the two of them have exchanged chocolates they've made specifically for one another, with one another. Valentine's day chocolates are supposed to be an unworded confession of love feelings towards the person one's making the chocolate for.

So... Does the fact that the two of them gave each other chocolates they've made themselves mean they are technically exchanging the same sorts of feelings with one another? Is this the sort of unworded approval that the whole day is all about? Kyungsoo would have loved to believe that. But there's absolutely no way that Chanyeol shares the same romantic feelings to Kyungsoo, that Kyungsoo has for him.

Kyungsoo couldn't stop thinking about it all through dinner. And he didn't know if it was just a coincidence or not, but a little after dinner was done, he received a message from Chanyeol, too.

[ The chocolate was delicious! Way better than the one you gave in class! ]

[ Yours was also a treat. ]   
He replied humbly. The chocolate really was delicious. It didn't even matter what flavour it had. The fact that Chanyeol made it himself, especially with the thought of giving it to Kyungsoo in mind, made it the best thing he's ever eaten.

[ I'm really happy. Happy Valentine's day Kyungsoo. ]  
Chanyeol sent back, with a red heart right after.

Kyungsoo got quite overwhelmed by the uncertaincy of Chanyeol's confession of happiness, and with the tremble of his fingers he accidentally sent Chanyeol an emoji of clapping hands instead of the one he intended. With a gasp he quickly searched and properly sent a heart right after. Moments later Chanyeol replies with a long line of 'hahaha' and another even longer line of different types of hearts. Every single possible heart emoji available to use. Kyungsoo could practically hear Chanyeol's laughter in his mind. Even through the loud beating of his own heart.

 

 

If he thought time was passing too fast until now, Kyungsoo could barely get a grasp on the fact that the final exam period of sophomore highschool year is coming to an end. Once this will be done, they'll be free of all responsibilities for the year, and school will turn into a gathering space for students to have fun rather than study. Last year, after the exams had ended, Kyungsoo didn't enjoy coming to school at all, because instead of actually doing something there he simply sat all day alone and watched his fellow classmates create memories together without him.

As the deadline for the exams was coming near, Chanyeol had suggested opening a studying group at school during the afternoons. Everyone approved their arrival, but in the end, only Sehun and Kyungsoo showed up to meet Chanyeol in their classroom. Sehun just napped through the entire study session, and when it was time to leave he said he came by just because he thought there will be snacks involved. It was funny, and resulted in only Chanyeol and Kyungsoo keeping up the study sessions at school on their own.

For the rest of their meetups Kyungsoo took Sehun's advice, and even brought some home made snacks and drinks for them to share so they wouldn't lose energy through it. Mostly for himself, because he knew he had a hard time studying hard for something when it's about school work. But Chanyeol has been so wonderful and patient towards him. Repeating the same explanation three and four times if he noticed Kyungsoo was still having troubles with something.

After the weeks of stress and worries, final exams were over. Somehow, Kyungsoo had made it quite well. He wasn't as bright as to shine at the top of their class, but considering he got a positive average on every single one of the subjects, he was in a pretty good zone. More than anything, he kept thinking about how thankful he is for Chanyeol's hard work to help and teach him. Putting this much effort to bring him up out of his own will... Chanyeol's heart is so pure, and Kyungsoo loves him beyond all imagination.

 

 

The entire classroom could feel summer tingling at the tips of their fingers. Every hour spent in class felt like was sped up to double the usual speed because of the anticipation. It was already hot enough, barely anyone was wearing the school uniform's vest anymore. There was a buzz of excitement in the air for the summer plans to take place.

A bunch of classmates have began thinking about a fun activity to suggest as a final gesture of togetherness for the class to share together before summer finally started again. At first they came up with the idea of having another test of courage in the park at night, exactly like last year.

Except this year none of them worried about approaching Kyungsoo and asking him to act like the ghost again. Kyungsoo felt elavated, and so loved, that his classmates are trusting him enough and aknowledging the fact that his ghost-like self is actually no more than a wrong impression. Of course he agreed, building up layers and layers of excitement inside for the upcoming event, he was so glad he will be able to become useful for them again.

In the end however, the plan got scrapped and exchanged with a big event of karaoke with the whole class. Apparently one of the students' parent works there, and managed to book the event hall for all of them. This will be one of the greatest celebrations Kyungsoo has ever been to. There will be so many people from school there, too. He finally felt like a proper part of the class when he got invited by his actual classmates and not only after hearing about it from the ones who are his close friends.

"S-Should we dress in a special way for the event tonight?" Kyungsoo asked Baekhyun and Jongdae as they all began packing their schoolbags to head back home and begin preparing for the class party.   
"Nah~ Not really. Just make sure you're comfortable." Jongdae waved his hand dismissively.  
"But you could try and look a little chic for somebody~" Baekhyun grinned teasingly, glancing over at Chanyeol's direction. Kyungsoo's heart thumped a bit stronger for a moment before he pouted at Baekhyun shyly.   
"Hahaha so cuteee!" Baekhyun wrapped Kyungsoo into a hug as they exit the classroom.

Later that afternoon, Kyungsoo stood in front of his closet for at least half an hour, just trying figure out which combination of clothes will look 'chic' together like Baekhyun mentioned. Most of his attire consists of black, but there's a limit to how innovative black can be. After digging a little through his closet he found a pair of light blue jeans. And with that discovery, he managed to throw on an outfit that wouldn't make him look too grim.

He arrived right on time, wearing a black short polo shirt with white outlines, and the pair of light blue jeans that he had folded upwards at the bottom of his ankles to avoid dragging the fabric on the ground under his shoes. It was something he's used to doing due to his relatively small frame. He felt comfortable and formal at the same time, and once he entered, he was very glad to see Jongdae already there chatting with a few other classmates. Baekhyun and Sehun arrived together shortly after. And the last to appear was Chanyeol. Dressed in a pair of black jeans and a printed T-shirt with a cool design.

Shortly after everybody's arrival, the class president, none other than Seungwan, raised a toast of juice and congratulated everyone for passing the year, she also greeted them with health and safety through the summer's freedom. And then, after all the formal seriousness, the fun began. Quicker than Kyungsoo had anticipated the whole area became noisy and loud with chatter.

People were singing, playing games, eating, drinking, just standing and chatting, it felt a lot like the previous event they've thrown in the karaoke room, but this time everyone were way more excited, and looked way more formal. It really felt like an event of an ending of some sort. Like everyone were trying to make the best out of it because they know it'll be the last chance to do so until next school year begins.

Obviously, Kyungsoo's attention gravitated towards Chanyeol. Although he was doing various other things with Jongdae, Baekhyun and some other classmates, he couldn't help himself. He kept watching Chanyeol from afar. Seeing how he's having fun, being so kind to everyone, laughing, teasing other students. It was beautiful. It made Kyungsoo feel double the amount of happiness he would have felt for only himself.

At some point Chanyeol had even approached him and suggested hanging together in the party. Baekhyun and Jongdae grinned while parting from him. He knew they were happy to see that Kyungsoo got to spend time with Chanyeol alone, even if they're surrounded by other people. The two of them sat and talked with a few classmates for a while, then they played a few rounds of billiard at the table, then Chanyeol even convinced Kyungsoo to sing in the karaoke, which surprised many of their school fellows in the event to hear that he was able to sing so well.

Before Kyungsoo realized the time was passing, the event has come to an end. Students began leaving in a steady stream. Even Baekhyun, Jongdae, Jongin and Sehun greeted him goodbye before exiting the room. Eventually, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo parted with the few classmates who remained in the building, and began making their way back home together. Since their path continued to walk them so.

On their way home everything felt good. The air was clear and cool compared to the daytime's heat, the sky was shining brightly with stars and no clouds to hide them. The spring has given the streets a coat of greenery and many other colors of different flowers and plants. The colors were bright and noticeable even in the darkness of the night. Everything felt good, and alive. Kyungsoo did too. Chanyeol was the one holding most of the conversation, although the journey started in silence, Chanyeol began speaking at some point, and it made everything even better.

He talked about how happy he was that summer vacation is coming, because he wouldn't have to spend so much time on school responsibilities anymore, and maybe even improve his opportunities when it comes to his musical passions. He talked about how many things he hoped he'll be able to do during the summer, like hiking, like going to the beach, watching movies, and many more. He talked about how glad he is that the heat is back, because winter is always tough for him to get through with how the cold always pierces right into his bones. Kyungsoo could listen to him talk forever. And at this moment it felt like the two of them really will be able to let it happen. With Chanyeol's easy flow of conversation and Kyungsoo's rightfully timed gestures and hums of interest and understanding.

But eventually, just like every single time they have to part ways, they've made it to the usual spot under the streetlight, which signaled the divergence of their paths to reach home. Honestly, Kyungsoo would have loved to continue standing and chatting right there, and it seemed like Chanyeol was also willing to allow this to proceed. But everything comes to an end, and that includes this night.

Everything does come to an end, but it still isn't the end of the world. Although summer vacation means there will be no school to see Chanyeol at, the two of them still have each other's numbers, and although Kyungsoo was still nervous and shy, he knew he could contact Chanyeol at any time and get a reply.  
They've exchanged a friendly goodbye with each other, he turned and began walking away.

Kyungsoo was happy. He truly was. But for some reason, thinking more and more about the fact that he wouldn't have any actual reason to see Chanyeol for so long during the summer, other than his own possible selfishness, made him feel stressed. Like time was running out and disappearing between his fingers. There's so much he wanted to tell Chanyeol, so much he'd say if only he had the time.

He's going to miss him so much. He's going to miss having Chanyeol sit beside him in class, he's going to miss the smiles they exchanged, the lessons he's learned from him, the warmth and radiating liveliness that oozes off of Chanyeol at all times. How would he possibly spend the entire summer without his sun?

He has to tell him. He has to let Chanyeol know.  
Something suddenly pierced deep inside his heart, and with every step he took further away from Chanyeol's house, he felt like more and more sand was spilling out of an hourglass counting back the time. His breathing turned a little heavy when he realized that his hands were shaking.

 

 

He wants to see him again. They've just parted ways... But he wants to see Chanyeol again. There was a large black hole sinking everything inside him, he can't allow this to happen. It is time. Kyungsoo himself wasn't sure what this feeling of urgency was, but he knew it was time. Time for something big.

Kyungsoo stopped in his spot and made a sharp turn all the way around, it felt like the stars in the sky were all rooting for him. In quick steps, he began walking back in the path towards Chanyeol's house. Following the path he remembered from the last time he visited him. He knew that the situation at their place is a little sensitive, so he waited outside the gate and called Chanyeol on the phone instead when he made it over. It was answered only after a single ring.

"Kyungsoo? Hey, is everything alright?" Chanyeol sounded worried.   
"Yes, could you... Uhm. Could you please come down?" He asked, a little nervous. The curtain of the window on the second floor moved, and behind the glass Chanyeol's face stared down at him in surprise.   
"Right there." He heard Chanyeol say before the call was hung up. Less than a minute later, Chanyeol rushed outside of his house and towards Kyungsoo.

He really wanted to tell everything he just felt to Chanyeol. Although, now having Chanyeol stand in front of him like this made him doubt whether or not this will be a smart decision. But instead of falling back to his old ways of fear and worry, Kyungsoo decided to trust the confidence he had learned to grow thanks to Chanyeol, and go with his gut instead. He stood there in front of Chanyeol nervously for a little while, but after a gulp, took one of his hands and held it between his own two palms.

"I like you." Kyungsoo said, looking down at the large hand he's holding, feeling his heart slowly speeding to catch up with what he's doing.   
"No, I love you, Chanyeol. I can't---... I can't hold it in anymore... Otherwise my heart will just explode right inside my chest." He tightened the hold on Chanyeol's hand a little and huffed out, still unable to raise his head and look up.

"E-Ever since I met you, back when I showed you the direction to school, I began admiring you... Even on that day, you already showed me kindness. Other people would have apologized to me and ran away... But you, you smiled, and thanked me--- And... I felt like I finally really exist." Kyungsoo thought he'd be done with what he had in his heart once he'd confessed to Chanyeol how he felt, but it seemed that he felt a lot more than he realized. There's no stopping it now.

"I always saw you being surrounded by people, and I wanted to become more like you. I wanted to be able to spread happiness and joy the same way." He sighed, his hands were shaking a little.   
"Even without trying, you taught me a lot. I used to be afraid of approaching people because of the first impressions everyone always had of me." His mind recalled memories of disappointment and painful loneliness.   
"I am Doshio, after all, everybody knew that." Kyungsoo sighed again. "But ever since we began talking, well... More like, ever since you began talk to me, I gained so much confidence."

Kyungsoo was very glad that his hands didn't start sweating yet.   
"I feel like a new person now. I can trust my own feelings, and I know how to understand what other people are feeling. It's all thanks to you." He continued, feeling like his entire body is burning in flames from the inside.

"At the beginning I wanted to be like you... And now, now I want to become someone who would be good enough for you to accept. Someone worthy of being liked by you." Kyungsoo gulped.   
"I thought you were like a perfect god, a flawless being above everyone else. But... You put your trust in me, and showed me that you are not perfect--- And it only made me love you more--- It made me understand that I'm not ranked below anyone else like I've always thought." His eyebrows drew together.

"You're the complete opposite of me... But that means, I'm the opposite of you, too. You made me feel like your equal, even right now, you're listening to what I have to say. You changed my life, you gave me the opportunities to grow and learn---... And through them all," He nearly choked on his breath, knowing that the words that formed in his mind were embarrassing.   
"I've learned that I love you." Kyungsoo finally finished talking, letting it all out. Or at least he hoped he did. His mind was in such a mess that he wasn't even sure whether or not he was able to express everything that was beating restlessly in his heart all this time.

It took him several moments of fast breathing to gather enough courage and finally look up in the face of the one he had just confessed his true feelings to. He was surprised, to say the least, from seeing the way Chanyeol's head was turned to the side, and his other hand is covering his mouth out of Kyungsoo's view. Is... Is he laughing at him? Is he sad? Is he disappointed

Kyungsoo's heart was beating so loudly in his ears that he couldn't concentrate enough on reading what sort of expression Chanyeol was wearing. But more than anything, he was very afraid right now, that he might have crossed a line he wouldn't be able to return to. Actually, he knew he had already crossed it at the moment he realized what sort of feelings he has towards Chanyeol.

 

 

"Ever since middle school..." Chanyeol began, the lower half of his face still covered by his hand.  
"I think about fifty different people confessed to me... But only now. Only now because it was YOU who said it, my heart feels like it's going to burst." He said, and Kyungsoo's eyes widened in surprise.   
"T-That's what I feel about you--- All the time!" He quickly explained.

"Kyungsoo..." Chanyeol said, then sighed and removed the hand from his face, revealing that his cheeks and nose are as red as Kyungsoo imagined his own face to be at the moment. The large hand held between his palms freed itself, and was then wrapped over Kyungsoo's own two hands. So instead of him holding Chanyeol's one hand, Chanyeol made them hold hands together. All four limbs connected.

His expression turned a little more serious after he exhaled slowly.   
"I've always had a good impression of you. From the moment I first saw you, when you guided me to school. You caught my interest. You were so cute, still are, and peculiar, and your smile is so beautiful. I've never seen anyone like you before." Chanyeol began talking himself, and Kyungsoo suddenly felt like the roles between them exchanged. Because now it was Kyungsoo who's staring at Chanyeol, and Chanyeol was the one unable to make eye contact in return, so he stared at their hands.

"We ended up in the same class, and I was so curious to learn what kind of person you were. At first I had no idea what to think, because I never got to see you smile again after that morning." Whoa... Does that mean Chanyeol had actually remembered him from that moment all this time? Kyungsoo hasn't realized that Chanyeol was watching him at all.   
"Of course, I figured you were a really good and kind person, since you've always taken the school tasks nobody wanted to do upon yourself..." He sighed.   
"Only later I realized that nobody took these tasks because they knew you'd save them the trouble." His eyebrows frowned together in seriousness, and Kyungsoo felt his hands being sqeezed lightly.

"But you were a lot more than just nice and kind. A whole lot more. When I started talking with you, I felt like my world had expanded. You brought so many new things to me. New emotions... New thoughts... I learned so much, it felt like my eyes had been reopened." What...? Kyungsoo has never done anything important or impressive or good towards Chanyeol. Chanyeol has given him so much and yet he wasn't able to do anything half as amazing as him in return. Is it really alright for Kyungsoo to trust Chanyeol finding him to be a kind person?

"You've changed so much." Chanyeol smiled lightly, and Kyungsoo began worrying. "In a good way. See, I can even talk with you openly like this now." Chanyeol's smile grew a little, and he shut his eyes in order to exhale again.

"You were feeling all these things you just told me... But I'm the one who's been admiring you, Kyungsoo. For standing up for your heart's truth, and working hard, doing your very best to achieve every one of your goals." Chanyeol nodded, eyes still on their hands.   
"You made friends with Jongdae and Baekhyun just like you said you wanted to. You overcame so many fears, and honestly, inspired me with your courage." Kyungsoo didn't know how to process any of what's being said.

"I don't understand why you ever thought I was perfect. I'm foolish, I act too quickly, I'm scared of so many things, I'm so emotional and selfish, wanting things to always go my way... If anything, it's the other way around. You thought you wanted to become like me... But all this time, I wanted to become more like you, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol kept talking, and Kyungsoo's heart kept expanding inside his chest with every word.

"Ever since you showed up, everything has just fallen so perfectly into place. Your arrival into everybody's lives... Including mine, made everything better, and brighter. You gave us so much hope. Connecting Junmyeon and Sehun... Helping Baekhyun and Yixing... Even providing a reason for Jongdae and Jongin to patch themselves up." Kyungsoo could see something bright shining in Chanyeol's eyes, even though they're still directed at their hands being held together.  
"You were there to hold me when I was in the lowest of lows. You've become my hope, my light, my future." He said gently.

Then there was silence. Only the ruffle of the tree tops brushing in the wind could be heard. And maybe a single car's engine echo from a few blocks away. Even with all that Chanyeol had just said, Kyungsoo cannot be sure what the actual response to his confession would be.

Kyungsoo is in love with Chanyeol, it's the very core of his existence. It's the lava at the center of his body, just like planet earth. He opened himself up wholly in front of Chanyeol, and now, he will come to face the result of everything that he had done, wrong or right, with Chanyeol, through the year.

This day will become a part of his most memorable moments in life. Regardless of the outcome. It'll be written in his history as either a celebratory holiday, or a mourning scar on his heart. Whatever will happen, Kyungsoo was scared. Both of these were too great of events to have a fifty chance to debate between. And out of all of the risks Kyungsoo had to take through the year, this was the greatest of them all. Now that his feelings are out there in the world, nothing will ever be the same.

 

 

Then, suddenly, the grip on his hands tightened a lot more, and Chanyeol sighed heavily, almost like he's frustrated.   
"Kyungsoo, I'm sorry, but could you take your confession back?" Chanyeol asked, making Kyungsoo's heart drop to the bottom of his feet and nearly lose balance. Whatever hopes had been building inside him all stood in the air unattached.

Kyungsoo's mind suddenly leaped back to Sohda. When she told him that Chanyeol rejected her kindly, she wasn't lying. This must be the way Chanyeol rejected her as well. He made her feel loved enough to hold on to something, but then revealed that his feelings were not the same anyway. Soon enough, the 'Thank you' will come, and Kyungsoo will know that it is the end.

Could it be...? Is this going to turn into a heart break? Kyungsoo wouldn't be too surprised. He had been living on false hopes ever since it all began. He strayed too far away from the isolation and loneliness that were truly, his entire life. Now will be the time for him to submerge back into his 'Doshio' identity, and never try to become something that he clearly isn't---

"I feel really selfish for this, I know I'm being an idiot, but I wanted to be the one to tell you all of this first. I wanted to be the one to gather enough courage, and be as strong as you," His voice sounded regretful   
"And tell you that I love you, first." Kyungsoo's heart spiked right back up into his chest.   
"I was a coward, and a fool, I was so afraid that I'd scare you off..." Chanyeol spoke sharply, like he's getting filled with anger directed at himself.   
"I should have done it a lot sooner." But at least Kyungsoo was able to breathe when he understood he wasn't being thrown away.

"Kyungsoo, you've become the light in my darkness, and it doesn't even matter what other people might think. I love you. I started increasingly loving you from the moment I saw you smile at me for the first time--- I know it's cheesy, but it's true. And I want you to be mine---... I want you to smile at me like that all the time... I want to be the one to make you smile." Chanyeol's words were so clear and strong that they entered right through Kyungsoo's shell of fears and worries. They reached right into the depths of his heart.   
This was it. This wass everything Kyungsoo had ever dreamed of, coming true right in front of him.

Finally, after all this time, Chanyeol raised his face enough to make eye contact with Kyungsoo. His head was lowered, he was still standing tall, but he looked so small and shy. His thumbs began rubbing on the back of Kyungsoo's hands.   
"W-Would you take me, then? And teach me how to love you right...?" He asked quietly, Kyungsoo could feel his heart beating even in his hands, although at this point he wasn't sure if these were his own heart beats or Chanyeol's.

Quietly, Kyungsoo released his hands from Chanyeol's hold, seeing the way his eyes widened. But before allowing him to think anything, he stepped closer to him and wrapped his own arms tightly around his sides, burying his face into Chanyeol's chest, and immediately hearing the way his heart was beating out of control.   
"I-If you take me, I'm yours." He said quietly against Chanyeol's beloved body heat and scent. Feeling Chanyeol's arms slowly yet lovingly wrapping around him and pulling him further in.

This was heaven. This was the definition of what heaven is made of. Kyungsoo was sure of that. Are there even any words to describe the way he was feeling? He felt chanyeol. He felt Chanyeol, and that's the only thing he truly wanted.

Happiness began flooding all of his systems, filling him with the overflowing love that has been contained within him for so long. For the first time in his life, Kyungsoo learned what it's like to physically feel love. Not only towards someone else, but also what it's like to physically receive love. The way Chanyeol was holding around him was more than he ever imagined being loved would feel like.

He didn't have anything else to hide. No reason to hold back anymore. Like a container that had just emptied everything, he was getting refilled with hope,ease ,ambitions, and Chanyeol.   
So, is that it? Now that Kyungsoo had confessed his love to Chanyeol, and Chanyeol had, shockingly, confessed his love to Kyungsoo, what does it make them? Where do they stand?

 

 

When they parted from the meaningful hug, it felt like they were both just as shocked and clueless about the situation. Kyungsoo stood there quietly staring at Chanyeol, and Chanyeol kept looking back and forth between his house and Kyungsoo while rubbing the back of his head.

"Do you... Want to sleep over tonight?" Chanyeol then asked, breaking the highly heated silence between them. Kyungsoo nodded, he didn't know what words can be said, and the two of them got inside. Chanyeol prepared an extra bed right beside his own, but insisted on letting Kyungsoo sleep in his bed instead of the extra one.   
The atmosphere between them was extremely confusing. Not necessarily awkward, because they both accepted the fact that they are just as new to this as the other, but rather just, uncertain. Neither of them knew what to do or how to behave now, after they've exposed their deepest of feelings to one another.

"Chanyeolie..." Kyungsoo mumbled quietly at one point, when they were already starting to drift into dreamland in the darkness of Chanyeol's room.   
"Yes?" He answered, turning over to lie in Kyungsoo's direction. Kyuyngsoo adjusted himself closer to the edge of the bed, and looked down at the way the night's sky is reflecting on Chanyeol's eyes. Then without saying a word, he lowered his hand towards Chanyeol out of the bed.

Chanyeol smiled gently, and held onto it lightly, before moving slightly, and kissing the top of Kyungsoo's palm. It sent a tingle of warmth all through Kyungsoo's body, so he kept his hand there on purpose. It was so... Hot. Almost sensual in a way.

Kyungsoo had never felt like he craved any touch before in his life, and yet there he was, having his heart jumping with excitement as Chanyeol continued to kiss his hand several more times before laughing.   
"You're so cute." Chanyeol eventually said in a deep airy voice, and Kyungsoo immediately rolled over to face the other side of the bed, hidden tightly under the blanket in embarrassment. Chanyeol kept laughing lightly.

What are all of these sensations? Kyungsoo was sure that by confessing and expressing his true feelings he'd be able to feel less tense and embarrassed around Chanyeol. But now everything he does only swoons him even more. He's really doomed isn't he.

Mere hour ago the most extreme images that would pop up in his mind about an activity to do with Chanyeol were things like holding hands, or sitting beside each other. But while being drowned in Chanyeol's scent, warmth, he felt like he'd be imprinted onto him. And his imagination had stepped up a notch. Now his desires contain way more lips involving businesses, and he felt like he could explode if he allowed his mind to run on its own.

 

 

So, they are dating. That's the descriptive title of their current relationship. Or at least that's what they are going to trust, since Chanyeol's mother explained to them that this is the word that fits the nature of their connection at the moment, after they told her they have confessed to each other during breakfast.

It made Kyungsoo feel quite stressed at the start, because he kept fearing and worrying about the implications of such a connection with Chanyeol. But Chanyeol's mother, such a wonderful and kind woman, reassured the two of them that there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling and experiencing love towards each other.

She told them about how she and Chanyeol's father used to date, and gave them many tips and advices on what to do and how to spend the time together in a pleasant manner regardless of what activities they choose to venture into. Honestly, it helped Kyungsoo relax quite a lot, and gave him the confidence to try harder to not hold anything he thinks and feels back anymore. Chanyeol's mother explained that being this close to someone, means that they will have to continuesly communicate with each other, to keep the connection healthy and honest.

They're still so young, and there's so much more for them to learn about intimacy and closeness when they'll finish highschool and turn eighteen. But they've still got a lot of time, and neither of them are in a rush. Everything they do comes from joy and ease.

Summer is coming, and Kyungsoo had finally learned that there is no need to worry about the fact that he will continue falling deeper and deeper in love with Chanyeol. They are now bound together. They'll learn how to fully trust one another and function as a unit. As exciting as watching Chanyeol from afar had been until that point, Kyungsoo definitely preferred being able to see him from up close.

Kyungsoo doesn't even need to change himself and become anything like anybody else. If Chanyeol loves him the way he is, the only thing he could work on, was to grow more and better himself up. Be a better version of himself, and encourage Chanyeol to do the same. Even though Kyungsoo seriously didn't know if it was possible for Chanyeol to become even better than the way he already is.

All this time Kyungsoo had learned how to love others, and now will be his time to learn how to be loved.

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

 

When they met at school again after the weekend, Kyungsoo could feel that there is a lot of trust and confidence in the way they behaved. As if the both of them really had the same idea about how to deal with this. First of all, they met at their usual spot in the street and got to school together, instead of separately. Secondly, neither of them could concentrate at all during classes. Not that they were learning anything anyway, these are the very last few days of school after they've finished their exams already. Just that they kept gazing at each other, exchanging notes, telling jokes...

So much so that the teacher even had to call them out to be quiet. Which was the first time in Kyungsoo's career as a student when a teacher had to tell him to keep it quiet. If that hasn't given them enough attention from the classroom by lunch, then came Baekhyun with the third point. As Chanyeol moved his table to connect with Kyungsoo's so they could sit and eat together during lunch, both Baekhyun and Jongdae began interrogating them out of curiousity.

"W-We---..." Kyungsoo began mumbling, finding it hard to say due to the increasing speed of his heart.  
"We started dating." Chanyeol said instead, so nonchalantly, while stealing the bite that was held in ksoo's utensils.

"YOU TWO ARE DATING?!" Baekhyun shouted in shock, turning the entire classroom's and the hallway's attention to the two of them sitting and eating at the back corner of the class. Jongdae smacked his arm before smiling at Kyungsoo warmly.  
"Congratulations. Now only my stupid brother has to confess and we'll all be settled." He said in a teasing manner and continued eating himself.

Kyungsoo's eyes scanned the people around them in class, they all began talking quietly to one another for a while, and some students in the hallways began running around and creating chaos by spreading the news. Kyungsoo got nervous. He knew he should have expected it, considering Chanyeol is the number one most popular and beloved student in the entire facility by both students and teachers. But Chanyeol seemed to have noticed his rise in stress, and gently held onto his hand with a smile.  
"Don't worry. None of it matters. I'm yours." He whispered to reassure him.

By the end of the week, students from all classes, mainly girls, came by their classroom to congratulate the new couple. Some came happily and some came burdened with tears, mourning their lost chances with Chanyeol. It was the most attention Kyungsoo has ever gotten in school in his entire life. And he was so grateful that he didn't have to go through it alone. Chanyeol was constantly there beside him to reassure him that everything was alright.

 

 

Are they really, officially dating though? Shouldn't there be something they have to do in order to establish it now?

After spending a few afternoons out in town, and another weekend at Chanyeol's place, after hearing him play on the guitar, after talking with his mother, after eating together, sleeping together, even if in two separate beds... Finally, it was time for Kyungsoo to head back home and prepare for their last few weeks of sophomore year in highschool to begin.

Kyungsoo realized through this time spent with Chanyeol, that although his heart keeps going wild at the most minor of things Chanyeol does, he wanted more of him anyway. Kyungsoo has been so nervous, scared, and worried all this time around Chanyeol, but now that they have nothing to hold back from each other anymore, he felt... At ease.

Chanyeol had a relaxing effect on him now. His deep voice was soothing and warm, his long body and limbs were very comfortable to lean on and interact with. Even just as much as looking at Chanyeol gave him a rush of heat. But he had no fear anymore. No worries. He felt like at the moment they've connected on this level, they somehow magically fit right on the same page with no fault in the system.

He didn't want to let go of Chanyeol's hand when they made it to the divergence in the path. Chanyeol walked him all the way there from his house just because. Kyungsoo was grateful for that, because they got to experience what it's like to walk and hold hands outdoors. It was nothing but greatness.

"Kyungsoo, may I kiss you?" Chanyeol asked quietly right before he was about to turn and leave. Kyungsoo was a little surprised from the question, as his heart began thumping hard inside him.  
"S-Since we're going out... Right? That's what people do... That's what I want to do." Chanyeol added, his ears becoming a pink shade darker. "Yeah." Kyungsoo could only whisper, his voice stuck in his throat with the rise in his pulse's speed.

Chanyeol stepped closer and leaned down slowly. Their eye contact remained, Kyungsoo could see the bright shine in his eyes, until the moment their faces were so close that he could feel Chanyeol's breath on his lips. That's when Kyungsoo shut his eyes, and allowed their lips to meet. It was just a tiny little soft peck. But it felt... Really good. Chanyeol's lips were soft and warm. Kyungsoo felt a little lewd to admit that he wanted more.

As they pulled back from each other, Chanyeol's both hands ran down Kyungsoo's arms until he grabbed onto his hands and held them tightly. With a shaky sigh he lowered his head a little and made their foreheads nudge lightly. Kyungsoo's eyes were open wide in order to admire every detail of Chanyeol's close face he could. His forehead must be as hot as the temperature emitted from his cheeks.  
"I love you." Chanyeol then mumbled with a huff. It sounded like relief, and dripped down right into Kyungsoo's heart.

He wanted more... And at this point, why should he hold back?

Kyungsoo shut his eyes and raised his face, connected their lips together again into another gentle peck, which threw Chanyeol into surprise when they pulled back once more.  
"Chanyeolie..." Kyungsoo began, feeling his entire body trembling with the words he had already known he wanted to say.  
"Do you want to be my b-boyfriend...?" He stuttered a little, but kept holding a smile across his lips, just so Chanyeol could see that he's completely confident about this question.

Chanyeol's entire body stiffened from the question. His eyes wide and his cheeks now also started to coat in the pink that Kyungsoo had assumed his whole face is also colored in. There was a moment of silence, but Kyungsoo didn't feel any fear or worry about it. He knew this is new for Chanyeol as much as it is for himself.

Then suddenly Chanyeol's eyes sharpened in their slots, his expression turned mellow and warm, his breathing turned deep too, as he released Kyungsoo's hands from the hold, and instead wrapped them slowly around his body in a tight hug that put their bodies together. His eyes were glistening when a small smile made an appearance on his lips.  
"If you'd take me, I'm yours." He said, his voice as deep as his breathing.

Kyungsoo's heart leaped in his chest when he raised his own arms and wrapped them around Chanyeol's shoulders. They looked into each other's eyes for a long time, while Kyungsoo's fingers were stroking the back of Chanyeol's head gently. Until at one point, like a spark of electricity flew between them, as they simultaneously leaned their faces in and kissed again. This time with some more affection. More movement, more heat. It was heaven.

 

 

Rumours of them dating spread in school really quickly. At first they only got exposed to the positive side of the outcome of this information being known to all. It was actually a new and amusing experience for Kyungsoo for the most part. He was a little stressed, but some people even thought that Kyungsoo was some sort of good luck charm. If he managed to get Chanyeol to be with him, it must mean that something about it will be granting luck and fortune to those who believe it. Students from all grades began to swarm him, asking for advice, or for a fortune reading that he couldn't really do.

But he tried his best to apply everything that he had learned thanks to his exeperience with friends, and with love, into some useful words that could encourage them to make the right choices with no regrets. It was all in good spirit.

"BOYFRIENDS?!" Baekhyun shouted once Kyungsoo had told him about the change in their official status.  
"I-It doesn't even change anything---..." Kyungsoo urged Baekhyun shyly, trying to keep him down from shouting anything more. Jongdae began laughing pretty loudly right then, and held a hand onto shocked Baekhyun's shoulder.  
"You're such a hypocrite oh my god! Yixing and you didn't even have a 'dating' phase, you literally asked him to be your boyfriend on spot!" Jongdae called out, which caused Baekhyun to shift from a state of shock into laughter as well.  
"Fine, you've got me. But damn, that's so cute. And technically you two have been dating for like a year now lol." He shrugged. And Kyungsoo realized that he wasn't wrong at all.

Although none of their meetings counted as official dates, they both have been interested in each other from the start, and they built their connection deeper thanks to activities that were mostly not within something as boring as studying, or school. They slowly and steadily built up their relationship, and have already done many date-like things together without having that status above their heads.

Baekhyun's comment, surprisingly, only built a little more confidence in Kyungsoo regarding his relationship with Chanyeol. He felt secure, strong, and assured about it. Nothing will be able to change that.

Kyungsoo might still have a few issues with the way he perceives himself, his lack of confidence and love for himself, but even he noticed that from the advancement with Chanyeol, these have been improving rapidly as well. It's been merely two weeks, and he's already able to think this strongly about their connection. He could only hope that Chanyeol was also able to feel this confident. No, actually, he knew he did. Kyungsoo didn't need to worry about doubting this anymore. Not when at the moment Chanyeol entered class again he sent Kyungsoo a playful wink like that.

It all went fairly smoothly at school, until he stood alone for a moment outside the toilet one time and heard the way people were talking about him behind his back. All the people who had even more chances of confessing to Chanyeol but never took them, were now judging him.

Why does he deserve to have pcy? He hasnt done anything. He's just a creepy freak. Was pcy just desperate for a partner all this time so he chose the easiest target?  
When Kyungsoo got back to class he heard Jongdae and Baekhyun talking quietly to one another.  
"I can actually kind of understand those who got angry at them..." Baekhyun said with a sigh. "They're probably heartbroken now. Feeling the same way Kyungsoo himself must have felt when he thought Chanyeol and Sohda were dating..." Jongdae replied with a nod. He stood at the class' entrance and listened to them for a bit in silence. Then, when they finally noticed him there, they looked a bit awkward.  
"Kyungsoo, we don't mean it in a bad way. You knew yourself that these things are bound to happen, right?" Jongdae asked him worriedly.  
"Yeah, we couldn't care less about the others when we know that you two are so happy. So don't worry." Baekhyun smiled at him.

Kyungsoo knew they were right. He knew that if it wasn't for his experience with Sohda he would have never understood what this pain of having the possibility of a person's loved one being snatched away from them is like. A little while later at some point, his thoughts about the subject kept getting ahead of him, and he stood up, surprising them both.  
"I have to go." He turned to leave the classroom.  
"Kyungsoo, this relationship is two sided, you both made that choice. It's not only your responsibility. It's not your fault." Baekhyun called behind him. Baekhyun was right.

There was something he had to do. He has to tell Sohda. He has to thank her for teaching him so much, and being honest with him. As he went to find her, he heard a group of girls and boys talking angrily.  
"It's so unfair that this Doshio guy owns Chanyeol like that." One said.  
"Should we rough him up and teach him a lesson? That'll surely make him stay away from Chanyeol forever." One of the guys said. He could hear some smacking sounds, and could only imagine just what kind of actions that group is pretending to do to whatever they were hitting. It was scary. People will really be taking it this far? What will they gain...? Kyungsoo's never been beaten like that before, the closest he's gotten to it was back in the toilet when the rumours about Baekhyun and Jongdae broke out. He was scared. It'd be better to turn and leave before they notice him there.

But then the unexpected happened. He heard Sohda's voice.

"Huh? What the fuck are you lunatics talking about? Geez. See, this is exactly the reason why Chanyeol would have never even thought of giving a chance to any of you. You're narrow minded and selfish." Sohda said angrily.  
"Who are you to talk? Weren't you the one who started the rumours about Kyungsoo to begin with?" One of the girls called her out.  
"I did. And I dont regret any it either."  
"Then what the hell, you were just using us? There's no difference between us. Just join us, we'll teach him good." The aggressive guy who spoke before talked again.  
"You guys are sick. You think Chanyeol would have liked it if he knew what you're thinking right now? Don't put me in the same boat as you. I at least did everything I could to help myself. None of you have ever even said anything to him. I've already accepted it. As much as I hate to admit that I lost to a weakling such as Kyungsoo." Sohda said, then turned around and saw Kyungsoo.

"Sohda..." He mumbled, feeling touched and warm that she was willing to step up for him even though she thought he wasn't there at all. Sohda's heart is still just as golden as it was before. He already knew all these things she was saying, so he wasn't surprised from her words. He came to where they are located now because he wanted to thank her. It just happened to be where the group of those who are unhappy about the situation stood as well.

"Oh~ Look who's here." The group said and starts gathering around Kyungsoo.  
"How'd you get him? What did you do? What did you say? Have you put a curse on him you freak? I bet you hypnotized him, put him under your black spells or some shit. Tell us the truth, why you? He could have chosen anybody so there's no way he'd go for you. Such a weirdo. What a nuistance. We should have been way more rough when we dealt with you last time, you scum---"  
All of them spoke around him at the same time. Their voices coming at him from every direction, like little demons whispering in his ears. He was scared enough already after hearing that they intend on hurting him, but now he was caged.

Their voices slid right over his heart and started weighting it down. He... He knew none of this was true. He knew that they only say such things because they want him away from Chanyeol... He shouldn't listen to them. He shouldn't hear a word they say... But it hurt, and he wanted them to stop. Kyungsoo simply couldn't move at all. He stood there silently, fists clenched and shoulders stiff in fear while his eyes were shaking and staring at the ground. It'd be so much better if he could just get swallowed up and disappear.

"Will you shut up already?! You guys are so damn pathetic!! Look at yourselves, the lowest of lows." Sohda shouted, clenching her fists and looking at them angrily.  
"Chanyeol has made his choice, can't you understand that?! If you're so upset then go ahead and tell him. See if he cares now. You've all lost the chance you've never had, just go on with your lives. Chanyeol absolutely hates people who have ulterior motives and think of hurting others selfishly like you guys are doing right now." Kyungsoo was shaken out of the state of darkness he had entered thanks to Sohda's anger. He looked in her direction surprised. She was really giving her all. She was basically fighting for his sake, and he felt so lame for being unable to act on his own at that moment.

The group of students looked pretty awkward and nervous after hearing her. Like they've been accurately called out. The atmosphere became heavy and tense.  
"And anyway, if you do anything to Kyungsoo, pcy will never forgive you." She paused for a moment.  
"Just like he will never forgive me." Kyungsoo was standing there pretty stunned from her words.

She turned around to leave, finally. And it seemed to be the right time, because the students must have understood that what they were doing went against their own wishes. But the group seemed to be angry again instead.  
"Wait right there skunk, we're not done talkin---" One of the girls began calling out. Enough. Kyungsoo couldn't let this continue any longer. When it was about him, he became completely helpless, but now if their actions will put Sohda in danger, he wouldn't allow it.

He stepped ahead of the group and raised his arm, stopping the girl from going after Sohda, and creating a barrier of distance between the group and her.  
"Sohda is important to me." He said to the group, then began walking after Sohda. He heard the girl's angry voice behind him  
"What the?! Acting all high and mighty now just because you're the boyfrie---" But her voice was cut off by Baekhyun and Jongdae's cheerful "Sup~"  
Ah... They came after him anyway. Kyungsoo really didn't know what he would have done without them. When he'd done talking with Sohda, he has to thank them as well.

 

 

They've reached the end of the hallway. The window was wide open as wind blew inside and gave Sohda's beautiful hair just the right amount of movement to look like she's a part of a shampoo commercial. Ah... Kyungsoo really won't ever get over just how beautiful she is. Sohda just stood there quietly for a short while, before turning around to Kyungsoo.  
"What?" She looked a little impatient, but there was no anger coming from her anymore.

"I confessed to Chanyeol. We're going out now. He's... He is my boyfriend." Kyungsoo said. He has to keep his word to Sohda, he will stay honest with her until the end. He will let her know everything. Sohda's eyes softened a little after hearing his words.  
"So what? You came here to brag?" She responded with a small pout, but then exhaled lightly and looked into Kyungsoo's eyes.  
"So things have turned out that way." She added, and Kyungsoo simply nodded, the air was actually kind of pleasant in front of these windows.

"Honestly... Out of everyone, I'm glad that it's you. You were the one that pushed my feelings to the edge, after all. Thanks to you, I confessed, thanks to you, I got rejected." Sohda said with a calm tone and began playing with a strand of her hair.  
"Thanks to you, I confessed too." Kyungsoo looked into her eyes.

"It feels like we've gone a full circle, somehow." Sohda hummed and looked out the window for a little while, then turned to look at Kyungsoo with a small gorgeous smile.  
"Good luck, dealing with that mess of a boy." She grinned in a teasing manner, then walked away. Leaving Kyungsoo standing in the wind she left behind. Ah... He's so happy. He just got Sohda's blessing.

 

 

Other than school related activities, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo began seeing each other a lot more often without needing it as an excuse. They haven't done anything big, or too exciting. They went out together for some movies, they visit each other's places and stay to sleep freely, play games together, Chanyeol plays music for Kyungsoo a lot, too.

They went to eat together, and even on a double date with Baekhyun and Yixing to a chinese restaurant Yixing recommended. They had a wonderful time there. Baekhyun and Yixing were constantly making each other laugh, which made them laugh as well. Chanyeol and Baekhyun also, as the comedic duo of their group of friends, stole the night with their hilarious conversation and teases.

Kyungsoo got the chance to speak with Yixing quite a lot, and learned so much about the nature of healthy connections, about compromise, about red lines that must not be crossed, and various other important things about a relationship. He also, got to learn about Yixing himself a little more, which was always nice.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo have become used to each other's presence. They cook together often, and even managed to find a way to cuddle when relaxing in the heat of summer's approach. It was nothing extreme, or fancy. They just slowly learned to adjust to each other, and work on the little things as a team. Just enjoying each other's company and getting rid of the previous barriers of shyness, embarrassment or fears, that held them back from fully embracing their feelings for one another.

The best part of it all, if Kyungsoo had to be really honest, was the kissing. The hand kisses, cheek kisses, nose kisses, chin, jaw, neck, forehead... Shoulder, thigh, and lips. All the kisses. Wherever they reached, they kissed. And it was so serene. It was so peaceful and gentle.

Kyungsoo quickly learned that Chanyeol crumbles down in an instant when he managed to kiss his ears. But he was pretty 'unhappy' when he realized Chanyeol had learned that Kyungsoo's own body turns into a noodle when his lips come in touch with his neck.

The end of year ceremony was pretty nice, a little emotional, though. Kyungsoo watched how Sehun and Chanyeol hugged their band mates goodbye and promised they'd keep in contact. He was a little surprised when Yubin, the band's lead singer that couldn't show up to the festival due to her unexpected broken arm, approached him and repeated yet again, just like in practices, that if there's anything he ever needed, he could contact her.

"Also, goodluck with your big boy. He's been waiting for this for a long time for this. Trust me." She winked, and Kyungsoo felt his cheeks heat up. He already knew from Chanyeol's confession that he's been having feelings for him for a long time... But hearing Chanyeol's own senior say this to him just made it even more shy-worthy.

 

 

"So, what do you think? Does it look alright?" Kyungsoo asked his parents worriedly one evening when he returned from the barber shop at the corner of the street. He touched the fringe to his forehead with hesitation. It felt so... Soft, and light, compared to the thick nearly eye hiding bangs he had before.

"Oh baby, you look lovely!" Kyungsoo's father responded with a delighted smile, standing up from the couch and heading over to him with wide examining eyes. "It really fits you! Ah, it's all your mother's genes..." He laughed lightly, and Kyungsoo chuckled with subtle shyness.

His hair was now short. Very short, and brown. His forehead is nearly exposed under the light saturated bangs, and the sides of his head never felt this bare before. But it's good. As fearful as he is of changes, this one felt right. He was thinking of getting a new style for a while. He can't exactly credit this craving to Sohda, but she was a pretty strong point for him to want to make a change as well. After the time she came to school looking like a walking bomb of appeal he couldn't help but wonder if he could somehow achieve the same.

He hasn't even told any of his friends about the change. Not even Chanyeol. It's kind of a surprise, but it'd definitely work well since in the summer it's harder to maintain a thick haircut.

Chanyeol's eyes widened when they met the next day at the entrance to the movie theatre. He stared at Kyungsoo for a few long moments in shock before walking towards him in quick steps and cupping his cheeks within his large palms. Kyungsoo too, was now surprised.

"Handsome... So handsome... Oh my god... This... This looks so good on you... Whoa..." Chanyeol mumbled repeatedly for almost a minute, turning Kyungsoo's head around gently while looking all over the new style. Eventually, eye contact finally happened between them, and Kyungsoo realized just how much more pink Chanyeol's ears looked, peeking from the sides of his sports cap.

"T-Thank you..." He mumbled, a whole lot more shy than he felt when his parents complimented him, but a whole lore more happy too. Chanyeol thinks he's handsome... He liked it... Kyungsoo's heart was drumming with joy in his chest.

"So which movie did yo--- Mmh---" Kyungsoo couldn't complete the sentence before he felt, and saw, and was completely overtaken by Chanyeol's lips attaching to his in a gentle, yet soulful affectionate kiss. His body stiffened for a split second before loosening down and easing into the feeling. His hands gently climbed their way up to Chanyeol's neck, and they stood there, kissing, quietly, lovingly.

Until Kyungsoo was the first to pull back, getting a little overwhelmed by just how much warmth was suddenly transferred to his body from Chanyeol's display of love. Chanyeol looked way worse, well, way better, his entire face was shaded a pink darker and his eyes looked glazed.

"Y-You really like it this much...?"  
"I do." Chanyeol replied immediately, raising his hand and stroking his long fingers over Kyungsoo's head, the tips brushing through his soft hairlocks.  
"You look so fresh. You're so handsome." He hummed, calming down, while Kyungsoo's pulse rocketted higher.  
"It's gonna start feeling like an overkill if you keep going..." He mumbled shyly, turning to walk towards the ticketing booth. He heard Chanyeol chuckle beside him.

The movie was nice, but Kyungsoo could barely pay any attention to it. Not when Chanyeol's flavour was still lingering on his lips. And when his large hand was resting ever so slightly closer to his body between the seats. And when Chanyeol himself looks at least a thousand times more handsome today than what Kyungsoo thought he could ever look like. He felt fragile through their whole meeting, and had to fight really hard against the urge to constantly seek more touch from his overjoyed boyfriend.

Next time, he thought to himself, maybe they could simply watch a movie together at home. That way neither of them would have to feel like they have to hold back. Even if it's hot in the summer, cuddling and watching a movie together never seemed like a bad option.

 

 

Kyungsoo heard a sound of a light thud behind him. Standing in the bus station for the past few minutes, where he and Chanyeol were supposed to meet in order to get on the right line and get to their plan.

"Morning." A deep voice, and two long arms wrapped around Kyungsoo's body from behind, as he melted into the touch and smiled lightly.  
"Good morning." He replied softly and turned his head sideways, planting a soft kiss on Chanyeol's cheek.  
"You look so tired... Did you sleep well?" He asked before turning around and facing Chanyeol, whose arms were still holding on his hips. His boyfriend smiled goofily.  
"I slept so well I could barely wake up."  
"Did you bring everything?"  
"Yup. You helped me pack youself."

"Pack... Sounds so dramatic. We're just going to the beach." Kyungsoo chuckled and gently raised his hand, trailing his fingers in Chanyeol's hair to fix it even a little bit and make it look less like he just woke up. Chanyeol's expression softened as he leaned in to the touch sleepily. Ah... Kyungsoo really loves these little moments the most.

The moments where neither of them are on guard. Where they are able to freely be fully and only themselves with one another, and exchange this sort of heat that comes from the depths of their honest selves. Kyungsoo loves it when Chanyeol becomes unapologetically touchy and needy. Even if in public he gets a bit shy about it, when they're in a private setting Kyungsoo would never decline a little more touch. In fact, sometimes he felt like he was the one being touchy, especially when Chanyeol had these days of being 'in the zone'.

Whenever Chanyeol's focused on something, specifically a creative process such as anything music related, he has this sharp look in his eyes. Passion, interest, ambition and seriousness. But also a lot of pride and excitement. Kyungsoo felt himself fall under a spell of admiration whenever Chaneyol entered that state. He was mesmerized.

But it came with the price of getting the urge to receive some of that immense focus and attention on himself too. More often than not, simply resting against him was enough to fulfill Kyungsoo's need, but sometimes because he wanted so much, he'd break Chanyeol out of his focused state. He felt a little bad for it, but it was worth it every time. Considering Chanyeol would become so incredibly happy and playful, and like a pair of puppies they'd begin showering each other with teasing affection.

Everything about Chanyeol was simply happiness for Kyungsoo.

Soon after they boarded the right bus, and enjoyed the fairly long, yet luckily empty ride to the beach. Right as they made it out, admiring the view, Kyungsoo's phone began ringing in his pocket.  
"KYUNGSOOOOOO!" Baekhyun's voice was loud at the moment he answered.  
"Baekhyun, where are you guys? We just made it there."  
"We're right thereeeeeee look to the left--- I mean, the right!!" Kyungsoo turned to look, finding that Baekhyun was standing there and waving eagerly. Behind him stood a makeshift tent. "Okay, we're coming." The call ended, and they both came over to their group, taking off their sandals when they reached the sand.

Minseok, Sehun, and Yixing were already out in the water, while Junmyeon and Jongdae tried to start up the little grill they brought along.  
"Hey boys!" Junmyeon greeted them with a smile, and somehow, time started running in double speed. Just like the saying goes, time goes fast when you're having fun.

Chanyeol was quick to take off his clothes and rush out to the water eagerly, which left Kyungsoo nearly dying from seeing his shirtless figure. Every muscle flexing and shining, reflecting back the light of the sun over his smooth skin. If he hadn't had his mouth shut, he would definitely be drooling. After a gulp, he began undressing as well to join them in the water. That's when Baekhyun comforted him with a grin, and said that he could completely relate to the feeling. He admitted that he had the same shock with Yixing before as well. Kyungsoo felt a little better about not being the only one getting lewd images in his mind from the sight.

They played in the sand, burying Minseok and decorating his sand cover like a cat. They played with a beach ball, some floating surfaces and even snorkles that they had. Later, when the hunger came about, Jongdae and Kyungsoo took care of the little grill. Everyone nearly lost their mind when Jongdae accidentally flipped the aluminum paper with all the meat on top, but Kyungsoo managed to save it from the sand at the last minute. He probably also saved Jongdae from an early death in the hands of their friends.

They finished with a relaxing group conversation and a chilled watermelon, freshly sliced for them all to share. Jongdae updated them all on the fact that Jongin has been thinking about joining an art academy next year. He'll still be with them in highschool, but receive extra art and design related classes as well.

Under Baekhyun's suggestion, they recorded a message of good luck for him via Jongdae's phone. And moments after sending the message, Jongin replied with a spam of heart emojis. They were pretty impressed, considering normally he either responds very late, or doesn't respond at all.

It was a freeing, wonderful, first time experience to the beach that Kyungsoo will remember for the rest of his life. Another 'first time' action to add to the list of things he'd done for the first time after meeting Chanyeol.

On the way back, Kyungsoo drifted into sleep. He had no idea how long had passed when he later woke up briefly in Chanyeool's room. It was definitely night time, if to consider by the darkness in the room.

Chanyeol was sitting on the side of the bed and stroking his hair while talking quietly into the phone in his other hand.  
"Yes, he's sleeping right next to me..." He chuckled lightly.  
"Okay. I'll make sure he does. Thank you ma'am, goodnight." Chanyeol shut the phone and put it aside, then saw that Kyungsoo was awake and smiled, leaning down and pecking his head.  
"It's okay, it was your mom, go back to sleep." He said quietly while repeatedly nipping kisses over Kyungsoo's head and jaw, and Kyungsoo tugged lightly to his arm before falling asleep again.

He is so in love.

The two of them spent the summer practically living with each other. Either it was Chanyeol staying over the Kyungsoo's place, or Kyungsoo staying at Chanyeol's. They spent so many days and so many nights together, and yet Kyungsoo didn't feel even a little bit less mesmerized by the amount of happiness Chanyeol kept bringing into his life.

 

 

They started senior year as a dating couple, boyfriends. The most famous couple in school, in fact.

There was no more 'Doshio'. No more ghost references, no more curses or bad omens or rumours. His classmates were not afraid of him. They weren't scared of sitting beside him, behind him or anywhere near him when their seats were changed. Instead of being avoided and ignored, although he was still shy, Kyungsoo walked around like royalty around school. He was convinced it was all thanks to Chanyeol, and the fact that now when they are dating, nobody would dare to get in his way or cause him any harm or else they'll be dealing with Chanyeol's wrath.

Even though Chanyeol keeps insisting that it's all thanks to his own hard work and effort that he's able to now feel the bloom of the little flower seeds of actions he'd planted all through last year.

He couldnt wait to see what adventures they'll be embarking on this year, and how the future would look like. He was looking forward to it more than ever. Because he knows that he wouldn't have to do it alone. The friends he made along the way, the connections he formed, Chanyeol... They are all there with him.

It felt almost odd, to sit in class and think about Chanyeol. Because up until this year, it used to be thoughts filled with confusion, admiration and fascinationg. Much like a fan. And now, when he's sitting in class and thinking about him, he thinks about what the two of them could make for dinner together. Whether they'd be sleeping in his house, or Chanyeol's. There's longing and attachment rather than distance and fear.

Like that, with 'Doshio' in the memories and Kyungsoo being the only one here, they will begin a new and adventurous year.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this ending isn't very definitive but I thought leaving it open would give it a hopeful feeling.  
> This story began as a soft and gentle idea and turned into a course of highs and lows of emotions haha.  
> But if you are, like 'Doshio', in an environment where you feel like a cursed ghost, I hope you'll be able to gather the courage just as Kyungsoo did, and push through the fears and worries to show the world your true selves. You don't have to remain the ghost!  
> You can never know who might need just that contrast in their lives in order to shine brighter.
> 
> (P.S: I actually never watched The Grudge, but what better time to catch up than Halloween, am I right?)
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/ksoominie) if you'd like! ♡
> 
> Thank you very much for reading the story. For all the consistant readers who kept commenting and showing support, I just--- Aaah you guys are the best. TT
> 
> I would love to hear your thoughts about the story. ♡


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